WHO: Hannah Abbott and Neville Longbottom WHEN: September 6th, after lunch (before wards) WHERE: Greenhouses SUMMARY: Tutoring session RATING: NC-17 STATUS: Complete
They'd already gone through most of the next two week's material. Hannah knew just about everything there was to know about saltwater plants. Well, maybe not. But more than she needed to know to get an O if she retained it all. "So," she said, tickling her chin with her own quill. Her left hand was still wet from handling the crystal coral. "That was louder than I thought." The coral had started screaming when her hand had gotten near it. Even though the water muffled some of it, there was something about the scream that left her with a minor headache. She jotted down a note and then paused, quill back to dancing against her face.
She was quiet for a moment. Ever since Neville had stood up in Muggle Studies class she had felt guilty. Apparently, there was something about his courage that made her feel as though she were doing something wrong. She had agreed that the magical was better than muggle when it came to their toasters and toast lesson. He hadn't. And he'd given her a look.
And she'd felt bad. She didn't want to be a coward...
"Mm, yes," Hannah said, as though he'd asked her something. "My sketches aren't as good as yours. Can you draw anything else besides plants?"
Neville's hands had immediately gone to his ears the second the coral had started screaming, giving her a half-smile as she commented on its loudness, and he waited until she moved her hand away to lower his own. He was oblivious to her guilt, the look from Muggle Studies nearly forgotten in the humid quiet of the greenhouse. He didn't like dwelling on what happened in Muggle Studies anyway. Or Dark Arts, for that matter. He gave them both the momentary attention they deserved and that was about it. He figured that was the only way he'd get through the school year with his sanity intact. So far it was working. Plants definitely helped.
"Ah, um, some," he said, covering his latest sketch with his hand. "I like yours."
She thought about bringing up Muggle Studies, but she couldn't figure out a way to say something without him agreeing that she had been a coward. He'd told her to be herself and she hadn't done that. She'd agreed with what she knew to be false. She hadn't defended Muggles like she'd planned during summer when she'd seen the topics in her text.
Her father's life could depend on it.
She shook her head as though she could get that nasty thought out of her head and chewed on her lip for a moment before giving him a weak smile and moving his hand off his drawing. "Come on then," she said. "Don't be so shy. What else can you draw? I want to see."
Brow furrowed slightly in concern, Neville studied Hannah, noting the shake of her head and her weak smile. He pulled his sketchbook away, nestling it in the crook of his elbow as he fixed Hannah with a serious look. Even as the skin at the back of his neck prickled at being told not to be shy, he ignored what she said and his look of concern didn't waver. "Is something wrong," he asked quietly.
She started to reach for his book but her hands dropped down to the table they were at. "Well, I mean," she said. She didn't meet his eyes and instead looked at his hands. "Sort of," she said. Even though they were in the greenhouses, his nails didn't have any dirt in them. She wondered if there was a spell for that, and almost asked him instead of answering his question, but Hannah knew that would be rude.
"It's only that… I wish I hadn't immediately agreed that the magical toast was better. It wasn't, it was just quicker."
"Ahhhh," he said slowly. He had to admit that at the time he hadn't understood why any of the DA had lied and said the magical toast was better. The purists he could understand. They were as predisposed to skepticism about Muggle things as he was to skepticism about their new Muggle Studies class. He'd figured it was obvious what Carrow was getting at with the whole experiment and though he'd been tempted to lie himself and say the Muggle toast was better, he hadn't wanted to fall into her trap. He shifted his sketchbook back to the table and folded his hands in front of him.
"But you know that wasn't the point," he said, tone even and not at all accusatory. "You know what she's trying to do, right?"
"Yeah, she's trying to convince all of us that Muggles are animals and that we're superior. I know better than that. I've met some, you know. Justin's family. They're perfectly lovely people. I love studying about Muggles. They're just misunderstood by so many witches and wizards." There were two subjects Hannah had always been passionate about -- Muggle Studies and Arithmancy. It angered her that her favourite class was being overrun by purist ideology, but she felt like her hands were tied now.
"It's, well, it's like a little foundation, I suppose. If she can convince you toast is better, what's next?"
"Exactly," he said, nodding. "And I don't think we should let her build that foundation. I mean, there're people like Avery and Malfoy who're going to agree with what she has to say no matter what anyone else says, but I don't think we should make her job easier for her. Not when it's a job You-Know-Who sent her here to do."
Hannah pursed her lips tight together until they paled as she considered what he said. "I know you're right," she said. "But did you see what Malfoy said about my dad?" Even though she had gone through with her commitment of the graffiti, she had felt exhausted from her nerves that night, cuddling up with Megan to fall asleep easily enough after her work. She'd been so sure that she'd be caught and something would happen to her dad. Even now, her stomach twisted with nausea as she considered what it would be like to lose a second parent.
Neville leaned forward, propping his elbows on the table and resting his chin in his hands. It was complicated. That was for sure. He'd spent the entire summer thinking about what he'd do if he ever saw Snape again and he'd weighed the consequences of every scenario. It hadn't always ended well for him or his Gran. But Snape had killed Dumbledore. It was the right thing to do. Of course, Neville hadn't done anything. He'd stayed glued to his seat as Snape presided over the Great Hall at meals. Now, faced with the Carrows, he was met with a similar conundrum. They had played a role in killing Dumbledore and they were a more accessible evil. It still might not end well for him or his Gran. But his Gran was, well, much more competent than Neville could ever hope to be.
"I mean, you're right," he said finally. "Malfoy was right. But your dad's in danger no matter what, you know. I'm not saying we'll stop You-Know-Who from here at Hogwarts, but if he wins, no one's safe. No matter what. Unless you're Malfoy."
She finally looked up at Neville. Her eyes were full of concern and worry, but after a moment's hesitation she nodded. He was right, mostly. She was still worried about her dad and she was concerned that something would happen to him because of her. "Maybe I can speak up," she said. "It's not that I don't want to. But I have a badge and maybe I can help the DA as long as I have it. Ernie's already in danger of losing his badge, I bet, and I don't know what the others are going to do." She was sort of finding excuses, but she knew they were legitimate ones and she thought they were worth exploring. Even though nothing was official, she sort of felt like Neville and Ginny were the leaders of the DA and she wanted to have their guidance on what sort of actions she should take.
Neville pressed his lips together and squinted at Hannah, regarding her silently for a moment. What she said made sense, especially what about her badge. The DA was still the same half-formed idea he'd had at Hannah's pool party and the year was still very young. There was no telling what they'd need in future. Hannah was in a different position, too. The Carrows may not have come out and said it, but they knew who he was, he could tell. They'd never buy any sort of act from him and he definitely didn't want to sell them one.
"Well," he said, shifting his chin over to one hand so the other could find the back of his head, "you should do what feels right to you. I just know I can't let them get away with what they're doing to Hogwarts without saying anything. I think it's what Dumbledore would've wanted."
Hannah laughed softly after a pause, turning to look at him with a real smile. "Well, gosh Neville," she said. "Here I was hoping you'd have all the answers." She hadn't expected it of him, and she wasn't disappointed. But it would have been easier if he knew what she ought to do. "I think I'm going to be careful for now," she said. "Feel everything out. I guess I could always protest later. Easier to start out safer and then speak up louder after. You can't really do it backwards with Death Eaters, can you?"
She sighed and tilted her head away from him in a burst of indecision. "But then again… No. I'll just follow along for now and see what happens. Just as long as everyone who matters knows that I don't really want to listen to the Carrows. And maybe I can patrol so that the DA can do graffiti. We can't always rely on Seamus and Parvati. That'll be a start." She tilted her head back to him. "But if Padma and Anthony are able to stay on their good side then maybe I don't have to…" Turning her head to face him, she shook it. "Sorry, Neville. I can be really indecisive. I just want to do what's best for everyone. This really, really matters. I can feel it. I'm so nervous. What if I make the wrong choice?"
"I think," Neville started, but then he twisted his mouth in thought for a few moments and ruffled his hair. "I think if you're doing the right thing there is no wrong choice. But," he paused again, straightening in his seat, "it's September. I'm sure things are going to get worse, so what makes sense right now might not make sense in a few months. It can't hurt to be careful."
"I guess I have a lot of thinking to do," Hannah said. But she'd push that off for later, when she was sitting on her bed and had the opportunity to just relax and weigh the pros and cons. There was no need to bother Neville with her concerns. He surely had enough of his own.
"Well!" she said in a cheerful voice. "Happier thoughts, right?" She reached for his sketchbook. "Give it here."
Neville regarded Hannah again, eyes squinting for a brief moment. He was a little skeptical of the quick subject change. "If you need to talk about it, though, I'm here," he said finally. "I mean, I know I'm not Ernie or Susan, but I'm still here." He shrugged. He wasn't officially the DA's leader or anything like that, but he felt some responsibility to at least be someone they could lean on in Hermione's absence. However, with his offer on the figurative table, he slid his sketchbook across the actual table with an awkward smile.
"Thanks," she said. "That means a lot." She hadn't thought much of Neville at the beginning of last year. She'd considered him a sort of a friend, but now that everything was changing he was someone that she wanted to be surrounded by. Even though he was acting out in dangerous ways, it was almost as though he were safe and steady. Sort of like Ernie, but different. She couldn't put a finger on it. "I know when you offer something you mean it. Like helping me with Herbology," she smiled. "You're a really helpful sort of person."
When he slid his sketchbook over she took it gingerly and opened it, her finger skimming over the drawings of plants that he had done. "These are really good," she said. She flipped another page and saw a toad. "Trevor!" she said. She laughed. "Where is he these days? Does he hide out in the greenhouses?" A few pages of flora and fauna later she came across some of his gran. "You do people really well too," she told him. "I had no idea. Someday you'll have to sketch me," she posed for him in her chair without a hint of seriousness in her voice.
Neville laughed a little too loudly, his hands clenching into fists to keep them out of his hair. There had been several awkward months in fourth year where he'd sketched Hannah more often than he was comfortable admitting. Luckily, he'd long since filled that sketchbook and it was tucked away somewhere back at home.
"Thanks," he said, shifting in his seat. Compliments unnerved him, too. "As for Trevor, he's around. I'm starting to think it's not my fault I lose track of him so often. He just likes his freedom."
Hannah gave him an amused smile at his outburst of laughter. She just assumed that he was nervous about sharing his work, so she reached out a hand to brush against his elbow.
"Some creatures are just like that. Sometimes I wonder if Aesop enjoys his freedom," she mused. "But mostly he's too slow to get very far before I find him and put him back in his aquarium. As long as I have dandelion grass he doesn't seem very determined to get away from me. Sometimes I think he'd like to spend time down here. I wonder if Professor Sprout would mind."
Hannah closed the sketchbook and handed it back to him. "Thanks for letting me see," she said. "I'll want to see it again after we finish our aquatic unit if you don't mind. Or maybe in the heart of it, before everything is due." She scooted back in her chair and clapped him gently on the back.
"Thanks, Neville! I'll see you later. And," she drew her coin out of her pocket to show him and gave a wink. "Hear from you later, I bet."