the only way (ithacles)
Vedette didn't even know where to begin. She was standing in the mouth of his tent, what was left of her uniform was sitting on the table there inside of it. Torn to absolute shreds, save the jacket she hadn't been wearing. Ithacles must have retrieved it from her tent after everything happened as as for what was left of the rest.. well. That's what happened to clothes when you were forced to change while wearing them. The rule was to never wear anything you loved when there was a chance you might have to change form. It was a good rule, she hated losing nice things during a transformation.. her true form. She already missed it. It felt like years since she'd done such a thing, but it hadn't been. Just weeks. Before she'd come to Astarii.. before this whole mess..
He was looking at her and she didn't know what she was going to tell him.
Where did one begin? She was hundreds of years older than him, more than that, a thousand years give or take. She'd lived longer than his father had. She was born long before Faustben was even a real idea in another King's head. She remembered when the castle was built, and how funny it looked in that valley when all there used to be there were trees and one vast lake. She'd even felt that those elves and humans had ruined a perfectly nice landscape at the time. But she knew why. Her father had told her why. Humans simply did not live as they did and it was their job to try and understand. But she didn't. She didn't understand any of this.
The fear was only a small pulse in her being now. If Ithacles chose to attack her, now, would she let him? Would she fight him? Could she kill him? Answers to questions like that were better suited to elders and not to someone like her. She could not answer them. Instead she stepped forward bravely and stood beside the table that now served to show the heap of used to be uniform.. Her uniform. Her human uniform. Vedette looked at Ithacles and she couldn't keep the sadness out of her eyes any more.
She'd lied to him. She'd kept her entire life a secret. She hadn't told anyone. No one. Not any of her friends that were not dragons. Now that Ithacles knew... It was too late to apologize for something like that. She knew how humans.. how she felt when someone hid something from her. How she felt when all the answers were not on the table and all the information was not easy to read. Frustrated, hurt.. She took a deep breath but did not say anything.
There was a big problem now. Not only her secret exposed, but the fact that Koe was ready to leave them. Koe was going to leave them. He was going to go with Ilyien and Sabev. She knew it just by looking at him. She knew she would have to say goodbye again if she chose not to go with him. But that.. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to leave Koe. It wasn't as simple as loving him, or as simple as being alone without him. It was too many things. Things no one else would understand but him. She wasn't ready to let him go again so soon. Was that selfish? Should she ask him to stay? Even she knew that what Ilyien and Sabev.. whatever they were planning, or what they were doing.. Was dangerous. More dangerous than protecting a Prince from raiders, or Orc. Much more dangerous.
Ithunvel was dead. Her reason for staying in Faustben was nothing but a corpse now. Such a cold thought. She hesitated.
There was Ithacles. Sweet... stupid Ithacles. She didn't mean that so cruelly. She loved Ithacles, much more than he would ever know. It would hurt forever if he sent her away. But it would not measure up to how she felt about Koe. Oh she'd.. lied to Koe hadn't she? Wasn't so much of a lie. She loved Ithacles. But he could never be hers. It wouldn't.. It could only work for a year, maybe two. He had a Kingdom to take care of. He had a line to create for himself. There was a beautiful lady waiting for him somewhere. One that didn't talk too much or mind his drinking. Both would be requirements for marriage, or at least so Vedette thought.
She should not have allowed this to go on for as long as it had.
She didn't look anywhere but him, it was only fair. She didn't know how he might react, or if he really was as angry as he'd looked inside the tent. But she would hear him out. She owed him that. "I don't even know where to begin.. And if I'm going to be honest, which I am. I never thought about telling you, not once." She did not allow herself to stammer. Or even to tremble. She might have... Once. But now.