Jackson (jax_london) wrote in carpediem_rp, @ 2015-08-23 00:00:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: adrian battye, character: jackson london, thread: complete |
Who: Jackson and Adrian
Where: Tent City at Quidditch Match, then Smith Household
When: Sunday 23 August, after the attack
Warning: Sex in later parts, squicky injury stuff. Ow!
Status: Closed, Complete
Jackson couldn’t focus on anything properly right now. He had tried to run when he heard the screaming, but with the way his leg had been damaged, his ability to escape danger was severely limited. He remembered falling, yes, and the crack that was accompanied by almost nauseating pain when someone (more than one someone?) trampled over him. He had managed to get out of the path, to the side, and he knew his hands were undamaged. They had to be. He had shielded them with his body to keep his livelihood viable. His leg? That was a different story and he knew it. It had been a problem for a while, and now he imagined it would be even more so.
He was finally able to manipulate himself to a sitting position and he looked around. Adrian and everyone else, where were they? Had they gotten someplace safe? He hoped they had, though the thought was again quickly eclipsed by the throbbing, screaming pain in his leg.
Adrian lost track of everyone but his sister when the chaos broke out. Narissa had charged out to defend the world or something so Adrian had had no choice but to follow, irritated since their parents had talked to them about what to do in emergencies. The party though meant there had been more around and the confusion when things started happening was greater as a result.
Molly and Jackson completely disappeared in the crowd - Jackson had fallen behind the group early. After the attack ended - and with dad keeping track of Narissa - Adrian began searching for his friends. With trampled, collapsed tents everywhere, it was hard. Molly was still near the family tent, which was being put back up by his mom to serve as a meeting point for everyone, but Jackson must have gotten caught up in the crush of the crowd. Finding him became Adrian's priority and he began running around the camp when no one could remember seeing him.
Adrian was getting more anxious the longer it took. There had been injuries. People were saying the Deatheaters had killed some people in the attack. He felt his heart jump into his throat when he finally saw what looked like his friend's crumpled form and ran the distance between them. "Jackson," he called out hoping against hope his friend was okay. Seeing him on the ground amid the debris terrified him.
Jackson wasn't really sure how long he had been on the ground, but when he heard Adrian yelling his name he turned abruptly, muffling a choked pained sound back before he waved, trying to signal that he was alive at least. Okay may have been a different story, as he was well aware he could not get up and walk or anything of that sort, but at least he had been found.
When Adrian got closer Jackson made an attempt to get up, even with his injury. He didn't want his friend to worry- though he doubted the gasp and the fact that he almost immediately collapsed would not help in that. A slightly pained look was offered to his friend and he murmured, "I fell." As though this was not abundantly obvious by his current positioning on the ground.
He'd been ecstatic when Jackson waved back - he was okay - and then panicked when Jackson collapsed trying to get up. Adrian tried to catch his friend as he fell back - but he had been too far away when Jackson tried to rise. He knelt by his friend instead, eyes wide and for a brief moment revealing his fears as he looked Jackson over trying to work out the extent of his injuries. "Where are you hurt?" He didn't need to ask what happened, really since, as Jackson teased, he'd fallen. In the crowd and the chaos Adrian was just glad that Jackson was conscious and looked intact at least.
"Stupid leg..." This muttered under his breath as Adrian knelt by him. "Can't quite run with it anymore I guess." He knew it had been uncomfortable since the accident and the surgery, but then he'd never tried to run since. He did the required therapy while he'd been home and had at least kept on walking on it to rebuild the strength, but the bone had been damaged pretty badly, so this was probably to be expected. His eyes moved to Adrian, and a flash of worry crossed his face, wiping the pain for a moment as he tried to reassure himself that his friend at least was unharmed.
Jackson's leg: It was the physical scar left from Jackson's accident, but Adrian had always been far more aware of the emotional scars his friend still suffered. Adrian barely saw the limp when his friend walked, although it was there, he just didn't pay attention to it most of the time except to keep track of how tired or drunk his friend was based on how well or badly he was walking at the time. Now he was focused on it. He knew that Jackson used humour to deflect but he found it difficult to find the teasing reply, murmuring only, "You wouldn't be here if you had been able to."
Jackson frowned as he processed how dirtied up his friend was and reached out, trying to wipe a smudge from his face. It just didn't seem right to see any sort of dirt or dust or anything on that face. "You? Got safe?" Because it was a concern obviously, he had watched his friend run off after his sister and he was clearly worried, though the slight movement jostled his leg and he did have to bite back a curse as another jolt of pain hit him.
Adrian shrugged off Jackson's concern. He was fine, Narissa was safe. But the curse told Adrian that Jackson wasn't. "I'm fine. You're not. I don't know if I'll be able to find a healer or a medic…" He looked around. He didn't want to leave Jackson to look, and didn't know if he'd be able to find Jackson again if he left him. The area was unrecognizable now. "We need to get you to a healer somehow."
Jackson knew his friend was right, though he wasn't all that certain as to how they could do it. A few things ran through his head before one caught and he motioned to his leg. "Can you conjure a splint? Maybe get me to the tent?" Because he was pretty sure between a splint and leaning on his friend, even if it messed things up more in the short term, they could get somewhere safer and more accessible to the healers.
Adrian nodded, looking for something he could transfigure into some kind of brace to help stabilize Jackson's leg. "Mom was putting the tent back up as a place for everyone to report back to." Adrian admitted. Unwilling to leave his friend's side even to scavenge materials, he summoned possible items to him, considering and discarding a couple before transfiguring a couple pieces into a brace. He hoped he had done well enough that Jackson at least wouldn't get more hurt moving. He didn't want to be the reason Jackson suffered any more pain. "Are you ready to try it?"
Jackson nodded, looking at the brace and then using Adrian to get to his feet. It hurt, but at least the materials he used were enough to let him move without entirely crumbling back to the ground. He didn't want to lean on Adrian too much, he knew he was a good deal taller and heavier than his friend and he didn't want to cause any damage while they were getting back. He couldn't avoid a little bit of leaning though as they began their trek.
Adrian for his part didn't care that Jackson was leaning on him. He wanted to take as much weight as possible. Although not as tall as Jackson, his thin frame was deceptive as to his strength. Looking around he took a moment to orient himself to where the tent was. He didn't want to prolong the journey more than necessary, and yet it already felt like it was too far. The chaos and crowds had done much to separate everyone.
Jackson was in pain, but he was also doing his best to not show this fact. He didn't want Adrian to worry more than he had been. He'd already caused his friend enough trouble. He sighed and started walking with him as he led back to the tent, slow and careful, but at least moving.
Adrian wasn't an idiot, and was used to watching Jackson for the smallest cues about how he was doing. It was something he took advantage of when they were playing Quidditch. He typically passed shots on Jackson's damaged side, knowing that the bludger was going to take more out of him the longer the game went on, granting a miniscule advantage. Now though, he used that same quiet analysis to monitor how well Jackson was holding up as they picked their way through the aftermath to the tent. He didn't like the small signs from his friend; Jackson was hurt badly. Not life threatening, but painfully.
Jackson was aware that Adrian knew he was hurt. That didn't mean his pride and his desire to not unsettle his friend would let him show the degree of it. He had elected to stop talking for now. It was too much to focus on both conversation and getting where they had to go. He had a goal and he would get there. It just seemed to be an endless walk right now and it was getting worse the more they moved. He just had to remember that once they were there he had a soft bed that he could lay on and he could rest then. Now was not the time.
Normally when the pair of them were quiet it was simple companionable silence. Now though there was a marked tension in the moment. Adrian wasn't talking as much because he knew that Jackson was likely using his energy just to keep moving forward. The odd aftermath of a battle littered around them made trivial conversation feel inappropriate. Still it made the trip back to the tent feel longer.
Finally the tent was there. Adrian's Mom was busy triaging someone not part of the family, so Adrian did little more than call to her "I have Jackson… we'll need a medic..." before leading his friend into the tent and towards one of the bedrooms. They needed to get him off his leg before they made it worse.
Jackson let out a soft noise as they got to the tent that could probably be interpreted as gratitude. The sound was followed by a sigh when he was finally settled in the bed he'd been given for the weekend and he looked over at Adrian. "Sorry," he murmured quietly, clearly looking a bit embarrassed. He was an of age wizard who couldn't think to hide himself - or get himself back to a tent with a pointing spell and his own magic to make a splint. Things like that didn't often connect as well with him because of his muggle upbringing but he should have at least thought of some way to contact his friend, if nothing else.
"What are you apologizing for," Adrian replied. He was still worried at how much the walk had taken out of his friend. He didn't expect someone hurt to heal themselves, and he had proof in their trip that Jackson was unable to walk without significant help. He looked around. "I don't think we can give you anything for the pain, in case there is other damage." At least not a pain potion. If Jackson had his flask, it might not be a bad idea. "It'll probably be a while though."
"Last time I was unconscious," He muttered, shaking his head a bit. "Think we could find a nice heavy branch to make that happen again?" A hint of sarcasm in his tone, but he was trying to put Adrian at ease as much as he could. He closed his eyes for a moment and then looked over at Adrian thoughtfully. "You get to distract me now, I think. Unless you're going to look for that branch."
"You're less hurt than if you're conscious… probably a good sign overall." Adrian wasn't entirely confident in that but it had to be true. The accident had killed his sister and Adrian knew that Jackson had been hospitalized too. "Distract you… You're in trouble then, most likely." Adrian wasn't exactly 'distracting', although just talking should hopefully help.
Jackson shrugged. "It's just my leg. People don't seem to notice you when you're on the ground." His voice was quiet. He knew it could have been a lot worse honestly if he wasn't able to scoot himself slightly out of the way. "Yeah, I know. Keep talking." His eyes met Adrian's almost pleadingly, knowing that conversation would at least help a little bit.
"Relying on me to distract you." Adrian was rattled by everything that had happened. "That's what I mean by you being in trouble." He was disturbed though at the idea that Jackson had been on the ground in the crowd. Even knowing his was safe now, Adrian was scared for Jackson and what had happened to him. He searched for something to talk to Jackson about to distract him. "You didn't hear about the lunch." He said searching for something. "Do you want to know how that went?"
Jackson nodded slightly at the suggestion. That would be something and he was relatively certain too that Adrian would want to rehash what had happened. He was the best sounding board for that even with the whole distracted thing. He laid his head back against the pillow and kept his eyes on Adrian. He was something to focus on and keep his mind off the fact that his leg was still throbbing dully. "Yes. Tell me about the lunch, what happened?"
Adrian settled on the edge of the bed. "Everything I expected. The guy was good looking, rich and boring. He wants to get to know me better since he expects to be part of Wallace's life, and hopes I'll consider him a father figure eventually." Adrian's tone was flat. "That last part after they were into their second bottle of… I think it was scotch. I'm considering asking Bailey to compute the chance they are still together by Christmas."
Jackson nodded at the explanation and looked at Adrian for a moment. "Your chocolate is still in my bag." An odd thought but one that still clicked in his mind. "You can have some now." Because he knew the treat would make his friend feel at least a little bit better, which in turn would reassure Jackson.
"Is that your way of hinting that you want me to find your bag for you?" Adrian asked, trying to tease his friend. He was good at bland smalltalk, but not necessarily at faking it around those who knew him best if Jackson and Narissa's reactions to him were anything to go by. "You just need to ask, Jackson if you want something from it." He got up, looking for where it had gotten tossed to during the tent collapse and reassembly.
"It's my way of hinting that you look about as good as I feel and so chocolate might be a welcome addition to your life." His voice was soft but oddly firm for him, as though if Adrian refused he would have to produce the chocolate on his own somehow.
'Well the world did just kind of go back to a dark time," Adrian admitted. He was obeying though, even if it took a while to find the bag. Opening it to retrieve the chocolate that Jackson promised. "You have a bottle of something in here, do you want that too?"
"What was all that?" He didn't want to ask but he figured if he had to know now was the time to do that. A thoughtful pause when Adrian offered his flask and he ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "If something is really fucked up and they have to open anything bleeding out isn't on my list of things to do today." Plus if there was any sort of internal bleeding drinking would make it worse, he knew that much. Not that he didn't want a drink badly but he knew too that there was a time and a place and this was neither.
Adrian sighed as he sat back on the bed beside Jackson. He nodded when Jackson declined the flask - and why. "It is part of why I'm not leaving you alone." Adrian admitted. If something deeper had happened, or he suddenly slipped and lost consciousness… Adrian didn't want to think about Jackson being more injured than what was already visible. It was easier to talk about what happened than to think about Jackson hurt.
Adrian sighed deeply, pausing to break off some chocolate for himself and Jackson before beginning. "That was Deatheaters. The symbol in the sky was the Dark Mark. They cast it as a signature of their crimes and to inspire terror. Mom and Dad were still in school during her reign. It was… a dark time. I just hope that is not a return to those times." Still Adrian would not be surprised if he learned that people had died tomorrow.
"Also because you totally want my company constantly. You know I'm your favorite person." A faint teasing still in his voice even with the strained tone that came from the pain of his leg. "Eat your chocolate." Because he was still worried too about his friend, especially when he started his story.
A slight nod at the explanation. He had heard a bit about what Adrian was saying, usually paired with insulting names based on his blood status, but he had ignored it. What people thought of him had never mattered that much to him. "Do you think..." A pause and he ran a hand through his hair. "I don't want to think about things like that. Let's talk about something good."
"I don't know what to think." Adrian admitted. He shook his head. If it was… everyone was at risk. Jackson requested they talk about something good, and Adrian racked his head for an idea a topic. "Right something good. You've gotten to see me less than perfect?"
Jackson nodded at the serious tone of the first statement. He didn't know what exactly had happened fully but it was clearly bad and worrisome to Adrian. His eyes flicked to the other boy for a second and he shook his head. "Not likely." A pause as he registered what he had said and he shook his head. "I mean, you're my best friend. You look fine. You always look fine."
It was a safe topic. Joking about his looks. It was a neutral one, particularly since they were long time friends at this point. "Fine. If I wasn't your friend would I rate that high?" Adrian didn't completely have a sense of how he compared to others. He knew what he was attracted to, but taste wasn't universal. Of course Jackson had not had a romantic relationship since the accident. Hookups happened for various reasons that did not always reflect taste. Adrian had been single since the beginning of the summer, which was its own situation.
Jackson looked at him, pensive for a moment. It was hard to remove himself from looking at Adrian as his friend but he finally shrugged. "Yeah. I think you would. The windswept thing is kind of hot." And again, the same pause before he continued, a bit more quickly, "I mean, obviously if you weren't my friend it'd be hot. On you it's just different." He reached out again to wipe a smudge from Adrian's cheek, shrugging. "It's not really you, but then I am used to you being put together all the time."
Adrian laughed a little at Jackson's back and forth on the issue. It was the only appropriate reaction. "I probably shouldn't tease you; you obviously took some kind of hit to the head." Adrian leaned in to look for signs of such trauma. Their earlier discussion of possible additional injuries had settled with Adrian and made him nervous. "After the medic comes, we can take turns hitting the shower. You look like you slept out on the street for the last week or two, and I know you were at R's and here last night."
"Wow, just keep the compliments coming." Jackson raised an eyebrow, shaking his head at his friend. He would have to wash up, yes, but right now that was an impossibility. If Adrian wanted to though and he was in the way of that he sort of felt bad. "If you want to shower now you can. I've just messed up my leg. Nothing I can't handle, promise."
"I said I'm not leaving your side until the medic gets here." Adrian's tone brooked no discussion. He met Jackson's gaze evenly so he knew how serious Adrian was. "Besides, I've seen you after a couple weeks on a bender. If you can manage weeks in that shape, I can manage an hour or two. I'm not that much of priss." Adrian managed a bit of a grin by the end, trying to lighten things again.
Jackson nodded, appreciating his friend's willingness to sit by him. Adrian was one of the few people he knew would do things like this. His eyes met Adrian's and he offered a half smile. "Thank you. Seriously. You don't have to." He patted his friend's arm, unable to lean up enough to hug him without pain.
"I do." Adrian could be remarkably stubborn. "Seriously." But despite arguing with Jackson, Adrian did cover his friend's hand with his own, acknowledging the contact and the significance of it. "Once the medic has his way with you will be a different story." Adrian was worried though, having seen what it was like out there, about how long that would take. "I would try just going to the hospital, but I don't know if I want to risk the transport."
"I know it's not quite the same but doesn't your sister study things like this?" Jackson didn't know much when it came to what Narissa did outside of school but she was always saying she wanted to be a healer. That had to be something they could use to at least check him over and get a basic analysis. Basic healing spells would put his leg right at least, he hoped.
"She wants to," Adrian agreed. "She's out rescuing people though." And Adrian was worried that Jackson's injury was beyond a simple healing spell. Especially since Sissy hadn't actually started studying healing full-time yet. "She decided to be a bad-ass when everything went down." Adrian was proud and terrified of that at the same time.
"She's also not a medic yet." Adrian's mom said from the doorway. "This is medic Morris. I'll let you boys take it from here. I'm coordinating to help people find their loved ones."
Jackson laughed weakly at the comment about Narissa, shaking his head. "Decided to take them on by herself and probably win?" Because he had a feeling any threat to her brother would be swiftly eliminated based on how he had seen the two interact.
When Adrian's mom brought in the healer Jackson forced himself into a seated position, not wanting this to take too long. "It's just my leg, really. Shouldn't take long to reset the bone, and you can go back to helping other people." Because taking too much time from others that could be more badly injured was not on his to do list.
"But you should check him over in general. There might be some head damage, or internal damage… He got knocked down in the melee." Adrian pointed out. Adrian got up to give Jackson and the medic more space.
"I can do my job." The medic pointed out, already in the midst of his examination. After a moment, the medic removed the splint and focused his efforts on Jackson's leg. He cut off the pant leg at the top of Jackson's thigh to look at the leg and the bones.
Jackson shook his head slightly at Adrian and looked to the healer who was checking him over. "Do what you have to then. I apologise for the mess down there, I broke it pretty badly last year." He figured there was not much need to explain beyond that though.
While he was being examined he looked over at Adrian, sticking out his tongue at his friend, and then crossing his eyes. He was making a valiant attempt to ignore the poking and prodding, and make his friend laugh at the same time. It was obvious he was still in pain but he was trying to not show too much of it.
Adrian didn't buy it. He saw the subtle grimaces and the fleeting pain. But he admired Jackson's attempt and rewarded it with smile. It was hard not to focus all of his attention at what the healer was doing. But Jackson obviously needed to be distracted from what the healer was doing. "Would be awful it if your face petrified that way, Jackson. Then what would all your lovers think?"
The medic ignored the boys until it was necessary to warn Jackson, "This will hurt. Brace yourself," before the healer began resetting the bones - both the new breaks and the old ones that had never healed properly in one long, drawn out spell. Adrian took Jackson's hand.
A second, nonpainful spell immobilized Jackson's leg in a rigid shell. The healer verified that the leg was properly set, and then fished out a series of potions vials, explaining to both young men. "Pain potion, single sips as needed. Bone setting potions. Entire vial now, and every twelve hours for the next three days. The immobilization should wear off by then… And no, his face won't petrify that way, and I see no evidence of a major head injury." Adrian watched the medic smirk at them and then leave, assuming that Jackson would take the potions as instructed.
While both teens were concerned about the other, all of that went out of Jackson's mind at the spell to repair the bones in his leg. He appreciated Adrian's hand being there though he didn't squeeze as hard as he wanted - he didn't want the healer to be fixing up his friend next. He couldn't help the exclaimed "Fuck!" At the spell, and he fell back against the pillows, squeezing his eyes shut until it was done. It throbbed still, but at least the stabbing was over.
He tried to focus on the instructions, on the healer, on what he should be doing. It was a bit much and part of him hoped his friend had caught the directions better than he had. He got at least the part of what he had to take now, and he drank down the bone setting potion before looking at the pain potion. His tolerance was high, so he had to hope this would tamp down the discomfort even if it didn't take it away. He took a single sip, as instructed, and then looked at Adrian. "Thanks..."
Adrian had gone pale watching the obvious pain on Jackson's face. His color still hadn't recovered, even knowing that the worst was over. There was no need to ask if Jackson was okay though it was still on his tongue to do so. Instead he swallowed and answered. "You're welcome, although I just stood here. What do you need now? Water? Something to eat? Do you want to try to clean up? Sleep?" The options tumbled out in rapid succession.
Jackson nodded slightly. "And you still didn't have to." His voice was strained as he spoke, though even as he got through the statement his words started to slur off slightly. Whatever the healer had given him was strong, that was for sure. "Just sit here a while? Don't want you to go anywhere..."
"It would take a Deatheater to make me move." Adrian reassured him. And even then it was questionable if it would work. Adrian settled on the bed next to Jackson once again. Despite his friend not asking for anything else, Adrian summoned a water bottle from the other side of the room, and a washing cloth to wipe some of the dirt from Jackson's face and arms. A little cleanness would help him feel better. It helped Adrian. "That must be a good potion to get you slurring that fast." He mused, starting to relax the smallest bit now that he knew that Jackson was healed - or at least healing.
Jackson watched quietly as Adrian started washing down his arms with a water bottle, blinking slowly. A few times his eyes seemed to have shut for the evening but they always reopened to watch his friend. After a few minutes he reached to catch Adrian's hand, pulling him closer and catching his lips with his own, almost gently.
It looked as though Jackson would be asleep before Adrian had even finished, but every time it seemed as though he was gone, the blue eyes opened again. He smiled and willingly moved closer when his friend pulled him closer, although the kiss was unexpected. Soft, gentle, and sleepy. Adrian responded gently before his brain caught up with what he was doing. Fuck. He lifted his head slightly, ending the contact between their mouths. "Good night, Jackson." He said, feigning a casual response. Jackson wouldn't even remember this in five minutes, but Adrian wasn't going to break his promise to stay either just because Jackson was stoned on the potion.
Shortly after Adrian pulled back, as though it took a moment to process, Jackson pouted a tiny bit at the withdrawal of those lips. His eyes drifted closed again though and he relaxed into sleep, his hand still clutching onto Adrian's almost unconsciously.
Adrian sighed softly. He brushed Jackson's hair from his face and finished washing him up as best he could one-handed. He could understand why Jackson had such an easy time finding romantic partners, honestly. He was attractive, a caring friend and accomplished even though the alcohol and drugs. And he a good kisser even completely stoned and falling a asleep. That didn't hurt, even if at the moment, his friend was.
[-------------Later that morning-----------]
Jackson was sore, and he could remember the pain had been worse. Right now though he was crawling mentally toward awareness, and he felt skin against his. He blinked his eyes open, confused and curious as small flashes of the night registered in his head. He had fallen, yes. Okay. And he remembered Adrian bringing him to the tent and sharp pain from the healer. Slightly foggier was the after, though from the look of him he had gotten cleaned up somehow. He glanced at Adrian, who had clearly not. And suddenly a flash of before falling asleep came to him and he murmured "shit" to himself, looking over at his friend. But... Had he stayed the whole time?
Jackson reached out and brushed a bit of hair from Adrian's forehead, looking him over before shifting slightly in the bed, doing his level best to get his friend more comfortable - though he doubted he was having much success.
Adrian opened his eyes after Jackson's movement. He vaguely registered a softly murmured curse from his friend, and his brows drew in. "What do you need? Pain potion is right there." Adrian sat up and grimaced slightly as he realized how stiff he was. It was his price for the drama of the previous night, followed by sleeping sitting up on the floor next to Jackson. He didn't want to go far for when Jackson woke up, but hadn't wanted to share the bed for fear of hurting Jackson's healing leg.
Jackson nodded. He knew where the potion was vaguely and he didn't want that at the moment anyway. His eyes moved to Adrian and raised an eyebrow. "You slept on the floor." A simple statement, followed by a slight brush of his fingers over a lingering smudge. "And you didn't wash up." An attempt at a teasing look and he smiled faintly. "Who are you and what did you do to my friend?"
"You told me not to go anywhere," Adrian answered simply, rubbing at his face as he tried to finish waking up. "So I didn't." It seemed like what a good friend would do and a fairly simple reason. "I'll clean up when we go home, I guess." The implicit assumption was they would head back to the house as soon as Jackson was ready to move.
Jackson looked a bit surprised at the response but nodded slightly again. "Um. Sorry. For last night. This morning. Whatever." His eyes darted away, knowing that Adrian had been the one to pull away and so an apology was in order since it was his mistake. He honestly wasn't sure where it came from, though part of the back of his mind pointed out that he'd liked it.
Adrian wasn't sure what Jackson was apologizing for, or if he even remembered what happened after the pain potion. Adrian doubted it, so Jackson had to be referring to getting injured again. Adrian knew it was the potion anyway. Adrian remembered it clearly, and probably would for a while. Still, with Jackson healing, he didn't want to do anything that might hurt or embarrass his friend. "You tried to apologize last night… you have nothing to apologize for. I'm just glad you are safe… that the medic could heal your leg."
"I kissed you. Sorry." A flicker of shame and he shrugged a tiny bit. "You didn't want it. I shouldn't have." He was embarrassed and while he remembered that it had been nice, he didn't really see much sense in focusing on it. Adrian didn't want him that way and so he would just pretend it wasn't anything even though part of him wondered if it could be.
Adrian was obviously surprised that Jackson remembered - and that he brought it up. Adrian looked down at his hands and shook his head. "I said you have nothing to apologize for." Adrian repeated. He ran his hand through his hair before looking back to Jackson. He didn't want to talk about this but he wasn't going to hurt Jackson more by letting him think it was something he needed to feel badly about. "I know it was the potions and the pain. You weren't yourself, and I didn't want to take advantage of you. We've been friends too long for that." Adrian assured Jackson.
Jackson nodded. He didn't need to say more than that. Clearly what he said was true. Adrian had not wanted the kiss and so it could not happen again. He sighed and shifted on the bed to make more room. "I'm up for a bit so if you want to go wash up now, or rest a bit longer you can. I'll be okay, good as new." Or something like that.
Adrian licked his lip and shook his head. "I'm awake. I'll be fine until we get home." He ran his hand through his hair again and tried to find the banter. "For what it's worth, I can understand better now why your drunken benders don't dampen your sex appeal."
Jackson quirked a brow slightly at his friend's joke, shaking his head teasingly, though he indulged in a rare moment of honesty. "People think I'm some thing to be fixed. Broken is sexy or something. They don't want me, not really." He sort of knew that deep down, and he offered a slightly sad smile at Adrian.
Jackson had every reason to be broken. Adrian did think that Jackson needed to heal, but knew Jackson had to do it, and that it would come with time.. but it would be a long time. "Some of them might think the broken is sexy, but you are just sexy period, broken or not." It was why Adrian had ended the kiss though - the knowledge that Jackson hadn't been himself. Adrian didn't want to be like the people who used Jackson to try to make themselves feel better about themselves pretending to try to make him feel better.
"Fuck..." Again muttered under his breath and he shook his head slightly. He didn't want to hear things like that. Not from Adrian right after he wrote off the idea of kissing him ever again. His eyes moved to look Adrian over and he reached to brush his fingers over his cheek. "You shouldn't say things like that. Especially looking like you do. I mean... I'm not bad but sexy? That's not me. That's you."
Adrian frowned at the curse, reaching for the pain potion, worried what the curse meant. "What's wrong?" But then Jackson was touching his face and Adrian was more confused. He didn't pull away or stop Jackson from what he was doing, but he worried that Jackson was still stoned. "Sorry… I…" It was his turn to apologize obviously for making Jackson feel the need to curse. "I'm creepy looking half the time," Adrian argued trying again to diffuse the moment and make Jackson feel better.
Jackson shook his head lightly. "Adrian, you know me well enough to know that I'll take that potion as soon as I need it." Because it was true. Unlike his friend, he was not at all averse to pain potions. He lay back on the pillows again and looked at his friend with a smile. "And I thought sometimes creepy was in the Slytherin contract or something."
"Sorry. I'm not used to having watched Medics work on you." And Adrian didn't want Jackson to be in pain as much as he could help. "Usually your pain is more chronic than acute." He relaxed a little as his friend settled back against the pillows. Adrian picked up the lighter thread of conversation. "Probably why I was sorted there I guess."
"Well, they patched me up well enough and my leg isn't falling off yet, so I think we're okay." His eyes moved to meet Adrian's and he shrugged one shoulder a bit. "I've done this before, remember. I'm used to it, and it's going to heal faster this time." He patted the bed by his side. "Come up. Sit with me. Get comfy. Probably won't be able to leave for a bit longer."
Adrian shook his head in response to Jackson's assumption about how long they were likely to be here. "Mom came in while you were passed out. Everyone from our group is accounted for and most are home now. The transport back to the house is set up when you think you're strong enough for the jostling of the spells. But we didn't want to disturb you. I think we're the last ones though. After we're home, then Mom will take down the tent and come home too Or continue coordinating the missing network, for the rest of the day more likely."
Jackson nodded. "Let's head back then. I don't want to hold up things. I'll be fine." He wasn't wanting to hold things back when he could manage to get by. Yes. It would hurt and it would be annoying for a while but he would get through it.
Adrian looked Jackson over carefully for confirmation he was strong enough to move. "There is no rush." He assured his friend, not convinced he was ready for the short walk to one of the cleared areas where Apparition was being allowed. Jackson hadn't even shown he could stand yet.
“I’d rather get out of here.” Jackson pushed himself up to sitting fully again, focusing diligently on getting out of the bed. It was awkward, and it was very clear he was only putting weight on his one leg, but he was soon standing, after a fashion, and he looked at Adrian. “I’m okay. We can go and be done with this. Your couch is more comfortable anyway.”
"You are taking my bed," Adrian's statement was fact. There would be no argument about the issue. Adrian wrapped Jackson's arm around her shoulders as they had done last night and his own arm around Jackson's midsection to help him walk - pausing in the main room of the tent long enough to check in with his Mom who gave Jackson her own inspection before telling the boys she'd be home to drop off the tent and luggage in a couple hours. Adrian kissed her cheek - and Jackson got one from his mother as well - before heading to the closest controlled Apparition point. "You sure you're ready?" He asked knowing his Gryffindor friend would likely just grit through it anyway.
Jackson quirked a brow and offered a sly smirk over to his friend, casting back to their earlier jokes. “With you in it?” Because it just had to be said. It was too open to not jump on. He allowed Adrian to help him through the tent and eventually out, and he nodded when he asked if he was sure he was ready. “Let’s do this. I’d much rather not be camping anymore.” Because honestly it had been how he had spent most of his summer and he liked being at Adrian’s house. It was welcoming and even if he didn’t think he deserved it? It felt nice to be wanted.
Adrian had not replied to Jackson's quip about sharing the bed. He would wait and see how well Jackson was doing when they arrived and if he needed monitoring or not. When Jackson confirmed he was ready to transport, Adrian nodded, and Apparated both of them to his house. He stood on the landing area to check how Jackson had fared as they physically ripped themselves between locations.
Jackson was a bit pale on their landing, his lips forming a tense line as he tried to collect himself. His landing had been a bit off and the pressure on his leg was not very comfortable, but he would handle it. He was going to get inside and hopefully stand long enough to get clean before he passed out again on Adrian’s bed. Perhaps with his friend there, and hopefully with him clean and comfortable too.
Adrian was mostly concerned with getting Jackson into bed. He didn't like his friend's color. "Almost there." He was just glad the bungalow was single-story. He couldn't imagine getting Jackson up stairs in this state. There would be relief on Adrian's part when they got to his room and Jackson could sit or lie down again.
Jackson nodded faintly, his weight resting a bit more on Adrian than he would have liked, but he could not help it. “I really need a shower. And that potion. And a lot of sleep. Probably in that order.” Because he was more than aware that once the potion hit his system, he would again be down for the count. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it most certainly helped a great deal.
"We can take a few minutes so you can catch your breath a little." Adrian reassured his friend. "Sit for a couple minutes at least. Then we can figure out the shower." Because Adrian was only seeing one way to make that happen the way Jackson was feeling and walking and that meant they were both getting wet.
Jackson nodded again weakly and sat down on the first chair in the house they came to, his eyes closing for a moment and his expression still tense and uncomfortable. He sighed and leaned his head back against the chair, opening his eyes after at least a full minute to look at Adrian. “I don’t think there are enough words to tell you what…” He tensed again for just a second and sighed again. “What your friendship means to me.”
Adrian watched as Jackson collapsed into the chair the tension obvious in his friend as he closed his eyes. Adrian was tense too, searching his friend's eyes for a cue as to what he needed, his concern obvious. Jackson's words… they had been friends for years but didn't often express their connection verbally. It made sense that Jackson was feeling the emotional after-effects of a life-threatening experience. Adrian squeezed Jackson's shoulder, using the physical connection to reinforce the connection. "It goes both ways."
Jackson smiled slightly and nodded. He knew that his friend cared for him deeply. "I need to wash up. And sleep." A problem with his showering though was how he would stay stable and wash up at the same time. He could only think of one way and honestly he was more than a little embarrassed to consider it.
Adrian nodded. He knew Jackson wasn't mobile enough yet to do it on his own - not the way the healer had immobilized his leg. At a minimum, Adrian was going to have to help him undress and get into the shower. But it would be hard to get a chair in the tub. "We can get undressed in my room where there is more space, and then deal with the shower. Sissy won't care if she sees us naked going into our bathroom."
Jackson wasn't thinking of the logistics of Narissa running into them. He didn't care much. He agreed with a nod and frowned a tiny bit as he pondered how to get up. A few second more and he muttered "I think I need some help." He hated saying it but it had to be what happened. He wouldn't be able to get up by himself.
Almost as soon as the words were out, Adrian was wrapping his arm around Jackson again, helping him to his feet and from there down the hall to Adrian's room. Narissa's bedroom door was closed, so he didn't bother closing his behind them. It was only a couple steps to the bathroom he shared with his sister, and their hallway and bedrooms were private from the rest of the house. He stopped in front of his bed so Jackson could lean against it while they undressed. Knowing his friend wasn't going to be able to bend down, he knelt in front of Jackson to remove his shoes and socks for him.
Jackson allowed him to take his shoes and socks while he undid the button and zipper on his (now-ruined) jeans. It was unfortunate but he'd have to get another pair soon, because he didn't have all too many honestly. He pushed them down carefully, trying to get them down as far as he could without help.
Still kneeling in front of Jackson, Adrian helped get the ruined pants off - and waited for the boxers to follow. He was generally keeping his eyes at or below Jackson's knees, despite being eye level with his waist so as not to make his friend feel uncomfortable or vulnerable, though he was also trying not to be obvious about it either.
Jackson had to focus on not reacting to the touches. He had been with a good enough number of people and usually when someone was kneeling in front of him, it was for a very different reason. He closed his eyes as he pushed his boxers down so Adrian could help with them, trying to get his shirt off right after so that he was at least slightly distracted from the boy before him now.
Adrian rose once he'd gotten Jackson's boxers off not wanting to remain with his eye level on his friend's crotch. Usually when he was kneeling in front of someone and pulling off their underwear, it was for a much different reason. And Adrian was going to have to undress as much as Jackson unless he planned on soaking himself helping Jackson shower so he didn't need to be looking at or thinking about those kind of interactions.
It didn't make sense for Adrian to stay dressed. It would be easier to be naked so he didn't have to worry about getting his clothes wet, or embarrassing Jackson by being clothed when his friend was naked. Unlike their process undressing Jackson though, he started by shrugging out of his shirt, and sat on edge of the bed shirtless to remove his shoes and socks before standing to drop his pants and boxers as well.
Jackson stood, leaning slightly against the bed as he waited for Adrian to undress himself as well. His eyes fixed on the wall, the floor, the chair in the corner, everything but his friend who was now taking his clothes off. Thinking of cold showers and things of that sort had to happen. It would be unwise to show a physical response even though a glance told him that Adrian, while slimmer than he was, was incredibly attractive shirtless too. Cold showers, that was what he had to think on.
Adrian bent to grab his wand from his discarded pants, and then turned back to Jackson, once again wrapping his arm around him to help him walk the few steps to the bathroom. The entire time he was trying not to think about the fact that his incredibly attractive friend was naked, and that he was naked. No Adrian focused his thoughts on the fact that his sexy best friend was injured, and likely uncomfortable and in pain. He was helping not for some perverted reason but the noble one of trying to reduce his friend's discomfort. At the price of Adrian's own comfort. Adrian was willing to sacrifice what might be his own sanity to make Jackson feel better though.
Jackson accepted the help gratefully, repeating to himself over and over that this was not sexual. It was help because he and Adrian both needed a shower and he was incapable of doing it himself. His body pressed against Adrian's and he had to force down his response to it, the skin to skin contact tingling as he moved into the bathroom. He could handle this. He had no choice but to handle this. It wasn't sexual. He just needed a shower before he went back to sleep. That was all.
At least there was a practical problem to focus on so Adrian didn't have to think about the skin contact. He focused his thoughts on the practical issue of how to physically get Jackson into the bathtub given his immobilized leg. This was going to be the hardest part, he thought. Pushing the curtain out of the way he considered the options, before suggesting. "I think… I need to get in first so I can act as a support while you get over the lip of the tub." He said, eyes fixed on Jackson to read his reaction.
Jackson shifted slightly and nodded his head. “Yes, that’s fine.” He adjusted so that Adrian could climb in, and then eased himself so that he was seated awkwardly on the edge of the tub. He used his hands to lift and swing his immobile leg in first before following it with the one he could move properly, then used Adrian for support to get up again. This at least distracted him enough from attention to his friend’s body for now, which was a bonus.
Adrian resisted sighing with relief when they both got safely in the tub. The hard part was over until they had to get out. He reached around Jackson as he pulled the curtain back into place and then leaned back against the wall to try to give his friend some space. He was there if Jackson needed him but didn't want to intrude otherwise.
Awkward was a good word today, Jackson decided. It described exactly how he felt at this moment. He was trying to not look at Adrian as he turned to put on the water, tried to not think about his body, wet in the show- no! Not thinking about that. Thinking about anything but that now. And suddenly his eyes were on Adrian and any semblance of sanity he had? Gone. He knew his body was reacting and while he was trying to ignore it, it was...well, getting hard, in more ways than one.
Adrian was doing his best not to watch Jackson, but he was here to make sure Jackson was safe in the shower so he couldn't not keep an eye on him. He hadn't expected Jackson to face him once the water started, and it was difficult not to think about the fact that he was in the shower with him. Harder still when Jackson was reacting to the situation. They were friends. Was he supposed to ignore it? Or make a joke to break the tension? He wasn't supposed to react physically, but parts of him weren't under conscious control.
Jackson grabbed a washrag and then frowned slightly. Clearly he wasn't going to be able to wash his whole body. His upper would be easy. He couldn't bend all the way though to get the lower parts, given that he was leaning somewhat awkwardly to keep himself balanced properly. He glanced almost unconsciously to Adrian as he started to scrub the parts he could, not sure exactly how he would ask for assistance with the lower bits.
They were ignoring it. Adrian could accept that easily enough. He was having a harder time getting his body under control watching Jackson washing himself, the soapy cloth moving across his chest, down his stomach, over his hips… Fuck… he was supposed to be here to help, not to ogle his mate. "I can help with your back." Since Jackson was poorly balanced as it was, contorting to wash that properly wouldn't be smart and it would mean Jackson wasn't watching Adrian watching Jackson washing up.
"Yeah. I don't know how I'm gonna get fully washed without some help, honestly." Jackson was trying to keep his voice level, even as he could feel his erection responding to the suggestion of Adrian washing him. He had to close his eyes for a second and used tilting his head back to get his hair wet to hide this fact. This was really really difficult, and he cursed his body for showing such an obvious reaction to Adrian, a reaction he couldn't control.
Adrian took the cloth and soap from his friend, touching his arm to indicate Jackson should turn slightly so he could reach his back. Start there. That was safe. That was innocent. And he could try to pretend he wasn't really aware of Jackson's growing erection. That touching Jackson wasn't making him hard, but that was hard to hide when he accidentally brushed up against his friend washing him.
Jackson bit his lip and tried to think of anything but what was going on. No. He had to not focus on this. Adrian wasn't touching him. And then something that he was relatively certain was not Adrian's hand brushed against him and he closed his eyes, praying that his brain would just stop now. It didn't though, and he could feel his erection pulsing slightly, begging for contact.
Adrian felt the jolt when he'd brushed against Jackson - whose eyes were now closed. He had to have noticed. He was here for a purpose. He knelt again in front of his friend to wash his unreachable lower parts. The faster he got this over with, the better it would be for them both. But he brushed against Jackson when he rose, and it all got to be too much for him to pretend like this wasn't happening. He wrapped one arm around his friend to help support him, and wrapped his other hand around his friend's erection.
Oh. Okay. Well. Jackson's eyes shot open at that touch, his hips shifting a tiny bit forward. No. They couldn't ignore this anymore, could they? He met Adrian's eyes with his, his own hand - the one not supporting him against the wall- moving to stroke over Adrian's erection. No words were needed, honestly. He leaned to brush his lips on his friend's, needing more than just the manual connection in that moment.
Adrian responded to the kiss more than the one from the previous night. Jackson wasn't stoned right now. Adrian wasn't taking advantage. And if he opened his mouth a little, well he was jerking Jackson off… a little tongue in the kiss was no big deal.
Jackson half smiled against Adrian's lips, a phantom taste of chocolate- though he knew there had been none for some time- brushing his mind. His hand started to work more diligently on the other boy's erection, a soft moan catching in his throat. It felt good, and though his eyes were closed, the idea of the look of pleasure that he hoped he was giving Adrian resonated in him, causing his erection, if possible, to swell even more.
Adrian moved from Jackson's mouth to his ear, his neck - skipping the bearded jawline since while he might be attracted to guys, eating hair wasn't all that sexy. Jackson was. The way Jackson was touching him was. His hips shifted into the motion of their own accord. Adrian responded in kind to the pace Jackson was setting on his body. Faster, firmer, he pumped his hand the length of his friend's cock.
Jackson moaned a bit louder, his hand and Adrian’s now obviously at the same speed, stroking along each other’s lengths. He could not have held the kiss for much longer anyway, and he instead focused on the pleasure the kisses to his neck was adding to the other touches Adrian was providing. “Fuck, that’s so good….” His words choked, gasped out as he arched as best he could into his friend’s hand.
Adrian backed Jackson up against the wall of the shower so he could use his weight to help hold his friend up. He didn't want Jackson to lose his balance or worse slip as they finished each other off. Merlin he wanted to get him off. He wanted to get off too, it was hard not to with what Jackson was doing. But his focus was still mostly on his friend.
Jackson was grateful for the extra support of the wall and leaned slightly into it, his hand still working at Adrian and his eyes now meeting those of his friend. He couldn’t help it, he was pretty well entranced by him at this point. His body trembled slightly from the intensity of that and he moaned again, shifting to pull Adrian into another kiss.
The eye contact - Jackson's blue, blue eyes. By the time Jackson began to kiss him again, Adrian was coming. A couple hard jerks of his hips accompanied by the pleasurable release of the tension that had been in him since the attack the previous night. His release uncoordinated his movements on Jackson's behalf for a moment, but in the aftermath, he redoubled his effort to bring Jackson the same relief from the tension.
Jackson honestly didn’t take much longer before he too was gasping out his release, his hand shooting out to catch himself so he didn’t fall, though part of him knew that Adrian wouldn’t let him injure himself. He sighed softly as the water ran over them both, washing away the mess they had both made. The kiss was amazing too and Jackson could think of nothing still but Adrian’s lips.
Adrian only needed one hand to help hold his friend up, and since they'd gotten off, it meant he had a free hand to wrap around the back of Jackson's head while they kissed. In some ways the kiss now was more leisurely but there was also just a bit of desperation in Adrian. He wanted to remember what this was like, knowing that this entire experience was an aberration in their friendship. It was the short-term result of Jackson's injury and the scare they'd all had the previous night. He needed enjoy it before they both realized what they were doing.
Jackson sighed into Adrian’s lips and trailed his own to the sharp cheekbones, brushing a few light kisses there too. After a moment he pulled back, his eyes meeting those of his friend and his breathing starting to return to a normal place. What exactly should he say after this? He didn’t know what to do and he knew that Adrian deserved someone better than him. He couldn’t make words happen though, and so he just gazed into his eyes, almost enthralled for the moment.
So Jackson was coming back into himself, Adrian decided as his friend looked at him. Trying to figure out what the hell they had just done. Adrian let his hand slowly drop away from Jackson's hair. Then deliberately ruffled it trying to find their casual tone with each other. "We should wash this too while you're in here," he said.
Adrian’s assessment was incorrect, but as Jackson could not read minds he did not know it really. He nodded at the light tone, accepting that his friend probably didn’t think much of this clearly, and resigned himself to the fact that he would not have a chance with the other. “Probably should, yeah. Pass me the shampoo?” Because it was something he could do himself, and he didn’t want to have just done all that only to get himself another erection with Adrian massaging his scalp. That would be embarrassing.
Adrian was a little slow to release Jackson, easing his weight off first so that he was no longer pinning him against the wall. He made sure Jackson had his footing before he let go of him and passed him the shampoo bottle. Adrian returned to his former position on the back wall of the shower while Jackson finished up.
Jackson did his best to keep his eyes averted, though he really wanted to look at Adrian more. He knew though that it was a bad idea and he couldn’t deal with the repercussions honestly. His friend had just had some bad experiences like he did, and so they were affirming their lives. Something like that anyway. He scrubbed his hair vigorously and rinsed it, trying to speed up the ability to get out of the shower and to bed.
"Set?" He asked, waiting for Jackson to shut off the water so they could figure out how to get him out of the bathtub again now that they were wet. The reverse of how they got in should work, he hoped, and pushed the curtain back again after the water was off and stepped out to help his friend out again.
Jackson nodded, his wet hair falling around his face. He accepted the help out, easing himself so he didn't slip on the wet shower floor. The towel and redressing were going to be an issue, but at least he had sweatpants he could sleep in. That was a positive. They'd be easier to get on, he imagined.
Adrian relaxed a little because they had succeeded in getting Adrian cleaned. Everything else would be easy from here. And in a matter of minutes Jackson would be dressed again and Adrian could stop having to fight himself from reaching out to kiss his friend. Adrian grabbed a pair of clean towels from the linen closet and passed one to Jackson, and beginning to dry himself with the other.
Jackson was fighting back the same urge to reach out to Adrian as he struggled to dry himself properly. He needed to get through this. Even if it was just to push himself into a drugged sleep he had to not look at his friend drying himself only feet away. Nothing had happened. Everything was normal and he needed some sleep again to heal up his leg.
Adrian wrapped his towel around his waist, waiting for Jackson to do the same, watching him only out of his peripheral vision - although the mirror made sure he saw more than he was trying to. Fucking Merlin. He'd been friends with Jackson for years. They'd changed around each other before without him feeling this kind of pull. Why the fuck was it so distracting today? "Almost done… then potions and sleep," Adrian smiled at Jackson, though it was a smile Jackson would recognize as the one he used at the Gallery, not the one he smiled when he was truly relaxed and enjoying himself.
Jackson nodded, attempting to put a grateful look on his face. "Yeah. My leg's starting to hurt again. That'll be good." Because it hadn't bothered him much while he was distracted by Adrian and so now the pain coming back was slightly more uncomfortable for the lack that had been prior.
Adrian's look of concern was a complete reflection of his feelings - Jackson's admission he was in pain bothered him. He wrapped his arm around Jackson again to help him back to his bedroom - his bed. When Jackson was again settled on the edge of the bed, he said, "I'll get your bag." And collected it from the living room, putting it on the bed beside him so Jackson could pick what he wanted to wear out of it and didn't have to go searching. While Jackson did that, Adrian dug out the potions, putting them on the bedside so they would be easy for Jackson to reach.
Jackson pulled out his sweats and a t-shirt, carefully pulling the pants on. It was awkward but not nearly as awkward as if he had asked his friend to help him. He really didn't want to do that. It was already awkward enough without adding more awkward to the mix. He gulped the vial of bone mending potion and then took a (rather large) gulp of the pain potion. He hoped it would knock him out quickly so he didn't have to think about all this anymore.
Jackson was able to dress himself, so while he drank his potions, Adrian dressed too. "Is there anything else you need, Jackson?" It was clear the shower had helped him with increasing his mobility. The healer had said the immobilization would wear off. Adrian was glad if that was the case - and wasn't analyzing the sense of loss that was starting to settle in.
"I'm okay." No. He wasn't. He wanted Adrian to come and lay with him and tell him that things were fine between them. Or tell him something. Instead he was acting like nothing had happened, which was echoing what Jackson himself was doing. He lay back on the bed, knowing the potion would kick in soon and figuring it would be best to be laying down for that. "Thanks for letting me come along, Adrian." This murmured softly, the potion lulling him into a more relaxed state.
Adrian ran his hand through his hair distractedly. "It wouldn't have been as much fun without you there… I'm just sorry you got hurt." That Adrian had invited him made him partly responsible for Jackson's injury. "I'm here if you need anything."
"'M okay." Again murmured softly. He didn't want to open his eyes and see what he imagined would be some degree of annoyance or disgust for what had happened. It would ruin the warm peace that was flowing through him with that potion and he sighed softly, resting deeper into the pillow. "Doesn't even hurt anymore..." His leg, anyway. He wouldn't think about other things.
"Good." Adrian was truly happy about that. He watched until it seemed clear that Jackson was asleep. Jackson had slept a few hours last time. Adrian had time. He could go get an hour or two of sleep on the couch. He didn't want to leave his friend though. But Jackson was independent and could take care of himself. He was an idiot, standing here watching Jackson sleep. That decided him, and he went out to the sofa. He didn't need to make an idiot of himself with Jackson again.