"You don't want me along because it might tarnish my reputation?"
The question was as unkind as her tone and edging for a fight. Vera was not that important. No matter what work she had done. She was not important enough to...to pretend her future was worth more than anyone else's. If her life could have bought all the ones they'd lost, she'd have given it by now. To abandon a loved one for the sake of her name seemed like the emptiest path.
The code would have demanded Vera burn it, if that was the choice she had to make.
Vera wanted Eragos to stop speaking to her as if she were worth as much as the white uniform she had hopelessly abused for most of her adult life. Anger itched beneath her skin. She was walking around his side before she knew where her feet were headed.
"Everyone violated orders after leaving Oisea, Eragos. You, me, Eithne, Vargis, even Hasna. My party was meant to ride directly to Hatharida, alone. Can you imagine...?"
Because Vera could and certainly had. If she had not had that streak of rebellion in her, they might have beaten Eragos' group to that forest and...
"So thank the gods we violated orders! That we were all together, no matter what has happened. The Captain isn't going to abandon any Rider after this, least of all you."
She was so mad at him that her hand was in a fist so tight it nearly trembled. An hour ago, Vera did not think that she had the ability to feel anything but loss. How did Eragos have the talent to make her so angry? Why was he as unmovable as a rock? Why was he stretching his stitches?
Because he thought he could leave her, and them, here after everything. After how far the whole group of them came. All of those times she'd left him behind or tried to protect him alone, and Eragos had made her feel like a fool for it. But then he...he did this.
Eragos stood taller now that he'd stretched and she had to tilt her chin to glare at him. Her dark eyes were coals in the lamplight, the redness in them making them that much blacker.
"And stop treating me like an ideal. How many letters are between us? How many battles, how many solstices? How many people have you hit on my behalf? Yet you've never even called me by my name, unadorned. I'm flesh and blood. I suffer, I love, I make terrible, terrible mistakes. I am going to risk my future and life, regardless, but if I can do it at your side, then damn you, let me!"