"I went to her, Keleios." Sam closed his eyes, briefly. "I asked for her help. She didn't, there was no offer. She didn't want anything in return." Maybe that wasn't the best way to present it, but Sam was certain there were no odds slanted in Ruby's favor, there was only the unspoken assumption that Sam would be back for more.
"I thought...When I was on the blood before, it was so my vessel could contain Lucifer, when the time came. So I thought...I thought it would help fend him off. I wasn't wrong, Keleios. I wasn't wrong." He wanted her to share in his triumph, but the joy of it was short lived, the guilt over shadowing any victory he felt.