Hiroki (shakkun) wrote in candypop, @ 2008-02-09 20:59:00 |
|
|||
Current mood: | cold |
Current music: | Tohoshinki - TRICK |
8th of February 2008, Ryo and Hiroki
"You're... the best with cooking," Hiroki said once again once he had had some more of the wine and leaned back in the couch. Today had been pretty much perfect. It was definitely perfect and it was actually, somehow, kind of difficult to believe that the two of them had managed to get time to have this moment. To have this -night-. For some reason it felt so -normal- and they... weren't, really. They were working so much as such different times but even so both of them had managed to get tonight off and they... The planning had probably been the best thing about it. It had been as if they could have read eachother's minds or something. It wasn't as if they were celebrating something... tonight was just a normal night really. Except for that they had time to be with each other - that was... actually pretty rare. Normally they got an hour or so, but tonight they'd have... all together, maybe ten hours. Maybe that was worth celebrating?
"Mhmm," he hummed then and leaned slightly to his right so that he could lean against Ryo. He wasn't tired, not at all, he was just... full, and generally happy. He missed Miyuki - of course he did - but right now it was kind of nice to just be with Ryo like this. He was also... drunk, probably. Not too bad though, Hiroki was still very well aware of what he did and said and so on but considering all the glasses of wine (six? seven?) he had had already tonight he was probably a little bit drunk. Not that it mattered much though, what mattered was that -they- had time and they were using it to be -together- and... it was pretty awesome.
Ryo yawned, more out of contentment than anything else, and sank back in the chouch with one eye on the wine glass in his hand. He was holding it wrong, he realised - you're really supposed to hold the neck so that the liquid inside won't get warm, but he was completely ignoring it and holding the cup itself. Not that the liquid inside was ever in there long enough to get even close to warm.
"I know," he muttered in reply, feeling really damn good about himself right now - a feeling that wasn't entirely down to the alcohol, though it did help.
The younger of the two smiled at that, not being able to take notice in how Ryo was being -himself- so much it was... it was nice, actually. Sometimes it happened that it got really annoying but even so it was always nice to hear that he was always being himself even if he was stressed. Not that he was stressed now though - he had been earlier and he probably would be tomorrow but it was -now- that counted and -now- he wasn't stressed at all. Neither was Hiroki - everything was perfect.
"Good," he said and looked at the turned off tv-screen. This was nice, he thought. To sit in the living room like this, be with Ryo like this and not really do anything else but talking... like this. Yes, everything was pretty perfect right now.
"Heh," Ryo mumbled almost unintelligibly, licking his lips before going ahead and draining the rest of the contents of the glass in his hand. Damn but wine was awesome. It really was, so awesome. Like. More awesome than beer, but not all the time 'cause then it'd get boring.
Something to talk about, Ryo wondered to himself. He didn't like silence much, there was bound to be something... and it was only natural, really, what the first thing he thought of was. "Na, Hiro," he started, not looking away from his glass - not out of embarassment but purely because he didn't see much of a reason to. "You're all cool with our sex life right?"
Sex life? What was that all of a sudden?! Hiroki found himself smiling at the question though - thoughts about sex and -their- sex coming to mind. If he was cool with their sex life, why wouldn't he be? It was awesome, it was... it was beyond awesome, really. The sex was always great, no matter if they did it in the shower or in the bedroom or the living room or... almost did it in the studio. It was always okay, really - exciting too!
"Mhmm," he thus hummed in reply and nodded slightly. "I'm all cool~" That wasn't a lie, it wasn't a lie at all. Though if someone was to ask him if it could get better? Then he definitely would say that it could - even if it was only because there was new things to try. He wouldn't say that out loud though, it was embarrassing. ...Just thinking of it was embarrassing and thus he had some more of the drink. As if that would make it go away...
Ryo frowned a bit then, glancing down at his companion. No, he definitely wasn't going to be content with that - he shouldn't have to be after all. He knew for a fact by now that he was pretty damn awesome, not only in bed but also in general. It was only natural to want to hear it!
"Just cool?," he asked, wrinkling his nose a little.
"Mhmm," Hiroki hummed again, not taking notice in the small hint in Ryo's voice. Had he been 110% sober he most likely would have but he couldn't think of that now. No, all he could think of was that... things were really good. Really -cool- and he was happy right now. He and Ryo together in the couch and nothing was going to bother them at all ever and ever and never~ ...maybe he was taking the happiness a bit far now, but that was really how it felt. To him Ryo's question was more of a way to get to hear it once more, kind of like a confirmation. Like he wanted to confirm that it was 'just cool' and not 'awful' or anything. But it wasn't awful, how could it be?!
"Cool~"
Frowning more, Ryo shook his head a bit. That so wasn't okay! It wasn't -cool- that it would be just 'cool' and not 'perfect' like it was -supposed- to be. What could he possibly be doing wrong? Nothing, right? He couldn't think of anything that was wrong, things were pretty awesome as far as he was concerned...
"Not -perfect- then?," he prompted further, sitting up a bit now since this was really beginning to bother him more than was acceptable.
As Ryo sat up, Hiroki did the same and leaned forward to put the glass on the table. Was that a bad thing? That he wanted to change positions like this? It couldn't be, that was just him being a bit... thinking a bit too much about it.
"Hmmm," he hummed though as he turned in the couch and tipped his head to the side while watching his boyfriend. "Jaaa... perfect~" Was he happy now? It as perfect! It really was, it could just get a bit different but who was to say different was the right way to do things? No one, so who knew~
Hiroki leaned a bit closer to Ryo then, just so he'd be able to place a quick kiss on the older one's lips. That was also perfect! Kissing was very perfect~
While that was cool, the kissing thing was all good and all (the only bad thing being that it didn't last long enough), Ryo wasn't content with that. Even while as inebriated as he was, he could tell when he was being humoured, and he didn't like it.
"No no no," he interjected, swallowing a bit to keep his head straight enough to talk. Was there more alcohol? Maybe there was more. "What's not perfect about it?"
Why did he ask that? Hiroki blinked a couple of times and looked at the older one. What would be perfect? Perfect would be if they could openly talk about things like 'I wanna do this...' or 'I wanna try that...', that would be very perfect. Like that time in the shower, then Hiroki had just tried it without asking and the result had been... perfect. But he couldn't do that all the time! Especially not when he wanted -Ryo- to do stuff... but how could he say that? He couldn't say it! That was the only not perfect thing about it, wasn't it? That it was so embarrassing to talk about, and that was none of Ryo's fault. So it was as perfect as it could be, wasn't it?
He wanted to be honest though... he really wanted to be totally, totally honest with Ryo because so many small lies and small things had made things difficult for them already. So honesty was what had to happen but...
"Nn," Hiroki tried eventually and shook his head. "'s nothing big~ Daijoubu ya~" As he said that, things felt a bit better. Because now at least he had managed to convince himself and thus he was sure of that he had managed to convince Ryo as well. He drank some more of the wine and with that emptied the glass before leaning against Ryo again.
Now this was just getting frustrating. A normal guy would probably be content with that, to put it to the back of his mind and pretend that there was really nothing wrong at all - but if there was anything you could not call Ryo, it was a 'normal guy' when it came to these things. Just the -idea- that there could be something -wrong-, he didn't like it at all and thus it was only natural that he'd want to know what it was so he could fix it, right?
"No 's not okay," he argued, not sounding annoyed but just a bit... pouty, if anything. "Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong!," Hiroki argued, meaning it very, very much because... well. There was nothing wrong. He didn't think so at least, it wasn't as if they were normally doing something that bothered him. Maybe you could say that it was the things they -didn't- do that kept on being in the back of his head and from time to time came forth? That probably worked!
"Nothing... nothing is wroooong," he continued then, feeling a bit guilty now that he so obviously had made Ryo bothered by it, maybe even upset... upset wasn't supposed to happen today. It wasn't supposed to happen -ever- because they were perfect and tonight was perfect and... Hiroki just simply had to undo it.
"I was just thinking, right? It's nothin' wrong with anything, everything's really really reeeeeeeally good, don't worry about it~" Okay so maybe he shouldn't have said that first thing but he didn't realise he'd made a mistake with that just yet... he probably would soon though.
Thinking! Exactly! Which meant that if Hiroki had something to be -thinking- about then there was something that Ryo was doing wrong - or else not doing at all. Or doing too much of, or it hardly mattered really. He just needed to know what it was so he could fix it, because things were not supposed to not be perfect.
"Thinkin' about what?," he asked, bordering on a demand but not in an angry tone or anything - he just... really, really wanted to know and it wasn't fair that Hiroki should keep it from him. "C'mon, what?"
It was then that Hiroki realised his mistake and he quickly looked down, frowning slightly as he did. That wasn't good, he realised. Because he didn't want to- he couldn't take back what he had said now and say that there was nothing because that would be lying and he didn't like lying. But at the same time, how could he tell Ryo -that- of all things? He couldn't! There was simply no way that he could actually... say that out loud.
"Nnn...," the younger one hummed then and shook his head slightly. He couldn't say that. There was no way he could... no, no. "Nnnoothin'...," he continued and then turned to look at Ryo. Looking at people should make them more true, even if they weren't! "Nothin'... okay? Mhmm~"
Now Ryo was the kind of guy who knew very well when he was beating a dead horse, so to speak. When there was no way he'd get what he wanted - or in fact anything - out of a conversation. But now, he decided, was not one of those times; whether it be because he'd been drinking or because he was just that stubborn.
"I'll do it y'know," he remarked with the determined air of someone doing something a lot more difficult than just trying to coax their boyfriend into being specific about their sex life. "Whatever you're thinkin' about, just tell me what an' I'll do it." Maybe that was a little damning? It hardly mattered at this point though, there was no way Ryo's ego would let him get this far and then -not- do it.
As he heard that, Hiroki got this weird... weird feeling in his stomach. It felt... it felt really nice but it almost made it hard to sit straight and because of that he quickly looked away from Ryo and instead down on his hands. Was this a bad point at which to get more to drink?
"Bu-but...," he said and glanced at the table, the bottle wasn't empty yet! So, in a lame attempt to act as if everything was perfectly normal, Hiroki leaned forward and poured some more wine into his glass. "But.. there's no-nothing... Re-really..."
Then he drank some and sat back - which might have taken a whole 30 seconds all together and during those -very- long seconds Ryo had said nothing. Whether it was because he didn't know what to say or because he was thinking about what to say Hiroki didn't know, though he definitely thought that he did... know - it was because Ryo knew he was lying. Ryo always knew when he was lying after all. For some reason...
"It...," the younger one started then and was very careful with keeping his eyes down as he spoke now. "It's... embarrassing..." That was true. He couldn't say it, it was embarrassing. Had it been something simple like... that he wanted to top more, or if he wanted Ryo -not- to be so... rough at times, that had been okay. Not that he minded when Ryo were rough though - definitely not. And he didn't mind that Ryo was on top most of the time, but if he had then that would have been cool to say. That would definitely had been okay to say but this... this was... so different. And so... so embarrassing.
Some part of Ryo's mind figured that if it was -that- embarassing, he was going to need more to drink before he did it. Honestly he didn't really -need- any more, but now he'd promised to do it, he had to go through with it, no matter what it was. He was just that kind of guy. And drinking some more could only help, really.
So he leaned forward to get some more wine - emptying the bottle finally - and drained his glass again before he spoke. "Can't be that bad," he remarked. "I know you, an' unless you've gone and got into something like sex with animals or whatever..." He pulled a face at that idea. "...Sorry, but if it's that, no."
Hiroki frowned at that, having sex with animals? Sure, he knew that there were people out there who were freaky enough to actually do that sort of thing but... Ryo couldn't seriously - he wasn't serious, was he? He couldn't seriously believe that...
"Nooo," he finally said then and shook his head. That wasn't... what it was though, even if Ryo would think something so freaky about him that was not what it was. He would never go on and have sex with -animals-. People were enough, Ryo was enough and thus nothing else was needed.
"But..." He didn't want to say this. He didn't want to say it at all because it was so embarrassing and once he- no, if he found out Ryo would most likely just laugh at it too. Why Hiroki didn't know but he probably would.
"Don't...," he hesitantly mumbled after having had some to drink. "Don't... laugh..."
Ryo very nearly took offence to that - since when did he -laugh- about stuff like that? Okay, when it concerned people who had nothing to do with his own sex life, then it could be classed as okay. But laughing at someone who had -everything- to do with it... that was just stupid.
"I'm not gonna laugh, stupid," he assured the younger one in his own special way; moving to lean against his shoulder purely for the added comfort of it. It wasn't that much more comfortable, barely even enough to justify moving at all, but he didn't really care. "Just say it."
Okay so that was... that definitely felt somewhat good, that Ryo promised he wouldn't laugh because then he wouldn't. Unless it was -super- stupid but... but even Hiroki could see how this wasn't. He could see how one might think it was... a bit stupid but not that much so that Ryo would go on and laugh about it when he had promised not to. If he hadn't promised, then he definitely could... probably would...
"Um...," Hiroki started then, having absolutely no... no idea of how to say it. How to -start- saying it, how to... "I... I... have been thinking... a little and...," okay so that part was easy but there were no weird suggestions or hints in those words. But this... "And... and... like..."
The younger of the two lowered his head slightly as he nursed his lip between his teeth. How... was he going to -say- this? He didn't even know what its "real" name was, how was he going to... Well, honestly he probably wouldn't have used its real name even if he -knew- it but...
"...just.. thought about... maybe... like...," he couldn't keep on doing that. Just say a few words, he had to... he had to pull himself together, take a deep breath and... "...a... try like... a new... po-position..."
And he didn't even say all of it now but even so that had been so difficult... Ryo would probably ask which, wouldn't he? And that meant he had to explain and... that was so, so, so much worse than this...
Oh, so positioning was the problem? Well surely that wasn't so bad - Ryo knew for a fact that if -he- wanted to try a new position then he'd either go right ahead and try to steer things that way or else just -ask- straight out. But then again he wasn't the shy type. Neither was Hiroki, not -really-, but when it came to this he definitely could be. Not that that was a bad thing; all part of his charm.
"A'ight," Ryo replied, mostly to show that he was listening but also because he figured it would help things along if he prompted the younger one a little. It usually worked like that after all. "Like what?"
Oh god, now he was asking... now he was asking and now Hiroki should reply and... Well, it was a good thing that Ryo took it well. That he didn't seem to get offended... Because that would have been really bad, that would have ruined this whole night... And this almost did, but only almost because in a way it was good that he would get to say it... Probably.
"Like...," Hiroki started then and swallowed, definitely not looking up at Ryo even once as he was about to speak now. How was... he going to be able to look at him at all after this? It was so, so, so embarrassing. If he'd like to do it? Of course he would, he'd definitely be up for it but... -saying- it? Saying what exactly he wanted? It usually only worked when they were half way there already.
"B...," he wasn't going to describe it, he decided. That was... that was definitely not... that was impossible, but by saying this word he would understand, wouldn't he? Ryo usually understood everything... "Be... behin...d..." So, so, so, so embarrassing. If Hiroki died now it would definitely be from embarrassment. Good god so embarrassing.
Ryo blinked, turning the idea over in his head a few times. It didn't seem like it could do either of them any harm - indeed it didn't seem like anything that would hurt his ego, either, which was a very important part of deciding whether or not he was okay with something.
"Okay," he thus replied, his one word seeming a little anticlimactic next to just how much of a big deal it had suddenly become. But hey, maybe this would make things better between them! It wasn't good not to be completely happy with the physical aspect of a relationship after all, and hell, maybe now Hiroki would realise that it wasn't forbidden to -ask- for stuff. "I'm up for that if that's what you want."
...it didn't even... it didn't even sound as if he was -trying- to hold back a laugh. Hiroki almost looked up at Ryo then, though realised before he actually did so what he was -about- to do and thus looked down again. That... that was a good thing and now he felt so relieved it was almost silly. Why was it that he had such a hard time talking about this stuff when Ryo found it so easy? It wasn't fair, it must be so much easier when you were more like Ryo...
"Ii no?," he asked then though, wanting - no, needing to hear that it was okay one more time. Then it would be enough because... because well, he trusted Ryo. He trusted him now already but it was a bit... After being so afraid to bring it up and having such a hard tim telling it almost felt a bit silly... that Ryo... would be okay with it just like that. Of course it was a good thing! Definitely, but... just a bit surprising.
Ryo grinned, confidence coming off him in waves at this point. Though that was hardly surprising, after all he was Nishikido Ryo and thus deserved to be confident - he had a whole bunch of stuff to be confident -in- unlike some stupid conceited people out there. ... Welcome to the inside of his head after he's been drinking for a while; no it doesn't ever make a whole lot of sense. Unless of course it pertains to sex.
"Sure, why not," he shrugged. "Could be fun."
Fun? Did the thought of how -great- it could be, even cross Ryo's mind? Hiroki blinked slightly as he drank some of the wine in his glass once more before slowly, slowly looking up at the older one. He felt so small right now, small and insecure and just... maybe even a bit scared? Though of what he didn't know. Not of how -that- would be, once they'd do it, when it came down to that he was probably more excited but... just now he had said something really embarrassing and...
"...is it weird?," he thus asked - wanting to know if maybe Ryo thought of him as weird because of this. Well, howelse would he know? Hiroki had never been in such a serious and long relationship before and he didn't really read that much about relationships and stuff. Even if he would though, he wouldn't believe it to 100%, there was no way it could be perfectly right. And he didn't really talk to, let's say Kamenashi Kazuya about how his and Tomohisa's sex life was, simply because it was none of his business. So... there was no way that Hiroki could know if this was normal or not... maybe it was weird to talk about things like that like this? Maybe it was something you didn't talk about at all, but simply -did-...
Tipping his head to the side a little, Ryo thought about the answer to that question for a moment. Was it weird? Well, he personally didn't think it was. And if there was anyone to ask about whether or not something was weird, he was pretty sure it was him. Thus, in conclusion...
"No," he replied, with all the necessary conviction in his voice. "I mean, it ain't something I've done before or anything..." Remind him -why- he hadn't done that before, actually? "...But a bunch of people do it so it can't be weird."
A bunch of people... of course, now that Ryo said it, it made sense that a lot of people would be doing it. From where would Hiroki have gotten the idea if he didn't know that people -did- it? Now Ryo probably thought he was stupid or something...
"Sorry...," he apologized then as he looked down at the liquid in his glass, feeling that he actually sort of had to apologize for being so stupid and so... well, shy all of the sudden. He didn't actually -mean- to, it just happened. It wasn't anything he could control or do anything about because... well, if he tried it just came out all wrong and weird and... "For... being weird..."
Ryo grinned, getting out of nowhere a strange feeling of just general awesomeness. Tonight had been awesome so far, being able to stay home and eat and just be together with Hiroki - something that really didn't (couldn't) happen that often, at least not anymore.
"Hi~ro, look," he sing-songed in almost a cheerful kind of way, having the younger one look up at him. He didn't plan on saying any more though, at least not for right now - this made extremely obvious as he leaned in to make absolutely certain that Hiroki wasn't going to be saying anything either.
As he felt Ryo's lips against his own, Hiroki couldn't help but smile slightly. This was... like -that-. It didn't happen as much anymore, but from time to time this feeling came over him when they kissed. It was pretty much similar to what he had felt every single time they had kissed just after they had gotten together. It was... it had to be happiness, he thought. Because it wasn't as if it was a -new- feeling or anything, but he just felt it a bit stronger every now and then even though it was always there. And right now he definitely felt... very happy.
Hiroki hummed into the kiss as he moved slightly - making sure he wouldn't have to break it or anything as he put his glass on the table. This was... it was... it had been very embarrassing. It had been very embarrassing to say all that just now but then Ryo did this and... it all went away. Suddenly everything was actually... very, very good and not even a little bit embarrassing.
Taking Hiroki's lead and putting his own glass back on the table as well, Ryo brought up one hand to run it through the younger one's hair. It had been a while since they'd had any sort of time for this, and the older one was absolutely determined to make the most of it.
Gently he bit down on his boyfriend's lower lip, grinning inwardly. He was glad he'd said he'd do this now - it really did sound like a whole lot of fun.
He was used to that, to Ryo biting down like that but usually that meant... usually that meant something that Hiroki hadn't thought of at all. While he had been thinking about positions and all that, he hadn't thought of that he and Ryo would do it -now-. All he had thought was that they were going to kiss and then... then that was it but as Ryo bit down on his lip... He only ever did that when... when he wanted more than kissing. Not that Hiroki would mind if they went further but...
...he had said he'd do it, hadn't he? Had Hiroki had his eyes opened, he would have blinked as he realised that - Ryo had said he'd do it unless it was something weird and this wasn't weird and thus... As he realised that, Hiroki changed his position slightly so that he sat on his knees and kissed back again, suddenly very... very excited about this whole thing. He had been excited earlier but realising that he would... that was so, so awesome.
On the other hand, Ryo hadn't even entertained the possibility of -not- doing it now - he knew that there were things (very important things at that) that he'd had in his head since forever and they just hadn't had time to do yet... Those things would happen, of course, but he didn't want something like this to get put off. Why? Because then it would seem like he was trying to get out of it. Ryo's ego wouldn't let him suffer that.
After a few moments - long enough to enjoy the whole kissing thing without having it last too long - he pulled back and licked his lips with a distinctly pleased grin on his face.
"C'mon," he muttered, standing up and offering the younger one his hand. "No room in here."
Hiroki didn't object - didn't even think about objecting - as he grabbed Ryo's hand and together with him left the living room. He was getting a bit nervous now, he'd be able to do this right wouldn't he? There wasn't many ways in which it could be done, it was really just the same thing they always did - only he would... he wouldn't be laying on his back. That was the only difference really, so it couldn't be very difficult. ...But even so he was getting nervous.
For some reason he wanted to say something, but as the door closed (which had become a habit after they had gotten Miyuki, closing the door) behind them he wasn't given a chance before they kissed again. Hiroki couldn't help but wonder then, as he leaned forward and held his arms around the shorter one (though Hiroki himself barely noticed this). Was it like this with girls too? Did girls react and do things like this too? He wasn't sure of where, but he had, at one point, heard something about girls being very picky about this whole foreplay thing. Himself he didn't actually need it - to him this was foreplay enough. Making out like this, it was definitely enough. Maybe tonight was special though - he knew exactly what he'd get now after all, he knew they'd do something he'd only dared to think about... Any idea of how exciting that was? Very.
While Ryo was in pretty much of a hurry to get to the 'good part', this was something he hadn't done before. He was pretty confident in his ability to do it right, but even so it made no sense to rush into and out of something new like that... While he'd never been the best at making sex last (he could if he really wanted to, just that generally he didn't), he at least didn't want this to be over in five minutes. That would be boring.
Without a second thought about it, Ryo slid his hands under Hiroki's shirt, noticeably not in so much of a hurry as he might usually have been. In fact, -usually- he would have skipped this and just gotten the stupid piece of material -off- at the earliest opportunity. It was quite nice deviating from the norm sometimes.
Hiroki smiled into the kiss as he felt Ryo's hands against his skin. For some reason, always when they did things like this and Ryo touched parts of him that wasn't his arms or his hands, for some reason it always made him more excited. Was that weird?
Following the older one's example, he let his both hands slip in under Ryo's shirt, thinking very much about that he didn't want to separate from him just yet. They'd soon have to though, he knew that but not just yet.
Ryo grinned inwardly as he felt the reciprocal movement, loving how everything the two of them did at this point seemed to fit - it always did, in fact. Some couples were horribly uncoordinated, ended up making these things either painful or just no fun at all... He would've thought that they were lucky in that way if he hadn't been so very convinced that the two of them had been created with each other in mind.
Breaking the kiss for breath after a moment or so, the older one wasn't happy with there suddenly being less contact between them and thus immediately moved for the taller one's neck; his hands running up and down Hiroki's sides as though trying to memorise every detail. Ryo had done this so many times by now that had you asked him to make a life-sized sculpture of Hiroki from memory, it probably would be an easy task.
Even though he wanted to, there was no way that Hiroki would actually be able to do anything other than enjoying this right now. He wanted to... to... take Ryo's shirt off of him, he wanted to get further than this but how would he be able to? He had no idea. He couldn't think very straight right now. If one was to look at how big of a part it was of the whole thing, these kisses down his neck most likely were considered small - Hiroki knew this. But even so he couldn't help but let out a small moan as he tipped his head back. He was still holding Ryo, of course was there was no way he'd ever let go, but more than that he didn't know. He -wanted- to, he really did but... but this was so great. It was... really great.
Satisfied with that, Ryo pulled back again - not far though, just far enough to tug at the bottom of Hiroki's shirt, which evidently gave the younger one the right idea as between them they had it off within moments. Yet another example of their movements, and therein the thoughts behind them being in tune.
Now Ryo wasn't exactly sure how one usually went about this; since face-to-face (or in other words, the missionary position) was generally how they did things, that was where their foreplay element generally left them. But then, he wasn't the one who'd been thinking about it... for a change. So maybe Hiroki would know?
Ryo probably would have asked if only he weren't having -so- much fun right now.
Hiroki however didn't think of -that- as much, at least not yet. He'd always... he'd turn around when they got down to it. He'd help out with that later if it would be needed, but right now that... that wasn't what was going to happen. It was way too soon for that so instead of bothering with things like that, Hiroki pulled slightly at the older one's shirt before claiming his lips once more. That action right now, obviously spoke for that he wanted Ryo to get rid of the stupid shirt which normally was okay but right now was nothing else but slightly irriatating. It was too close to Ryo and Hiroki -wasn't-. But even though he wanted that he went on and kissed him again - maybe a bit stupid, to make it not possible to pull the shirt over his head like this but... But...
A reason wasn't really needed, was it? Hiroki didn't claim to make much sense right now. He wanted, no he -needed- Ryo right now and there was simply no way he'd go on and actually - willingly - be apart from him. Simply no way.
Ryo grinned inwardly, finding it rather amusing that Hiroki would make such an obvious hint and then go right ahead and make it impossible to act on it... just like the younger one, really, not to make sense at such times. And Ryo could understand it too; if he knew he was about to get something he'd been fantasising about (because that was basically what was going on here, right?), he was pretty sure he wouldn't make a whole lot of sense himself.
And that was why he pulled away, before that moment that seemed to dictate when a kiss should end; leaving a strange sort of gap in the air as though something were unfinished. Like the feeling you get when someone stops talking midsentence, strange and incomplete. But within a moment Ryo had his shirt off, discarding it to some corner of the room carelessly before setting about finishing up - it didn't do to leave things hanging after all.
For a moment Hiroki had been about to ask 'what are you doing', though before he got the chance Ryo kissed him again and within seconds he had forgotten all about it. This was what he needed, he realised, he needed to be able to hold his hands against the older one's back and not feel a shirt being there too. He needed to feel Ryo's skin against his own, he needed...
He needed air. Unwillingly breaking away from the kiss, Hiroki quickly decided that unless he could do that he would still kiss Ryo and thus moved to the neck instead. Without really thinking much about what he did as long as he got what he wanted, Hiroki moved his hands further down and hooked his thumbs in Ryo's backpockets. He did that a lot actually, though most of the time he was actually thinking of it - right now though, he just wanted to be close to Ryo. Closer... actually. A lot closer... he would get there. He would. Really! Maybe not now though.
Grinning unabashedly, Ryo tipped his head back slightly to expose more of his neck - bluntish fingernails raking lightly up the younger one's back for some moments as he just allowed himself to enjoy it.
He couldn't not -do- anything though, of course not. That was really not like him and besides that he just didn't want to; so it was just a moment later that he moved his hands to work on the fastenings of the taller one's pants. He couldn't just wear sweatpants, could he? No, whenever they had time for something like this there were always fastenings in the way - but oh well. It was kind of fun undoing them, unless they decided to be stupid and catch and not be easy to undo because that was just annoying.
Now that some time had passed, Hiroki figured was a perfect time to go back to kissing his boyfriend's lips and thus did so. If it wasn't now then it wouldn't be perfect and Hiroki wanted for things to be absolutley perfect so why would he not do it? Exactly, no reason.
He couldn't help but smile slightly as he felt Ryo's hands starting to undo his belt - for some reason that always made him happy. It made him excited and normally he would just go with that but right now, now when they were going to do -that-, the word excited just wasn't enough. There was so much more to it - this feeling, it was probably this way it felt when a dream came true, or was about to come true. It was probably... most likely like this because he was just -so- excited right now and... He had to do it too, he realised. He had to help Ryo out to get out of his pants if he was going to get any of what he wanted so, with one hand still on Ryo's behind, Hiroki tried to undo the older one's belt with the other hand. It was really difficult though, but he didn't want to let go... he didn't want to -not- hold on to Ryo.
Noticing Hiroki's reluctance to let go, Ryo chuckled inwardly, finding the younger one's uncharacteristic enthusiasm extremely amusing. And that right there was a whole lot of long words that totally didn't fit the situation at all. That was pretty funny too... Okay, maybe Ryo shouldn't be thinking so much after having some to drink.
Pulling back from the kiss, Ryo grinned and licked his lips, tugging abruptly on the belt as it finally came open. "Na...," he muttered with a distinctly amused note to his voice. "I'm not gonna run away if you let go for a sec, y'know..."
Hiroki looked up at that, of course getting embarrassed that Ryo felt he had to -say- that... Feeling how his cheeks heated up, Hiroki reluctantly let go and instead put both of his hands on Ryo's beltbuckle. Even if he was embarrassed there was no way he'd be able to, like - back up and be -that- embarrassed. He was way too excited, looked forward to this way too much to do something like that... He nodded though, and avoided the older one's eyes by looking down at his hands... Ryo's belt... Ryo's... pants.
The younger one couldn't help but smile slightly as he took notice in how the pants definitely seemed to be a bit tighter than he remembered them being. For some reason that made him kind of happy - to notice things like that. It was perfectly normal and natural and it wasn't very much of a surprise anymore but... Hiroki hummed slightly as he, surprisingly calmly started to undo Ryo's belt. Somehow it seemed very easy... that was weird.
Ryo chuckled slightly as he followed the taller one's eyeline, seemed to notice as he got a little happy - Hiroki had this aura around him that changed as he felt differently, Ryo found. He'd never heard anyone else talking about things like that, so he'd never mentioned it out loud, but he could pretty much always feel it.
As he got Hiroki's pants open, Ryo decided to be just a little bit... well. Like him, really. And thus he didn't go for getting them out of the way immediately but slid one hand inside - ignoring it as the zipper scratched his wrist. It wasn't like it would be there long anyway. "Having fun there, Hiro?"
A small gasp left Hiroki's lips at that - he hadn't expected that -at all- and... and... it was really difficult to focus right now. Hiroki blinked a couple of times as he nodded slightly, seeing absolutely no reason -not- to answer this question.
"N... nn...," he hummed. It was a bit difficult though, he couldn't deny that but even so... he was always honest. He had to be and now... Feeling Ryo's hand like that, it was... He bit his lip slightly as he forced himself to focus on Ryo's belt as he still was in the middle of undoing it. It had to be undone soon... soon, because... Why did it feel as if it had been forever since Ryo touched him? Had it been? It must have, otherwise he wouldn't find it so... so... amazing, would he? Or maybe it was like this everytime...
While Ryo had pretty much foreseen that kind of reaction, it didn't stop him from enjoying it a hell of a lot - he wouldn't have done it otherwise. And now, while he had initially planned just to do this for a moment, having the results right in front of him made it difficult to stop.
Leaning in again, he placed a few butterfly kisses on the younger one's neck, tightening his fingers momentarily but otherwise keeping his one occupied hand pretty much completely still. "Better hurry up..." If he knew just how maddening he was being right now? Hell yes he did - Ryo was pretty damn good at being mean without being really -mean-, especially in this kind of situation.
Why did Ryo do things like these? It was... just by doing that he made it so difficult for Hiroki to do other things - it was so difficult to think and to -concentrate- on anything else that -wasn't- how nice it felt to feel Ryo's hand...
"Ngh...," the younger one mumbled then, nodding slightly as he tipped his head slightly back. He was supposed to do stuff, he knew he was, but right now it was difficult. It was -difficult- to do anything besides enjoying this... He knew though, he knew very well that Ryo most likely wouldn't... do it for long and that he was just teasing. That didn't make it any easier to ignore though - probably that just added to why he wanted to enjoy it. It was... it was beyond awesome, it was...
"...Ryochan...," why did he say that? He didn't know. It sounded needy, he knew it did. Especially considering they still had their pants -on- but... then again, wasn't he? He was pretty sure he actually was quite needy and... Ryo of all people definitely knew this already. If not then it wasn't -that- big of a deal that he found out. At least not now, maybe it would be later.
"Right here...," Ryo answered almost immediately, his voice so low that it came out as more of a purr than anything else - and why shouldn't he? This was just... way too much fun. And nothing had even happened yet; he knew for a fact that the fun on an intellectual level lasted about until the 'main event' at which point fun on a -physical- level took right over... so he was determined to enjoy this kind while it lasted.
"But this is your thing..." The older one grinned, withdrawing his hand in favour of placing it on Hiroki's hip instead - always a favourite part. "...So I wonder why you're taking so -long- over it..." Letting his lips kiss a trail up the younger one's neck and over his jawline almost to his ear, Ryo continued in a tone only just barely above a whisper. "...Don't you want to anymore..?"
Hearing Ryo's voice so close was so... even such a small thing like that was exciting. The way his voice sounded when he was so close, when he was whispering, when...
"Nn...," Hiroki hummed in reply then and lamely attempted to actually get Ryo's pants open. He didn't want to be slow, he didn't want to take -long- but this was so great as it was. To think of that it was going to get even better? Sure it was possible but even so it was a bit difficult to think of right now that Ryo was already so close and... Hiroki closed his eyes and swallowed as he finally managed to unbutton Ryo's jeans. That was it... wasn't it? He didn't have to do more now, did he? So much concentration was needed, it was so difficult to... to actually get down to doing it.
Biting his lower lip as he smirked in a decidedly pleased sort of way, Ryo felt that now would be an excellent time to divest both of them of one more piece of clothing. He didn't do anything to his own first of all though, in favour of tugging at Hiroki's pants until they fell down to his ankles.
"Much better...," he mumbled, not quite sure why he was talking so much at such a time but not really prepared to stop unless he absolutely had to. It was good to have communication after all, wasn't it? Couples without communication couldn't stay together, and now was a very important time to have it if you asked him.
Now they were getting closer, weren't they? They were... really getting closer now, they were soon -at- that point but for that to happen Ryo needed to get undressed too... Suddenly very eager that they'd get rid of their last clothing as soon as possible, Hiroki pulled down the zipper of Ryo's pants and then pulled slightly at them so they fell down to the floor.
"Mhmm," Hiroki hummed in reply then as he leaned slightly forward in an attempt to claim Ryo's lips again. Himself he didn't mind Ryo talking, he didn't mind it at all, it just wasn't that he was very talkative himself. He probably could be normally - maybe he would be - but there was so much else going on in his head right now. Like, thinking about that they were going to... soon, any minute now they were... In -that- way.
Quite relieved now that he didn't have way-too-tight pants pressing into him (if you've never had a metal zipper pressed against a very sensitive part of you -that- hard, you're lucky), Ryo uttered something under his breath that was almost a growl before capturing Hiroki's lips one more time.
The devil makes work for idle hands, or so they say - Ryo was highly against them being idle at such a time, anyway, and grabbed the younger one's hips as though to hold the two of them against one another. His thumbs moved under the waistband of the one piece of material still keeping them apart as though determined to still keep doing -something- until Hiroki made it obvious just how they were going to get to what they'd talked about.
Hiroki realised too that they were getting very, very close to -that- right now. Question only was where he was going to... stand. Where they were... going to do it. Ryo would have to stand - that much was obvious but even so... it was a bit difficult.
As he suddenly had so much to think about, the younger one blinked slightly and broke the kiss in order to kiss Ryo's neck instead. Wasn't the best thing to do, just to stand on all four on the bed, close to the edge and... It was just seconds away, wasn't it? Was it silly to get this excited about something like that? Was it... normal to be?
Wanting to get down to it already, Hiroki pulled slightly at Ryo's underwear. He wouldn't pull them down yet though, not before he was sure Ryo wanted to go on like he did... maybe he wanted to wait a bit longer. And if so Hiroki could do that, he could wait a little while longer. A minute or so...
"Nng...," Ryo murmured, a pleased note definitely obvious in his voice. He wasn't sure why Hiroki was waiting, why he still felt as though he needed confirmation that it was okay to do these things - and don't ask Ryo how he knew that was why the younger one hesitated because he wouldn't be able to answer.
"I said... this is your thing... remember..?," he asked lowly, moving to tug at Hiroki's underwear; trying to get them down without moving too much because he was still enjoying this. Luckily for him it wasn't all that difficult. "And you, ah... Want to get there... right..?" Licking his lips, Ryo lightly ran his fingertips over the newly displayed flesh. "So stop thinking about me so much..."
Maybe that was why the two of them were so perfect for each other? Because no matter if they talked or not, they were still... they could still tell what the other one was thinking. Sure, mostly it was Ryo figuring out what Hiroki was thinking but even so it happened every now and then that Hiroki managed too. When it mattered he knew, and that was... well, what mattered, wasn't it?
"Mhmm," he hummed in reply, not even bothering with asking for some kind of 'permission' before he pulled down Ryo's underwear. Now they were... they were -there- weren't they?
Hiroki felt how his heart suddenly beat faster in his chest (or maybe he just noticed it now) as he backed up against the bed - of course making Ryo come with him as he did. As he felt the edge against his legs he looked up though, for some reason definitely feeling as if he had to make sure with Ryo that it was okay... that he hadn't changed his mind. But... it was okay, wasn't it?
Even though he'd -just- told Hiroki to stop thinking about -him- so much, Ryo couldn't help but find the look he got then absolutely adorable. He knew what to do in reply, of course - he didn't have to say anything. In fact he was pretty sure that the two of them could get by pretty well even if they never said a word to one another.
So all he did was give an encouraging grin, a positive gesture that collated to a positive answer. As if he'd get this far and then back down? No, no, Nishikido Ryo simply wasn't that kind of person. At this point, he'd still do it even if he didn't want to anymore... he wasn't as nasty as to let himself be that selfish.
This felt so different, it was so different from what they usually did so to actually turn around now... Hiroki couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable. Turning his back to Ryo, he didn't like doing things like that. He didn't like... doing it at all, but it was needed for this to get good, for this to actually happen and Ryo wanted to do it too so...
It was difficult. Even a bit humiliating that he had to get on the bed, move to the middle -alone- and then actually stand up... like that. Though he felt a bit better as he felt how Ryo followed, obviously not letting him wait for too long. That was good... that was very good, but this was still so weird... once they'd... actually do it it probably would be the last thing on his mind though, that it felt -weird- but... right now he couldn't help but think it over and over again; this was so awkward. He still wanted to do it though.
It felt strange that so much space should be between them - that Ryo shouldn't be able to see Hiroki's face was really, really weird. It wasn't particularly a bad thing of course, but it meant that instead of kneeling up, he instead leaned forward some so that his chest came almost flush with the younger one's back.
"You comfy?," he asked, genuinely meaning it - sometimes he asked things like that sarcastically, like pretty much everyone does, but this would all be for nothing if Hiroki didn't enjoy it... and how would he enjoy it if the position he was in wasn't comfortable?
Hiroki nodded, not even for a second thinking that Ryo wouldn't be serious with that. He hadn't done this before either after all, he needed to make sure everything was alright too and... and your partner always had to be comfortable for things to be right. If he or she wasn't, it wouldn't be good after all... Standing like this was weird though, it was weird not being able to look up at Ryo - not being able to look at him at all. He could feel him and all, of course he could... but it wasn't the same. This would be good though, wouldn't it? People wouldn't do this if it wasn't good, right? He wouldn't... really imagine this being -so- good if it wasn't...
"Good," the older one muttered in reply, more to let Hiroki know that he'd understood than anything else - it was more difficult to get a message across without being able to see facial expressions. One of Ryo's favourite parts and he wouldn't get to see any of it... such a waste.
Wanting to give some warning, something that could be felt since it couldn't be seen, Ryo let one hand slide down Hiroki's back slowly before he even thought about starting to prepare him. it didn't look like the younger one would really need that much preparation this time, he'd seemed -so- excited about this after all... but just skipping it altogether was completely out of the question as far as Ryo was concerned.
The younger one lifted his head slightly and tensed as he felt Ryo having one finger enter him. It wasn't something he hadn't felt before but even so... in this position everything suddenly was different - Ryo had done things like that before but it felt different now, it was... it was different. Why he didn't really know but it almost felt as if it was... as if he had to get used to all this all over again... Not that he minded - it was a nice feeling after all. But even so...
Slowly lowering his head again, Hiroki breathed heavily - for some reason feeling as though he was holding back. As if he was controlling himself from doing something... what he didn't know though. Probably nothing, he thought, probably it was all his imagination... but still.
He wanted more than this though...
"Ryo...," he mumbled, not quite sure of why. He wanted... he just wanted to say his name. He wanted more of him, he... faster. It had to happen faster, no matter how awkward it felt right now.
Ryo leaned in closer, licking his lips that were suddenly so dry. It was a strange feeling, not knowing what to do - something he didn't remember experiencing during sex for an extremely long time. Probably not since around their first few times, before they'd managed to work out what made it good - what to do and what not to do. Before that it had all been guesswork, they hadn't yet worked out how to fit together... And now they had to try to fit a completely new kind of way. Ryo knew they could do it, of course. He just wasn't sure how.
"Talk to me," he muttered, trying to keep as still as possible right now. "I've never done this before either... And I can't see you from here... So I can't tell if you like something or if it's hurting you unless you let me know..." He noticed then that his breathing had gotten slower - not calmer, but as though he was forcing himself to take deep breaths and hadn't noticed all this time. "...Okay, Hiro..?"
"Mhmm," Hiroki replied immediately, nodding slightly to further show he was listening. Even though one might think it would, it didn't feel weird at all that Ryo talked to him like that. For some reason it made him feel... well, it made him love Ryo a bit more. It showed so well that he -cared- and while Hiroki knew that he did... getting it proved to you never hurt. He knew Ryo loved him too, but even so his heart skipped a beat every single time he actually said it.
"More...," he whispered then and took a deep breath. He was already getting used to this. It was really... different but at the same time kind of nice. Nice in a way he had no idea of how to describe but it really...
"It's good..."
Personally Ryo wasn't all that bothered about whether it was a 'normal' thing or not to talk at this point. He had to, didn't he? The two of them were following one another blindly into something neither one had experienced before, and to do that properly they needed to communicate. It was only common sense if you asked him... Sure, it was pretty obvious -he- was going to enjoy this, being on top and all. But despite- no, -because- of that, he had to make sure that Hiroki enjoyed himself too. The last thing Ryo wanted to do was hurt him.
But since the answer he got was positive, Ryo told himself that it was alright before taking the cue and adding another finger alongside the first... perhaps more gently than he might normally have.
Hiroki let out a heavy breath at that and once again lifted his head to tip it back slightly. This was so... good, it was so... so different. It was quite interesting how things could feel different like this just by changing the position. If the rest of tonight would be as good as this was, then he definitely would want to do it again and he would want to try other things too - other positions. Have Ryo decide something... If nothing else because he wanted to give something back to the older one after this - he wanted to do something for him.
Right now though, right -now- he wanted absolutely nothing more but...
"...Ryochan...," he mumbled - for some reason, always in moments like this, wanting to say Ryo's name as much as possible. "Faster... do it... faster..."
Now if one thought that at this point it was easy for Ryo to keep going as he was, that would be horribly wrong. While he would hold on and wait until he thought Hiroki was ready, hearing him like that... feeling the younger one around his fingers and knowing just how incredible that was going to be for other parts of him, it got really difficult sometimes. Right now? Definitely one of those times.
Taking a deep, shaking breath that he managed to keep somewhat silent, Ryo did as he was told and moved his fingers some before adding a third. He didn't have to ask Hiroki to let him know when he was ready - that much was obvious by now... couldn't hurry him, definitely not. If there was any chance of really hurting him then Ryo absolutely would not do it. He wasn't into the whole pain deal, and as far as he knew, neither was Hiroki.
This was getting better for each and every second. And this wasn't even -Ryo-, it would feel so much better once Ryo actually... once he would actually enter him. It was... that was always such an amazing feeling. It was always awesome, it was always amazing even though it -always- hurt a little bit in the beginning. That was okay because it would get a lot better eventually. He didn't really think that this position was an exception to that, but maybe it would feel different once that 'eventually' came around. Probably it would feel different if it already did and once that happened...
Hiroki breathed heavily as he lowered his head slightly and closed his eyes. This was... was so awesome already. Normally one might think that he'd be embarrassed by standing like this but... he wasn't. He definitely wasn't, it didn't even occur to him that maybe it would be seen as a weird position to be in. Not anymore... there was too much awesome to concentrate on.
Finally feeling as though he could progress to the next stage, Ryo continued for a few extra moments as something of a safety precaution (an expert on safety during sex he was most certainly not, but a guy can only do what he's capable of and right now it seemed like a good idea) before withdrawing his hand and moving to take the correct position. Or, well, what felt like the correct position. This way seemed the most comfortable at least.
"You ready?," he asked, his voice taking on something of a drawn quality as most of his effort was used up by -waiting- for the -answer- to the question before doing anything. These few seconds were always the... well. -Almost- the most difficult.
Hiroki didn't hesitate even a second before he hummed in reply and even went so far as to nod slightly. He was definitely read for this, he was -so- ready... that Ryo wouldn't have had to ask. But then again, if he hadn't asked then that would have felt pretty weird. So he was grateful that he did.
"De...," he mumbled then, not quite sure why he was having such a hard time to speak. "Definitely... ready..." There was no real reason to why he had said that, he probably didn't have to let Ryo know now as he'd nodded and hummed but even so he... he wanted to let him know. Let him know that it wasn't just 'a little ready' or 'just ready' but that... it was more than that.