07 August 1997 • The Wizarding World's Beguiling Broadsheet of Choice • 5 κ
FORMER MINISTER SCRIMGEOUR LEAVES COUNTRY
By Rita Skeeter
Former Minister of Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour, left England for Peru this morning with no comment. According to an official statement from his office, “[Scrimgeour] left in quite a state” and “worried many people”.
“If Scrimgeour’s resignation on the 1st of August came as a shock to the general public, can you imagine how much of a shock it was to us?” says his brother, Brutus Scrimgeour, author of The Beaters Bible. “I think it was all weighing on him. He felt like he wasn’t doing enough.”
Rufus Scrimgeour, age 55, and both a former Auror and former Auror Department Head, displayed all the capabilities of an exemplary candidate for Minister over the years. “He was always tough, unceasing,” says John Dawlish, current Auror. “Nothing ever seemed to shake him or get in his way.”
Srimgeour had only been elected by the Wizengamot a little over a year after the reappearance of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in spring of 1996. He made many an unsuccessful attempt to quell the political unrest among Wizardkind.
“He had all these ideas but not a strict enough execution!” says Undersecretary to the Minister and Head of the new “Muggleborn” Registration Committee, Dolores Umbridge. “I feel ever-so sorry for him and his waning sanity. Perhaps he’ll take this time to finally get well. I'm certain the Ministry would always welcome him back as an Auror.”
The night of Scrimgeour’s official resignation,
the Wizengamot held an emergency meeting under Chief Warlock Tiberius Jugson, which resulted in an unanimous vote for Department of Magical Law Enforcement Head, Pius Thicknesse. “I’ve never seen someone voted in so seamlessly,” says British Youth Representative, Harold Plunkett.
After hearing Minister Thicknesse’s acceptance speech and public oath of office in the atrium, Ministry employee Grizelda Peabody has this to say: “He’s going to do a good job. He’s already doing marvelous things by helping us with this ‘Muggle-born’ infestation. I feel safe with Thicknesse at the helm. Truly!”