anthony goldstein. (goldest) wrote in caged, @ 2013-09-26 20:54:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | ! 97-09, [ log ], anthony goldstein, june chambers |
WHO: Anthony Goldstein and June Chambers
WHERE: Hogwarts - outside
WHAT: Anthony tells June his news from earlier.
WHEN: Right after lessons.
STATUS: Completed log.
This was just an awful week that Anthony thought couldn’t end soon enough. Disappeared could mean anything - it could be mean dead, it could mean escaped, it could mean Azkaban. But judging by the fact that no Ministry official had descended upon Hogwarts to question him and Rachel, he had trouble believing escaped. Which meant that Rami was dead or in Azkaban and both left Anthony sick to his stomach. The worst part is that likely he would never know exactly what happened.
His chest had felt tight all afternoon and he’d had trouble both breathing and paying attention in his lessons and when the last one was over for the day, he’d headed outside to try to get some air. At least there was a bit of privacy out here, he would explain to his friends later what had happened, but he needed to be able to process it first. He started to walk and headed towards the lake where he could sit and watch the Giant Squid.
June had been taking what she thought was a well-deserved break from the castle to work on a painting of the mountains over the lake. When she was painting, she could focus on nothing but the brushes and the colours and escape her problems, for a little while. Most of the time. She couldn't get the trees of the Forbidden Forest quite right, which was why she looked up and saw Anthony's figure, not too far off.
In a few minutes, she'd packed up her things and wandered over to him, her painting tucked under her arm. "I didn't expect to see you out here," she said quietly. "It's a little chilly."
Anthony hadn’t been expecting anyone else so when he heard Junie’s voice he turned around and quickly used the back of his hand to wipe his eyes. He hadn’t really been crying, his eyes were just watering from the wind...or at least that’s what he hoped that she would think. “Oh,” he said. “I - wanted some air,” he told her.
“How is your painting?”
She did notice that he looked like he'd been crying, and suddenly felt bad that he was asking about her painting when he looked so upset. She glanced down at the work she was dissatisfied with, and then back at him. "Oh, it's fine, I was getting frustrated so I decided to give it up for a bit..."
Her voice trailed off, and she nervously hugged her materials to her chest. She didn't normally feel nervous around Anthony, and wasn't sure what to do with that. "Anthony..." she said slowly. "Is everything okay?"
Anthony was going to ask her if he could see it until she asked him if he was okay. He wasn’t okay. He licked his lips nervously and looked out past the lake before he shook his head, unsure of what to tell her because he didn’t actually know what was going on. How could he explain what was happening when he wasn’t sure himself?
He took a deep breath. “My cousin, Rachel’s brother…”
June instinctively went into Prefect Mode. Listen, ask questions, be understanding. "Do you want to talk about what happened? You don't have to," she said. She bent down to lay her painting in the grass. "But I can listen if you want to talk." She lifted her hand to rub his shoulder.
“You don’t have to Prefect me Junie,” Anthony said blinking several times before putting his hand on her shoulder. He knew that she just wanted to help her but he wasn’t sure that she could. “My cousin is missing, no one knows what’s happened.” He blinked again, he didn’t want to cry in front of June.
She was about to say something about how being a prefect was the only way that she really knew how to deal with these sorts of things, and since he was her friend, she wanted to help, but then he kept talking, and she found that she didn't have any good response. Without thinking, she murmured, "Oh."
After a pause, she stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. Not knowing what to say, it seemed like the next best thing.
Anthony let June hug him and he put his arms around her. The hug did make him feel a little better even though the hug wasn’t actually fixing anything. “Thanks, sweetpea,” he told her, his voice cracking just a little bit. He was content to stand there for a few minutes hugging her.
"I'm really sorry," June said. She wasn't going to mention that it still sounded as though he was about to cry. She knew better than to talk about that kind of things with boys, they always hated it. "I know it doesn't help anything, but I'm sorry." She sighed, rising up a bit on her toes so she could rest her chin on his shoulder.
Anthony leaned down and kissed her forehead quickly, unsure of what else to say. He was just glad that she was there as much as he had wanted to be alone at first and he was glad that he didn’t really have to explain much to her. Later he would probably wonder if he had gone too far or crossed a line by kissing her forehead, but right now he just wanted to hug her for a bit longer. It made him feel slightly better.
“Oh shit, Junie, your painting,” he said taking a step back away from her, remembering that she had been holding it.
"Oh." Looking down at where she'd laid it on the grass, June frowned for a moment, and then shook her head. "It's nothing, I wasn't happy with it, anyway, so don't worry." She could still feel the feathery pressure where he'd kissed her. Feeling oddly flustered, she raised her hand and brushed some hair away from her face.
"I mean," she continued, "You're more important than a silly painting."
Anthony reached down to pick it up, lest it blow away and get lost or get dirty and it become ruined. Without asking he looked at it, distracting himself from the bad news of the day and the moment that had passed a second ago. Anthony was perhaps far less critical of June than she was on herself. “I think it’s good,” he told her, running his free hand through his hair quickly and nervously. “And I don’t think it’s silly. It’s really good.”
"The trees aren't right," she said, pointing to where the trees looked more like fluffy balls of cotton than... well, trees. "So I was trying to fix them, but I was frustrated, and then I saw you, so..." She pressed her lips together, sighing again. She hugged her arms to her chest, feeling flustered and nervous still. It felt especially important to say the right things to him right now. "I really care about you, you know." She glanced at him, then looked out at the lake. "You're a good friend."
“You’re a good friend to me too,” Anthony said, still holding her painting. Honestly the trees looked just fine to him, he could tell that she had worked really hard on them.
“I came out here because I wanted to be by myself but I’m glad I ran into you,” he told her. “I haven’t told Michael and Terry yet, I mean it’s - no one knows where they are but…” he shook his head and looked down at the ground. “If he’s escaped or done something stupid, someone from the Ministry would be here asking Rachel and I questions right?”
"Um," June said, mostly to buy herself some time to think of something encouraging to say. She couldn't really argue with the sense that things were probably not good for Anthony's grandparents. The idea made her feel slightly queasy. She didn't understand why these things were happening. She gripped her arms tighter, fingers digging into her jumper. "I mean, you two are at Hogwarts. It's not like you would likely know anything, if something did happen, right?"
“I don’t know it could be anything -,” Anthony said shrugging. Anything bad anyway - Rami was only slightly more magical than he was. No the Ministry had definitely gone off the deep end, he was certain they would do whatever they could to contain the so-called threat even if it meant questioning two kids hundreds of miles away.
June had a sneaking suspicion that the Ministry wouldn't stop at already having read all their mail, but she knew that that was not the right thing to say right now. She wasn't sure if she should persist in optimism or agree with Anthony. "Well..." she said briskly, beginning something encouraging, but then her shoulders fell some. "Anthony, I don't really know. I hope they're all right, I really do. I'm afraid if I say it'll be okay, you'll say I'm full of it."
“Sorry - I was just thinking out loud,” Anthony told her, he went back to looking at the ground. Honestly he didn’t really know what he had wanted her to say or how he had wanted her to react. “I don’t need you to say anything Junie, I just - maybe I just needed to tell someone.” He probably should have earlier in the day but it hadn’t felt real at all.
"Okay." June sighed again, wondering if it would be too much to hug him again. Instead, she reached to take his hand. "I can just listen, and you can tell me things. I'm good at keeping secrets, it's part of being a prefect." She smiled awkwardly at him.
“You’re Prefecting me again,” Anthony told her, but he let her take his hand. “I know you’re good at keeping secrets, I mean I’m going to tell Terry and Michael - I just needed to breath before I told them. “ Telling them right before going to lessons had seemed like a bad idea, it was bad enough that he’d found out then and let it stew while he was meant to be paying attention. He’d barely made it through Potions without burning down the school.
She shifted a little on her feet, feeling bad for 'Prefecting him.' She secretly wondered if other people thought this when she was trying to be helpful and just didn't feel like they could say anything. But this wasn't about her, so she said, "Right, of course. We don't have to talk, I just..." Despite herself, she felt her throat burning, and turned away, though she didn't let go of his hand.
“June?” Anthony asked, his voice quiet. Had he said something wrong? He tugged at her hand to get her attention after he said her name. “You just what?”
"Don't know what to say," June said thickly. "And feel bad that I don't know what to say, because I want to make you feel better but I can't, I can't fix anything that anybody's upset about, and..." She knuckled away a few tears. "I'm sorry, it's not about me, it's about you, and your family."
“I don’t think you’re making it about yourself,” Anthony said softly. “I think that everything is in a bad and you just want to help make everything better.” He didn’t think there was anything wrong with her being upset, it would have been stranger if she hadn’t been upset at all. June cared about people and he knew that.
"But I can't," she said, despairingly. Now that she had what felt like permission to be upset, she sniffed a little. June knew that she was being silly, but she felt sad and overwhelmed and faintly embarrassed. "I feel terrible for you, and Rachel."
“That’s because you’re a good person who cares about other people,” Anthony told her. He looked towards the lake. “We can sit by the lake for a bit if you want.” That sounded good to him anyway, that way they could both be a little bit upset away from the prying eyes inside the castle.
"That would be nice," she sniffed. At least he didn't think she was being self-centered. She looked at him for a moment, biting her lip, and then, without letting go of his hand, she flopped onto the grass.
Anthony followed suit and sat on the grass, doing a protective charm on the artwork so it wasn’t ruined. He sat with his legs crossed and didn’t say anything for a second. This year wasn’t supposed to be like this, he wasn’t supposed to be worried about people dying and disappearing, it was supposed to be his year to be obsessed with revision and his marks. “At least we can still come out here,” he finally said.
"Yeah." June scooted up against up, leaning her head against his shoulder and hugging her knees to her chest. Even though she wasn't really the one who needed to be comforted right now, it felt nice to curl up against him. Trying to lighten the mood a little (she was done crying now), she added wryly, "Next time, let's bring a blanket, though."