I get to wear a suit and try to get people to watch the girls dance with fans and beads and shit. Sounds like the easiest fucking job in the world, who needs to be convinced to watch girls dance? They didn't have to kidnap me for that, I'd be glad to volunteer?
Oh but speaking of this job and kidnap thing... is there like a time limit on how long I've got to stay here? I've sort of got a family to get back to.