I also think redemption arcs are becoming Too Much Of A Thing, to the point where we as a society believes that people can fuck up many times and should still be forgiven and that if you don't forgive them you are like this heartless monster who doesn't believe in redemption even if you were the injured party in their bad behavior.
YES this. And it's also why I harp on about fictional representations of stuff so much, because I feel like they do reflect & shape & program how we respond to things. When Ibsen wrote A Doll's House in 1879, he depicted a wife walking out on her husband, and reviewers at the time described it as “the door slam heard around the world,” because it was just SO shocking and unthinkable that a woman could/would do that. I think it is so important for fiction to show people what's possible, and how they might react to situations. So when we never get to see people cutting toxic influences out of their life, and instead forgiving characters like Loki over and over and over... :|
(On that note, I really loved their conversation in Ragnarok, where Thor finally was just like "Nah, I don't expect anything from you anymore, we've grown apart and we're just very different people and will never see eye-to-eye, I get that, it's nbd". The movie still undermined that by the end but I adore that they at least get closer to touching on that point, at least?)
Like I see fandom going through SUCH horrifying contortions to redeem & support actual monsters like Kilgrave or Walter White.
I absolutely still love me some proper on-screen redemptive arcs, but the best ones are a) not where fanon is making it up~~ and shoving it in there, and b) where they have to work for it and actually put in some goddamn time & effort to change themselves properly? I'm trying to think of actual Excellent versions of this, and Zuko is one of the only ones coming to mind, because thx to it being a TV show they actually get enough episodes to devote to the arc.
Whereas, yes, 'unlikeable' female characters are NEEEEVEEERRR given anywhere near the same amount of leeway, ever. Fans will rain down hatred on a female character for like, saying one snide thing, whereas child-murdering male characters walk off beloved.