stella fawcett (ginger_roots) wrote in caged, @ 2013-12-01 20:09:00 |
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The cold would have bothered anyone who wasn’t used to it but Stella didn’t fall into that category. The truth was, for her, the inside of the school was starting to get stifling. Literally or metaphorically? Probably both. Walking around on the school grounds as winter was approaching was nothing new for her as it helped clear her head whenever she needed it. Or to get away from anything that was annoying her. That was probably half the school. The second she decided to take a break in studying, Stella threw on her coat and headed out, leaving her journal behind. The cold startled her slightly when she stepped out of the door but she eased into it when she started walking. It felt colder than she had anticipated probably because it was already the first of December and the past month felt like it had just gone by super fast. Funny… it was the worst month of her life and didn’t things that were generally not fun tend to not cause time to fly? But Stella wasn’t out there to think of why November was the worst. She was out there to try not to think of sad and horrible things, try to focus on good memories, like Hannah had suggested. It was a struggle and a half -- being upset just tended to come easier but she was tired of hurting. And in her struggle, as she walked with her head bowed down, she very nearly walked right into an obstacle in her pathway. Stella stopped short just inches away, breaking out of her concentrating. “Oh, God, I nearly walked right into you, I’m sorry.” "Stells," Dex exclaimed in surprise. Like her, he'd kept his head low to keep a little warmer. He didn't mind the cold, per se, but he didn't exactly thrive on it. He was just looking for a brisk walk to clear his mind, but it was a little brisker than he'd anticipated. "Hey don't worry about it, I about did the same thing." He could've just stepped aside and let her go on her way, but seeing her by herself sparked the worry he'd felt about her since he heard about her mother. If she wanted to be alone, he could head on along in a moment and leave her be, but he wanted at least to check in first. "Everything okay?" All she could think of was, thank Merlin it was someone that Stella still got along splendidly with without having to keep her mouth shut while picturing herself strangling the person in question. Better yet, the person in question happened to be the one guy she fancied like mad this year. “Hey,” she started giving him a slight smile. “Yeah. I’m just… sort of tired of staying inside. So I just wanted to go for a walk.” It wasn’t a total lie, at least. She probably have given him a convincing smile and kept walking but she found herself rooted to the spot. If she was outside for that reason, maybe he was too. Unless he was also as crazy as her to love winter weather. "Fresh cold winter air. You can't find that inside. What are you doing out?" Dexter shrugged. "Wandering aimlessly?" He could have done that inside, it was true, but one could only wander the hallways of Hogwarts so many times in six years. At least outside the sky changed once in a while. "Nothing, really." “Oh. Alright.” That was cool too. There was nothing wrong with wandering aimlessly. That was sort of what Stella was doing anyway. It’s not like her walk had any proper pathway, other than not to get too close to the lake. “So, then, do you want to wander aimlessly out here with me?” Dex may have started the walk looking for some time alone, but he was still glad she asked. Not just for him but for her as well; he didn't want to imagine what she was going through but figured walking with another person was better for her than walking alone, at the very least. "Sure." He switched directions, following her new path and going more or less where he'd already gone just minutes earlier. "Are you one of those people who prefers cold to hot?" he asked, trying to keep conversation light, at least at first. Stella felt a slight wave of relief when he agreed. Not that she really expected him to leave her stranded, but she was fully aware of how she hadn’t been the best company in general for the entirety of the month. She didn’t talk as much anymore in person, ate her food in silence, sat in a corner quietly trying to draw then ripping out the page and crumpling it up and glaring at her sketchbook as if it was at fault for her dissatisfaction. She wouldn’t be surprised if anyone found her presence to be a killjoy because they found themselves practically walking on eggshells around her afraid to even joke about killing themselves because of a horrible year. “Definitely,” Stella said, nodding, "Summer is nice but it gets too hot for me to bear. I'm a cool-weather person. Being born in October and all. What about you?" "February, but I still like being warm. Not hot, mind, but warm." Dex reflected for a moment. "But really, the best kind of warm is the coming in from the cold, sitting around the fire all cozy kind of warm, so I guess that requires winter too." He didn't say anything else for a little while, as content with company and quiet as he would have been with conversation. "Oh, I don't think I said," Dex added after a moment, smiling as he looked over toward her. "Congratulations on the solo in choir. I love the Christmas concert." “I will always take fireplace warm over sun-beating-down-on-us warm,” Stella needed, easing into the conversation, towards the good distraction-y talks and away from bad thoughts. It helped that he took that opportunity to bring up her solo because if there was one good thing that happened this month, it was exactly that. “Thanks,” she said, giving him a smile. “I love it too. Favorite holiday really, so I’m happy with getting this one if not anything in the spring.” But she doubted she was even going to try for that one. It wasn’t like her to hog the spotlight all the time. "I hope the school lets us do a few Muggle carols," Dex said, knowing deep down there was no chance of it. The Carrows would sooner cancel the entire concert than risk the students viewing anything Muggle in anything resembling a positive light. "The magical ones are nice and all, but they're just … I don't know, lacking." “Oh, tell me about it,” Stella said with a sigh, and then paused briefly before continuing. “The beauty of going over to Caroline’s neighborhood during the winter hols… the Muggles had a caroling group and when they’d come by, it was almost refreshing to hear them sing those.” And she would have loved singing those in their concert as well, but she highly doubted it would be possible this year as much as he did. Maybe in another time, maybe if Dumbledore was still alive. But definitely not now. “You know, if I didn’t already want to go work in the Ministry, I might have considered becoming the next Celestina.” Dexter looked over at her, surprised. He'd known about her more artsy side, of course; probably everyone in their year did, even before she began drawing in their journals. But even after years together in choir, he'd never realized she aspired there, too. "A pop star's life for you, eh?" Stella glanced up at him, catching his surprised look and couldn’t help laughing slightly. “The key word being ‘considered’. By which I mean jumping on my bed, pretending that’s a stage and my hairbrush is a microphone and singing along.” By coincidence, they came along a large rock on the side and Stella took the chance to pause in her walk to hop onto it. And it was large enough that she was at eye-level with Dexter instead of craning her neck back to look at him. “It’s kind of empowering to be at this position, you know? You get to influence so many young people and it opens up an opportunity for you to become a role model and try to change the world like you want. If you want to see that change, who wouldn’t try to get a pop star’s life?” "Sounds like a lot of pressure to me." Dex considered for a moment. "I'd hate to be a celebrity of any sort, honestly. I'd hate to go somewhere and everybody thinks they know me, they know all about me? Forget it. I mean sure, the influence and change the world would be interesting--a good way to go with fame, if you had it, but I think it'd just be overwhelming. Once you started, everybody would expect it of you all the time, don't you think?" “People tend to already think they know others,” Stella said with a shrug, hopping off the rock. “But yeah, I can see how that would be ten times worse when you have a celebrity status.” That probably was the reason she wouldn’t want to go into that field. You were put on a pedestal, practically and anything you did wrong that could have been an honest mistake (because every human being makes mistakes) would be magnified about ten times and a celebrity would be criticized about ten times worse. “Better plan to just play it safe and go into the Ministry. Which would… probably be like following my parents’ footsteps.” Dex kept his opinion on the Ministry to himself for the moment; he wasn't sure exactly how she felt about the politics there but even if they aligned with his own, her parents (and most notably, her mother) had still worked there, so even at their worst, Dex assumed Stella still had some positive views. "Nothing wrong with that," was a much safer statement, especially considering he planned to do the same thing and follow his mother. "Besides, just because you get one job once, doesn't mean you're stuck doing it forever if you change your mind." “True. A Starving Artist position wouldn’t pay me so well to begin with.” Not that the Fawcetts ever had issues with money to begin with. Her father was a DMLE barrister. He made plenty. Her mother had earned some as well, but they weren’t the sort to splurge too much on something. Sure she spent money on her friends but most of the time, even her gifts to people were some of her artwork. Stella let out a sigh. “I just hope our next year and a half just fly by and we’ll be out of here soon.” Dex laughed at the starving artist comment. "Well no, I mean, it's right there in the title." His smile faded with her next comment, however; he would've loved to be done with Hogwarts tomorrow, if only he knew what the hell he was going to do immediately after that. Still, it wasn't something he needed to dwell on, not right now. "Time flies when you're having fun." “Yeah,” Stella started, then paused, almost asking if either of them were even having fun. They weren’t. She didn’t have to ask him to know that. Not with the Carrows in charge, not with people getting hurt or dying or being locked up in Azkaban. But that was all dark talk and she didn’t want to go back to it, so she focused on what was right in front of her -- one of her closest friends walking with her through dew-filled grass in chilly but still refreshing weather. “If I get to go on walks like this with you, then time will definitely fly.” She threw him a smile, looking at him briefly, as she continued her trek. Dex smiled, then took a deep breath and glanced over at Stella. He didn't know if this was the right time--in fact, he wasn't sure he should be doing this at all. He'd been leaning away from asking, in fact; he wasn't sure it was appropriate or tasteful or whatever. But she'd had such a rough go of things with her mum and everything, and he really thought she could use a distraction and some fun. He stopped walking, and gently tapped her arm so she'd do the same and look over at him. "Okay so, I completely understand if you say no, like if it's too much or if you're not up for it or you've already got plans or whatever--" Stop babbling and just say it. "--but I thought maybe you'd like to go to Hogsmeade. With me. Next time we can go." Stella had paused just as he indicated for her to talk, looking up at him curiously, although she was expecting something. Words of comfort, maybe, which would be appreciated but all the same, she still didn’t fancy being treated like a delicate snowflake Asking her to Hogsmeade… that she hadn’t expected his actual question. But it was a pleasant surprise and Stella smiled a little bit brighter. “Yeah. I would really like to, actually.” Dex nodded, keeping it up as he spoke. "Alright. Good. Well. Good." He turned, ready to walk further if she was but not starting yet. "I hope it's a little warmer than this when we go." Stella laughed, turning after he did, definitely ready to start walking again. “Don’t worry. If it isn’t, that’ll just mean more butterbeer to keep us warm.” |