shigeaki (shigeaki) wrote in candypop, @ 2008-01-20 05:38:00 |
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Current mood: | tired |
19th of January 2008, Jin, Shigeaki, Aki, Yui and Rika.
Jin took a deep breath as he looked at the rest of the people around the big table. Before him sat Aragaki Yui, 19 years old. Next to her, Deguchi Aki, 20 years old and Kanon Yuka who was 18. Next to Yuka were a Yaguchi Seira who was 18 as well. The guys were people he knew, but even so... Koike Teppei 21. Masuda Takahisa 21 and Kato Shigeaki 20.
"Well...," he started then and cleared his throat to buy himself some time. This was actually a bit frustrating. Normally age wasn't something that bothered him all that much, he was used with being a year older than his friends and so on - or a year younger or the same age. But suddenly he practically was an 'ossan' compared to those girls. Girls that he was supposed to, possibly, hook up with? They were kids!
"Akanishi Jin, 21 years old..."
First was Teppei, then Takahisa.
"Oi! You're not 21," Shigeaki commented once Teppei had told the girls his correct age, which was 23.
So far they had just met with the girls and they were just now finished with the introductions. But even so he could feel that this would end up great. Even if Jin was like this, that meant he was somewhat comfortable and if Shigeaki was to be honest he had been mostly worried about this guy. He didn't hang out with him much after all - that he had replied to the mail had been nothing but pure luck, he thought. But, with this they'd be able to get closer perhaps and maybe they'd get to find themselves a girlfriend. Though, if Shigeaki was to be completely honest he couldn't picture himself with any of these girls no matter how pretty they were. Aki was just his friend, just like Yui. And Siera and Yuka were both pretty but... they weren't Rika. Though, like Yui had said. If nothing else then at least they'd have gotten new friends. There was nothing wrong with having friends.
Yui smiled, amused by Jin's attempt to disguise his age - he was so famous, was there really much of a point in trying to hide something like that when everyone already knew? Perhaps he was embarassed to be the oldest... Though she really couldn't see why. Personally Yui had had no idea how old he was, she'd never had that much of an interest in KAT-TUN, but even so it was kind of funny.
"I wouldn't have known otherwise," she commented, her polite compliment acting as something of a consolation prize of sorts.
Aki thought she could honestly say she'd never been so nervous in her life. Fiddling with the hem of her skirt under the table, so that nobody would be able to see, she looked periodically up at Jin and then back down at the table. How was she supposed to believe it?! There he was, Akanishi Jin, sitting right there in front of her... She could've reached out and touched him if she didn't know that that would be a silly thing to do.
Without thinking much about it, she shot Yui a momentary dirty look - which the younger girl didn't seem to notice - for having thought to say something nice like that when Aki herself hadn't. It hardly mattered though. It wasn't -her- connected to him by the red thread, so no matter what she did, it wouldn't work.
At the comment, Jin glanced up at Yui and couldn't help but smirk at her. She was just like they had said, it seemed, polite and calm. At least that was what she appeared to be so far. She looked very much like a person who really stood with both feet on the ground and no matter how famous she'd get she wouldn't lose it and become some bitch a'la Sawajiri Erika. Who, apparently was like a wax apple if one was to believe what Ryo said, looks nice, but god help you if you fuck up and take a bite. But maybe now wasn't the best time to think of that guy.
"Why thank you," he said to Yui then but she didn't get much of a chance to reply before Yuka caught his attention by asking a question about university. And she seemed serious too, that was the scary part. Did she think he went to university?
"I don't go to school," Jin replied and shook his head. "Apart from studying in America it's been ages since I've been there... Shige does though! Right?"
"Uh," Shigeaki looked at Jin, slightly surprised that he would bring that up but nodded in reply before looking at the girls again. "Yeah, I go to Aoyama... Majoring law..." And it was almost as if those had been some kind of magical words before Yuka started asking more questions, bringing Takahisa into the conversation as well. It went on smoothly though, it was nice to meet people he didn't know and not be afraid of that they'd try to read him or anything. This was all kinds of nice actually. The place was cosy too, fairly small so that it wouldn't be too busy and it wasn't as if it was one of those places you normally hung out at... Maybe Yui had used to come here a lot as a child, or before she got very famous - she had been the one to pick it after all.
Yui glanced at Yuka, not taking part in the question-asking but just observing as questions were asked and answered. It was always easier - and faster - to find things out about people this way, she'd found, since Yuka was incredibly good at asking lots of questions very quickly. Yui herself didn't have such an ability... but she had others, which she was grateful for, so it wasn't so bad.
Looking up at the two males who weren't currently part of the conversation, Yui smiled and went to say something - only to be stopped by a sharp jab from her right side.
"So!," Aki piped up, smiling brightly - nothing about her demeanour betraying her as she very carefully ignored Yui's questioning glance. That was all part of the plan after all, if this silly pretty thing started saying stupid idol stuff then Jin might get confused and start thinking the wrong thing; female idols were like that! Stealing away the men from those who truly deserved them, their soulmates...
"Did you make any new year's resolutions this year?," she asked - carefully looking at both Teppei and Jin so as not to let on whose answer she -really- wanted. Not yet, it was too early to be showing favouritism.
"Resolutions?," Jin hummed as he looked at Aki, somehow trying to figure out if he had seen her before. Though, as he realised that no - he hadn't - he shook his head with a shrug. Though he would let Teppei finish talking about his walks and dogs and that crap before he would say something. Interrupting a friend wasn't something that was a very nice thing to do. Even if he did it quite a lot.
"Just losing weight," he answered then and grinned slightly. "And maybe go to the gym a bit more often, but I'm not good with diets. I never find one that likes me! It's like the diet-making-kings have this plan that whatever they come up with 'let's make sure it doesn't for Akanishi', you know? It's..." Jin fell silent as he felt people looking at him and looked to his right to... yes, they were looking at him. Everyone were looking at him.
"Haha, what?! I'm serious!" No he wasn't, but at least they were having fun?
Yui chuckled slightly, the sound almost completely drowned out by Aki's slightly overenthusiastic girlish laughter. If she was honest Yui already didn't like that girl very much - who would after getting elbowed for absolutely no reason? She tried not to dislike people, she really did, so she'd give Aki another chance of course but... Her side hurt. And maybe it was a girl thing but she could already see who exactly the fair-haired one was aiming for.
"Then," she muttered, thinking about it for a minute, "maybe you should become a diet making king yourself? You might be able to sway their decisions that way."
You know what? Jin already liked this girl. She was smart, she looked good - even though she was just a child - AND she was amazingly much on his side! How could a guy -not- like a person like that? Simple, you couldn't dislike her.
"Exactly!," he agreed and couldn't help but smile at the irony of that -now- was when their food was delivered. "That's what I am ya know," he explained while most of everyone else started to eat. "Beer and meat. It works, really! I know it sounds really weird but it actually works. I don't have anything else for a week or two and wham I've lost a kilo or three, depends on how much work I've got..."
Beer. He had ordered beer and the girls were underage...
"... um," he said then and looked at the other three - to whom he weren't really talking but still felt as if he had to be polite enough to ask. "You don't mind if I have," he glanced at Aki before looking back at Yui again. "Beer right? I mean, I didn't really think of..." How goddamn young you are.
"I don't like beer much anyway," Yui replied pleasantly - she didn't think she'd drink it even when she was old enough, probably going for wine or something like that that (in her opinion) tasted much better. And why would she mind anyway? That was a little like a vegetarian being angry because someone ate meat in front of them... She'd never understood that sort of thinking and certainly didn't subscribe to it.
"You shouldn't feel bad when you have the right to do something that we don't." Yui smiled, something about her saying that she really meant this and wasn't just saying it to sound smart. "You've earned that. It won't be long before we do too."
"It won't be long until I do," Aki added, by this time extremely displeased by how the girl she already saw as her rival was -already- trying to monopolise -her- Jin's attention. "I turn twenty in March. March fourteenth actually! It'll be so nice to go out for a drink, you know? I bet it was nice the first time you got to do it, ne Akanishi-kun?"
"First time?," Jin grinned as she drank some of the beer he'd gotten and then leaned back in his chair. Honestly he wasn't very hungry - he had had some to eat just an hour or so before he arrived here. But of course he would have -some- though, but nowhere nearly as much as the rest of the guys. Especially not as much as Takahisa, that guy ate like a goddamn horse.
"Honestly? My first time...," that sounded like something else. Jin cleared his throat and shook his head - probably he had been the only one thinking of that. "First time drinking for me was... when I was fifteen? Or sixteen... Something like that. It's like that though, isn't it Shige?"
Shigeaki looked up at Jin and nodded, not even thinking twice about it. Even though they were idols, drinking and smoking before 20? In private, and on private parties it happened alot. Hikaru had smoked some and been drunk twice as far as he knew. Takaki Yuya seemed to be pretty hooked on smoking already and Yamada Ryosuke had even tried alcohol once. He hadn't liked it though, which was understandable since he was just fourteen.
"When I was sixteen I think? First time."
Blinking a little, Aki shook her head slightly with the best smile she could manage - desperate not to lose face. That would put her behind the stupid Aragaki girl in terms of standing and that was -not- allowed. Deguchi Aki was ten times the girl she was; she just had to prove it.
"Well of course," she muttered. "But what I mean is going out to a bar or something with your friends and all, not having to worry that someone will see or anything..."
Yui blinked and turned to the girl next to her with a questioning expression. "Isn't that the same as going out anyway, except that there's alcohol involved..? I don't see why there needs to be drinking just to go out and have fun - unless I'm missing something, in which case I apologise..."
"Oh no, Aragaki-san," Jin said then, not liking how formal that sounded. She didn't seem like someone who would mind too much if he started saying 'Yui-chan' but they had just met after all and he didn't want some girl be angry with him. Angry girls were scary - just like Tomohisa, angry Tomohisa was scary. Angry Kazuya was scary too.
...Why did he think of those two now?
"Deguchi-san is kinda right actually... I mean, you don't -need- alcohol to have fun, of course not but if you do have it? It's hilarious to see your friends make a fool out of themselves when they can't walk straight and walk into the wall when they're gonna go to the bathroom or something. And you say some pretty weird stuff when drunk, it's not very often that you make sense. So it's really fun! But of course you don't -need- it... No, no."
Shigeaki couldn't help but grin as he noticed just -how- well Yuka and Teppei got along, it was really funny to see. Takahisa and Seira got along well too, right now it looked as if he was the only one not talking to someone. He didn't mind too much though, it was difficult to eat and be social at the same time anyway and he didn't really -want- to talk to anyone. He missed Rika after all, he... she hadn't told him a time and place yet. And he understood that she might not want to meet with him, it was understandable... almost painfully so. Maybe she had decided never to speak to him again and thus these five minutes he'd get... wouldn't matter much? what was he to say anyway? That he wanted a second chance? As if she would want that..?
As Yui nodded her understanding, Aki basked in the knowledge that she'd been right for all of three seconds before she realised what exactly had been wrong with what Jin had said. Not that there was anything wrong normally! Oh no, of course not, he had the most wonderful way of talking - just...
"Please don't call me 'Deguchi-san' like that?," she asked, fiddling with her hair slightly. "It sounds strange since you're older than me... You can call me Aki-chan, I don't mind."
Feeling that that was an excellent idea, Yui uttered a small 'un' to show that she agreed with the suggestion. Perhaps Aki was trying just a little too hard - but perhaps Yui herself had been a little hard on her. She knew that it was difficult to keep oneself from falling into the trap of a male idol sometimes... It just had to be kept in mind that idols really -couldn't- be exactly themselves on television and suchlike. Falling in love with someone you don't even know - Yui knew that it happened, but she couldn't really fathom the idea.
"And I'd prefer Yui, if that's fine with you."
Jin had never been very good with reading girls and such and even if he could from time to time, there was no way that he actually could notice how Aki apparently was trying too hard. Maybe it was because he was used to having girls look at him with those eyes... that were really difficult to describe, but you know the general eyes of a fangirl.
"Aki-chan," he said then and looked at her before turning to Yui again. "Yui...-chan? Okay, that's... good I guess..." He fell silent then and in order not to look really weird, he figured he'd have at least some of the food he'd ordered. Thankfully he didn't have to keep the conversation going either as Takahisa looked up then and started another conversation that was about the ever so exciting thing that was food.
"So," Jin said then when their plates were gone and they just kept a glass in front of them. About an hour or so had passed and if he was to be completely honest, Jin hoped he could leave soon. He wanted... to get home because this was his third glass of beer and while he didn't really mind getting drunk even with people he didn't know, he didn't want to get drunk here today. Tonight. He could definitely feel that he was affected by the alcohol by now though... And after just two and a half beer. This had to be some strong beer.
"What do you do, Aki-chan? You go to school?"
Aki nodded immediately, jumping at the chance to talk more with Jin - and he'd initiated the conversation this time! He had to be realising already, surely he did? Maybe it was a -little- too early but as far as Aki was concerned it couldn't come early enough that he'd hurry up and see that the two of them were meant to be together, to get married and have kids and grow old together and be happy forever...
"Mmhm! Studying nursing at Mie University. It's pretty hard but I really like it there, and I'd like to be a nurse someday - unless I get married first of course..."
"Nurse?," Jin repeated and leaned back as he drank some more. That was really interesting! It wasn't as if he met people who wanted to become nurses and doctors all the time. It was almost as if there was some kind of fashion-thing considering educations... maybe there was and he simply didn't know because he didn't go to school but if he asked he'd seem stupid. So he wouldn't.
"You heard that Shige? She wanna become a nurse, that's different isn't it? You should have started to study to become a doctor! That would really have been cool!"
Shigeaki glanced at Jin, easily realising that he was slightly drunk but couldn't do much but just smile and shake his head slightly. He was the only one, too. Teppei had ordered a beer too but he didn't drink as much or maybe just wasn't as easily affected.
"If I had decided to become a doctor I would have no time for NEWS," he answered though, nodding slightly. Though it would have been one hell of an education. Apparently a junior of the jimusho had quit in order to become a doctor. That was really cool, wasn't it? He admired people like that.
Aki smiled a bit and nodded - that much was true, studying was so hard and took up such a lot of time that she'd had to give up being an idol since it left no time for it. She'd thought that maybe she could do both, but then her concentration levels had started to slip, and in a big group like she'd been in it definitely wasn't an option to quit her studies and hope that one day she'd be famous enough not to need them...
"That's why I had to quit AKB48," she muttered with a tinge of regret to her tone. Sure, she hadn't liked all of the girls (Ohe for example was just annoying - and because she hadn't gotten along with -her- that meant that Tojima immediately put herself off-limits too), but it had been fun and some of them had been really nice...
"AKB..." Jin frowned as he heard that. He knew he had heard of that name somewhere before but what was it? AKB48... He hummed slightly as looked down in his glass, where had he heard that before? It was really... it was as if he knew but he just couldn't put a face to the name, like how you hear a name and you've heard of it but then...!
"Ah!," he exclaimed and pointed at Aki for a couple of seconds before he realised that it probably was weird. "They were at Kohaku with that girl otaku and... and Leah Dizon, right?" That had to be it! That made sense, that's true. Yes. Good Jin.
Smiling widely as Jin realised where he'd heard the name, Aki nodded enthusiastically. Wasn't that awesome though, that he'd at least heard of the group? Now she at least wasn't just a normal girl, though she supposed she kind of was -now- since she wasn't part of it anymore...
"Mmhm, exactly," she replied happily. "They're getting much bigger now, but when you start from the bottom in a big group of girls like that it's difficult to find any way of getting further... It was too much stress for me." Maybe she was talking about herself too much right now? Definitely time to talk about someone else. Specifically... "It must be much worse for you though, being in the public eye all the time?"
Okay now -that- if anything was a dangerous question to get from anyone. First off, Jin trusted people but he didn't really trust anyone with what he really thought of being famous. There was no way he could say this out loud, especially not to girls like these that were young and so on. The only one who might understand would be Yui but she's a girl that's popular with girls so probably not even she would understand, right? Though, as he had been in showbusiness for such a long time now it wasn't difficult to come up with an answer that he could say without actually looking as though he was lying.
"Naah," he replied as he scratched the back of his head. "I'm used to it? And it's not like it's that much of a problem, we have privacy and all and since I don't study I don't have too much pressure~"
Shigeaki glanced at Jin when he heard that. Now anyone who -ever- had worked with Jin knew that that was not true. Jin loved being famous, everyone knew that, but if there was one thing he really couldn't take it was being famous and have possessive fans. He disliked those, he felt sorry for them and Shigeaki was sure that he and at least every other guy within Johnnys felt the same. Fans that stalked you, checked your mail and managed to get the hold of your phonenumber to terrorise you that way? Fans like them were the worst and sometimes it was those kinds of fans that made you want to quit. Though, then you stood on stage and realised why you loved being who you are. Probably that was how Jin felt too.
"Excuse me," Shigeaki suddenly said then as he rose. He needed to get away from here so going to the bathroom was the best option. Not that he really -needed- to or anything... but he could at least text Rika now. Maybe she would be free tonight, maybe they'd be able to meet up...
Aki had to fight back the urge to squeal in happiness - he was just too incredible! Of course he'd always been incredible but in -person- he was even -more- incredible if that was even possible... But then, once you thought you'd gotten to the top of how incredible a person could be, Aki would guarantee that Jin would beat that every single time, because that was just what he was like. Perfect. More than perfect.
"That's so admirable of you," she replied with a smile. "And people think it's so easy being famous..."
Jin couldn't help but grin slightly, well that was a nice thing to be told.
"Maa, Yamapi is more admirable? He goes to school -and- he's being Yamapi and- that's a lot of doing and very little sleeping," he commented though - having been very close to mention 'and being in a relationship with Kazu' but then realised that, hey, he couldn't do that. So instead he just went with that and, believe it or not, but a sentence like that? It wasn't totally off with being Jin-ish. Not that he was proud of it or anything though.
"How's it for Yui-chan," he asked then, wanting to change the subject and figured that the silent girl definitely could help with that. She could speak from her own experience at least? "You have it difficult with being famous and popular and stuff?"
Yui, who'd just been quietly listening to the conversation since she found herself the odd female out (and besides that, before Shigeaki had gotten up and left, he hadn't looked like he wanted to be talked to either), smiled as she was asked a question. That was such an idol thing to ask, wasn't it? Somehow it was kind of endearing, like if he didn't talk about idol things he wouldn't know what to say. Perhaps that was completely wrong - she had no idea, just knew that that was the image he gave to her.
"I'm not as popular as you so I wouldn't know what that's like," she replied. "It's not very difficult for me - there are so many female talents that you could walk past ten of them on the street and never know they were anyone other than normal people... I do get a little worried when I'm meeting a male friend though." She frowned slightly. "Sometimes I wish people were a little less curious about that sort of thing."
Jin nodded in agreement, both liking and -not- liking how well it seemed that Yui could put her thoughts into words. He thought those things too, you know. He wished people would care less about who is girlfriend (or boyfriend) was and more about what kind of music he put out. What kind of work he did. For some reason... it felt as if, would he say these things out loud, Yui would understand. Maybe it was because she was an actress, because she was an idol and knew what 'his world' was like, or at least could imagine. How old was she again? She behaved very much like she was about his age - he had met some girls that were -older- than him but still acted as if they were like fifteen years old.
"Speaking of male friends," he said then and sat up straight. "What -do- you look for in a guy?" If -he- was interested? No, not in that way. But this was a group date after all, it would be good if some people could end up together so it would help if they started talking about those kind of things, no?
Yui tipped her head a bit, caught slightly off-guard by the question. If she was completely honest, she wasn't sure -what- she looked for in the opposite sex - she didn't do a whole lot of active looking for one thing; something Yuka was constantly telling her she -should- do. But now that she was asked...
"Um...," she muttered, her expression showing plainly that this wasn't something she had to think about a lot. "He should be close with his family, I think. That's important... And have a good sense of humour... I think the main thing is that we understand each other though. Even if you think you really like someone, if you don't understand them then I don't think it can last very long." Maybe she'd said too much? Suddenly a little selfconscious, she looked down at the table out of embarassment with a shy smile. "That's just what I think though..."
Was he being a pervert now? Wasn't it like just one of those songs where the old man fell for the new employee at the office because of her cute smile? Okay so Jin didn't -fall- for Yui just because she smiled like that but wow if she wasn't cute. She was adorable! She was completely adorable, too bad she was so young though. She definitely was one interesting girl to have a conversation with though. She seemed so smart, she probably had great grades in school.
"That's right, I-"
"I'm sorry," Shigeaki cut Jin off as he returned to the table, not paying much attention to who he were interrupting and not. "Something came up...," he explained - suddenly feeling very rushed simply because he kind of was. Rika would be at Shibuya station in ten minutes and from there they'd walk somewhere to talk. He couldn't say no to this, everyone would understand that if they knew.
"Yuka-chan, Seira-chan, give me your numbers?," he asked as he handed the first mentioned girl's name and then glanced at Yui and Aki. "I have yours... I'm really sorry something... I really have to go."
"That's okay Shige," Jin nodded as he too managed to get up his phone from his pocket. "But you reminded me, thank you! Numbers, numbers, Aki-chan and Yui-chan and then when you two are done with Shige's... Just so I won't forget to ask later, it'd be a shame if I wouldn't be able to contact you later~"
As Aki immediately set about putting her number in Jin's phone, Yui instead turned her attention to Shigeaki. He looked troubled, she thought to herself. Troubled and most certainly in a hurry - perhaps something very bad had happened? Either way she could tell it was urgent, whatever it was.
"I hope everything's okay, Kato-kun," she muttered in a concerned sort of way, not asking what it was simply because she didn't think he'd answer her even if she did - it wasn't her business after all. "I'm sure everyone understands if it's something unavoidable - oh, thankyou." The thankyou there being directed to Aki as it was suddenly Yui's turn to give Jin her phone number and thus the older girl passed it over.
"That leaves us with too many girls though," Aki muttered thoughtfully. No way was she leaving, hell -no-, but wasn't it bad to have a goukon with four girls and three men? If anyone was going to leave though, Aki knew that -her- vote would go to the one who'd been stealing -her- Jin's attention. Stupid girl.
"Ah, it's nothing to worry about," Shigeaki answered as he shook his head slightly and then received his phone back from Seira. "I'm sorry for leaving so quickly though..." He glanced down at Takahisa who just smiled in an encouraging way, almost as if he knew what it was about and then before long he had managed to make him sure of that it was okay.
As the one who had invited him to this to begin with had left, Jin looked at the rest of the members. Well now if this wasn't just perfect. Jin didn't mind being stuck with a couple of girls, definitely not. Not even if he was with his friends but he was getting -another- beer now and it was... almost getting a bit too much and he was tired. He had done a lot of talking right now and he was tired... but he wouldn't show that though. He'd talk more, but maybe this Yuka would talk even -more- now that... Yes she would.
"Uh... I'm fine? Sorry, I was just thinking, I'm sorry, what did you say?"
Shigeaki took a deep breath as he got closer to where Rika had said he would be. He was so nervous right now, so, so very nervous. Though, he had to give himself some credit for not having had anything to drink. That way he wouldn't come off as stupid or not being serious. Because if he was anything right now it was serious, he was more serious now than he had been in a really long time because... because he missed her.
As he put a hand on his forehead, ready to wipe away sweat that wasn't even there, Shigeaki saw a figure just a couple of meters ahead and immediately realised that that was the person he... was going to meet. And now he just got more nervous.
"Rika," he said then as he got closer, and as she turned around he... was pretty sure his heart stopped. Only not really, even Shigeaki knew that something like that wouldn't happen but it felt like it did. It'd been a really long time since he'd been this nervous.
Truth be told, right now Ishikawa Rika felt like a complete idiot. What kind of a girl just went ahead and said okay to meeting up with the guy who'd hurt her so much - on more than one occasion? She should have put him entirely behind her by now, and she'd really thought she'd managed it, but once she'd read that mail it had been like the old days all over again... Such a stupid thing.
"Good evening," she said, her tone becoming almost too formal in her determined attempt not to show just how nervous she was. "What was it you wanted?"
Here?! Shigeaki looked around to see if there were any suspicious people nearby, simply because he didn't want to argue with her but at the same time he definitely didn't want for someone to see or hear this. Though, as it really looked as if they'd be left alone if they wanted to be, he looked back at Rika again. She looked... well, different but at the same time not different at all.
"I...," he started before realising he had absolutely -no- idea of how to say this. How do you normally tell the girl you've been together in a stormy relationship with -and- dumped that you want her back? ...Normal people didn't do that, did they? "I'm sorry..."
What? Rika blinked, hardly able to believe what she was hearing - it took an awful lot of self-restraint just to stand still and try not to react too much. She couldn't help but want to know why, though. Why now? Why at all? Why... just, why? It didn't make any sense after everything that had happened, she couldn't believe this. Surely he just wanted something, maybe his new girlfriend had dumped him or...
"Excuse me?," she asked, disbelief written all over her face. This was just... way, way too sudden to be real. It wasn't fair to take advantage of her like this, it really wasn't...
"I... I'm sorry," he said again, this time lowering his eyes slightly. It wasn't that he didn't mean it or that he didn't want to look at her. It was just -difficult- to.
"I'm sorry for... for how I was, for how... I... I was unfair." Wow but that had been difficult. Kato Shigeaki could honestly say that he probably never had had to say anything like that before and that this just now... probably helped him understand why his father never said too many -deep- things to his mother. It was difficult once you meant it... no matter how much you -wanted- to let the other one know after all...
Rika frowned and looked away for a moment, horribly troubled. What was she supposed to say to that? She couldn't just -forgive- him for anything, and besides that she didn't even know what he wanted... Maybe he just felt guilty and wanted to get it off his conscience so he could spend the rest of his life happy with some other girl... If that was the case then she wanted absolutely no part of it.
"Why?," she asked, as though he was deliberately hurting her by coming here and saying this. "Why now? Why... just... why? It doesn't make sense."
She didn't understand? Maybe it wasn't so obvious as he thought it would have come across... Shigeaki took a deep breath before looking up again, only to see how she didn't even look at him right now. He understood though - or at least he tried to. He had been unfair after all, he had been... it hadn't been fair of him at all, no matter what situation he had been in, it was never fair to do break up with someone via mail like he had. Especially not considering how they had been...
"I...," he started and looked down again, putting his hands in his pockets. "I have no right to... ask for anything, I understand that but... Could you... maybe, at least think of... giving me a second chance?" Well, unless she had a boyfriend already but if so then she would tell him right? ...Though if he was to be honest he wasn't sure if he -wanted- to know.
So that -was- what he meant. Rika folded her arms lightly, holding onto her shoulders for the tiny little bit of support it gave - oh what she wouldn't give to have a friend here now who'd help her keep her resolve! But as it was she was alone, Ishikawa Rika, little Charmy faced with the guy she'd been head over heels for since before she could even remember - what exactly was she supposed to do?
Biting her lip slightly, she kept her eyes firmly on the ground, feeling tears spring up into her eyes but willing them to come no further. "You can't just waltz back into my life whenever you want to..."
It was barely that she got to finish speaking, before Shigeaki nodded.
"I know," he answered, not quite sure of what else to say. He would understand that maybe she didn't want to give him another chance again. Maybe she didn't even think of him anymore, maybe she had something going on with this other guy? It was very possible and thus something Shigeaki definitely would respect if it happened... But she hadn't said anything about that now, was that a good thing? It was, wasn't it?
"I know that, but... I was just...," Shigeaki closed his eyes for a short moment. This -shouldn't- be so difficult. "I... if you're willing to... if you'd want to give it another shot I know I would be too. Really..."
Unfolding her arms in favour of clasping her hands together, Rika fell silent for some moments. It was so hard to know what to do at this point, she just wanted to turn tail and flee but at the same time she wanted to jump into his arms and never ever let go again - it was just so -hard- right now. How did she know he wasn't just going to do the same thing again? If she'd allow him into her life again only to be thrown by the wayside a second time?
"Tell me why, then," she muttered, mortified as her voice began to shake slightly. "Tell me what made you do it, tell me how I'm going to know you won't do it again."
Tell... tell her? About Yumi? About drinking with Ryo- about Keiichiro? Shigeaki looked up at Rika as he realised just -what- that meant. Did he want to tell her? No, no he didn't but did he want her back? Yes, of course he did. He wanted her back more than anything else right now... but it wasn't as if he had time to tell all of it at once, or did he? And even if he did, he couldn't do that here... and was she to trust with it? Would she understand?
...Why was he even asking that, of course she would understand.
"Not...," Shigeaki looked around once again. "Not here... Anyone can listen, it's... and I'm going to Tokushima at midnight," he explained before quickly looking at his clock. It was still just ten to ten, so maybe... But where would he tell her? Where would he... be able to say things like that and at the same time be sure that no one would pass by and just 'happen to' hear their conversation? He looked up at her again.
"...tea?," he suggested. Maybe if they went to some café and sat down in a corner or something - not all cafés this late were crowded after all.
Now Rika was faced with another dilemma: whether to insist on staying here, where the concentration of people gave her more freedom to leave at any point she so chose, or to go and get tea with Shigeaki so that he could explain. She really... wanted to know why. It had bothered her for such a long time, what she'd done wrong to be treated like she had been, what she could possibly have done better, how she could have prevented it... But there was a reason, a reason he felt as though he could explain to her? Then... surely it was worth listening to...
"Okay."