Adrian Battye (adrianswall) wrote in carpediem_rp, @ 2015-09-25 18:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: adrian battye, character: jackson london, character: narissa smith, thread: complete |
Who: Adrian Battye and Narissa Smith, and then Adrian and Jackson London
When: 23 September, after This.
Where: Outside, by the lake
What: these boys are not so bright?
Rating/Warnings: None - except possible frustration on the part of everyone towards Adrian
Status: Closed/Complete
The journals - and associated discussion - had gotten annoying, so Adrian sought out his sister. He was concerned about her, something had dulled her sparkle a little bit. He would rather focus on her and spend time with her than his own complicated relationships. He knew he had not told Jackson what the other boy wanted to hear, but Adrian was annoyed with the constant pressing to define their relationship as something more than 'more than friends'.
Narissa was, as was often the case, out by the lake, her feet dangling into the water and her pants rolled up to her knees. When her brother approached she smiled at him initially, though her eyes narrowed a bit at the small hints that something or someone was bothering him. When he finally sat to join her she shifted and rested her head on his shoulder, hugging him. "Missing me again, Adi?"
"Always, Sissy." Adrian greeted her as he settled beside her, resting his cheek against her head on his shoulder. He used to think he had this kind of easy relationship with Jackson, but now things were different. The discussion on the journals proved that. "So apparently you aren't actually free with your love, but instead free with money." He teased her.
"And you're not actually addicted to chocolate but the tasty sales clerk. Is it the one with black hair?" A teasing wink and she settled more comfortably. "If so, I commend your taste entirely." Because it was true that the young sales clerk was pretty, though right now Narissa simply found herself comparing people to Violet.
"It would probably be insulting to admit that I hardly noticed the clerk." Adrian admitted - shrugging only the shoulder she wasn't leaning on. "Tend to be more focused on the purchase…" He didn't like the word addict applied to his indulgence in chocolate - or anything about him. "Which might be a sign it is time to cut it out." If it was becoming known as an addiction, he was probably overdue to cut it from his life.
"Not your taste. Curls do it for you more I suppose?" A teasing commentary on the past weekend and his time with Jackson. She frowned at his next words and shook her head. "It's something you enjoy, Adi. You have so few things that you allow yourself that enjoyment with." Her eyes moved to his and she hugged him again, tighter. "I'm just teasing, really."
Adrian shrugged a little as his sister teased him about his taste. "Blue eyes," Adrian admitted, picturing Jackson's eyes… and picturing the annoyed face he expected Jackson had at the moment. Jackson was annoyed as well as annoying. Adrian knew the 'breakup' was coming. As for his addiction, "The gossip writer said it too," so he knew it was a problem. As careful as he was, Adrian was Wallace's son.
Narissa nodded slightly. She knew by this point that that was a thing, and she was pretty sure she'd seen it before they had. That was natural for her though - plus it didn't help that she was pretty sure both boys were completely inept when it came to emotions. "The gossip writer also said I pay people to say I slept with them. You like chocolate. It's one thing you allow yourself to occasionally indulge in. You really are allowed to enjoy things, Adi. I promise."
Adrian was already considering his chocolate stash and the significance of it, how long it would last, how long it could last, and what it implied about him. "In excess though nothing is good." Adrian pointed out. "She is all about excess." So was Jackson, but in different ways.
"So would you say I play quidditch in excess? Or I'm nice in excess? Because it is the same idea." Narissa raised an eyebrow. "It's not like you're never eating anything but chocolate. It's just a favorite for you. There is nothing wrong with that. And you're not her, Adi. Far from it."
"My father is too." Tony Stark was larger than life after all. "It comes from both sides..." Adrian leaned into his sister. "He's upset with me again," Adrian admitted, acknowledging his - apparently ongoing - relationship issues with the man who was his best friend but apparently did not want to be anymore.
"And so it's genetically a risk for both of us. She's mom's sister." So if one wanted to trace genetics it was in her family as well. She stroked her fingers over Adrian's forehead lightly and shook her head. "If it was a real addiction you wouldn't be thinking this way. You'd be denying that it was a problem instead of becoming this worried." Because she'd seen how his mother acted. "And he's a Gryffindor. They have tempers a lot of the time. Want to tell me what happened? Or do you just need hugs?" Because she was open to either.
"Apparently we are no longer friends now that we are kissing, or at least it is not permissible to call him my friend when we are speaking to each other." Adrian knew he could have just given Jackson what he thought he wanted. Perhaps he should have, since it would probably just be easier.
"Maybe he..." A pause and she pursed her lips. "I don't know. Gryffindor logic isn't something I'm all too good at. What exactly did he say? Did he offer an alternative or something?" Because at least that would make sense to her a little more. Maybe. "Rational doesn't always work with them. Emotions are high up in that house. Maybe talk to him like you do to me?" Because he was often more open with her, simply because she could tell when he wasn't.
"We have been friends long enough that it should not be necessary to be so careful about how something is said." Adrian sighed. "It feels as though he's gotten more sensitive, or… that he expects something from me that is impossible." Adrian admitted softly.
Narissa sighed softly and shook her head. "Adrian? You and your moronic best friend share one vital bit in common. It's been typically why you get on so well." She nestled closer and closed her eyes, comfortable. "Neither of you think you really will have or deserve lasting happiness. It shows differently in you both - you hide from the risks and he lashes out. But it's there."
Which meant that Jackson would get tired of it all soon enough. Adrian didn't say this aloud though, just nodding and enjoying the fact that despite everything it was still easy to be with his sister. "He's not my best friend now though. He's more." Adrian rolled his eyes. He didn't understand why best friend was suddenly a bad term. Adrian didn't have many real friends.
"Maybe he's just seeking acknowledgment that it's a relationship? Like I said, Gryffindor logic isn't really normal people logic." At least from what she had seen. They were more temperamental and sensitive typically. It was something that occasionally had to be catered to, though she'd noted that their moods passed quickly enough too. "I mean... Like, I wouldn't say that Vi's my best friend. She's more than that, you know? I love her, so it's something different." She would brush off questions with that but Adrian knew how close the girls were.
Adrian didn't entirely want to admit it was a relationship, since relationships ended. Friendships didn't end. "Probably." Adrian agreed. Agreeing seemed easiest. "You aren't kissing Vi though," Adrian did understand her point, even if it wasn't directly comparable.
Narissa shrugged one shoulder. That wasn't by choice and she would be if she were able. She didn't want to think on that though. "Just talk to him, Adi." And a glance to the side told her that he would have the opportunity to do that perhaps sooner than he would have liked.
Adrian hadn't noticed Jackson yet. His gaze was on the lake and just sitting comfortably with his sister. "It is not something I avoid doing, Sissy." It just… didn't always go well lately it seemed.
"Be clear like you are with me." She shifted back slightly and kissed his cheek lightly. "He's over there," Murmured softly, a warning. She could very easily get up and leave him to talk, or glare protectively from Adrian's side until Jackson skittered off in fear. She was protective of those she loved.
"You are my sister." He wasn't kissing her. Somehow, that seemed to complicate everything. At her admission that Jackson was there, Adrian immediately turned to look for him - unable to stop himself from seeking him out. Adrian chewed at his lip, not looking away from Jackson.
Narissa smiled softly as she watched him react. "Just tell him you love him, in whatever way you have to. It's obvious to everyone but you two." This murmured softly as she rose to her feet, starting to head back to the castle as Jackson walked closer, anger evident in his eyes as he got to within close view.
Abandoned by his sister. Adrian thought as she left him to Jackson. Tell him you love him. Except for the fact that she didn't know the degree to which Adrian had irritated Jackson. Adrian didn't get up though, although it might feel better to be on equal (or almost equal) height with Jackson. It wouldn't make this any easier.
Jackson strode over, his eyes narrowed as Adrian didn't rise. Yes, he was angry, but he was also hurt. He didn't know why he was so hurt. He loved Adrian. He wanted the feeling to be mutual and he knew it wasn't something he should have. It wasn't even something he probably should want. He raised a brow and examined his friend. "You know... Sometimes change is a good thing. Doesn't mean anything is ending. Ever." Anger was in his voice but it was clear he was trying to temper it with the concern he had too.
Adrian frowned a little as Jackson strode up to him, towering above him. He should've gotten up then. He'd hoped… well it was stupid to hope for anything. "Do you want to sit down and join me, or are you just here to make your point and then go?" Jackson's anger was obvious, although Adrian just accepted it as expected at this point.
Jackson glared for a moment before sitting down next to the other boy. "Was I unclear?" Because he was pretty sure that he had just said he wasn't going anywhere. "You're stuck with me." Even if he was really confused and hurt by the lack of admission that they were in a proper relationship now.
The moment stretched almost too long before Jackson sat. Adrian wasn't sure he would - had expected he might leave. While Jackson was clear that he said it, but it didn't mean it was true. Adrian didn't argue that though. "Wouldn't call it stuck, really." Adrian offered, uncertainly. Everything he said was wrong after all.
Jackson shifted slightly to look at Adrian, taking in everything he could. "Do you want to be lovers, Adrian?" Because that was the magic question right now. An affirmative would prod things forward. He just didn't know if it was what the other boy wanted, and all he wanted was to be able to make Adrian happy.
"It's been a while since I had a boyfriend," Adrian murmured; he didn't know if he was a good lover, not for certain. It wasn't something he worried about normally but everything about what was happening with Jackson made him uncertain. "It is not that I don't want to be intimate, but." He didn't want to be hurt either. "Or do you still mean non sexual?"
"I would want both with you." His own voice was softer and more tentative now, unsure if he even deserved that from Adrian. "We're already intimate. This is just adding. I told you that." His eyes met Adrian's, closely examining the other boy. "I want to be..." He didn't know how to describe it honestly. A sigh passed his lips and he shook his head. "Lovers. Physically and emotionally intimate. I mean... We've always been emotionally. I don't want to push and so if you don't want that relationship we can do friends. I think though we would be good together that way."
Adrian was not his sister, and talking about his feelings was not one of his strengths. He avoided. He accepted, but he didn't focus on or talk about them. Obviously Jackson did. It was normally part of his charm - that his friend felt everything and everything he felt showed so clearly on him. It was part of his tragedy too, with the accident and the loss of his sister. But now it was forcing Adrian into uncomfortable places. The only way it seemed to satisfy Jackson was words - but the words weren't right. Adrian chewed on his lip. "I say friends because I don't want to lose that… even if we… are physical with each other too." He didn't know if Jackson would understand. "Even if we are more."
Jackson examined Adrian quietly as he spoke, offering a small nod. One hand moved to stroke along the other boy's cheek and he met his eyes, focusing on the message he was given as well as the one giving it. "You're stuck with me, no matter what we call it. When I say lover, it is just built on friend. It's what we are. One doesn't replace the other, it just makes it more." He rested his forehead on Adrian's, bringing them closer. "I'm not going anywhere any more than you are."
Adrian wasn't sure if Jackson understood. "It doesn't matter what you call me… but… you seem to get upset by the use of friend." Adrian didn't want to upset Jackson, but he didn't want to go around flashing their relationship either. He just wanted it to be. Hogsmeade had been nice after they'd gotten past the fact that it was a DATE - when it stopped feeling like something strange and felt like him and Jackson.
"Between us we're more. Publicly it's no one's business." He shrugged one shoulder a tiny bit. "I just..." He shook his head and sighed. "I'm being stupid about things. I know." Because he wanted to be reassured that he was wanted, but he knew that pushing for too much reassurance might end with him losing what he had. That was terrifying. He didn't want to do that.
They didn't need to label it more than they had, did they? They were in a relationship. "We aren't dating anyone else," Adrian reminded Jackson of that. What else did Jackson need to just… relax about it all? Adrian turned his head slightly to kiss his friend.
Jackson nodded a tiny bit, responding instantly to the kiss. It was good, being with Adrian. There was nothing else to it. His arms moved to pull his friend closer to him, closing his eyes and just letting go of everything but being close to the other boy.
That was better. Just… kissing. Not talking about what they were supposed to call each other. Or what everything meant. Just being together, focusing on the soft feel of Jackson's mustache against his lip, and the taste of his mouth. Adrian slowly slipped his hand into the hair at the back of Jackson's neck.
Jackson sighed happily against Adrian's lips, his body shifting closer and holding him tightly. Adrian was his, and in moments like this he could almost believe that he deserved it, that it was something he could keep. He just wasn't sure how long he could convince himself of it.
This. This was what felt right. This was it should be like. Jackson's body pressed against his, tasting, touching. This. When it was like this, he almost felt like it might work, at least for a moment.