WHO: Hannah Abbott and Neville Longbottom WHEN: October 15th, before lunch WHERE: Greenhouses SUMMARY: Burping mandrakes. RATING: PG STATUS: Complete
One year.
She knew enough about how it had happened. It had been the killing curse. That, at least, was a blessing. Her mother had not needed to suffer. There had been no torture, not as far as the Healers could say. There were things that ever had whispered gently into her ears as the mourners had filed past her in the line at the end of the funeral. She's in a better place, She was ready for the next adventure, Be proud of her and, At least she was strong enough to throw off the imperius. For that was the way the story went. They couldn't control her, so they killed her.
Hannah knew that she should be proud of her mother, and she was. But she wished that there was no reason to be proud. She wished that her mother had taken on the imperius curse and her father could have realized something was the matter and get her to safety before she'd been murdered. But it hadn't happened that way. Her mother had been too determined, too strong for the imperius to work on her. And so she'd died for her strength and been mourned for her determination.
She knew that her mother had been pursued by Death Eaters. In those last days, her mother had whispered to her father of the plans they had for her. But they hadn't done anything about it. They had taken it as just more reason to fight against the increasing pressure from Death Eaters. On their own. Believed that they could do it. Just the two of them.
Did it haunt her father? Did he blame himself?
She gave a sigh and stared up at the door, her hands on her desk. She could remember McGonagall stepping into the classroom. She'd obviously not wanted to open her mouth. And Hannah bet that everyone in the class felt a sinking feeling in their stomach until she opened her mouth and said, "Hannah Abbott, may I please see you in the hallway?"
The hinges of the door creaked and Hannah's face went white as ivory.
For a second, Neville looked a bit like a deer caught in headlights. Though he was ignorant of the day's significance for Hannah, the expression on her face was unmistakable and it was clear to him he was intruding on something. He scuffed his foot against the frame of the door, half-considering wordlessly backing out of the greenhouse. But Neville had promised Professor Spout he'd look in on the contents of the greenhouse so he settled on running his hand awkwardly through his hair.
"Sorry," he said, "I didn't think anyone'd be in here. I'm just here to feed and burp the mandrakes." He lifted the earmuffs he clutched in his other hand as if his excuse for being there needed confirmation. "It's, uh, time sensitive otherwise I'd..." He shrugged.
Neville's appearance was, at least, not nearly as terrifying as Professor McGonagall. She took a deep breath, and then another, and then once again as she tried to calm herself down. Her father was fine. There was nothing wrong. It was only Neville, and this was a greenhouse and Neville was always about the greenhouses.
"No," she said, as soon as she'd been able to gather herself back together. "Don't be sorry." The color slowly returned to her cheeks and she looked down at her bag at her side. She gripped the edges of the top and squeezed them together into a fist as she forced herself to keep from bolting out of there.
After a moment she looked up at Neville with a weak smile. "Want to duplicate those?" she said, nodding at the earmuffs. "I haven't got anything else to do and I'd be happy to help you. If you'd like."
"Sure. Thanks," he said, returning her smile, albeit uncertainly rather than weakly. He wanted to add an 'If you're sure...', but figured that would be prying, which Neville didn't like to do. If her expression hadn't already indicated something was wrong, watching her collect herself definitely would have. But she wouldn't have offered to help him if she hadn't wanted to, so he pointed his wand at his earmuffs to duplicate them and then kept the duplicate for himself just in case.
"Do you see any bottles of plant food over there?" he asked, hooking the earmuffs around his neck and then turning to the table by the door. "Professor Sprout said she'd leave some burp cloths, too." His eyes lit on a short stack of old rags and a note atop them saying, 'Don't forget these.' "Oh, they're right here."
"Yeah, I do," she said. She mimicked his action and put the earmuffs around her neck. Mandrakes brought back memories of second year and happier times. Well, happier when they hadn't involved Justin being in trouble. She sighed softly when she had distance between herself and Neville. She wasn't about to start sighing about Justin now. She needed to not think about him. Not today. It would be too much and she didn't want to turn into a lump who just hid under her sheets and asked someone to bring her food up to her. Susan knew the significance of today and would have been willing, but Hannah wanted to be stronger than that. Like her mum.
"Plenty of food here," she said, grabbing the bin that held the bottles. They jostled together and she gave a weak laugh. "Yeah, don't want to forget the burp cloths. Remember when Ernie let the cloth drop and it got all over his robes?" Hannah looks up at Neville with a glimmer of a smile. She set the bottles down on the table next to the pots and reached for a burp cloth.
"Ha! How could I forgot?" he said, grinning at her now. "I thought he might cry." He handed her one of the cloths and flipped another over his shoulder, checking to make sure it wouldn't slide off. He shifted his earmuffs up over his ears, casting a quick non-permanent sticking charm so they didn't slide off either. The last thing he wanted to do was faint in front of Hannah. He gave her another grin and once her earmuffs were in place, carefully tugged the first mandrake out of its pot. He moved quickly, shifting the baby mandrake to the crook of his elbow, fitting one of the bottles to its mouth, and murmuring soothing words and sounds to it as it ate. Once it emptied the bottle, he moved it to his shoulder, patted it on the back until he felt a rumble against his shoulder, and returned the satiated mandrake to its pot.
They moved in silence out of necessity as they worked and Neville kept the bulk of his attention on the mandrake in his arms, but he occasionally glanced at Hannah to see that she was doing all right. Once the last mandrake was napping in its pot, he unstuck his earmuffs and moved them back down to his neck.
"Sometimes I wish I had those Muggle earmuffs that play music when I do stuff like this," he said once he'd turned his attention back to her. "It's quiet work."
Hannah had kept focus on the mandrakes as they worked, giving little attention to Neville. This didn't come as naturally to her and she was a bit afraid she would drop a mandrake in front of him and he would think that she was something of a monster. For who but a horrible person could drop a baby? Even if the baby was a mandrake. But she did look up at him every once in awhile. And she caught him cooing down at the mandrake in his arms. Even though she didn't know what he was saying, it struck her as remarkably charming. She'd quickly looked away, but she'd worn a smile that made the edges of her mouth sore as she'd tried to get rid of it. It had been a nice break from feeling so somber about her mother's death and by the time it wound down and away she felt a little better, even if the memories had returned. Smiling had done her some good.
She pulled the earmuffs down and cast an augmenti on two cloths and handed one to Neville before wiping her hands down on the it, working to get the dirt out of her fingernails. "I wish I had those too," she said. She thought about making a weak joke about next time the two of them playing a game, but she had a feeling Neville would probably be going about this work on his own next time. It wasn't as though she often sulked about in the greenhouses.
"Let's ask She-Carrow if she's got any," he said wryly, glancing up from his hands where he'd also been cleaning the dirt from under his fingernails. "I bet she'd let us use them."
Hannah let out a weak laugh. "Good idea," she said. "You can be the one to do the asking. I'll stand behind you for support." She was quiet a moment, working off the last bit of dirt around her wrists. "Second year feels like a hundred years ago, doesn't it?"
"It does," he said, dropping his cloths in a bin by the door. "Life seemed a lot simpler then, didn't it? I mean, aside from the basilisk petrifying our friends." But after a moment of thought, he gave a humorless laugh. "You know what, I take that back. I don't think life's ever been simple here at Hogwarts."
"Yeah," said Hannah, returning his humorless laugh. "It's funny. I guess all that time I just thought everything was going to suddenly stop. That everything that'd been so difficult and problematic would simply solve itself and we could go on with our lives. But things everywhere have just gotten as difficult outside just as they have inside the walls. Everyone said that Dumbledore was protecting us but there was only so much he could do." She didn't want to sound disloyal to her former Headmaster. She knew he had taken care of them. "Even Death Eaters came here," she said softly. "Even before he was dead."
Neville worried the inside of his cheek with his teeth as Hannah spoke, his expression unreadable. He didn't really know what to say to Hannah. He might not have remembered the day, but he knew the toll everything had taken on Hannah's life. Concern flickered across his features and he brought a hand to her shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze.
"Things'll stop one day," he said finally. "I can't say when because I don't know, but for every Death Eaters, there's someone out there who's willing to do the right thing. We just have to help them see what they're capable of and encourage them when they're discouraged. Dumbledore was never the only one dedicated to taking down You Know Who. He was just the one looking out for us here. But now it's up to us to look after Hogwarts."
Her eyes lifted to his as he squeezed her shoulder and she managed a half smile, nodding with his words. She knew he was right. She knew she shouldn't let herself get so down about things, but sometimes it was so hard. Hannah wasn't an optimist, and it often showed, and now was one of those times. Even though Neville made no gesture or expression that suggested he thought it was tiresome to him that she would be like this, she couldn't help but wonder if it was a trial for him to comfort her.
"You're right," she said. "I know you're right. Sometimes when I go off alone I forget to be more positive." She laughed gently at herself and pushed some hair back over her ear. "It's easier to know that everything is going to come out right when you've someone to remind you." Hannah took a deep breath and gave a steadfast nod. "I'm going to look after Hogwarts. It's what I want to do now. It's more important than our marks or anything like that. More important than losing blood. But you know that."
Neville merely nodded at her final words, the back of his right hand giving a phantom twinge at the memory of his last detention, but gave her shoulder another squeeze before letting his hand fall away. "Let me know if you ever need reminding and I will," he said sincerely.
Hannah nodded and then dipped her head, laughing weekly. She let her head hang there for a moment before looking up at him. "Okay," she agreed. "And I'm not saying that I want you to ever need reminding, but I think if you do that it's only fair that I get a turn at reminding you. I feel as though you've encouraged me so much and I've done nothing at all to encourage you all year."
"Thanks," he said, smiling at her, "but I'm all right." Neville wasn't sure he wanted to bother Hannah with his troubles, but he also didn't think it would be very tactful to say so. He just didn't want to do anything to discourage her and he had a feeling any discouragement on his part would be a discouragement to her.
After wiping his still damp hand on his pant leg, he slid his pocketwatch out of his pocket to check the time. "We'd better head inside for lunch," he said, holding up his watch for her to see.
"If you say," Hannah said. She watched him take his pocketwatch out and she felt her insides clench. She'd grown used to seeing her friends pull out the watches they'd been given for their seventeenth birthdays. Even Justin had gotten one. But her father had forgotten in the midst of all his mourning. And Eve had been in Egypt and Otto had only sent a card. She knew that they all probably just assumed that she'd been given a timepiece and she'd never brought it up. At first she had just thought that her father had forgotten and he'd remember, but he never had and she had been too afraid to bring it up to him because she knew it would make him deeply upset.
Her mother wouldn't have let anyone forget.
"I never got mine," she said before she could hold her tongue.
"Lunch?" he asked without thinking, but then he remembered his watch and realization dawned on him. "Oh. A watch?" He pulled his own back and studied it for a moment before stuffing it back in his pocket. He'd actually dreaded the day he got his because of course his Gran gave him his dad's old pocketwatch. It was morbid, carrying around so many of his dad's old things, but he didn't think he could have it any other way. Because even though his new wand responded to him a lot better, he still missed carrying his dad's wand.
"Yeah," she said quickly, recovering. "Right, well, we better hurry off to lunch before Crabbe and Goyle can eat all of it." But she didn't look directly at him right away, feeling embarrassed, although she didn't try to get ahead of him. After she felt completely in control she turned and gave Neville a grin.
"So," she said. "I've got an idea…" And she leaned in toward him, whispering ways where they could utilize mandrakes to give the Carrows hell as they headed toward the Great Hall.