Olive Clayworth (kotinos) wrote in caged, @ 2013-12-12 00:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! 97-12, [ log ], olive clayworth, shoshanna fischer |
WHO: Olive Clayworth and Shoshanna Fischer
WHEN: Wednesday after lunch
WHERE: Gryffindor Girl’s Dormitories
SUMMARY: BFFs chat about their strategies
RATING: smut obv
STATUS: Complete Log
Shoshanna had been wanting to find some time to talk to Olive alone for a few days now - time where they wouldn’t be interrupted or potentially overheard by Lavender or Parvati. Much as she liked them, Shoshanna knew that the more people who knew a secret, the less likely the secret would stay, well, secret. So it was best to find time when both of their dormmates were sure to be gone - and Wednesday after lunch, when the seventh years had Divination, was just that time. Shoshanna hadn’t gone to lunch that day - having both Dark Arts and Muggle Studies on Wednesday mornings tended to make her feel more than a little sick. While most days she was able to get by with just some mild nausea, today was worse than usual, and she’d retreated to their dormitory straight after Muggle Studies ended, asking Olive to meet her there after lunch was over. She’d snuggled into her bed, sitting up against her pillows with Markie curled up next to her. She’d dozed off for a few minutes when she heard the door open. “Olive?” she asked, sitting up a little bit straighter. "Hello," Olive said, noticing her friend sitting up suddenly as she walked into the room. Shoshanna looked like how Olive felt; after both classes with the Carrows, all she wanted to do was sleep. Sometimes, she took the opportunity to do so, when both Parvati and Lavender were in Divination, leaving the dormitory quiet. However, something about Shoshanna's expression told Olive that she had something on her mind. She sat down on the edge of her bed, looking over at Shoshanna's. "Are you all right?" “Yes - no - I don’t know,” Shoshanna said, trying to take stock of her feelings and failing miserably. She was such a jumble of nerves lately that it was sometimes hard to figure out exactly what emotion was causing the nervousness. She picked up Markie and put the cat on her lap, which helped her calm down somewhat. “I’ve just been thinking a lot about the things we’ve been taught,” she said, not really sure how to say what she wanted to say. “Not that I, you know…” she said, before dropping her voice to add, “believe any of it.” "No, of course not," Olive agreed. "Hardly anyone really believes it, I think, and if you did, you wouldn't..." Her voice trailed off. It was difficult, going to class and learning a new, horrible thing about her own family every week. Her real family, and not Zacharias Smith's. Though it had never been in mich doubt, each week, she became more and more certain the the Carrows didn't know the first thing about muggles. Sometimes, they even made her regurgitate offensive so-called facts about her own kind of wizard. Olive knew, from her own experience, just how bollocks it all was. She complied, to avoid their suspicion, but it was never easy. "Well, what about it?" she asked, with a look of concern. Shoshanna looked down at Markie and scratched behind her cat’s ears. “I think I need to start acting like I believe it more,” she said, her face turning slightly pink. “But I wanted to talk with you first before I did that. Just so you’d know and don’t think...I mean, you probably wouldn’t either, but just in case, since obviously some people do believe it, but you’re my best mate and I don’t want to do anything that would hurt you.” The words came out quickly, and her face was turning redder as tears started to threaten to fall. “Sorry,” she added, wiping one eye as she tried to compose herself. “I didn’t mean to turn this into another Sad Shoshanna crying fest.” Olive frowned for a moment before crossing the distance between the two beds to sit on the edge of Shoshanna's. She too worried sometimes about how much she came across like she believed the things that the Carrows made them say. As far as she knew, it was more dangerous for her to speak out or flout the rules than anyone else in the school, but at what point did it matter what she really believed? It felt like a betrayal of herself, not something a Gryffindor should do. If things returned to normal, how would she be able to take back the things she'd said? After all this time, would anyone believe she was really Muggleborn? She reached out and patted Shoshanna on the arm. "Don't apologise!" she urged. "Of course I won't think you really mean any of it. I know you don't want to get in trouble, and neither do I, so I'll be right there with you." Shoshanna nodded and grabbed Olive’s hand, holding it tightly. “There’s one other thing. Do you think Professor Carrow really kept that boggart? Do you think he’d use it in detention?” She felt her stomach tighten at the thought, which should have been unbelievable, but these were the professors who had already given other students nightmare draughts. How was a boggart much different? "He wouldn't. And even if he did, we all learnt how to deal with boggarts back in third year, with Professor Lupin." Olive gave Shoshanna's hand a squeeze, even as her face grew pale. The thought of her best friend having to face her greatest fear filled her with dread, but the thought of facing her own fear was just as terrifying. What was her greatest fear? She supposed it might be You-Know-Who or Death Eaters, but, the Carrows aside, they were faraway threats. At the moment, the fear of getting caught was far more pressing, but how could a boggart turn into that? She imagined a fake Dolores Umbridge materializing and announcing her secret for all to hear. That couldn't happen, and she wouldn't let it. "It'll be fine." Shoshanna nodded, deciding it was best to let that subject drop. Although she hadn’t faced a boggart recently, she was almost positive that her greatest fear would now involve Olive being dragged off to Azkaban by the Carrows. And that, obviously, wasn’t something she could let anyone else see. “You’re right, and we won’t be getting detention anyways, so it’s not even worth worrying about,” Shoshanna said, her voice sounding much more confident than she felt. But it was easier to be brave for her friend than for herself. Except that this still didn’t feel very brave at all to Shoshanna. “I’m going to have to work on my acting skills,” Shoshanna said, making a face to lighten the mood. “That stupid play didn’t help very much.” Olive squeezed Shoshanna's hand again. Shoshanna was right, of course. Avoiding detention and trouble had been her strategy from the start, as difficult as it was becoming to sustain in the face of looming pressures. She had told Zacharias that she didn't feel like much of a Gryffindor for hiding for so long, but maybe it was worth it, just to deny the Death Eaters one more Muggleborn in Azkaban. Shoshanna had helped her for so long, what were a few more months at Hogwarts? "We'll stay out of trouble," she said, as much to reassure Shoshanna as herself. "That play was nothing. You've been brilliant all year." |