Jin Superman (369) wrote in candypop, @ 2008-06-28 23:30:00 |
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Current mood: | tired |
27th of June, Jin and Yui
As he heard how the door opened and closed, Jin leaned back against the armrest of the couch so that he'd be able to see Yui in the hallway.
"Okaeri," he said with a smile before sitting up straight and turning his attention back to the game (Nintendo DS for those interested) in his hands. He had gotten a mail from Yui earlier where she said she wanted to talk to him and thus he hadn't gone anywhere but remained in this big, big apartment (all by himself) for most of the day. He loved days off, but when he had things to do - like listening to Yui - and nothing to do -until- those things happened? It was the absolute most boring thing ever. Though she had finally gotten here though...
It didn't take long for him to save what he was doing and then close the game before putting it on the table. In the same minute Yui came in to the livingroom, Jin pulled his knees so that she'd be able to sit down on the couch.
"You wanted to talk~?"
Yui swallowed hard and kept her eyes down, only managing through some incredible force of willpower not to fidget too much. She didn't... want to be here. Not for this reason. If she was going to say something like this then couldn't it have been in a neutral location..? Here, like this, if the worst happened she'd just have to get up and leave and that... she just couldn't imagine it.
Of course she trusted Jin, just like she'd told him she really did - what reason did she have to lie? But... but this was something that was really important. Something that changed people's lives -forever-. And what right did she have to assume that she was worth that?
"Mm...," she mumbled, taking a seat on the couch - further away from him than she normally would - and fell silent once again. How was she supposed to say this...
Jin frowned as he noticed how insecure she seemed to be. It wasn't like her at all to act like that but at the same time... she had before, and then quite some... unpleasant things had happened. Suddenly a bit worried that someone might be terrorizing her again, Jin sat up straight and moved a bit closer.
"What's wrong?," he asked, not even bothering with hiding that he was worried. Anyone would be! What if someone had bullied her -in person-? What if her parents had said something? What if... her dad had said that she'd have to break up with him -or- simply not get back home anymore? Okay so that did sound a bit extreme but that didn't mean that it didn't happen because it -did-. It couldn't be that bad though, could it?
"No, no, it's...," Yui muttered, shifting slightly away from Jin - automatic rather than something she made a conscious decision to do. If she had it her way then they'd be as close as possible for as long as possible but... but once he heard what she had to say then maybe he'd change his mind about wanting to be anywhere near her. It happened sometimes and she couldn't afford to discount the possibility.
Forcing her hands to stay where they were in her lap rather than folding around her stomach as some sort of protection (though for whom she wasn't exactly sure), Yui bit her lip and stayed silent for a moment. But she couldn't keep quiet forever. And that was exactly why she was here. "I...," she started weakly, faltering after the first word. "I..."
She wasn't sitting close to him. She didn't look at him, she...
Jin's eyes widened slightly as he thought he realised what this was about. She wanted to break up, didn't she? Surely that was why she was... acting like this and now she was unsure of how to say things. Jin backed up slightly and lowered his eyes. He didn't know for -sure- of course, but to him - right now - that was all that made sense. What else could she be so hesitant about saying and if there was nothing -wrong- and she was still acting like that...
He was just about to get dumped, wasn't he?
"I'm pregnant."
The words sounded so loud, like they sucked up all other sound and held the world in silence. Yui knew that she wasn't the first person to have to say this - she couldn't imagine how many women before her had been through this but even so... even so she felt herself almost trembling as she waited for him to react. Everything depended on this, everything rode on what he said, what he did.
Thinking back, at the hospital she remembered how awkward she'd made things for Emi by not reacting to what the doctor told her. How the older girl hadn't quite known what to say. Of course, Yui would be happy to become a real... a real mother. In a way she already was. But one person can't bring up a child any better than one person can make one - and how was Jin supposed to take this so suddenly?
It was almost as if everything went blank then. For a good few moments Jin couldn't think of anything at all, not even what Yui just now had said. He blinked a couple of times and then as reality caught up with him again he looked up at her. She had said -what- now?
"Huh?," he asked, not sounding like he had been listening at all - which he had. He had been listening and he -had- heard what she had said but even so it didn't make sense. If one was to ask him on a normal day what he would think about his girlfriend getting pregnant, of course he would love it and say that he was really happy, because he would be. But even so, right now all he thought of was that no, it didn't make sense.
The room felt as though it were being held in limbo - the feeling Yui could only imagine a person would get after death, while waiting for judgement on whether they should go to heaven or to hell. In a way this was the same thing, deciding the fate of the tiny life now living inside of her. If he didn't want it, if it was too early after all or he just wasn't prepared to go through with that then...
"I'm... I'm pregnant...," she mumbled, not honestly thinking that he needed it repeating - it wasn't any easier the second time either.
The first question to pop up in Jin's head then was 'how', but he wasn't stupid, he understood and knew how of course and he didn't honestly think that Yui had been with someone else either, so that meant that this was, that Yui was pregnant with Jin's baby, didn't it? Unless she wasn't- That was a good question.
"You...," he hesitantly started, "you sure?" Maybe she only thought she was. Maybe she just hadn't gotten her period and thus assumed she was pregnant. Okay so honestly that didn't sound very much like Yui, it didn't sound like something she'd do... but who knew, maybe she -wanted- to be and thus though she was. Maybe it wasn't... maybe it wasn't true. Probably it wasn't. It couldn't be.
Yui nodded mutely, not once looking up. Was this it? He didn't sound anything other than stunned already, he hadn't had a proper reaction and until he did she wouldn't know whether or not... She wouldn't let herself feel anything until she knew. If Jin was opposed then what was the point in being happy about this? And if he did then of course it would be silly to beat herself up about it - but until he showed either way she wouldn't know.
"I wasn't sure...," she started, her voice coming out so tiny she wondered whether he could even hear. "But I went... to the hospital and they said..." She didn't have to say more than that, she reminded herself. She didn't have to say how the doctor had asked what she was going to do. She didn't have to tell him that there was a card in her bag, with a number on it that she'd been told to call if (with distinct overlying tones of 'when') she wanted to schedule an abortion...
When did hospitals ever make mistakes? Okay so it happened of course, but on things like these? It didn't and even if it did, Jin wouldn't really doubt it at this point. So... so Yui was pregnant. With his kid... he had made her pregnant. Was he supposed to be happy or angry about it? Should he call himself stupid or should he just smile and be happy?
Since when was this room so hot? It felt a bit... a bit, very much... it was stuffy. He had to get out, he had to get some fresh air, to walk, he had to make sense out of this. Because as it was, even if she -was- pregnant with her kid and he knew how that had happened... it didn't make sense. Not even a little bit.
Jin pulled his both hands through his hair before he moved so that he had his feet against the floor.
"Uh...," he started then, feeling for each passing second how it got warmer - almost as if there was a fire somewhere or something. He -had- to get out. He actually felt a bit lightheaded, was that normal? Surely it couldn't be. Maybe this was some sort of allergic reaction to hearing things like that? But that was stupid, but even so it was-
"I... I'll be right back," Jin finally said then as he rose and headed for the hallway. He had to get out, he had to talk to someone. Ask someone what the hell he was supposed to do. Things like these didn't happen - your girlfriend didn't just -get- pregnant. You planned this stuff, you talked about it! You couldn't just... And it was way too hot inside for him to be able to think clearly anyway.
Yui looked up for the first time then, alarmed as she heard him get up and his footsteps out into the hallway. Surely he wasn't just going to leave her here? Without even saying anything? No, he couldn't, it wasn't fair, he had to- ...She'd barely gotten to her feet when she heard the door close.
It was as though all the strength left her, just at hearing that sound, and she put it down to luck that she hadn't moved when her body seemed to fall back onto the couch by itself. She didn't know what to do, what to think, who to talk to... Left alone, or as alone as you can really get with a -baby- inside you, Yui closed her eyes and just wished not to be part of the world for a while.
"Where are you?," was the first thing Jin asked as he heard how Tomohisa answered the phone. He had barely made it outside from the building but he already knew he had to talk to someone about this. Of course he could also have called Yuu but for some reason Tomohisa came first on this one - he lived closer if nothing else. And besides Jin had been the one to listen to his problems all the damn time every single year (that might be a bit exaggerated) so it was about time that he'd do some listening back. And besides he usually knew what to do in weird and awkward and just -unbelievable- situations.
"Pi -where- are you?," Jin asked then again as the younger one didn't answer his question fast enough. He had to be home though, he had to be home at his parents' or else... or he'd just have to -get there. He had to be here about now.
Tomohisa, obviously slightly confused by the seemingly desperate tone to his friend's voice, sat up from where he'd just now been reading on the couch and put his book to the side. It wasn't a particularly interesting one anyway but apparently the only book in here he hadn't already read... He'd have to get some new ones at some point since there was never anything good on TV...
"I'm at home," he replied, keeping it short since somehow it sounded like Jin was in a hurry... to somewhere or away from somewhere or whatever. "Why, what's wrong?"
"Get out?," the older one replied to that, not quite sure of how to talk about it like this over the phone. It wasn't possible it was... it was stupid to think that you could talk about something like this over the phone. He wasn't even sure of how to say it - what would he say? 'Yui's pregnant'? He couldn't seriously say that! It was... it was... it wasn't a thing you -said-. It was really... it...
"'m there in five minutes," Jin muttered then before he hung up and started to walk a bit faster. He hadn't even taken on his jacket. Or a cap. Or anything, people would probably recognize him - and maybe they'd hear what they'd talk about too? Hopefully Tomohisa would be smart enough to think about that because, right now, the last thing Jin thought about was that he was famous and people might want to hear what he's talking about.
Having been about to say something more when Jin hung up, Tomohisa instead just put his phone in his pocket and got up. Looking down at himself, he judged himself to be dressed well enough (and plainly enough at that), and just put some sunglasses and his shoes on to go outside. He didn't know if Jin had in mind to actually go somewhere, but he'd insist on going inside and getting dressed better first if that was the case.
Leaning against the doorframe to the 'lobby' of the apartment building (really just a room that the stairs and elevator came down to, unlike big shiny places that had receptionists and such), it wasn't long before Tomohisa spotted his friend - not only looking extremely agitated but also completely unhidden.
"Hey," the younger one greeted, frowning slightly. "Someone's gonna see you, stupid, get in here." He stepped back through into the lobby, holding the door open for his friend.
Jin barely noticed that he did just as Tomohisa told him to as he followed the younger one up the stairs and eventually inside. All the time he was thinking of what to say, how to say it, what would happen if he said it? What would Tomohisa say if he said it, could Tomohisa help? Of course he couldn't help, that didn't make sense. But then again why did he feel the-
"Yui's pregnant," the older of the two friends said eventually, having not moved an inch since the door closed behind them while Tomohisa was already out of his shoes and ready to go in to the livingroom. Staring blankly down at the floor before him, Jin blinked a couple of times as he took what one would call calming breaths. Yui was pregnant, he reminded himself and swallowed. With his kid - he and Yui had... they had actually made a baby, hadn't they? Just the thought of that... Jin blinked as he felt how his eyes stung and before he crouched and leaned back against the door. This was so, so, so completely insane. Things like these didn't happen.
Tomohisa blinked, raising his eyebrows. Yui? Pregnant? Stupid, that was stupid, this was -Gacky-, how could she be pregnant?
"What?," he asked with less a note and more an entire symphony of disbelief in his tone. Really now, Jin couldn't actually be serious. But then if he wasn't then there was no way he'd look like -that-, no way he'd storm over here unannounced just to say so like this... The elder of the two had always talked about getting a family as early as possible, saying that he wanted to be this -cool- dad who could keep up with his kids and wasn't too old to play with them and stuff but... that all sounded like just talk. Could that stuff actually -happen-?
"Mmm," Jin hummed and nodded in reply and continued to just look at the ground before him. It wasn't until now that he actually realised that what Yui had said was true, that she was actually pregnant, that she... that she and he were going to be parents, that they would get a little - one of those things that Ryo and Hiroki had. That they would have a tiny, a small little person that... It was insane. Sure he wanted that with her, he always (at least it felt that way) wanted that with her but...
"What the hell am I supposed to do...," he mumbled then and hid his face in his hands. Abortion wasn't really an option, he didn't want that but then what else could they do? Keep it? He wanted that of course but how... how was that going to... It couldn't happen. It was like these things you only talked about, it didn't actually happen, but even so it just had and...
Well how the hell was Tomohisa, who didn't have a family and hadn't really thought about getting one either, supposed to know what one was meant to do in such a situation as this? God, why was Jin so stupid - why couldn't they have just done the smart thing and used this handy little invention called a -condom- until they were ready for something like this to happen?!
"Well get up for a start," the younger one began, folding his arms as he thought about what -he'd- do in this situation. "It's not going away any time soon y'know, I mean I know it's not the most normal thing to find out but..." Tomohisa stopped then, his eyes narrowing slightly as something struck him as not making much sense. "...Wait, okay, how exactly did she tell you? Did you go to the hospital with her or something?"
"No," Jin muttered as he slowly stood up straight again, still leaning back against the door though. "She came over and told me..." he continued, still not quite seeing how what he had done was wrong. He would, eventually of course, but right now all that was on his mind was that he had to do something. Like, soon. And it wasn't as if he knew what to do. It was his fault for getting her pregnant in the first place, he realised that, but who the hell could have figured that that would happen!? Seriously. No one, that's who. What was he supposed to do? Really, what...
"Man..."
"Right...," Tomohisa muttered - that sounded right, of course she'd go and tell him something like that to his face. He didn't really know for certain but imagining Yui telling something like she was pregnant, over the phone? It didn't work in his mind. She wasn't that type.
"So she came to your place and told you, and you said... what, exactly?" Always a good idea to ask, one did need to assess the current situation before making any tactical advances after all - if he'd told her to get out then he'd need some way to approach her, or there were other situations where some kind of plan would be needed from the very beginning...
Jin fell silent then and looked down. What had he told her? He hadn't told her anything, he had asked for confirmation and then said that he would be right back, he... hadn't really -said- anything...
"Be right back...," he mumbled in reply then as he thought more of it. What if they'd keep it? What if, well they had to keep it. Would they then have a little girl suddenly? And then in three years they'd be married and have a house and that little girl would be sitting in the living room and play with toys and then Yui would be taking care of the house and all and then Jin would be working and... maybe she'd be pregnant again? Or maybe they... what if he didn't succeed with... making things right, what if he would screw up. What if...
Now that was definitely not one of the things that Tomohisa had listed in his mind under possible answers to the question he'd just asked. 'Be right back', that sounded like... and put together how Jin had been in such a hurry before, so much indeed that he hadn't even thought to put a hat on... no way...
"'Be right back'?," he asked, his voice lowering a notch as he stared at his friend, willing him to please not be quite -that- stupid. "Please don't tell me you just came right here after that. You didn't just leave her at your place, did you? You didn't, right?"
What if he wouldn't be able to support her? What if -she- would fall in love with someone else? He didn't honestly think that he ever would, but if she would of course he wouldn't force her to stay with him, that would be mean. What if KAT-TUN broke up - what if he died? Now that was a good argument, what if he died when going to Hokkaido or wherever for concerts, who would help her then? What if something happened to her when he wasn't around, what if that person terrorizing her would start doing it again, if she would be pregnant then, being stressed wouldn't be good. What if... what if her dad still wouldn't accept him? What if -he- would be an awful dad? Yui would be a good mother, of course she would, but what if he wouldn't know what to do -ever-? What if...
Jin hummed in reply, not quite sure of what he replied to as he was too busy to think of all these things that could happen. He didn't have confidence for this, he couldn't do things like this, he wasn't good enough for this, why did she get pregnant before they had had a chance to talk about it? Why did... why did things like these happen without him being prepared for it?!
Not for the first time - nor, he was certain, for the last - Tomohisa wondered why on earth he was actually friends with this, the undisputed King of Complete and Utter Morons.
"Jin," he started, his voice level but with an undertone of 'severely pissed off'. "Look at me." Luckily Jin was smart enough to at least do as he was told. Sure, even monkeys could do that, but this wasn't a monkey so one never could be sure. Narrowing his eyes a bit and telling himself that -maybe- he'd say sorry once this dunce had come to his senses, the younger of the two pulled back his fist and struck his friend squarely in the jaw.
Had he been able to, Jin would have stumbled (and most likely fallen) back at that, but as he already stood with his back against the door, all that happened was that he hit his head hard against it and then stumbled to the side.
"What the fuck did you do that for?!," he then asked loudly and glared at his friend. Or at least this guy was supposed to be his friend, but as far as he knew friends didn't randomly go around and punched each other in the face all the time. Sure, this wasn't something that happened -all- the time, but still.
"That hurt dammit!"
Having done what he needed to do, Tomohisa folded his arms and glared right back. He wasn't the one who'd been a collossal dick to his girlfriend after all, he was pretty sure he was in the right here. Sometimes Jin just didn't get it until it literally hit him in the face.
"Yeah? That hurt, did it?," he asked, his tone brimming with sarcasm. "Why don't you ask Yui to kiss it better, I mean, it's not like -she's- got anything on her mind right? Don't worry about it, I run out on a teenage girl pregnant with my baby twice a month, they don't mind it!" Shaking his head, the younger one held back from hitting Jin again just to make himself feel better - if it hadn't helped the first time it wouldn't help the second. "What the -hell- are you doing?!"
It wasn't until then that it occured to Jin that... Yui most likely felt just as - if not more - confused and worried like he was right now. He knew that he could be selfish, very selfish actually but as he realised just how much he had been thinking of himself now and, more or less, hadn't thought of Yui at all...
Jin looked down again, suddenly not upset or angry at all but more stunned and possibly shocked by how he had been... As he felt how his eyes stung again, the older one closed them hard and sank down to sit in his previous position. What was he supposed to do now? Just go back and act like nothing had happened? Who was to say she was even there? Probably she thought he had just dumped her or something - it would be understandable after all... but... but...
Realising that Jin had managed to catch up with where exactly his mistake lay, Tomohisa sighed - it wasn't that he was genuinely pissed off with his friend. To the contrary, he could see how that time wouldn't exactly be the one at which anyone was really thinking straight. But just because it wasn't his fault didn't make it a huge, glaring error which a certain Aragaki Yui was now paying for.
"Oi," he muttered, voice lower now that he'd made his point, and leaned against the wall. "I'm not having a baby y'know. You can feel free to run out on me at any point - ah." Important. Producing his sunglasses from his pocket, he held them out. "Right after you take these, because I -bet- you didn't bring any." Good thing they weren't the pink ones or else hell no was he giving those away...
If he was to be honest, Jin was grateful right now. He was thankful for whatever it was that Tomohisa had done to... make him think straight again. Maybe it was the punch or maybe it was just his presence or something, probably the latter actually but surely the other had helped too. Though, even though he -was- grateful for it, it didn't make it supereasy to say out loud... So instead of saying something like 'thankyou', he simply grabbed the sunglasses and muttered a 'see you' before he turned to head back to where he lived and where his... hopefully-still-girlfriend was hopefully waiting. Or... doing something, maybe she wasn't really -waiting- but as long as she was still there...
While it had been far from her first thought when she'd heard Jin leave, the only thing Yui could really think of to keep herself from climbing the walls with worry or else just going home was to... well, to cook. Because he liked that and maybe if he came back and she'd made him something he'd be in a better mood, maybe it would help - maybe it wouldn't but doing it certainly made her feel better if nothing else...
Having found things in the kitchen to make curry with (something easy, something she knew she could make well and that he'd like), she was only partway through it when the sound of the door opening and closing again had her heart jump into her throat. No, she told herself; it was still too early to be thinking about it. Only when he'd said something, when he'd told her something concrete was she allowed to think about it herself.
"Okaerinasai...," she muttered, probably just audible from the hall though she'd meant to say it louder. Most of the time she didn't really have the capacity to be that loud anyway.
What would he say? To get back to his apartment from where Tomohisa lived usually didn't take so long, but having had absolutely no idea of what to actually say when he got here, Jin had decided to walk slow. Though obviously not slow enough since he found himself at home again way too soon, he was nowhere near finding an answer for what to say yet. He didn't know if she was angry, if she was sad or anything else... Though, to hear that she was still -here-, that was definitely a good start.
He didn't dare to reply though, as he heard her greeting. He was still very close to tears and if there was something he had done too much it was apologizing when crying to her. It had only happened once but that was too much already. She hadn't done anything to him - ever. Hadn't ever hurt him, why did he end up doing this over and over again...
What she wanted though, surely that was to know whether or not he wanted to keep the baby? He had of course no idea of what she thought, but from what he had heard from his mom who also became a mother early, finding out that you were pregnant made you very happy, no matter what age. Because the feeling of knowing that there was another person growing inside of them was indescribable. And now, to think that there was a little person inside of Yui who... He couldn't do it, he realised. There was no way he could ask her to have an abortion. Now he wasn't sure if that he was ready - no matter how many times he had thought so before, now that it was happening he didn't know - but even so he still wanted to have this... he didn't want her to remove it. It was their baby after all, wasn't it? It was something -they- had created, it was...
Suddenly very determined, Jin hurried to step out of his shoes and walk into the kitchen where Yui was standing by the stove. Normally he wouldn't have waited a single second before say something about how happy he was to have her cook for him, but right now food was the last thing he thought about. Even though he had noticed that she looked up, Jin didn't say anything before he was standing behind Yui with his arms around her.
"Sorry...," he whispered and attempted to blink away the tears in his eyes as he leaned his head against hers. Maybe this didn't make much sense, probably it didn't... but he felt like he had to do it anyway. It was like... just one of those things.
Yui gasped slightly as she felt Jin's arms around her, dropping the spoon that was in her hand - that luckily just leaned against the side of the pan she'd just been stirring with it. He held her... He held her like always. Could that mean something? She wanted it to mean something, she found herself wishing desperately that he hadn't just come back to say 'sorry but I can't deal with this' or 'it's too early'... But it wasn't her decision to make. Somehow her default idea was that this would affect his life more than hers and thus it was him who should be allowed to decide whether or not it happened - regardless of whose body the baby would actually be growing in for the first nine months of its existence. That part didn't seem to matter at all.
"Mm...," she mumbled, moving one hand slowly to touch his arm as though hardly daring to, like she was afraid he'd disappear if she did. Probably she would say more than that but... but right now she was all out of things to say. It was his turn already, wasn't it?
Right now Jin felt like you felt after having been outside in just a tshirt a whole day in winter and then finally getting inside. It was warm, comfortable and you enjoyed it. And it made you ask yourself why the hell you went out in a tshirt to begin with when you knew that you'd like it much better inside.
...or at least it was something like that. It felt a bit warm to stand with Yui like this. Though there was something they had to actually talk about, and almost as to warn her for what he was going to talk about, he lowered one of his arms so it'd be around her waist instead and held his hand against her stomach. It was pretty amazing, wasn't it? To imagine that there was a -person- in there...
"Do...," he started then, definitely feeling as if he was talking about things he didn't know here. "Do you want to...?"
She was really shaking now, wasn't she? Yui blinked a few times, feeling her heart beat way too fast; if she wasn't actually trembling by now then her perception was way off. Her free hand moved to her stomach, touching Jin's gently, her fingers just touching the back of his hand.
Feeling the prickling of tears in her eyes, she again blinked them back. Maybe, if she was the luckiest creature in the universe -and- a miracle happened at the same time... Maybe he was asking her now because he was seriously considering the possibility? It seemed that trying not to think about it hadn't worked at all - she knew somewhere in her heart that she couldn't get rid of the baby, she just couldn't. Whether or not Jin would be there with her for it... that was the question.
"Mmhm..." Words wouldn't come, not at this point when it felt as though she'd split in two if he didn't say something soon. But they would, they would when she knew...
Jin held on to her tighter then, unable to smile as he realised what this meant. It meant that the two of-... the three of them would be a family, didn't it? It meant that there was not only him and Yui anymore but another person involved, even if they couldn't see him or her yet. The baby was still involved... because it existed and... and that was like...
The older of the two held back a small laugh as he tightened his grip around Yui and hummed in reply. This was so insane, he thought, it was so, so, so, so insane. Maybe it was him being insane imagining all that but if so he didn't really want to get well, he enjoyed this. This was nice, here, with Yui, it was probably the best place ever to be at.
"Yokatta," he replied then, and now tipped his head back as he felt how tears were getting too close once again. But maybe it was okay to cry now though, since it was a pretty big thing that had happened... but if so, if crying was going to happen he refused to be the only one doing so.
Images flashed through Yui's mind; images of calling relatives to tell them what gender the baby was, of feeding it, of playing with it and taking it to school - and the best part of all of those images were that Jin was there with her for all of them. They... they were really going to be a family? She'd thought about it before a good few times, he'd talked about children and all but thoughts were so much different to reality. Thoughts never had to actually happen. One could rethink. There was no such thing as reliving, at least not literally.
"Hontou ni...," she began in a whisper, unable to blink back the tears anymore, and swallowed hard to steady herself at least a little before continuing. "Hontou ni ii no..?"
His smile grew a bit more then, not being able to think of other things than how amazing this was. All those negative and 'what if' thoughts that had run through his mind when he had been at Tomohisa's were gone. Of course they would make it, if there was any couple out there who would make it was them, after all. No one but them, they would make the best parents ever. They made the best couple ever, they agreed and could talk about everything. They had the same views on most things and they... they were the best pair ever, really.
"Iin janai?," he replied then, smiling through the tears as he nodded slightly and then finally turned Yui around - completely forgetting about that she was actually cooking. As he met her eyes it felt as if the whole world came to a stop though. It was like... just by looking her in the eyes, seeing -her- he knew that this decision was the right one. He knew that -she- was the right one. No matter if they had had some small arguments before, probably would have bigger fights... she was -the- one, that one girl you'd meet only once. Jin had never really been one to actually believe in God or some other higher power, but when it came to things like this, when it came to Yui he didn't mind believing that the two of them had been meant to get together. Everything just seemed to be so perfect, even their not so perfect things were perfect. The way he was usually late and how she had that adorable habit of stealing most of the cover when the other one had fallen down on the bed. And even that big-ish fight they had had... even that was perfect because in the end it had made them understand one another a bit better, no?
"Iin deshou?"
Completely forgetting about the pot behind her that, thankfully, wasn't even completely heated up yet, Yui smiled. It didn't matter if it came out looking silly, if her smile was too big or lopsided or anything - she knew, she knew absolutely and for certain that this man in front of her was the one she was supposed to be with forever. Nevermind what people said, that a girl needed to try different things before finding what she liked; wasn't it a little like golf when you try to get to the target in as few tries as possible? And, in golf, were there not such things as a hole in one? Not everyone ever managed to get them - but she, Aragaki Yui, had.
"Mm," she muttered with a nod, overcome with happiness right at this moment. She was the happiest girl in the world, she just knew it, and it was all down to him. Without thinking she suddenly lurched forward, grabbing him around the middle and just holding him close. Right now she wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry so she did both, giggling ecstatically through floods of tears. They were going to be -perfect-.
A couple of minutes passed, during which Jin only held on tight to Yui. This was pretty insane, he thought -again-, not quite sure of how many times he'd been thinking that already. But it was though, it was pretty damn insane because... because it just was. How often did you get told that your girlfriend was pregnant, though? Really? It wasn't as if it was something that happened everyday or anything, this was one of those 'once in a lifetime' things. It was so... It was really crazy. Insane. It was... it was really amazing and awesome but mostly crazy and insane.
"Na Yui," Jin mumbled then as he lifted his eyes to look at the stove behind her. "...the food..." It was as if, just by saying that, Jin remembered that he hadn't eaten in a while. Actually in a good long while, so he was rather hungry. It looked like she'd make curry though and thus it was something he could definitely wait for - who couldn't wait for Yui's curry? It was, like, insanely awesome. She'd make such an awesome mom... The smile on Jin's lips widened slightly as he thought that. His Yui was going to be a -mom-... and he, -he- was going to be a dad. And they'd have a baby and... and...
It wasn't until then that Yui remembered she'd been cooking at all - not thinking that maybe if it was going up in flames or something that Jin would have done something about it rather than just reminding her, she let go of him and turned around. Seemed that it was just getting heated through, luckily for her.
Smiling as she picked up the spoon and gave it a stir, she looked over her shoulder at him. "I hope you don't mind...," she muttered, "I thought you might want something..." A much more selfless reason than she'd originally had, but nevermind that. Now that the awful twisting feeling in her stomach had faded with the worry that this could turn out terribly, she realised that it had been a while since she'd last eaten anything either.
"Anything is good~," Jin replied as he put his arms around Yui's waist again, not wanting to move from where he was. He liked it here, holding on to Yui like this. He liked to be close to her, to hold on to her, to... He grinned slightly as he held his both hands against her stomach and then tipped his head to the right so it leaned against hers.
"If it's a girl I think she should be named Yuiko," he mumbled after a while, not really serious but still thinking that it was a pretty cute name. He hadn't heard of a girl named 'Yuiko' before though but who cared, as long as it was awesome and pretty it was cool. He was seriously thinking of babynames, wasn't he? Oh god... So, so, so, so insane.
Yui giggled at the silly name and shook her head slightly; feeling undeniably 'wifey' stood here in front of the cooker while Jin held her from behind and talked about baby names. But that was okay, she'd have to get used to it at some point anyway, and there was no time like the present!
"If it's a boy," she ventured, honestly not minding either way which gender it turned out so long as it was healthy, "maybe we could call it... Jin...ya?" Okay that hadn't been very good, as of course it wouldn't be since she was trying to think on the spot, and she just ended up giggling again. "Maybe not..."
"Jinya," Jin repeated and seemed to actually think of it for a while, that sounded so weird and reminded him of... of... something. He couldn't quite say -what-, probably food or something random like that. Either way he was not going to name his son 'Jinya'... like, ever. And while this might as well just be a girl he was sure of that at some point he and Yui would have a boy... and if this was one then they would have a girl the second time. Because there would be a second time...
"This...," he mumbled then, suddenly leaving the topic that was babynames. "It's kinda insane." Because it was.
Insane... that was a good thing, right? Jin did tend to say things like that sometimes, that sounded bad but were actually good things as far as his thinking went - but he hadn't moved from where he was, his hands still against her stomach so Yui could only imagine...
"Mm," she muttered in reply, picking up something from beside the cooker to add it to the pan in front of her. She could agree that this was pretty... strange. Like everything was the same as before, but at the same time everything was completely different. "Good insane though... right?"
"Crazy good insane," went Jin's reply to that as he lifted his head and leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. It was very, very tempting to kiss her neck actually, but Jin knew himself well enough and while he could control himself and didn't honestly think that they'd be so crazy to go and have sex right -now-, he knew that if he would do something like that his body would expect something later tonight and... right now he just wanted to be close like this.
"This means...," he started then as he looked down at the things on the stove. "That I'll have to start calling you 'mama'..." And how cute was that? Seriously? Yui-mama. Mama. Yui would be a -mama-...
Oh wow, that was true. Yui blinked and bit her lip as though doing so would contain her smile - understandably her heart swelled with pride at the moniker. 'Mama', she'd be. She was really going to become a mother, not years in the future but... when this baby inside her was born.
"Iiyo," she replied, feeling closer to Jin right now than she ever had; something about knowing that they were going to become parents she supposed. And speaking of that, she wasn't the only one whose baby this was. As if she could resist this. "Papa."
There was no way that Jin couldn't laugh as she called him that. That was so insane, he was going to be a 'papa' now that was... that was sort of weird. He already was a papa really, only he couldn't see the kid yet, because it was still...
"How...," he started then as he realised there was something he didn't know. "Which week is it?" Was it weird that he felt kind of awesome right now? Kind of awesome and he wanted to call everyone, tell everyone that he and Yui - he and his Yui were going to become parents in, what he assumed, was seven or eight months. They were going to become parents and have a little person between them that was their child. Something related to the both of them, they were going to be a family...
As he felt tears in his eyes again, Jin pulled a face at himself and blinked. He was such a crybaby sometimes, it was a bit embarrassing actually.
Yui thought back to what the doctor had told her, adding on the time inbetween the hospital appointment and now. How many weeks were there in a whole pregnancy? Forty? So she was already more than ten percent of the way through it. Half would be twenty, so a quarter would be ten... she was almost a quarter of the way through. Thinking about it like that, it seemed even more surreal than it already had. Incredible, but still surreal.
"On the sixth now...," she replied, trying her best not to think about things too much - though obviously she wasn't having much success - because if she did then she'd probably just cling to him forever. Because there was nobody in the world she was more grateful to in this moment than him, and honestly she didn't think it was possible to love someone any more than this.
Jin smiled then, trying his very... very hardest not to smile -too- much because it would just make him look stupid.
"Ah...," he let out and nodded a bit and tightened the grip around her waist slightly. This was so insane, it was insane because he - he of all damn people - was going to become a father. To his and Yui's kid. And that kid was six weeks old now... Six weeks, that wasn't very much. It would be... it would grow and... then it would become ten weeks, and fifteen and twenty and thirty and then nine months would have passed and... by then Yui'd have a baby, a real damn baby inside her stomach and you have any idea of how amazing -that- is of all things? No, wouldn't think so.
"You...," Jin whispered then and smiled softly as he thought of it. "You'll... have that little one in there for eight more months, that's a long time..."
Eight months... That was almost a whole year, a year that she'd spend most of carrying this baby. Because while it was still very small, that didn't make it any less a baby. One that she was going to keep and they would be together forever as the best parents in the whole world. At least, she couldn't possibly imagine parents better than they'd be. Perhaps their own. But they had experience.
"I suppose it will," she replied thoughtfully. "But after those eight months, I'll be able to let you carry it for me..." Wow, didn't that sound amazing? Maybe it was just mundane but... wow.
Next year he would be a father, next year he would probably be married and live together with Yui and their little kid that... by then would have a name. And a gender. And it would be... it would be so amazing. It would be like, his dream coming true, wouldn't it? Just like he had always dreamed of debuting, he finally got to do it two years ago and that feeling had been amazing. But he had also dreamed about having a family, ever since he was about twenty years old he had wanted a family, a woman that would be his wife, and their little kid. A baby, their baby that would be theirs and no one else's and it was just... it was coming true. He had this wonderful, wonderful girlfriend and she was -pregnant- with their...
"Man...," Jin mumbled and lowered his head slightly. "I'm... really kinda happy right now..."
Yui giggled slightly with a nod, unbelievably happy that this was all going to plan and he was really... genuinely pleased that it was happening. She would barely even have counted herself as an adult yet, hadn't even been an adult in the eyes of the rest of Japan for a -month-, and yet she'd gotten this far in her life... Before long she'd be married and have a baby, and Jin would adore it and play with it just like he had with... ah.
"Maybe if it's a girl she can be friends with Miyuki-chan?," she suggested. That would be nice, wouldn't it? Their little girl, if indeed it was a little girl, playing with Jin's friends' daughter... And she'd be there talking with Hiroki who had been a very nice guy, and Jin would talk to Ryo in the kitchen - just like last time, only plus one.
Jin smiled widely at the thought of that, imagine them hanging out with Ryo and Hiroki and then their kids would be playing with each other? Miyuki was older, but it would only be with a year or two and thus it didn't really matter. She would be able to play with their girl anyway... if it was a girl. If it was a boy...
"Even if it's a boy," Jin started and looked down at the food before them. "I think he could become friends with her anyway... That way Miyuki-chan would always have a guy who'd protect her too. When they start school and all..." Wasn't that cute? It was so cute wasn't it? If it was a boy and they got to play a lot when they were young, of course they would be friends when school started and since he would be Jin's son he would be one of those guys who always protected their friends... Wow, how about that? 'Jin's son'... Or daughter, but no matter what it would be it was still Jin's and Yui's...
"So awesome..."