Jin Superman (369) wrote in candypop, @ 2008-03-15 03:26:00 |
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Current mood: | crazy |
15th of March 2007, Jin and Yui - Part 1
They had finished eating and Jin had praised Yui's cooking quite a lot; she was really good with it. Maybe it was him being biased or something, but he could almost say that Yui's cooking came up to the same level as his mother's and that was pretty awesome. No one ever would make better food than mom though, maybe as good but not better. Can't really blame him for thinking so either, personally he didn't know a single guy who -didn't- worship their mom's cooking. It was mom after all.
For the last half hour Jin had played the guitar for her, because she had asked him if he was 'any good'. Himself he'd say he was okay and pretty cool with it, but it was up to her to decide after all, so he had decided to play some songs. Mostly songs by English musicians but also his own solo works... Though there was no way he was going to sing. He had done that once, at that karaoke bar when they had gone with some of his friends and that had just been way too embarrassing. No way that he would sing like this, when she was sitting just a meter or so away from him, definitely not.
"How's your dad?," Jin suddenly asked then as he finished playing Kobukuro's 'Sakura'. "Still angry?"
Yui tilted her head slightly, a little surprised by the seemingly random enquiry as to her father - until of course she remembered that her father had taken to declaring at every opportunity just how much he didn't like the man his 'little girl' was 'spending so much time with lately'. He'd come around, she knew he would, but for now...
Smiling, she shook her head. "He's not angry...," she replied, trying to think about how to word it without making her dad sound silly. He wasn't, so it would be bad to make him sound that way. "He's just... not used to me... dating and things, since I'm the youngest and all..."
At that Jin couldn't help but laugh slightly, for some reason finding it very easy to relate when she said it like that. He could definitely imagine that he would be like that too once his youngest girl (he had already decided that he would have about 3-5 kids and that at least some of them would be girls, yes) was starting to date and all... He would really be overprotective.
"I see," was all he said though. Even though he could relate... didn't mean that he thought it was a bit annoying that he wouldn't trust him. Okay so they hadn't really -met- but... It wasn't as if he was a bad guy or anything! Though of course he had always had that image so...
"When I get to actually meet him I swear he'll kill me or something~"
Oh now -that- wasn't a fun image at all. Yui frowned just a little, picturing it - Jin and her father having some explosive argument and vowing never to speak to one another ever again... She didn't know what on earth she'd do if something like that actually happened. No no no, worst case scenario right there.
"He'll come around," she stated, unsure of which one of them she was trying to convince now. Though he'd come around for her sisters, why should she be any different? Just because she was younger than them didn't mean she was stupid... Though she understood his being worried about her... "He's nice really, he just doesn't know you yet. Once you've talked to him a little he'll forget he ever said anything." ...hopefully.
"You make it sound as if he'll love me immediately," Jin answered and shook his head slightly. He could see it already, him and Yui's dad meeting. Being polite and all and then he'd realise what Jin most likely had done 'to' his poor little girl and... Jin couldn't help but grin slightly at the thought. Just imagine what her dad would be like once she realised that the two of them had had sex? That Jin had seen -his- Yui... naked? Okay so they hadn't actually done that yet but... That didn't mean he didn't want to, because he did. Really, really much. He wasn't the kind of guy to push that kind of thing though.
"He'll kill me for sure," he said then and nodded slightly. Yui's dad must have been young too once, right? And thus he should know what... a lot of guys thought of. Exactly.
Yui smiled - if Jin and her father could get along then things would be perfect, and she was pretty confident that they could. Jin was really nice after all, and while her father was protective, she wouldn't go so far as to say he was -over- protective. She was just nineteen years old after all.
"Not immediately, but... You sound so sure that he won't like you," she pointed out, finding it kind of amusing really. "Aren't you very good with parents or something..?" Because it couldn't possibly be a matter of confidence - this was Akanishi Jin after all, pretty much the main figurehead of KAT-TUN (there was Kame too of course, but it seemed to her that Jin stood out more somehow). How could -he- possibly be lacking in -confidence-?
She didn't get it, did she? A smile grew on Jin's lips as he looked up at Yui while drumming some of his fingers against the guitar. It was cute how she was so -innocent- and not overdoing it. It was very possible to overdo something like that after all, but she didn't...
"He's a -guy-," he pointed out then, his smile growing some as he looked down at the guitar. "He knows how a guy's mind work." That sounded as if he was some pervert who thought of sex with Yui all the time - he didn't. He didn't mean it like that and surely Yui could see that too? But... surely Jin thought about sex with her more than she thought about having sex with him? Honestly he wasn't even sure if she had thought about that even for a seconds... seemed so unlikely.
Staying silent for some moments as she attempted to work out what exactly he meant by that, Yui tapped her chin with her index finger in thought.
It didn't take long though, and the realisation was apparent in her expression as it occurred. He said a -guy's- mind, and what was it that people were always talking about how guys only ever thought of? There was only one thing in her mind it could possibly be - was he seriously thinking about that? About her, right? Just the idea that he might be thinking -those- things about -her- set her off within a moment and she looked down to hide the sudden colour in her cheeks.
"Oh...," she mumbled, unsure of what else to say. What way was there, really, to reply to something like that? 'Thankyou'? That sounded so weird...
That right there, was that her getting embarrassed? Jin couldn't help but glance up at her then and as he saw just... what he most likely should have expected to see...
"Aww," he said, not be able to keep it to himself before starting to play some again. He didn't know -what- to play though... not now, not when he... Well. He could always ask her to stay until tomorrow... But then she'd most likely get the wrong idea and think that he wanted... to rush her or something and he didn't. He could understand if she'd wait, it wasn't as if their relationship was all about sex anyway. Sure, they had been making out quite a lot and... it had happened more than one time that Jin had found his hand being way too comfortable over Yui's chest, but...
"Surprised?," Jin asked in a low voice and tipped his head to the side as he looked up at her while starting to play 'care'. "Gomen ne~"
Yui shook her head, loath to be seen as the little girl type who couldn't stand even the slightest thought of sex. It wasn't as if she hadn't thought about it! She -had-, she'd just never... done it, before. And because of that she wasn't really sure what to think of it, but even so...
"Mm," she muttered, keeping her eyes down however - no matter how much she -knew- it was a natural thing and really kind of did -want- to sometimes, it was still... really embarassing. Especially since Jin had to be really experienced, he probably was and she'd just end up looking like an idiot because she didn't know what to do. But even so, she was nineteen - hadn't most girls done it at least -once- by now? So maybe it wouldn't hurt to try, maybe not now but sometime... "Ii yo."
The older of the two quickly looked up at that, blinking a couple of times as he tried to make sense of what she said. Of course that 'ii yo' could be taken in many ways; it could be taken as if he was free to talk about it and so on - which probably was what she was getting at, but to Jin that... that sounded like something completely different. Since they were talking about sex and he just now had apologized for mentioning it and now she was all 'ii yo'... Wasn't that what she would say if she'd -want- to? Yes it was.
"Eh?," Jin asked - simply because he didn't want to go on and do something unless he was getting this completely wrong, but... It couldn't mean anything else could it? Didn't taht mean that she wanted... to? Did she... now? Right now? Tonight? Here? -Now-?
There was no point in asking Yui what she'd meant by what she'd said, because to be perfectly honest she wasn't quite sure herself. Sure, she could say that she was just telling him he didn't have to apologise, that it was alright to talk about it - she'd kind of meant that too. But did it mean anything -else-? That... seemed to be what had taken him off-guard anyway... or maybe he'd thought of that but he didn't want to..?
"Mm...," was all the verbal reply she gave, nodding once as she did - still not -quite- sure which meaning she was confirming. Nervous like she didn't remember ever being with him before, she looked up at Jin, her eyes meeting his as though to ask if she'd been wrong to say what she had.
While Jin had no idea of that Yui hadn't had sex with anyone before, he still thought of this as a pretty big deal. This was, if he was really taking things the right way, going to be the first time for them after all. And that was... that was a pretty big deal to him. Maybe it wasn't normally but he... really, really, really liked Yui after all, and he really... didn't want for her to get the wrong idea or anything. Like, think he was only in it for the sex or something. Because that was not what it was... It definitely was not like that.
"Um...," he started then, blinking some more and with that broke the eyecontact. He still looked at her though, at her face... at her hair and her neck and her shoulders and then her face again. "Are... are you sure?"
If Akanishi Jin wasn't the sweetest guy in the entire world then Yui didn't know who was - didn't care in fact, since it would be pure madness to even try looking for someone -better-. He was just... He was so much older than her, and more popular and experienced and all those thing that made her nervous and yet he didn't seem to mind at all. He invited her along when he was going to karaoke with his friends, and that song that he'd sung to her right in front of all of them... Normal guys didn't do that kind of thing, did they..?
And suddenly she was certain, she was -sure- that she wanted to -do- this - not because she wanted to make him happy, though of course that was a factor, but because she genuinely wanted to in herself. He'd never once pressured her and she was thankful for that - if he had then she might have said this out of obligation rather than actually meaning it. "If... you want to..?"
If he wanted to? Was she serious? Honestly he was -dying- to do that... And now it was going to happen. Wow... okay just -wow- that was so awesome, it was so... He felt ridiculously happy, was that normal? It was 'just' sex, but it was going to be sex with Yui... -his- Yui.
"I...," he started then as he loosened his grip around the guitar, ready to put it away. He had to go and check if he had condoms though... he wasn't going to be -stupid- on their first night. He was pretty sure he had some though, but...
"Mail your mom and say you'll stay here for tonight?," Jin suggested as he put down the guitar and then quickly looked up to where the bathroom was. "I'll... be right back."
"Mm," Yui muttered, turning her attention to her handbag - she hadn't even thought about telling anyone where she was, how irresponsible was that? Normally she was so conscientious too, but she'd just completely forgotten... After the last time, though, she didn't want to have to face her father like that again for a long time.
Taking her phone out, she quickly typed a mail to her mother - telling her that she'd be here for the night but to tell her father she was at Yuka's - before quickly typing out another one to Yuka asking her to cover for her. Yuka was good like that and Yui had done it for her before, after all.
She was just putting her phone onto silent mode when she heard her name called from the doorway, and looked up automatically. "Ah, I just finished..."
When she turned around like that, the way her hair fell over her shoulder and... Was it possible to be this lucky? Jin definitely didn't think so.
"Jaa...," he mumbled and waved at her a bit so that she'd get to him, before putting his other hand on the handle. Behind this door was his bedroom... it was pretty neat, it was... clean and all. And new sheets... new-ish at least, three or four days old. Nothing too bad... and he had two pillows. So about that everything was perfect... Though, for some reason, he was still nervous. -Nervous-, god why.
"Come here..?"
Nodding, Yui put her phone back in her bag and stood up - though hesitated right after doing so and didn't move. He didn't... know, did he? Maybe he could tell but she hadn't -told- him and... she had to tell him. He couldn't just not know, and besides he'd -notice- wouldn't he? If he thought she was trying to keep things from him already...
"Ano ne...," she muttered, nervously putting some of her hair behind her ear, but let it fall free again after deciding that she preferred the cover at least for right now. What if he didn't want to anymore, what if he didn't like inexperienced girls, what if..? "I've never... done this before..."
Jin's eyes widened slightly as he hadn't expected to hear something like that from her. When she had seemed a bit insecure he had thought that maybe... she had decided she didn't want to anymore and thus for a second he'd gotten disappointed but now... She had never...
"It's okay," he answered then, making sure not too much silence passed. If he stayed silent for too long she'd think he thought of it as a bad thing, wouldn't she? When in fact he... he couldn't feel any more positively about it even if he tried. He felt honoured too... felt special, that she decided she wanted to do it the first time with him. Sure, she probably hadn't gone around and thought that she'd wait 'for Jin' or something, but even so... It was cute, wasn't it? It wasn't as if it was something that happened everywhere anymore...
"I... I'll be careful..." He had been a bit insecure on that, wondered if he should have said it at all. Because didn't it sound as if he hadn't thought of not being careful in the first place? He had though! There was no way he was going to be... all rough about things, definitely not. But even so, she was inexperienced... maybe she'd need to hear that? Maybe she'd... have to hear that he would be?
He didn't need to say that - she already trusted him to be - but somehow being able to hear it put Yui somewhat more at ease than she had been. Of course it was still a little scary, she'd heard that it really hurt the first time after all and this was something that she'd never be able to do again... But it felt like the right decision, and surely that was what mattered..? That was what she thought anyway...
"Thankyou," she muttered, smiling a little as she finally crossed the room toward him - to the door behind which lay his bedroom. Wow, this was so very nervewracking...
As she got closer Jin opened the door and walked in first, leaving the door open so that she'd be able to follow. He felt so special right now - he felt... kind of awesome actually. After all, whether Yui would or would not like sex - a lot of it depended on him, didn't it? The two of them probably weren't going to be together for forever and ever and then if Yui would have a good... first time to look back at when in a relationship with some other guy - whether she'd want to be with that guy or not, a lot of that depended on if Jin would do this right. That she'd... let him be the first, wasn't that really, really cute? It was...
Jin looked up as he heard the door close and then laid eyes on Yui who... she looked insecure. She looked a bit insecure but at the same time not scared like one might have expected a girl who was going to have sex for the first time to be. That was a good thing though, it was definitely... a good thing.
Once Yui got close enough, Jin reached out his hand and put it on her shoulder in order to pull her closer and lean forward. He couldn't just... have her lie down on the bed immediately and then go for it, it didn't -work- like that after all. And even if it did sometimes he wouldn't let Yui's first time be like that... he wouldn't let -their- first time was like that. So it'd have to start like this, kissing just like they had about a thousand of times already.
Letting her eyes slide shut, Yui told herself to relax and just enjoy this. For now at least it was nothing they hadn't done before, though granted this was pretty much -all- they'd done before. But she trusted him, she knew somehow that he wouldn't do anything to hurt her... So there was no reason to be scared.
Reaching up to put her hand on his upper arm, because he was touching her and it felt strange just to stand like normal, she counted down from ten in her mind. Just because it was nervewracking, just because this was a once in a lifetime thing didn't mean it was going to go wrong. -Nothing- was going to go wrong, so long as she left it up to him it'd all be okay, she just needed to relax right now...
Okay right now, now they were doing this... and it was really good. If he was to be honest though, he already wanted to move on. He wanted to move on and... well, undress her. Now -that- was going to be exciting, but he couldn't very well do that yet, they had been staying like this for maybe thirty seconds? It wasn't as if she would be ready for it yet... Though, she would definitely be ready for...
Jin pulled back from Yui's lips then as he, at the same time let his arms fall down to her waist. He had been kissing her neck before, he had done it a couple of times though it hadn't happened enough for it to be a 'regular' thing, which was exactly why he went to do that next. It -should- become a regular thing if anything. She should get more used to it... And it was a way to slowly move forward, but that 'of course' wasn't the main reason to why he did it.
Feeling her heart flutter in her chest like a startled butterfly, Yui tilted her head back slightly and bit down a little on her lower lip in an effort to stay silent. Right now it wasn't really an effort at all, but she'd heard about people making -such- a lot of noise and... well, if she could stay as quiet as possible that would be good. She could only see it being horribly embarassing being so loud about it. Hopefully it wouldn't be difficult later either.
Swallowing hard, Yui forced herself to think not about what would happen -later- but what was happening -now-. How his lips felt on her neck, his hands on her waist. What thoughts he must be having right now; such a scandalous idea, but one that had her breath quicken slighty as it came to her.
Subconsciously taking a step backwards, Jin slowly kissed a trail up to Yui's lips again. He loved kissing her so much. She was such a great kisser too, she was so good with it and even though she wasn't all over him like he knew some girls could be, she wasn't supercareful either and it was just... she was so perfect. Jin smiled slightly into the kiss as he let a hand come up to the same height as her head and pulled his fingers through the long hair, almost carefully. Her hair was so soft, and it was long and it was just - it was like perfect-hair.
This was going great so far, he thought. This was going really great and Yui even followed as he backed up another step. But he couldn't do more than that now - he didn't want that things would get complicated -in- bed, if he got things his way she'd just have underwear when they got that far... Oh man, they -would- get that far. As he thought that, he let a few fingers carefully - almost as if he was trying to do it without her noticing - get in under her shirt. He wouldn't take his -whole- hand under her shirt yet though, definitely not. Not yet, that would be like... maybe too fast and sudden? Maybe he was being a bit -too- careful but he'd rather take things superslow than too fast and have her regret it.
While Yui most certainly did notice, she wasn't against it - they were still way out in 'harmless' territory right now, and until they got closer to the act -itself- she was pretty sure she'd be fine. The two of them were both still fully clothed right now anyway...
Without really thinking about it, she lifted her arms to put them around his neck instead - he was taller than her of course, but not enough for it to be uncomfortable or anything. And now... and now there was less obstruction if he wanted to do anything else... He would though, wouldn't he? Oh god but it was such a good thing she was wearing matching underwear today. Not that she normally didn't, but on the day before laundry day sometimes there was no other choice... Luck was already on her side.
Jin let his other hand fall down to her waist then and with that took the next (pretty small) step and actually let his both hands go in under her shirt. He didn't really think of this though, he didn't really think of -what- he was doing until he actually -was- and now... well, he couldn't pull back now. He couldn't stop it because he thought he might have done things too quickly - not when it was something he wanted and something that was -so- in the right direction. She didn't seem to mind either...
As the thought of just how perfect this was crossed Jin's mind again, he couldn't help but smile into the kiss before slowly pulling back. For some reason, always after they kissed she always looked so -cute-. He had no idea of why but she just -did-... not that he was complaining or anything.
"You re~ally sure?," Jin whispered then, still smiling slightly as there was -no- reason not to. He was pretty happy right now and he was actually pretty sure he'd get a 'yes' to that question... He just wanted to hear it really... and it gave him a reason just to -look- at her for a little while. She was so, so, so pretty.
Right now there were absolutely no thoughts in Yui's mind about not going through with this. Not only would it be kind of mean to say she would and then change her mind partway in (an opinion she wasn't sure a whole lot of other girls actually shared, from what she'd heard), but she didn't want to deny herself the experience either.
Somehow feeling his fingers against her skin was really nice. He didn't go right ahead and try to do everything at once, and since she had a moment to adjust to it it wasn't anything but just really... nice. She liked it, she decided. Which was a good thing, because this wouldn't get very far if she didn't.
Nodding once, Yui smiled up at Jin, actually pretty excited about this. "Really sure."
He felt really special right now and at the same time he felt ridiculously excited. Generally Jin liked sex, he enjoyed it really much and if he happened to be bored and had a good friend close (a certain Yamashita Tomohisa knew this for sure) he could do it out of boredom too. But this was so different, it was... Maybe it was because he was going to be Yui's first, or maybe it was because it would be -their- first time, he didn't really know. It was different though, it was so very different. He wanted to be careful, he wanted to be gentle and make this as good as possible for her...
"Okay," Jin whispered then as he leaned down to kiss her one more time while taking another step back. Was it a weird thing to think? That she had a nice back... at least from what he could tell just by touching her like he did right now.
Yui closed her eyes again, just enjoying the feeling of being so close right now. It really felt like she mattered... That sounded strange, as though it should be really obvious that she mattered and maybe it kind of was. But sometimes, and she knew this from listening to her friends, the guy would get all wrapped up in his little world and be -so- happy that they were -finally- getting what they wanted that they'd forget all about factoring in how their girlfriend was feeling at any time. This really... it wasn't like that.
Arching her back slightly into the light touch that almost tickled, she let her fingers run through his hair. Something she'd done before but liked doing nonetheless - he had such nice hair... Somehow that was surprising, since he was a guy and all. It had never occurred to her that they bothered taking so much care of it...
It didn't take long before Jin again went for kissing Yui's neck, though on the other side this time. He loved doing this, it wasn't all that weird that he'd been able to do with just this for so long. Even if it hadn't even been a month already it actually felt a bit like they had been dating for ages. That was just how comfortable he felt around her - wasn't that amazing?
Now things started to get a bit further than they had before, as Jin let his hands get even further up under her shirt while still kissing her neck. He hadn't actually -touched- her like this before, he hadn't thought much about doing it when they had been together. Usually thoughts like that came only when he was alone and thought of her. As he finally felt Yui's bra against his fingers, Jin then lowered his hands again, placing them on her waist instead - though still under her shirt. He hadn't really -seen- her stomach either... Sure, he had seen it in her photobooks, he'd seen -most- of her in that photobook but it wasn't as if that was the same thing as... as this. This was... He wanted to take off her shirt. Was it too early? Was it -way- too early or... In order to get an answer to this, he lifted his head slightly while slightly holding on to the hem of her shirt. If she agreed she'd... just nod or smile or something, right? And if she thought it was a bit -too- early... Well, he hoped it wasn't.
Why was he nervous now? Because he hadn't seen her -without- a shirt on before? Maybe that was it... but the reason didn't really matter, did it?
Yui wasn't exactly shy about her body - she could afford to be, having to run around on beaches in a bikini or some such thing for a photobook that a whole lot of people (excuse the egotism) were going to see. But that was kind of... different. She didn't -know- the people who saw her in photobooks after all - except for her mother who meticulously bought every piece of her merchandise despite assurances that she didn't have to -pay- for it, but probably didn't even look at it more than one glance anyway - and by now she could say she knew Jin pretty well.
It wasn't a bad thing, though, she thought. If someone had suggested she take her shirt off in front of him then she would've refused flat-out, but now that it seemed he -wanted- her to, who was she to refuse? In answer, she nodded mutely and licked her lips that were suddenly so dry... Here was hoping he liked what he saw, anyway.
For some reason Jin liked this. He liked how he could ask her about stuff without using words and how it didn't make things awkward. He knew some people who thought it was awkward to -talk- and ask things in situations like these. He had been with people like that and then it had just been all about making each other as excited as possible before getting down to it. Honestly it wasn't that awful, it was pretty hot actually. But it wasn't more than that and this, this with Yui was going to be so much more than just hot. So it was because of that reason that he felt he had to be slightly careful when he pulled the shirt over her head. Though, where the shirt landed he didn't feel the need to be as careful about and thus just let it fall to the floor before kissing her again. He had seen that - he had seen her bra, her stomach, her collarbone and just... everything. But he wasn't going to stare... he wasn't going to stare and thus he went on and did this immediately. A part of him wanted though, he... wanted to just -look- at her. Look at how beautiful she was. Look at the -pink- bra she wore. Pink, wasn't that the most adorable thing ever? Or at least he would have thought so had there not been black, I repeat; -black- lace too. What were the odds of that she'd wear that on the one night they decided to be together? Jin always thought of Yui as adorable, as cute and pretty and all but when he saw that she wore things like that... Maybe she always wore this? ... Oh good God.
Yui felt a little strange now, standing here in her boyfriend's bedroom with no shirt on - a situation she'd never actually found herself in before. But what was strange about it wasn't that it was -weird- but that it really kind of... wasn't. It felt totally okay, which was completely the opposite to what she'd thought it would feel like when she'd thought about this sort of thing happening before now.
One thing bothered her though. When he'd taken her shirt off, he'd barely looked at her at all. Sure, maybe he just wasn't the type to, but she couldn't help thinking... What if he didn't like how she looked? Maybe he didn't like pink, maybe he was one of those people who thought girls who wore lace on their underwear were slutty, maybe - horror of horrors - her chest wasn't big enough? She'd never say anything about it, never, but that was something she'd worried about; that he liked girls with big breasts and hers weren't measuring up. But what could she possibly do about that besides going out and having -surgery- on them? There was no way she'd do that, really...
Had Jin heard her thoughts right now, he would have whispered something in reply. He would have whispered how he thought that this was okay and that it didn't matter at all if she was a cup-A or cup-D, that didn't really matter at all. At least not right now - looks mattered very little right now. Even if she would have been someone that most people would have considered ugly, if she still made him feel like she did he most likely would still have thought of her as beautiful. Now that she -wasn't- ugly was just a big, big plus. It mattered, of course, but not as much as what kind of person she was. Definitely not.
She wore lace though, Jin reminded himself then and tried, somehow, to kiss her a bit -more- than he already did. It wasn't really possible but he still tried. Maybe it was a cliché thing to like, maybe it was a bit old or something, he didn't really know but it was -so- damn sexy. It was really... really sexy and he couldn't help but wonder if she wore matching underwear. After all not all girls did, some only did when they had -planned- something and they hadn't really planned this. Well, mentally he had but, you know.
Jin hummed slightly into the kiss as he let his right hand run down from her waist and over her hip. This was a bit too much, he knew it was but right now he didn't do much thinking. Right now he just wanted -more- of Yui and, right now, the only way to get that was to pull up her skirt slightly and in a nice way get his hand...
...what the -hell- was he doing?! Jin broke away from Yui's lips then, still staying close and holding on to her - and her skirt, of course but... Wow if he wasn't embrrassed right now. Slowly he let go of her skirt and then lifted his eyes so that he could look at her. What did that look mean?
"Sorry...," he whispered then, definitely feeling as though he should apologize for being -so- forward. It wasn't like... okay so it was like him to get carried away like that but not when he was with Yui... had never happened before...
It was very true to say that while Yui lacked practical experience in this field, she did have book-learning - the kind that came not from actual books (that would be a little strange after all, or at least it seemed that way to her) but the kind that came from listening to her friends. She'd always been the girl who everyone went to with their problems or triumphs, talked about anything and everything because they knew she'd listen; and sex had been a topic that had come up quite a few times, as it is wont to be doing.
As such, while that had startled her slightly, she couldn't help but be almost entirely unable to feel badly about it. If he was saying sorry, that meant that he thought he'd gone too fast, didn't it? Yui's heart, having leapt up into her throat, would probably have agreed. But that meant, that meant that he really -wanted- to. That he was going more slowly than he was used to, for her sake. That was so...
Shaking her head slightly, she found it impossible to keep the smile off her face, though kept her eyes down. "It's okay..."
As he heard that Jin felt ridiculously relieved and he even went so far as to smile slightly. That was such a great thing to hear though - that it was okay. That she wasn't angry or anything - she really didn't sound angry. It didn't sound as if she didn't mean it so... He wouldn't do it again though, definitely not. Maybe in a month or two or something but not -now-. This was her first time, they were going to do to this for the first time now and it was just... not going to be rushed like that.
Jin didn't say anything before he leaned down to kiss her again - now with both of his hands around her waist instead of having one almost under her skirt. He loved kissing her, he loved holding on to her like this and if he didn't know that there -were- better things he probably would say that this was the 'wonderful moment' that everyone in relationships spoke about. Even if Yui was inexperienced, even if she hadn't done this before Jin was sure of that once they would be there, once they would be in the middle of -that- moment, it would beyond amazing. And it was because of that that he wanted to get there already, he wanted for her to lie down in his bed, he wanted to be on top of her, he... His bed wasn't far away now.
Even though he was a bit afraid of that she'd feel that it was happening to fast, Jin moved his feet so that he and Yui switched places. So that she had her back against the bed. So that she would be the first one to get there, so that he would be able to follow -her- instead of dragging her down with him.
Yui wasn't quite sure why, but when Jin's hands stayed firmly on her waist after that, she was almost disappointed. She didn't have a whole lot of time to be thinking of that before they switched places however, and she realised that his bed was closer than she remembered it having been...
It was odd, though, that she was still the only one having taken anything -off- at all. Surely he would soon (though Yuka insisted that some people -didn't-, which she found extremely strange), but it seemed like... the right time to do it so... Inwardly pushing all her courage to the front, where it would run out really fast but would be enough to do something quickly at least, she let the fingers of her left hand slide hesitantly just under his shirt; not even a lot, just a centimeter or so, but it felt like she'd done something -huge-. She'd seen him in magazines with his shirt wide open and such but that was just -looking- and not only that but looking at something that everyone else could see too... This was completely different.
Jin blinked then as he felt her fingers against his back like that. It wasn't as if he had expected it - no, he hadn't actually thought she'd touch him like that at all but... but now that she did he wanted to encourage it. He had no idea of why he felt like that though, sure he liked how it felt but he could just tell her really. Whisper to her that he 'liked that' but... but for some reason that felt weird. As if it would ruin the mood or make her embarrassed or something. So instead he kissed Yui down her neck again before letting go of her. For the few seconds it took it felt very weird, to kiss her like this but not touch her. Though it only took a second or two before Jin had pulled his own shirt over his head, let it fall to the floor and then held on to Yui again. Though now, when he stood like this. Dressed only in his pants (well and underwear) it really started to hit him that he and Yui were going to... they were going to actually do this. And no matter how perverted it may sound - just the thought of that he'd be... well, -inside- of her...
He didn't want to push her. He didn't want to push her -at all- but there was no way he couldn't help but take a small step forward right now. He wanted this so much, and she wanted it too. He wanted to make it perfect for her -so- much. He wanted to show her, really. He wanted to let her know how amazing it was, he wanted her to be happy that she'd decided to do this with him... but in order to do that they'd have to get there. It all sounded very selfish but... but she wanted it too, didn't she? And she... and she... it was for her sake. Sure, it was for both of them but he wanted this -for- her just as much.
Even though it had only been for a few seconds, barely enough to even call a moment in its own right, when Jin had let go of her a lot of thoughts had run through Yui's head. That she shouldn't have done that, that he didn't like it, that he was going to be disgusted and stop and it would be all her fault for ruining everything... But even as she was just getting frightened, just starting to panic, all he did was take his shirt off and come back.
There weren't words to describe the relief she felt then. That she really hadn't ruined it, that she could do something like that and it'd be okay - some people would have called it obvious, but how was she supposed to know? She'd never done this before; okay so she'd thought about it on occasion but even in her thoughts she'd never gotten down to that level of detail. It was... so new... and a bit frightening, but in a good way? It was hard to know how to think of it really...
This had been going on for how long now? Jin wasn't sure and he wasn't really all -too- bothered by it, but he really wanted to move on now. Had too little time passed for him to pull down the zipper on her skirt (that was on his left side, her right - was it bad that he had paid attention to something like that?) or maybe now would be perfect?
She smelled nice, he thought then as he kissed her down her neck. She smelled really nice, but it wasn't a strong smell of perfume or anything. Just... perfect. Pretty typical for Yui really, to have even something like this be perfect. Or maybe Jin was being biased but he really didn't think so, surely everyone could see that she was perfect?
Jin stroke his hands over her back for a while as he kissed her, but then once he claimed her lips again he actually dared to go so far as to let his left fingers run over the small zipper on the side. Not yet, he told himself. Not just yet. He had to wait for a reaction, for some sort of reaction from her... Then he hopefully could continue.
He'd probably done this so many times before. He was probably so experienced, he'd almost definitely been with girls who were much easier to deal with and did things much better and much more quickly than she did... If you asked Yui right now what she wanted more than anything, the answer would be that she wanted to make Jin happy. He deserved it after all - not only because he was so patient with her but because he was... him. There was no better justification for it than that.
It was for that reason that she deliberately steeled herself when she felt his hand on the fastening of her skirt. Surely he wouldn't go near something as mundane as that unless he was thinking of undoing it - another step further. He hadn't seen her entirely in her underwear yet and she would be lying to say that the thought of it happening didn't make her nervous. Jin's opinion mattered after all, if there was anyone whose opinion of how she looked in her underwear mattered it was him - and that wasn't even thinking about how at some point he'd have to see her -without- her underwear.
She mumbled a sort of 'mm' sound into the kiss then; trying to tell him that it was alright, but still a little worried that it could be taken as some kind of signal to stop. But if she wanted him to stop then she'd pull back and tell him so - surely he understood that?
Luckily Jin didn't take it as anything other than how Yui meant it - that it was okay - and thus slowly undid the small (pretty much invisible) zipper. That was so weird, or well, not in a bad way. It was really good, it was very good.
Once he noticed how the skirt fell to the floor, Jin couldn't help but pull back slightly. Okay so he probably would... come off as a pervert now, wouldn't he? But he wanted to -see-, it couldn't be all that weird. He wanted to see her, to take this in... And thus he even went so far as to back up a small step so that he could look at her. She was so beautiful... (and the underwear matched her bra; pink with black lace - how sexy was that!?). This was where Jin normally would have undone his pants, without blinking he normally would have unbuttoned his pants and just pushed her down in the bed. And even though this was -Yui- he still wanted to do that. Wanted to but wouldn't.
As he again kissed her then, he let his hands rest on her hips, his thumbs stroking over the waistband of the underwear - right now not wanting -anything- more than to actually... well. Pull them down.
He wouldn't though, he wouldn't do anything like that before they were in the bed and before that happened he would have to be without pants too. Something that he -would- take care of soon... unless she did it first. That was the only reason for why he hadn't done it yet actually, he wanted for Yui to do it. To undo the belt, to unbutton the first button and then maybe even go so far as to pull at them slightly. He was aware of that he might not get that though - which was why, if she didn't do it soon - he would. That would be okay though.
While up until now Yui had been surprising herself with her audacity, she really didn't think that she could bring herself to make it go any further. This was just too frightening; in a good way or not, it was still frightening. There was too little certainty, too much opportunity to screw things up by misreading signals and going too far or just doing something that was horribly irrevocably wrong... How was she supposed to know how little was too little, how much was too much? Surely Jin knew, though. She wasn't sure where she'd gotten this feeling that Jin knew everything there was to know about this, but pretty much he knew more than she did and thus things she didn't know, she'd leave up to him. Hopefully he didn't mind...
Either way, after some moments Yui's anxiety about appearing passive overrode her fear of doing the wrong thing - so long as she just did something little then there couldn't be all that much opportunity to screw it up, right? So while she couldn't bring herself to actually do anything with it, she let the fingers of one hand run over his belt buckle. She did -want- to get further after all, this was fun and all but they -were- doing it for a reason... It was just... scary. No, that couldn't be said enough times.
It was so close now, it was ridiculously close. It was... it was just Jin in pants that were keeping things from going further. Jin could, at this point, honestly say that he had never taken -this- long to just undress with a girl before. That was of course not a bad thing though. Probably. He didn't really know, but it was a first - not even his first time had been like this. The girl he had been with then hadn't even known he was a virgin. Not that it mattered much though, she hadn't been.
But Yui was, Yui was and Yui was very calm and careful as a person as it was but when it came to this that she didn't know anything about (because in Jin's mind Yui hadn't been even done some 'innocent' touching or anything that was more than kissing with other guys) it went without saying that she would be even more careful. Even more... And probably that was why he reacted so strongly when she just slightly touch his belt buckle. He could almost feel her fingers against his stomach too. Jin attempted to take a fairly deep breath once he couldn't feel her fingers anymore and kept his eyes closed. This was almost starting to get painful now, he thought. It was -this- close to being actual torture.
Maybe Yui had had in mind to actually undo the belt and all, but as it was right now there was no way that Jin could wait for that, absolutely no way. So instead he took up the two (why two? Because he had been rushing) condoms he had had in his pocket, threw them at the bedside table and then quickly undid his pants. Maybe a bit too quickly, maybe she'd be able to tell that he really... -really- wanted her now? Wasn't that much of a bad thing though.
Once Jin's jeans fell down to the floor he again kissed -his- (absolutley wonderful) girlfriend, having one hand around her waist and the other in her hair. Most likely she'd be able to tell by his way of kissing now that he was pretty excited about this. You couldn't really blame him though, he had been waiting for this for -ages-.
Far from being a bad thing, Yui took Jin's evident eagerness (that not even the most oblivious of partners, which thankfully she was not, could fail to notice) as encouragement. She trusted him after all, she knew that he wouldn't hurt her - at least not on purpose anyway - and he knew what he was doing so it only followed on from that that it would be alright to leave this up to him.
As much as she wanted to, though, she couldn't stop -thinking- about everything. From what she'd heard and read it was much better just to 'go with the flow', but try as she might every move either of them made ran through her head like she was analysing it. Maybe that was normal for one's first time? One thing she knew was that people always remembered their first time, years or decades later the details of it would still be impressed in their minds. Yet another reason why it would be terrible if anything went wrong...
Suddenly really appreciating the way her boyfriend kissed her, like it really meant something, Yui reached up for a moment and let her hand brush his cheek - a strangely personal gesture comparative to the feeling that the air in the room had taken on as if by magic once they'd both gotten to this state of undress. But was it so bad to do something like that? She didn't honestly think he'd mind something so small, and it made her feel better - the nervousness in the pit of her stomach was beginning to make itself much, much more noticeable by now and she was really going to need his help to not chicken out at the last second.
Even though they hadn't done this before Jin could tell that doing that - slightly touching his cheek - was so typical of her. He probably should have seen it coming... Not that he minded or anything though. He definitely didn't - this was like... it was like... He didn't know, but right now it didn't really matter. He wanted her, he -needed- her right now because even if she would (horror of horrors) suddenly say no, say that she didn't want to... Of course Jin would respect it. Of course he would but it would be really difficult to deal with it. The thought of that he he was going to be with her, it made him expect the most amazing thing ever (which this would be even if it would be good or not) and because of that... if a no would happen then masturbating simply didn't match up. Just no way.
Though, as it seemed right now, Yui wasn't going to say no. She seemed to like this more than -dislike- it and thus it was all good. All good but going way too slow so after a couple of seconds Jin pulled back to look at her. That had, by the way, probably been one of the most difficult things ever. For a few seconds he was silent and looked down while catching his breath. And they had just been kissing, just made out but they were... just underwear. She was so...
"Mhmm," he hummed as he eventually lifted his eyes to meet hers. She was going to lie down now right? Because... because it kinda felt like it. Didn't it? A small smile grew on his lips then as he folded his hands behind her back and walked a step closer. "Mhmm~" He felt pretty happy right now. All that about this being painful? -Painful-? No, no~ It was kind of awesome.
He smiled. There were so many thoughts going on in Yui's head right now that it would take a lifetime or more to count them all, but the one most prominent, taking first place above all the rest was recognising that he -smiled-. It felt then that... she wanted to say that all of her worries vanished, but they didn't. It wasn't as easy as all that. But she did feel much better about this, much better than she had a moment ago. Everything she'd done had worried her with infinite possibilities of sending the wrong message - but even despite that they'd gotten this far, and now he smiled. Which meant...
"Mm," she mumbled in reply, a bashful smile on her face as she lowered her eyes out of selfconsciousness. This was it, this was crossing some kind of barrier if she lay down now like it really seemed like she was supposed to... Of course she would. She had to so she definitely would but... wow. It felt so much like an important thing right now. Like that sense of seriousness you get when going to sit a final exam.
Jin hadn't actually expected for Yui to reply to that, but now that he did he couldn't help but laugh slightly. That was so cute though, he thought. It was -so- cute and it was just... he really, really liked this girl. As if we didn't know that already? Yeah, but it could be said again.
Now he could actually help her down in bed, probably it would be the best thing to do, but what would happen when she was laying there? She would be laying on her back, she would be laying down and then sitting up would be a bit weird so... Suddenly a bit nervous, Jin lifted his hands so that he felt her bra against his fingers. He would have to undo that, wouldn't he? So that things would be easier, so it would be... much, much easier but it was such a big thing, wasn't it? But then again they -were- going to have sex.
It was while thinking that it was perfectly okay since Yui wanted this too that Jin then undid her bra. Maybe with a bit too much ease - or maybe the bra simply wasn't a complicated one... He really wanted to think that it was the latter one that was right but then again... He knew that it most likely wasn't that. Not that it mattered now though, what mattered was if Yui was going to... well, actually take it off. She would, wouldn't she?
Okay, Yui had known full well that this would have to happen at some point and by no means was she against it, but even so she couldn't keep herself from flushing bright red at the reality of it. Her knee-jerk reflex was to protest, to hide herself because here was someone whose opinion mattered and she had no idea whether or not it would turn out to be positive. But there was no way she could do this without going through these necessary steps... And by now she really wanted to.
Keeping her eyes firmly down, her hair falling forward to hide most of her face, she swallowed hard and forced herself into movement despite the fact that she was almost trembling with nervousness. First one shoulder strap, then the other, and she had to really fight the urge to fold her arms or something as she let the article fall to the floor with the rest of their clothing... or most of it anyway.
What he thought? Honestly? That she was without doubt the most beautiful girl ever, that was what he thought. He would let her know that too, but not right -now-. In half a minute or something... Because what he did right now was to lift her chin slightly with his right hand so he could kiss her. Of course he noticed that she blushed, he could understand it too and even though he wanted to say 'aww' about the whole thing he wouldn't do that. She wouldn't really appreciate it.
So instead he kissed her and brought them a bit closer to stay like that for a little while. Then it was without saying very much at all that the two of them managed to move over to the bed and actually pretty quickly make themselves comfortable. It was all in Jin's head, he knew it was, but for some reason it looked like Yui -fit- in his bed. In this room. As if she was what had been missing and just... Perfect. She really was though; she wasn't too tall, nor was she too short. She had beautiful dark, long hair. Amazing eyes, a genuine smile and pretty teeth. She wasn't too skinny or too fat and her skin was almost white and so... perfect. And she had the best personality ever... Was it too early to say that you loved someone?
Jin carefully lowered himself over Yui a bit before he placed a kiss on her cheek. Even though he (probably) had been the one looking forward to this the most, right now he felt really selfless. He had to make this as good as possible for her, so he couldn't really get -there- yet. But soon, very soon. As he kissed a trail down her neck, Jin let one hand follow the outlines of her body. Her underwear were in the way still, but he wouldn't do anything about that just yet. He was pretty sure that he, once she really had absolutely no clothes on, just wanted to look at her. He wouldn't do that though, at least not now. Maybe if they'd shower together or something at some point. But not tonight.
"You're beautiful," the older of the two whispered then as his hand found its way up again. Would it be too fast? Would it be too sensitive? Jin couldn't help but be a bit worried as he let his hand (that didn't hold him up) run over Yui's breast. He didn't let it stay though, definitely not, only continue up and then try to put some of her hair behind her ear for absolutely no reason at all. It didn't matter now as she was laying down anyway.
Honestly he wanted to go further, he wanted to go further down - let his -hand- go further down but that he was sure of was too early. Way too early. But then again, it wasn't as if he minded doing this, he definitely didn't. Kissing Yui wasn't something that one very well could get bored of.
Now Yui could honestly say that before now, she'd never let anyone touch her like that - not through her clothes or anything, ever. Yuka had teased her for it like she always did, saying that everyone had done it at least once by now, but since Yui herself had never really seen the appeal in letting some boy grab your chest she'd never really thought she was missing out on anything. In truth it wasn't as though she was kicking herself now for having decided so or anything like that - it just took a moment to sort out the strange sensation in her mind. She couldn't quite decide whether or not it was a good thing. Half a second like that was hardly enough for her to even register that something had happened, let alone form an opinion on it...
While she wanted to do something, she really didn't want to move into a position that would keep him from doing anything - this was for both of them after all and she didn't want to be selfish at all. So when she moved to put her hands on his shoulders, it was hesitantly that she did so - something about her saying as it always seemed to that she was all too aware that any step she took had the potential to be a step in the entirely wrong direction.
Probably it was because of that, because of that she was so careful that every single thing she did seemed to be something big. Like now, only feeling her hands on his shoulders made things a bit more exciting. It was a bit funny how things could be so exciting and still move so slowly forward. But it was moving, that was the important thing. Even though he wanted to, he didn't want to make Yui feel awkward - surely you would feel awkward if your partner asked about every single thing all the time? He would at least and that had to mean that Yui would too, or something.
Despite having kissed Yui just a little while ago, it already felt as if eternity had passed since then and it was because of that that Jin again claimed his girlfriend's lips as he let his hand slowly move down again. Actually he was a bit nervous, but he was also pretty sure that it was for absolutely no reason at all. So that when his hand reached her breast again he let it stay there. It was actually a bit weird, but at the same time it was absolutely perfect. She hadn't done this before (in Jin's head at least) and thus maybe she thought of it as weird but as long as he wasn't too rough there was simply no way that she would dislike it. Sure, Jin didn't really know how it felt to be a girl and have someone touch your breasts but... well. She should like it at least!
Yui tensed slightly then, her fingers holding on more tightly to her boyfriend's shoulders - now that it lasted for longer she had time to think about what she thought of this, and while it was definitely strange (something that she attributed to never having felt it before) it wasn't something that she would have said she disliked. In fact it was kind of nice in its own sort of way. Especially since he was so very gentle about it, never doing too much of anything while at the same time he was never in danger of not doing enough.
Wanting to let him know what she thought, that he was definitely allowed to do that more if he wanted to, and yet not wanting to break the kiss yet she instead tried to get the message across by arching her back slightly. She could relax now, she thought, but even so her body refused to do so but for a little; she couldn't really tell whether that was because of what was happening -now- or because she knew what was -going- to happen. Would probably happen any minute now actually, no matter how slow they took things...
To receive such a great reply was more than Jin actually had hoped for. He had assumed she would break the kiss and shake her head or something if she didn't like it but now she even went so far as to do this? There was no way that Jin couldn't be happy about it, happy and even more excited. Things were going to smoothly, everything went just like how things should go when they did something for the first time. For Yui this surely had to be good? It would become a good memory, wouldn't it?
Maybe a minute or two passed, during which Jin didn't do much else. He was really starting to -feel- how he couldn't do this much longer though. He had to do something, he had to actually get further and as he couldn't really find some kind of hint of that it wouldn't be okay, he started to kiss Yui down her neck as his hand moved down to her hip before moving sideways over her underwear. Underwear that would go soon he hoped, it had to. But for now this was okay, wasn't it? Just... this was just a little after all. Here was hoping she liked it... though really, if he was to be honest he couldn't see how she -wouldn't- like it.
At that, there was no way that Yui would be able to repress the gasp that tore from her throat - a soft sound but a sound nonetheless. Embarassed at her own reaction, she turned her head, keeping her eyes shut tight as though by doing so she somehow made him unable to see her in such a vulnerable state. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, there was no way he would've gotten this far otherwise of course, just that she had no idea how to deal with something like this.
Biting down on her lower lip slightly, it was all she could really do to stay still. This was so weird, it felt like she really wanted to move or something but she had no idea why she felt that way or exactly what 'move' meant in this context. It was more to be on the safe side than anything else that she didn't... So weird though. So, so weird. But not in that bad kind of way that most things she would've considered weird really tended to be. It was hard to find words for it even in her head.
Why was it that, even though he didn't do anything to himself, Jin got more and more excited by doing this? Was it just that he was able to, allowed to touch her like this? Or was it something else...? He didn't know and right now it was even a bit difficult to come up with an answer for it, it was too difficult to even think of a possible answer. Things didn't make much sense to him right now, it wasn't possible to think much at all and it was because of that - exactly because of the reason that he didn't think that he stopped what he was doing and instead had it go in under her underwear to continue. Too fast? Maybe, but he didn't -think- of things like that right now.
Breathing heavily, Jin placed quick kisses on Yui's neck before claiming her lips again. That would of course mean that he wouldn't be able to hear her do that -adorable- sound again, but he was pretty sure that just now hadn't been the first and last thing for tonight.