Aragaki Yui (gakky) wrote in candypop, @ 2008-03-21 05:00:00 |
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Current music: | C-ute - Wakkyanai(Z) |
20th March 2008 - Jin and Yui
Before he had a chance to talk himself out of it, Jin stopped walking and leaned back against the house behind him. Right now he was just a block away from where he was living but maybe, if she wanted to, he could be at her house in about fifteen minutes... maybe even ten now since it was in the middle of the night and...
"Yosh...," he mumbled to himself and read Tomohisa's mail one more time before finding 'Yui' in his contactlist and pressed the button to call. Maybe she was sleeping - Jin knew very well that maybe Yui was actually -sleeping- now since it -was- two in the morning but he had to talk to her even so... he ahd to -ask- her, to... Was it really weird to feel the need to talk to someone so much like he did right now?
The first time her phone rang, Yui turned over - normally there was no way just that would have woken her but today her thoughts were all of a jumble and it had been difficult falling asleep in the first place... by the third ring she was blinking blearily into the darkness and by the fourth she'd managed to grab her cellphone to see who on earth would be calling her at such a time...
Her eyes shot open and she was suddenly wide awake as the name on the screen registered in her mind. Sitting up immediately, she fixed her hair - as though he'd see that - and cleared her throat so as not to sound tired before answering. "...Hello..?"
For a moment Jin had almost been disappointed, assumed that she was sleeping and that she wouldn't wake up. Though she had eventually answered and even though he could hear in her voice that she probably had been about to go -to- bed or that he simply had woken her up... Whichever was right he would apologize for it eventually, not now though. Not -now- because right now there was something he had to ask her, something he had to-
"Let's get married," Jin said then before he had had a chance to go over it in his head one more time. As a few silent seconds passed though he realised what he'd said and just -how- weird it was. How... odd it was to say something like that now. Over the phone. Without even greeting... "If... I mean... Uh..."
Jin looked down at the ground and fell silent. Had he screwed up now? Probably he had... maybe... or maybe not but maybe... probably...
Yui blinked. And then, she blinked again. And once more, for old times' sake. On the fourth blink it finally sunk in exactly -what- he'd just said. She wasn't dreaming this, was she? It was late of course but... she -had- actually woken up and answered this call, hadn't she? And not fallen asleep again after it? That seemed the most likely thing, nobody would actually come out with it just like that, there were other factors involved - and over the phone? It... okay so it seemed kind of like him to do it this way but even so...
"W- what?," she asked finally, feeling it as her heartbeat quickened. Maybe... maybe he was just joking... It wouldn't be a very funny joke but that was a possibility too... There was just no way this was real. No way. She'd hear her alarm clock and wake up in a minute, she just knew she would.
Jin closed his eyes hard as he crouched, still leaning back against the wall. There was no way that Yui hadn't heard that, he knew there wasn't, but even so he could understand why she was... Well, of course anyone would be shocked! He hadn't really meant to say it like that...
"Um...," he tried then before taking a deep breath. He had to explain himself he realised, he had to explain and confirm if he was serious or if he wasn't he had to say so now but... "Well... this... this isn't really the best way but... I mean, it's... early and all... for... you but... eh..." Slightly frustrated with that he just couldn't put his thoughts into words, Jin brought his free hand up to rub the back of his head through the hat. It didn't help at all.
"How to say..."
Early - yes, it was early, wasn't it? Most people waited much longer than this to start talking about that kind of thing, she'd been convinced that she didn't want to get married until she was into her late twenties at least... But Yui knew by now that Jin was that kind of person, who wanted a great family life like that - getting married and having children and all those things... To think, though, that when he'd talked about that... The hypothetic wife he'd been imagining, she fit that image? She was good enough to do that? Even after this short a time that they'd had together he still thought something as wonderful as that... Yui hardly knew how to put into words how that felt.
"I...," she started, though trailed off midsentence as she wasn't even close to sure where she'd been going with that anyway. God, what was she supposed to say now? Was it as easy as saying 'okay', making a huge life decision like that? She wanted to think about it - but most people didn't think about it, they just... they just kind of said what they thought at the time and... surely it couldn't be as simple as that...
A few seconds of silence passed, during which Jin actually seemed to get some logical thinking done. Proposing wasn't something that should happen like this, it shouldn't happen over the phone and he hadn't meant for it to. He didn't want to propose to the girl who could come to be his wife... over the -phone-. And even if he would he wouldn't want to get a reply like this, even if it would be negative he wouldn't want to hear that like this...
"Think... of it...?," he thus tried and looked down at the ground again. "And we could... talk about it? Maybe..." He felt very insecure now. This was after all something he had -never done before. He had thought of it with Takako but... but that had been different. This that he felt for Yui, he hadn't felt this strongly for Takako... not at all. Though she had meant quite a lot to him but somehow Yui just meant -more-.
"No!," Yui exclaimed before she had a chance to think about it - no, she didn't -need- to think about it, it was obvious what she should say and she didn't want him going and changing his mind or something. Okay so honestly she didn't think he'd decide he didn't want to or whatever, but what if he thought about it and decided that she was too young? Or that they hadn't been together long enough? No, no, that wasn't fair at all. But... just saying no like that, maybe he'd think she was really saying -no- to him? Aack definitely not the right impression!
"I mean, I don't need to...," she continued, her tone quieting significantly - and not only because she wasn't alone in the house either. "I don't need to think about it." No, no, don't stop there, do -not- stop there. "...I'd like that..."
It took a good couple of seconds before Jin managed to make sense of that in his head. First she said no and honestly Jin hadn't thought about anything other than that she wanted to object to what he had suggested, but then she continued, said that she didn't need to think about it and... and then... It didn't make sense. It did make sense that Aragaki Yui would want to become Akanishi Yui. It didn't make sense that she'd say even before her 20th birthday that she wanted to get married to him. That she... she realised what it meant, didn't she? It meant that they'd get -married-, that they'd get kids. It meant that she'd be the mother of his kids...
"Eh...?," was thus the most intelligent answer Jin could come up with. Because it didn't make sense... or maybe it did but to him it sounded a bit too good to be true right now.
She was dreaming, she knew now that she -had- to be dreaming - that she'd wake up in a moment and curse her own ability to imagine. That she'd always wonder if it could ever happen. That everything would be totally different but... even so... for now it was a really -good- dream. One that she didn't want to wake up from if she could possibly help it. Was it possible to live in a dream? To grow up and get married and have -children- in a dream? Maybe dreams could only ever be temporary. But if she'd get to live the life this one showed her...
"Mm...," she mumbled, all her confidence draining, and swallowed hard. The hardest thing she'd ever had to say and it was all in a dream? That was hardly fair... "I really... I think... Mm..."
When he had talked to Tomohisa, mailed him in hope to get some encouraging words, Jin had gotten told to talk to her about it. Mention marriage in a good way and so on and that was what he had wanted to do... But even so he had had been a bit stupid to say what he had and now look... listen. Listen to what she said, she said she wanted to. She...
"We...," Jin couldn't help but smile slightly as he went over the sentence in his mind again. "We have to talk..." Because they really did. Now if they were seriously talking about marriage, for -serious-... then they really had to talk. They were both idols after all and aside from that they had parents to think of. But what's more important was that they had to -meet- to actually talk about if they wanted it... Which they did? Right now... they did anyway? Man...
Talk, yes, they had to talk. There was a lot to talk about, wasn't there? If it wasn't so -late- she'd say that they could meet now but... she had work tomorrow, and he probably did too, didn't he? What kind of use was a tired-looking idol? Speaking of that... there was that to contend with. And then there was the matter of family, and of planning since there -was- the event itself to think of and... wow. This really wasn't a dream, was it.
"I know," she replied, leaning against the wall a bit with the biggest smile on her face. Wow. Seriously. Just, wow. If she'd thought she'd been happy earlier then - seriously. That was -nothing- compared to this. She was really... really going to be someone's wife? Someone who she loved -so- much and who loved her in return and was a truly amazing person and - there was no downside. Usually with good things there was a downside but she couldn't see one anywhere. What could possibly be less than great about -this-?
"...Yume mitai..."
As he heard that, Jin couldn't help but laugh slightly. That was actually sort of true, this was like a dream. After all, he had been scared to think about... being together with Yui for so long. Not scared because he didn't want to or anything, definitely not, but scared of imagining something so great that might not come true... Though now she said she... wanted to and that was so difficult to believe. Maybe it'd be easier to realise when they met...
"Sorry...," he apologized then as he started to walk back home, home where he could sleep... a home he would have to leave when he and Yui would live together? That would almost be a bit sad, because he really liked this apartment but... but to live with Yui... "Sorry for waking you up suddenly..." Because he felt bad about that. Even though he was pretty sure that Yui would say something that'd point to that she didn't mind at all he still felt bad. She had obviously been in bed, right? Maybe just about to fall asleep or maybe just managed to... And then he had called with this. Of course she would be surprised... it went without saying that he had to apologize.
"Mm," Yui replied, shaking her head - as if he could see that. This, this was so amazing that she was even glad she'd been woken up for it. After all, maybe if he'd waited until the morning to talk to her then he'd have changed his mind? That he said what he thought -when- he thought it, that was one of the things she liked most about him anyway. Not that there was really something she liked about him more than everything else. He was the perfect all-rounder after all - nothing wrong with him at all. How lucky was she, seriously?
"I'm really... glad that you did...," she continued, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself down a little. It was so strange that something like this could happen in her tiny little room - it seemed too big for it, like it should happen somewhere else, somewhere more interesting.
"Really...," Jin muttered and he lowered his head slightly as a car passed him by. He didn't really mind if people saw him when he was out walking but when he as on the phone, in what he'd call his 'home clothes' and a hat in the middle of the night? He'd prefer if someone didn't get that on camera. Not because it was a bad thing or anything but because it would be really embarrassing so see that picture of him in some tabloid.
"Na," he continued then and smiled slightly. This would sound so silly, he realised. It would sound ridiculously silly even but even so he couldn't help but wanting to do it. "I'll talk to you 'til you fall asleep again."
Yui had never had someone offer to do that before... She'd fallen asleep on the phone to a friend, sure, but then what girl hadn't by this age? That was totally different though - okay so she'd never had a boyfriend (fiancé? wow that was a big word) talk to her while she went to sleep before but the idea sounded really... nice. If possible she would have liked to have him be -here- and talk to her - but of course there was no way that could happen for any number of reasons. For now, this was definitely enough; more than she'd have asked for anyway.
"Really?," she asked, laying back down and getting comfortable anyway. Her heart still beat so fast, she could feel it, but she was so -tired- she'd definitely have to go back to sleep soon anyway...
As he hummed in reply, Jin turned at the corner while trying to come up with something to talk about. Of course he could talk about work but that wasn't interesting. And then of course he could talk about Ryo was a complete idiot (he loved the guy really) but that would probably make her curious and interested. Just like babbling about her songs and the recordings would... Then the only thing left to talk about was...
"I cleaned today," he started, having to try very hard not to start laughing because - come on - who the hell talked about cleaning with their girlfriend anyway? "I hate cleaning... It's really the worst thing to do when you live on your own. Even laundry is better, you know? And cooking too but I'm not very good at it... I'm okay though - I'll make something for you sometime... Maybe. It depends on if I feel that I'll be good with cooking that day~ And until then I'll have cleaned again. I like it clean, I really do but I'm the worst at keeping things that way... I find things everywhere and I don't remember putting them there in the first place... Like I found a -sock- in a drawer in the kitchen, that was really odd you know. Like, why would I put a -sock- there? It was one I had been looking for too... It was really...," Jin fell silent then as he took up the keys from his pocket to unlock the door. "...Yui..?"
"Hm...," Yui mumbled as somewhere she thought that maybe she heard her name. Of course there was no way she could've stayed awake any longer - she'd really kind of tried even though she knew that was the whole point, just because she liked to hear Jin talk but... it was so late and she hadn't gotten to sleep until way past the time she normally went because her mind had just been so very up in the air...
In the morning she'd kick herself for not listening to more. In fact she'd probably call him just to hear his voice for a while if he didn't call first, to make herself feel better about it. But for now she was blissfully unaware.
Jin smiled widely as he heard her reply and then carefully closed the door behind him. She was totally sleeping already, he thought and couldn't help but congratulate himself a bit for being able to do that. Had he been in a bad mood he would have said that he was -boring- so his girlfriend just fell asleep on him instead but now he wasn't - how could he be!? No, he had chosen a boring subject because Yui was going to fall asleep and not be curious or interested about something he said and who would be when it was about cleaning? Really?
"Ne Yui," he continued then, his voice of course being low so that he wouldn't wake her up. After locking the door he set on going to the bedroom, he had to sleep too after all and he would hang up in a minute or so... or maybe just twenty seconds.
"I love you," was the last thing Jin said before quickly hanging up and sit down at the edge of his bed. Okay so that had been soooo cheesy... good cheesy though so it passed for being cool. Sort of. No, it totally did, so awesome.