Jackson (jax_london) wrote in carpediem_rp, @ 2015-08-26 11:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: adrian battye, character: jackson london, thread: complete |
Who: Adrian Battye and Jackson London
When: August 25, around 2pm
Where: Smith house
What: Talking
Rating/Warnings: tbd
Status: Closed/Complete
Jackson said he would come by to pick up his flask. He was still a bit drunk and he knew it, but it wasn't quite as bad as it had been when he was talking to Adrian. The night before? Longer? He didn't really know. He said he would go to his friend and so he closed his eyes, apparating to near the house. He walked to the door, his leg still stiff from the immobilization but getting less so as each day passed. A few days and he would be back to normal, he supposed, though he could see that the scarring from last time was still present. He didn't imagine things would get much better on that front.
He reached the door and knocked tentatively, not sure what to say to his friend. What had happened was still flitting about in his head and every time he had even tried to close his eyes and relax - aside from when he took his potion or a good number of drinks - all he could see was his friend touching him and him touching back. It was enough to drive him insane if it kept up. He tapped on the door, shoving his hands in his pockets as he waited for someone to answer.
Adrian had been sitting in the family room waiting and trying not to be obvious because Jackson said he'd be only about twenty minutes, that wasn't a guarantee. Jackson was drunk, clearly. And it was possible that something would distract, or interrupt him… Or that he'd pass out. Adrian hopped off the sofa when the knock on the door came, his heart pounding more than it should have been for what was likely to be a short visit. Jackson would hang out for a bit, get his flask, and then move on to the next house.
Adrian had had a night already to sleep on yesterday's news since the ill-conceived message to Jackson. Adrian hadn't thought, just reached out. But he'd had a night to sleep on things - and face the reminder that his friend was in no place to deal with Adrian's neuroses. The injury and subsequent healing was as likely to have put Jackson back to the accident mentally and emotionally as anything else, if the drunkenness was any indication. He would just… be there. And not bring up or press anything while Jackson was in this state, and make sure he got safely to Gracie or wherever he was planning on crashing next.
Yes, Jackson had been very drunk, that was true. The fact was though that it wasn’t because of the accident and memories for once. And going back to Adrian was not going to help like it usually did, since he was the reason Jackson was so confused. Seeing his friend though, all thoughts of wrong were put aside and he gripped his thighs through his pockets to not pull the other boy directly into a hug.
A momentary pause and he stepped into the house, trying (and failing) to not look Adrian over. He was a lot more sober than he had been the night before- still drunk, yes, but going to this house he rarely allowed himself as much as he would were he going to see R, or just about anyone else. “Hey. How’re you doing?” Because what else could he say?
"Fine," Adrian answered, maintaining his distance emotionally as much as he could. It was easier to focus on Jackson - and not the memories of Jackson in the shower. It had been hard enough not to think on that when Jackson had said he wanted to clean up before coming over. No, Adrian needed to focus on the bleary eyes, and the hint of a slur in his speech. On taking care of Jackson in ways that his friend would allow. "Have you eaten today?" It wasn't always a definite with Jackson - although if he'd been at a place he could clean up… he might've eaten too.
Jackson quietly examined Adrian for a moment longer. It seemed like leaving a flask was a weird reason to call him back when he could always just send it over to R’s house and expect it to get to him. Adrian owned an owl, he knew that much. He pondered the best way to go about bringing that up as the rest of the speaking sunk in. “Ariana wants to feed me up, and Professor D’s making cake.” A slight shrug. It seemed like a lot of people had the same idea when it came to him and he was at least trying to be accommodating for the most part. “You really wrote me just about a flask?” Finally just coming out and saying it, because it seemed a bit unbelievable to him.
Adrian could feel Jackson searching him for.. .something... and turned to lead him back to the sofa since obviously he wasn't hungry and didn't need anything from the kitchen. "It's an easy thing to offer, and you know you don't always remember when you're on a bender." Adrian pointed out logically. There was no need to remind Jackson explicitly that people just wanted to be able to take care of him somehow. He already saw the world as attracted to the broken boy. Adrian and Ari at least had history with Jackson.
The wizard network was still on in the background. It obviously didn't distract Jackson from his questioning of Adrian and his motives for writing him. But looking at Jackson, Adrian wasn't going to take advantage of his friend again. "You're obviously on another bender… so I didn't want to be accused of trying to interfere with that…" Adrian was good at half truths and deflections but that was a little far, so he added, "And with your new injury… it was a way to make sure you were okay without being an ass about it I guess." That might not be the only reason but it was at least completely truthful.
Jackson raised an eyebrow and shrugged slightly, his eyes fixing on Adrian’s as he detailed his reasoning. “So you were worried about me and didn’t think I’d come just to see you.” That honestly hurt a little, as he thought Adrian knew that he would come if he was asked. Even when he was on his worst days, his friend could typically get through to him. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, shaking his head. “I must be really fucked up if you think that of me.”
"I didn't say that," Adrian replied, brows drawing in. fuck this was a mess. He ran his hand through his hair distractedly. "We'd just talked about people being drawn to you to try to save you… what would it say if I… And I didn't tell you that you needed to come by - I offered to send it." Adrian argued two different lines of defense at once, no doubt making it all worse.
Jackson frowned at his friend slightly, focusing on the small cues that something was not right and running his hand through his hair again. “Okay, talk. Because something’s up and it’s more than me being a fucking asshole for once.” His eyes latched onto his friend’s and he fixed him with a look that said he was not giving this whole battle up yet.
Adrian was firm in the decision he'd made. He wasn't going to burden Jackson with his stupid personal issues when the world was what it was. But the easy alternative - distracting him with what happened between them in the shower - was even more fraught with peril. So then he'd stay general. "Sorry… this weekend… the attack. I guess has me unsettled. Mom spent most of the last couple days on site. Dad spent the last couple days putting up more protections…" It had the advantage of being the complete truth this time, if not the only truth.
Jackson nodded at the explanation, moving awkwardly to wrap one arm around Adrian’s shoulder. This was his friend, and if he could be some sort of comfort, he was going to do so, even though it pained him at the moment to touch Adrian and be reminded even slightly of the days before. “I could have stayed.” Because it was important to him to know that his friend was okay, even more so than it was to hide himself from all the things going on in his head.
"You need to be independent, Jackson." Adrian called his friend on that half truth. "And had just spent a full day with me helping you do everything…" It was natural to Adrian therefore that his friend had needed space. Especially given what the 'everything' Adrian had helped Jackson with included. "It's fine. It's who you are." Adrian accepted it. As much as Adrian would prefer Jackson not sleep on the streets, or drink, or self-destruct, it was not his right to try to block Jackson from such either. Adrian could only be there when he came around, just like he did with Wallace.
Jackson frowned as he listened to the words his friend was saying. It stung a little to think that he had given that impression. He had been around Adrian since they were kids, and he had always told himself that he’d be there if the other boy needed him. And then when things got strange for a moment he ran like a coward. Some Gryffindor he was. He ran his hand through his hair again and shook his head. “If my fucking best friend, the one person I can count on through anything, needed me to stay? I would fucking stay. Adrian, you…” He sighed deeply, organizing the words in his head before he continued. “You’re the person, the only person, I trust with everything. I’d hoped that was mutual…”
"I didn't need you to stay. I had a nice night with Dad and Sissy… We needed - I needed - that family feeling after everything… Jackson, we've been friends for as long as we have been because we accept each other. I meant it… I understand why you left. Fuck… I'd probably have left in your place. That's not why I…" Fuck it all. Adrian ran his hand through his hair again. "We're friends Jackson… I can't really say I have any others. It means something."
“Fine. Wanted. If you wanted me to stay, I would have stayed. No matter what.” Jackson looked up for a moment and then back to Adrian’s face, examining him quietly before lightly moving his hand to brush a bit of his hair back into place. It was strange - most people were more used to Jackson being disheveled a little, even before last year, but with Adrian, if he was less than entirely put together something felt wrong in the world, at least in his mind. “It’s because I’m your friend…” A slight frown. “I shouldn’t have run off. It was an asshole move with…” He motioned to Adrian, hoping the other would understand what he meant without directly having to address it.
Adrian accepted - Jackson ran and hid and drank. "It's okay." Adrian meant it. There was some relief that Jackson was here and wasn't afraid to touch him after the shower. Okay so his friend had made sure to clean up before coming over - a subtle hint that he wanted to make sure what happened wasn't repeated - but that Jackson came over at least indicated they could get past it.
Jackson nodded, accepting the answer even as he mentally admonished himself to be a better friend. Adrian wouldn't have behaved this way, even though he claimed he would, and Jackson had to work on himself to make sure he was the friend Adrian deserved even if his friend didn't want anything more than that. He seated himself on the couch, not planning on leaving right this moment. He didn't want to dislike who he was, and right now that was the only thing going through his head, that he'd walked out on his friend during what he knew was a hard time. "So, what'd you guys do for family time?" Because it wasn't something he'd done for a long time.
"Mom was still at the World Cup helping with cleanup, so Dad got delivery and we just sat around watching WWN together." It was nothing fancy and almost sounded lame putting it in words, but Adrian was able to treasure those kinds of small moments with someone. He was doing the same just sitting around with Jackson now. Adrian never knew when or if he'd get another moment like this given what had happened with Jackson. Or with his family given what he was currently keeping from them.
Jackson smiled at Adrian. His friend was oddly easy to please when it came to things like that. He had never completely understood it before but really he'd always felt the same just sitting and talking (or being quiet) with the other boy. "It sounds nice. I'm glad you had that." Entirely sincere. He knew how quickly things like that could be ripped away.
Adrian nodded. He hoped eventually Jackson would get that kind of easy peace again. Although Adrian's peaceful night wasn't entirely a peaceful moment without tension, but in fact one prompted by a traumatic event. Multiple traumas, if Adrian was to be honest: the attack, and the exchange with Tony Stark. Nevermind his concern over Jackson. "You look like you're walking better at least," he observed. He could get around on his own now. Adrian didn't ask about the pain - Jackson he thought had a high tolerance - but was just as likely to be numb from potions or alcohol to have a true sense.
"Yeah, I can mostly walk now. My leg still looks pretty terrible from the outside though." This said with a shrug. He had gotten used to the scarring for the most part and he was pretty sure it would eventually get to the point where he didn't notice anymore, he guessed. "How are you doing other than the family gathering and all?" Because he had to be a better friend and this was a way to start.
"Fine. As well as can be expected under the circumstances." Let Jackson assume what the circumstances were, Adrian knew that the weekend gave enough justification for not being quite right. "It's good you're walking better… do you think you'll at least get to as good as you were before this latest break? And the scarring isn't something I notice often… besides, you're the one who says it adds to your sex appeal - people like to fix the broken."
"Hopefully I will. And I still don't need to be fixed." Except that was a lie. He was going to be doing a lot of fixing in the next few weeks to get himself to where he should be, at least with regards to the friendships he cultivated. "And you don't because you're used to it, I think. It's been there a while." And it wasn't something he imagined Adrian looked at often, which he assumed was part of it.
"There are other things to see when someone looks at you." Adrian pointed out with a shrug. "And you don't need to be fixed either." Adrian accepted Jackson as he was. He wanted his friend to heal, but the kinds of trauma he'd been through never go away and could never be truly fixed. "Although you will hopefully find some kind of peace." Jackson deserved it, but Adrian knew that was a hard word with his friend's guilt. He was not the sort to push his friend on it. And knew for now the peace Jackson found was in the bottle. "We should get your flask… before we get off on other things and forget."
Jackson shook his head, letting out a soft snort of laughter. "Just because you see them and all that doesn't mean anyone else does." He assumed it had to be the dozen years (nearly) that they'd known each other. Really when he considered it, Adrian was the one person that knew him through pretty much anything and had stuck around willingly, without making assumptions. Jackson shook his head at the mention of the flask. "It's not that important. I'll be back after I go see Gracie. I can get it whenever."
Adrian didn't analyze why he felt relieved Jackson was talking about coming back after visiting the Hufflepuff. And immediately deflected even his own thoughts away from it. "Didn't Professor D want to make sure you were intact as well?" As much as he might want to spend more time with his friend, neither did he want Jackson to feel tied down either. Part of who he was was the independence he exhibited. "She's probably in full fuss-mode." Adrian cautioned.
"Yeah, and Ari. I'll come back with plenty of food for dinner, and chocolate cake for you." A small grin and he winked teasingly. "I know you just can't resist that. So the sooner I head out the sooner you get your cake I guess."
"Ari likes to be able to fuss over others." Rather than have others fuss over her. Adrian tried not to at least not overtly with her, just like with Jackson. He knew she, like Jackson, was capable despite the health issues. Or in Jackson's case, the need to wander. "Sure, yea. I should be here whenever you swing back. I'll probably be at the gallery the next few days though and through the weekend at least part of the time. Mom was gonna wrap up her volunteer work today."
"I can come out a day or two this week before we go back to school. Am I good ditching this here?" He tapped his bag, which contained most of his possessions (including a new pair of jeans he'd snagged before heading to Brinley's). It would save him the hassle of remembering it each time he left a place he was visiting since he knew he'd be back here in the end.
"It's fine. The magical protections probably recognize you anyway." Adrian teased, although it was entirely likely his parents really had done that kind of thing with Jackson. "Have fun." and while Jackson was making the rounds, Adrian could… well figure out what he wanted to do with the last week before school.