caged npcs (keymasters) wrote in caged, @ 2013-09-23 20:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! 97-09, [ phoenix press ] |
Phoenix Press: Issue 1.
Many copies left in some loos, corridors, classrooms, the greenhouse, and Gryffindor/Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw Common Rooms:
ESTABLISHED 1997 | TRUTH IN TRYING TIMES | ISSUE 01, SEPT 1997 |
Albatross In the most unfortunate of circumstances, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is now run by Death Eaters attempting to brainwash students with the prejudice and hatred they subscribe to. Amycus and Alecto Carrow and Severus Snape are Death Eaters known to many, and were among those who attacked Hogwarts last year, battling students and staff, and are directly responsible for the death of Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. The powers that be have pointed the finger at our own Harry Potter, who has time and time again saved our school from the wrath of You-Know-Who. They seek to turn us against him and onto their favor, but they are not looking out for the best interest of Hogwarts or its students. Last June, Amycus and Alecto Carrow stormed Hogwarts with other known Death Eaters and went toe-to-toe with students and staff in pursuit of Harry Potter in a plan hatched by You-Know-Who with the aid of Draco Malfoy. Not only did they attack students and staff members, but they complacently allowed Seveus Snape to murder Headmaster Albus Dumbledore in cold blood. This murder was witnessed by Harry Potter and reported widely, but covered up by those who seek to have You- Know-Who restored to power. |
SAVLON, EPISKEY, AND BUTTERFLY STITCHES Healing With & Without a Wand Butterfly Hogwarts can be a dangerous place, now more than ever. With the re-introduction of blood quills in detention and dark hexes being taught in class, it seems prudent to brush up on quick, easy fixes for minor injuries, both magical and muggle. Aside from Episkey, a few of my favourites include: Inhibete sanguinem: Light swish. This stops bleeding. It is only meant for minor injuries and never nosebleeds. Aguamenti sterile: Steady flick, quick swish. Then point. This is your basic water-making charm, only it sterilizes the water. It’s perfect for cleansing wounds after you’ve stopped the bleeding. Of course, saline and alcohol work wonders, too. Be careful and pay attention when you cast or you’ll end up with a much too forceful stream of water. Obtorpesco: Swish and flick, then point. Here, muggles might use ice, so that is always an option. This spell feels cold, helps numb the area and reduces swelling There’s no perfect cure for injuries caused by dark magic, but, if blood quills are anything like they say they are, I imagine this would help if applied afterwards. Saepire: Two left swishes above wound. This spell creates a protective layer above the wound, preventing you from picking at the scab and allowing it to heal faster. Muggle plasters accomplish the same thing, and are a good item to carry around in your pocket. Savlon: Muggle antiseptic cream. Works miracles and helps prevent scarring. Ferula: One quick, downward flick, then tap. Use to bind and splint broken limbs. It also eases the pain. For all major injuries, see Madam Pomfrey immediately. When in doubt, see her anyway. Also, keep in mind that injuries sustained from dark magic are more difficult to cure. Be careful out there, Hogwarts. I hope no wayward hexes hit you in dark arts, but, if they do, I hope these spells help. |
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Though Severus Snape was thought to be a friend to Headmaster Dumbledore, he showed his true colors that night, murdering his longtime employer and taking his position. Their prejudice is evident in the topics taught every day in Muggle Studies. Where, traditionally, the focus has been on understanding muggles with no bias for or against their ways of life, the new curriculum focuses heavily on the shortcomings of muggle society with no apologies for its clear bias. Further, muggle innovations are left out completely, and comparative wizarding shortcomings – such as war – are not mentioned. This is second to the cruelty that is encouraged in Dark Arts classes. Traditionally, Defense Against the Dark Arts is taught to teach young witches and wizards how to stand up against dark magic. But this has been cast aside in favor of performing spells meant to hurt |
others – spells that are useful only to those who would seek a life of harm and criminal activity. Those who cannot stomach the cruelty are punished, and the most cruel among students are rewarded. Hogwarts has become a factory for future Death Eaters and those who would fall in line with You-Know-Who, attempting to terrorize wizards and muggles alike. This support can also be seen in the new rules at Hogwarts, banning information that has not been approved by the Ministry's new regime – the same regime that has accused muggleborn witches and wizards of being thieves, despite the physical impossibilities of stealing magic from another. While older students can look back to a time when Hogwarts was there to guide them onto whatever path they would choose, younger students will never know this luxury as they are herded like sheep toward a life of servitude for those with hateful ideals. |
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MAGICAL-MUGGLE RELATIONS: THE REAL HISTORY |
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Flagito Professor Alecto Carrow would have us believe that Muggle-wizard relations have always been as they are now, defined by ignorance on one side and distrust, subterfuge, and fear on the other. However, anyone who's been paying attention in History of Magic (all right, so not very many of us) will be aware that this has not always been the case. Many purists look to Salazar Slytherin's example as the first to articulate their philosophy, but it wasn't just 'liberal' founders Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw who objected to Slytherin's desire to ban Muggleborns from Hogwarts. In the tenth century, his views were seen as backwards and unfounded, and Muggleborns were given the affectionate epithet 'Magbobs' and looked on as welcome and gifted students. |
Many of the pure-blood families of Britain spent most of their history living side-by-side with Muggles. They exploited their Muggle tenants for financial gain under the manorial system, and hob-knobbed with aristocratic Muggles in search of power. Muggles were good enough to take money from, and good enough to befriend if it meant a piece of influence. In fact, Lucius Malfoy, the illustrious ancestor of Carrows' golden boy Draco Malfoy (not to be confused with his father Lucius Malfoy, who is not in fact five hundred years old), is known to have vied for the hand of Muggle Queen Elizabeth I. Obviously he was unsuccessful, but one has to wonder if the Malfoys, now so intent on preventing wizard-Muggle marriage and the integration of Muggleborns into society, would feel the same if they were ruling the country. (We should all shudder to think of this.) |
The tide turned when Muggles (foolishly, we'll admit) began to attempt to persecute witches and wizards out of superstition. Fearful of burnings at the stake and being driven out of their homes, the magical community created the International Statute of Secrecy in 1692 and went underground. However, it seems worth pointing out that little danger to wizards was actually produced by witch hunts. After all, we can Disapparate and produce Flame-Freezing Charms. Wendelin the Weird was famous for enjoying being burned at the stake. So know this: any family tree a pure-blood produces from before the Statute is full of shit. Wizards and Muggles got on just fine in the past, and if Certain Persons would stop thinking that not being able to do magic (or coming from parents who can't) is a capital offense, there's no reason that can't be true again. |
PAGE 2 (BACK) |
UNDESIRABLES AT HOGWARTS Animagus There's reason to believe those featured on this list are or are affiliated with Death Eaters and should be regarded as dangerous and avoided when possible. Proceed with caution. Regina Avery Alecto Carrow Amycus Carrow Vincent Crabbe Gregory Goyle Draco Malfoy Theodore Nott Severus Snape |
Blood Quills & Protecting the Weak Faith
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Reflection Bronco Let’s reflect. I would like all of you to think back to a simpler time. Do you remember your first train ride to Hogwarts? I certainly do. The excitement of making new friends, indulging in the treats from the trolley lady… Hypothesising about what house you were going to be sorted into, and hoping that you would be able to fit in with your new classmates. It all seemed to happen so slowly. The tentative steps out of the boats, the even slower walk to the Sorting Hat, and the time it took for it to make up it’s mind and yell out the House that would define you for the next seven years. Do you remember the relief that came afterwards? The accompanying joy that said, “this is it! This is real! I’m finally a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!” This year, five students never got to experience that overwhelming sense of joy, let alone take a step off of the Hogwarts Express. Pepper, Portia, Nigel, Jeremiah, and Hilda, through means that we are unaware of, were kept on the train |
and their whereabouts are still unknown. These children were 11-years-old. What child is so malicious and dangerous that our government would see it fit to lure them away from their parents under the false pretense of attending Hogwarts, only to have them shipped to, what? Be Wandless? Share a cell in Azkaban? Our administration hasn’t been compliant in answering questions regarding their whereabouts, and I would urge you all not to be so naive as to think that our Headmaster, Severus Snape, wouldn’t know. As we are faced with trials and tribulations this year, I would urge you all to think about the would-be first years that never had a chance. Think about not only this year, but the generation after us. Will that be the status quo? I, and the rest of us at Phoenix Press, hope that you will embark to be a beacon of hope to those who are unable to speak up for themselves. "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr. |
DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS
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How Muggles Have Influenced Us |
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Francois During Muggle Studies, Professor Carrow has been trying to fill our head with purely negative things about Muggles and their way of life. It’s true, they are flawed like so many of us and the way they do things seems strange and difficult to those of us who can just make toast with the flick of the wrist. However what you may not know is how we have appropriated Muggle technology into our daily lives and many of you might not know it. The wireless that you might be listening to this very moment was originally discovered by Muggles, and is still widely used by them to this day for news, music and entertainment, just |
like ours. The train that we take to Hogwarts was originally developed by Muggles and then modified for magical use - purebloods, Muggleborns, and halfbloods alike have all ridden it without complaint. Before electricity was widely adopted, Muggles had created candles and kerosene lamps for light, which are used nightly inside this castle and wizarding homes around the world. Even the journals issued to sixth and seventh years have some similarities to the World Wide Web, a network of computers Muggles use to share information across the world. In summary, there is more that unites us than divides, and cultural influence flows both directions. |