Gwynn (dame_du_lac) wrote in carpediem_rp, @ 2015-09-13 21:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: adrian battye, character: narissa smith, thread: complete |
Who: Adrian and Narissa
Where: by the lake
When: Sunday 13 September, dinner time
Warning: None
Status: Closed, Complete
It had been a bit too long, by Narissa's way of thinking, since she and her brother had time together. She missed him and so when she saw him enter the Great Hall for dinner, she had already loaded a bag of both of their favourite foods and she headed with it to the Slytherin table, grabbing his arm lightly. "Picnic outside tonight?" Because they both needed time together sometimes and she knew he hadn't been having the easiest time with things lately.
She hardly waited for a reply before she started heading toward the doors, shifting her bag to distribute the weight of the food more evenly. The charms she'd put on the platters covered them and kept them from spilling onto the bag or her back, so she was well prepared for the trek to the lake with him.
Adrian got up and followed, knowing his sister was not to be denied. And the truth was, he did miss her and felt as though it had been weeks since they had spent any time together. It happened commonly enough during the school year that they were apart, but this was more than usual. He'd been caught up in trying to sort out the men in his life - the one thing he'd thought was settled for years. He wasn't sure he was any closer to resolution with either relationship, but the other person seemed satisfied that things were at least moving in the right direction and were willing to wait for him to catch up to them - whatever that meant.
Not even halfway to the water, Adrian took the pack from his sister. He was still the big brother, and that meant being the one to carry things for his tiny sister. "So what've you been up to this week, Sissy?"
Narissa was more than used to Adrian and so his tension was entirely obvious to her in a way it would not have been to nearly anyone else. She loved him for all his quirks and one of them, the taking of her backpack, brought a slight teasing look and eye roll. She was strong for her size, but he still always wanted to look out for her. She was used to that at this point.
She shrugged at his question. "Ripping my hair out studying to keep up, mostly." A tiny smile and she looked over at him. "How about you? I see you and Jackson are talking again?"
Adrian didn't address her question until they were at the water, keeping the focus on her. "So you're feeling better now?" She'd been rattled by something before they went back to school same as Adrian was. He delayed answering her return question to him while they set up her picnic. He knew she'd recognize the delaying tactic, but he wasn't ready to get into the topic of his own issues yet.
"I'm okay." She offered him a smile. She was still finding the way Violet was acting a little strange but she was giving time like she said she would. Once she settled on the grass and picked up a bit of food she fixed her eyes on her brother again. "How about you? What's going on? It's been awhile since we've really talked about anything.
"You saw the feathers thing. With his pillow. And the not sleeping. It was my fault." His tone conveyed he wasn't entirely sure what he'd done, but that he accepted it was, since everyone had said it was. "We talked Friday though - well he talked." And hooked up again.
"Okay. So you're going to have to explain a bit more so that bit makes sense." Narissa's sibling knowledge told her that there was probably something about the human element of all this that she might understand more than her brother did. It was a normal situation honestly. She didn't always get school, and he didn't always get people. "And the talking went well?"
"It doesn't make sense to me," Adrian admitted. He wasn't sure he could even relate enough detail for his sister to make sense of it all. "He was upset at me.. I guess it had been building since we got back to school? He thought I was ignoring him or something." Adrian hadn't been, not consciously. But he hadn't known what to say when Jackson said that he'd liked sleeping with him. "And then we talked on the tablets and he got frustrated and blew up his pillow." Adrian explained.
Narissa listened quietly and then held out her hand for his tablet. "Show me." Because it would probably be easier for her to figure it out based on what was said and discussed rather than trying to piece together what Adrian was telling her. He often missed things that would seem small but would give her the bit of a push she needed to understand why something happened in a way he rarely ever could.
Adrian sighed and handed it to her. Normally he wouldn't have shared it, but Jackson had let Ari read it all already - starting with the lead up to the pillow indicent. Everyone else seemed to know what Adrian had done wrong, he knew only that Jackson had though he'd been ignored. Adrian hadn't been trying to ignore him though. He waited while his sister read.
Narissa examined the tablet quietly and paused before speaking again. She smiled slightly at him. "You keep saying he doesn't have to change for you, but the fact is that he feels like he does. It seems like he did something or you said something that made him feel like you couldn't count on him?" Her eyes moved to his face and she shrugged. "He cares about you in a way that doesn't seem to be friendly and you... He's a Gryffindor. They don't get things the same way, and you saying that he's wasting his energy on you? I get the feeling he took that as you brushing him and his feelings for you off."
"I never said anything like that to him." Adrian argued, the smallest hint of a temper surfacing that even his sister thought he'd insulted his friend. He leaned back against the blanket. "He keeps saying he needs to change for me and he doesn't." He sighed. Adrian thought their friendship was built on a simple acceptance of each other. It had been for years.
"Adrian?" Narissa raised a brow at him. "He's a Gryffindor. I never said you said that. Simply that he interpreted something to mean that." She didn't know what it would be but she assumed it was just a misunderstanding of some sort. "He seems to want to be the kind of person you turn to when something's wrong. I assume the drinking and potions impaired that, even if you didn't see it as such?"
Gryffindors. Adrian sighed again. "I can't even say I'm glad he isn't drinking because then I'm afraid he'd think I disapproved of him when he does." And Adrian didn't, not really. "Just because I don't drink doesn't mean it bothers me when others do… I just can't trust myself to not be like Wallace."
"I think he just doesn't want you to look at him like her?" Narissa shrugged slightly. "I think maybe he wants you to see him as someone you can always count on because...well, he's clearly saying he loves you. That's something pretty intense, it doesn't just sound like friendly love, Adi." Her eyes moved to his face and inspected him. "Do you love him that way too?"
Adrian didn't like labeling things. It went against his nature. Like most things, it was linked to the issues surrounding his birth. He didn't want to try to label all of the complex and contradictory feelings he felt towards Wallace - and sometimes to their mother because of Wallace. He carried it over to his relationship with everyone else too. "I don't compare them at all. Wallace is Wallace." Everything in his life seemed to come down to Wallace.
Adrian frowned slightly as Narissa brought up love - and the intensity Jackson seemed to have. It scared Adrian; he wasn't worth that kind of emotion from anyone. It wouldn't last, and then what would happen? "No, he wants more than friendship," he admitted. "We're past friendship now." They were in some kind of relationship.
Narissa watched him quietly as he spoke. It was rare for her to remain silent but given the topic and the fact that she wanted to keep an eye on his reactions it was necessary. "I know you don't, but maybe he was worried about it? I mean, he really hasn't been the same guy since what happened and he might worry that you'll find someone else to fill that spot?" She knew that she was irreplaceable, or so she thought, but Jackson might not.
"Answer the question, Adi. Do you love him?" Her voice was soft, her eyes fixed on his to see what visual cues she got at the repetition of the question.
"He is one-of-a-kind." The very idea that Adrian could find someone else to fill a Jackson sized hole was ridiculous. "He has every reason to be a mess after losing his sister." Adrian couldn't even imagine the pain of that. "He has a reason to focus on himself… he doesn't have to be there for me." Adrian could - would - take care of himself. He would still be Adrian, same as always.
Another dramatic sigh as his sister persisted. "I've loved him for a while. We're friends. We've been friends." He didn't know if he was capable of the intensity Jackson seemed to have though. And when that intensity of Jackson's burned out, could they go back to the way things used to be?
"Tell him that, maybe?" Narissa looked at him curiously. "He might not know it. Remember he took a huge loss. He's probably feeling really off with that still." Especially if he had stopped burying it with alcohol. That couldn't be easy. "And he clearly wants to focus on you too, Adi. You can take care of yourself, sure, but maybe he wants to be there too?"
An eye roll at the statement. "I mean more than friends. I know you're friends." Because that much was obvious from the two having hung around each other for the better part of a decade.
"I did, and he blew up his pillow." Adrian scowled. It was confusing and annoying. He was starting to feel like nothing he said was said the right way, which was annoying since he was careful with his words in general. He and Jackson had never had this kind of problem before. It was just… easy to be together. Now everything had this feeling of Importance, and Adrian wasn't living up to it. "I wanted to kiss him." Adrian admitted to his sister, but he didn't know if he could love as much as Jackson needed.
"I think he felt like you telling him not to bother with you seemed like... You didn't care as much?" Narissa shrugged slightly at his statement and leaned to pull him into a hug. "I think you just need to..." She pursed her lips slightly. "He cares about you. He hasn't gone anywhere. Just try to enjoy it? I know it's hard, I know you, but... He's been around for almost as long as I have. That means something." Not quite as long, but a very long time.
Jackson wouldn't stay though, not if Adrian kept frustrating him - if Jackson couldn't get what he wanted from Adrian. "I don't know if I can be what he wants." Adrian admitted softly. It made it difficult to just enjoy it. "But I'm trying… for however long it lasts."
"Adi?" Narissa lightly touched his cheek and shook her head. "One day you'll see how truly special you are to so many people." It upset her that he couldn't no matter how often she told him he was valued and loved. "He just seems to want you. To be able to make you happy." Because that seemed to be what was on Jackson's mind. "Just be you. He fell in love with you for a reason."
Adrian frowned. It would not be that easy - it was not that easy. But he knew Narissa was a romantic like that. "If you say so, Sissy." Adrian knew it would be easier to just agree with her.
She accepted his lack of faith in her comment as a matter of course. Instead of pushing it, she simply hugged him again tighter, murmuring "I love you, big brother." An acknowledgment of the accepted tie between them- even if he was sometimes uncertain. Blood didn't make them siblings as much as love did and always would.
"And I you, Sissy." Adrian hugged her back. His relationship with her at least made sense and was relatively uncomplicated. At least as uncomplicated as any of his relationships could be. They were as brother and sister. Plus, well, it was Narissa. There was a purity about her that Adrian could trust.
Narissa smiled and picked up a bit of food they'd laid out, popping it into his mouth. It was hard to find anyone honestly that she didn't care for in some way - Wallace seemed typically the only one she had anything but kind words for. "Things will be what they're meant to, Adi." Because it was true. They couldn't change what was meant to happen, and they did always have each other.