The Melody of Life (3/7) Title: The Melody of Life (3/7) Author:blue_siofra Rating: PG-13 Characters: Jc Chasez/Ofc, Lance Bass, rest of *N Sync Summary: Jc meets a woman and his life changes dramatically.
“No, they only have him on oxygen to see if he’ll come around soon.” Johnny said.
“Oh my god.” was all I could mutter. Josh squeezed my hand. At least he understood. I looked up at him and smiled weakly. I looked back at Justin, lying still on the bed. My mind traveled back in time, and suddenly, it wasn’t Justin lying there on the bed, it was Mike.
“Oh my god.” I mutter again.
Just then, a doctor walked into Justin’s room. He examined Justin and as he was leaving, we stopped him.
“He’ll be alright, won’t he?” Josh asked him.
“As it seems now, he will. But he should not drink alcohol anymore. I strongly recommend that he goes into Alcoholics Anonymous. Right now, we just need him to wake up. He‘s in a coma.” the doctor said.
Josh squeezed my hand and looked at his feet. The other guys looked at each other. Josh looked back up.
“Thank you.” he said.
The doctor left, and the rest of us just stood around looking glum. Lance broke the silence.
“Melody, isn’t that Jc’s shirt and pants?” he asked me. I glanced at Josh.
“Maybe they are, and maybe not.” I said, not fully admitting that they were. Once again, the guys all glanced at each other. I turned back to look at Justin. Once again, my mind remembered the horrible day when Mike died. I let a tear run down my cheek. I felt Josh embrace me and I started to cry into his shoulder. Josh started to rock us back and forth.
“Why? Why, Josh, Why?” I say in between sobs. Josh brushed my hair out of my face and looked into my eyes.
“I don’t know, Mel. But I do know that he will be alright. I know he will.” He whispers back. I burst into more sobs and can’t stop. I end up falling asleep clinging to him, exhausted from crying.
I woke up in Josh’s bed, with Josh sitting next to me, watching me sleep.
“What happened?” I asked groggily, propping myself up with my elbows.
“You cried yourself to sleep in my shoulder, so I brought you home. I had Lance help me. He stayed here for a bit while I went and fed Amanda and grabbed some of your things for you at your house. You don’t mind do you?”
“No, no. Thanks for feeding Amanda. I love you. You think of everything.”
Josh smiles. He hands me my keys.
“I don’t want to put them in the wrong place, and you think you lost them.” he explains. I look at them. They seem different. I find an extra key on it. I look at Josh.
“It’s a key to my house. I thought you would like one. I love you.”
Two days later, I was sitting at home with Amanda when I got a phone call.
“He woke up.” the voice said. I got up and left for the hospital. Everyone except Josh was there.
“Where’s Josh?” I asked, puzzled.
“I thought he was with you. I mean the two of you are almost inseparable.” Johnny answers.
“I tried calling him, but he didn’t answer either phone.” Lance adds.
“He told me last night he had some errands to do today. I think he went shopping. My birthday is in a few days.”
Joey walked out of Justin’s room. “Who’s next?”
“I’ll go.” I said. I walked into Justin’s room. Justin was lying there, staring at the ceiling.
“Hi Justin.” I said quietly. He turned his head and looked at me.
“Hi Melody. How are you?”
“Considerably better now that you woke up.” I held his hand. Justin looked at me.
“Justin, you can’t do this anymore. Please. My first boyfriend was killed by a drunk driver.” I whispered. Justin thought for a moment.
“The doctors say that I could have really bad liver damage if I drink anymore. They said I lucked out this time. If my ending up like this hurt you so bad, I can’t even imagine what it did to Mom and Randy.” He looked into my face.
“Since you mean so much to Jc, and because it means so much to you, I won’t touch another bottle or can of alcohol for the rest of my life.”
I looked down at him.
“Thank you, Justin. You have no idea how much that means to me.” We chatted about some things until my five minutes were up. I left the room. Josh was there now.
“Hey babe. What’s up?” I kissed him on the cheek.
“I got a message that Justin had woken up. Has he?”
“Yeah, he’s awake. I just finished talking to him.” I wrapped my arms him.
“So what’d yaw get me?” I asked playfully.
“I’m not telling you. You’ll have to see later.” Josh responded.
* * *
We spent the morning taking turns to go see Justin. Eventually we all left so he could get some rest. I went home to think. Josh’s birthday was in 15 days, mine was in four. All Josh had told me was he had made some plans for us for my birthday, if I didn’t mind. I told him I wanted to spend some time at my mother’s house, but he could plan an evening for us. I knew the guys were throwing a surprise party for Josh, and I was the one to bring him to the arranged place. I still had to get Josh a present. I picked up my purse. I went to the mall and browsed around. I found this candle that I was pretty sure that he would love. I bought it and then got something to eat, then I went and watched a movie. When I got home, I wrapped the candle and then took a nap.
The day came. It was my 22nd birthday. I had woken up only to find all five guys standing over me. Chris was holding a muffin with a candle in it, Joey was holding a plate of breakfast food, Lance was holding four packages, Josh was sitting next to me on the bed, and Justin was sitting at the foot of the bed, still a little weak from his ordeal.
“What’s this?” I asked. Josh did a little motion with his hand, pretending to scratch his nose, and all five of them started singing “Happy Birthday” and when they got to the name part, they said “from *N Sync” instead.
“Aww, thank you guys.” I said as I sat up. Joey put the plate down on my lap.
“Joe, I know there was more bacon on the plate when I gave it to you.” Josh said. Joey looked sheepish.
“Sorry.” he said. We all laughed. I tried the bacon.
“I can see why he ate it. It’s delicious.” I said. Chris pulled out a lighter and lit the candle and then handed the muffin to me. I closed my eyes and thought for a second.
“ I wish that I could stay like this forever, that none of this will change.” I thought and blew out the candle. I opened my eyes and pulled the candle out of the muffin. I set the muffin aside and ate my eggs and bacon, trying to offer some to the guys. Josh only took some toast when I coaxed him into it. When I finished the eggs and bacon, I pulled off a small amount of the muffin and ate it. Then I put it aside for later. Lance handed me the presents. The first one I opened was from Chris. He gave me a new cell phone cover. Joey got me a laptop and Lance got me a thing for the laptop so I could use the internet on it. Justin gave me a stuffed cat.
“Thanks guys! I love them.” I turn to Josh.
“I don’t want to sound spoiled or anything, but where’s yours?” I asked him. He smiled.
“Well, some of it you will get later tonight, but you can have this now.” He handed me an envelope. I opened it and pulled out a sheet of paper. In his handwriting, he had written a poem.
Love. What is it? People say it’s indescribable. While I agree it’s true, What IS love? Is it a feeling? Is it a thought? Is it really attraction in disguise? Love is warm. Love is fuzzy. Love is your heart speeding up at her sight. No matter how I try, I can’t find the words to describe how it feels I know what love is. It’s what I feel for you.
“Aww! Josh, it’s really good! I’m going to get it framed. I love you.” I faced him and kissed him. The kiss would have lasted much longer if someone hadn’t cleared his throat, reminding the two of us that we weren’t alone. I pulled away.
“Remember where we were,” I whispered. Josh smiled.
“Well guys, would you mind it if I could get dressed?” I asked. They left the room.
Now dressed, I headed downstairs. The guys were cleaning up my kitchen.
“I want it spotless. Not one speck of dust anywhere.” I said as I entered the room. The phone rang. I picked it up.
“Melody?” Johnny asked.
“Yes?” I answered.
“You didn’t call me here just to say that, did you?”
“Not entirely. I just wanted to tell you that for the first week, Melody of Life was the number one selling album of the week. Congratulations.” Johnny managed to say before I screamed.
“NO WAY!! YOU’RE KIDDING ME!! MELODY OF LIFE COULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT WELL!!” I yelled into the phone.
“Well, it did. Just thought you should know. Once again, happy birthday.” Johnny hung up.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” I yelled as I hung up the phone. Josh put his finger in his ear and wiggled it.
“I think I might be able to hear in about ten years or so.” He said.
“Sorry, hon. I just got some really good news. That was Johnny telling me how well Melody of Life did.” I said. Lance looked up from the sink.
“How well did it do?” he asked.
“It was the number one selling album of the week.” I say, grinning from ear to ear. Lance smiles. Chris congratulates me and then tries to hit Joey’s butt with a wet dishtowel. Joey retaliates by throwing a wet sponge at him and it ends up hitting Justin in the middle of his forehead. I duck out of the room before I get hit by something. Josh follows me out.
“I knew you’d do it.” he said as he put his arms around my waist. He leaned down and kissed me.
* * *
After the guys had left, I got ready to leave. I went to my mom’s house where she gave me a journal so I could write my feelings and thoughts in it. Jack gave me a scrapbook that he and Cindy had already started for me. I leafed through the book. One page was titled Melody of Life. It was blank except for a cover booklet of my album. I thanked them and gave them hugs. I pull Jack aside for a moment.
“Sorry you couldn’t do it this time, maybe next time.” I tell him. He looks at me.
“We can always keep trying, but we both went in for testing, to see if there is something wrong with either of us.” He whispered back. I give him a sad look.
“It’ll all work out someday.” I tell him as we head back out to Mom and Cindy. We sat around and talked for a while before I headed home to get ready for my night out with Josh.
Josh had told me to dress up nicely, but a casual nice. I took a shower and put some hot rollers into my hair to give it some waves. I found a nice skirt and a matching top. I put them on carefully and did my makeup. I took the rollers out and finger combed them and let them be. Josh came and picked me up.
“Mmm babe, how am I going to keep my hands off of you tonight?” he murmured when I opened the door.
“You don’t have to, you know.” I said, smiling mischievously.
Josh drove to one of the classiest restaurants in town, and when we went in, they asked if we had a reservation. Josh told them who we were, and they showed us to a table in a far corner. We ordered dinner, and made some small talk while we waited. At one point, Josh cleared his throat.
“What would you think about going public with our relationship? I’ve talked to Johnny. He said that he’s alright with it.” Josh was so nervous, he couldn’t look me in the eyes.
“Of course I wouldn’t mind going public, Josh! I love you!” Josh looked into my eyes.
“Really? You’ll have to put up with rumors and everything.”
“I already do, Josh. Besides, as long as we know the truth, what the rumors say doesn’t matter.” I said.
Josh picked up my hand and kidded the top of it. Our food arrived. We ate in almost silence, enjoying the food and each other. When we finished our meal, Josh took me to see a musical. I spent the night at his house. It was the best birthday I’ve ever had.
Once again, I woke up in Josh’s arms. As soon as I open my eyes, I smile. Today was the day Josh and I were going public. We decided on a press conference. I know that it seems a bit weird, but we wanted everyone to know about us. I stretched my arms above my head. Josh stirred.
“Come on babe, today’s the day. Get up!” Josh grunted, but opened his eyes.
“You’re impossible, Josh, just impossible.” I sat up and got out of bed. I found my hairbrush and brushed my hair. I found some clothes and changed. Josh put on an Abercrombie shirt and a pair of jeans. He put his hair in rollers. We headed downstairs and got some cereal. I look over at Josh.
“If this goes bad, at least we’ll still have each other. I love you.”
“I love you too, Melody.”
We finished our breakfast and headed into the same bathroom. Josh started to take his hair out while I did my makeup.
“Can you believe you’re going to be 26 in a week?” I asked him, putting on mascara.
“Not really. Mel, I have something to tell you,” he looked at me in the mirror.
“The past three months have been the best of my life because of you. I love you.” He started to spray his hair with hairspray.
“Josh, you know I love you.” I finished my makeup and turned to Josh. I gave him a kiss on the cheek.
* * *
Josh, Johnny, Lance and I were standing in the doorway, out of view of the reporters. Johnny turned to us.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Past ready.” I said. Johnny turned and the four of us walked out onto the stage for the conference. There were a few murmurs as they saw the four of us. Johnny stood at the microphone.
“Thank you all for coming. I was asked to do this conference for these two people right here.” He gestured to Josh and me. “I’ll let them tell you the news that brought us here today.” Johnny stepped back, letting Josh come up. He motioned me to him. I stood next to him as he got ready to tell the world.
“We just want the entire world to know this.” he said. He pulled me up to him and kissed me. Even with my eyes closed, I could see all the flashes from the cameras. We kissed long and hard, and when we finally finished, Josh took my hand and led me off the platform, waving at the press. Lance and Johnny followed. What a way to let the world know about us.
My alarm goes off. It’s six am, August 8, 2002. It’s Josh’s 26th birthday. I had a little bag packed. I had it out in my car. Josh didn’t know what I had planned to tell him today. He was essential to my life. He meant so much to me, I loved him like I’ve never loved anyone. He just understood me.
I climbed out of my bed and put on my shoes. I got into my car and went to Josh’s house. I let myself in and snuck up to his room. I stood in the doorway for a moment. He was so peaceful looking. I climbed slowly and carefully into his bed. I put my arms around him and listened to him breathing. After a little while, I put my mouth near his ear.
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, sexy Josh, happy birthday to you.” I sing softly into his ear. Josh stirs and opens his eyes. He looks over at me. He looks at the clock.
“Melody! It’s not even seven in the morning yet!!”
“Well, I woke up to a whole room of men on my birthday, at least I didn’t bring a bunch of other women with me. You only got me. Besides, I couldn’t wait. I wanted to tell you what I’ve been thinking about.” I said. Josh sits up.
“I want to move in with you. I love you. I’m ready for the next step of a relationship with you. I want to be close to you. I can’t even imagine my life without you in it anymore.”
“What? Mel, we don’t have to live together. We could be just as happy with the way we are now.”
I feel my face fall.
“But, Josh, I’m ready for the next step. I want to be near you. You complete me. I love you with all my heart.” Josh yawns.
“I hate to disappoint you, but could we talk about this later?” he asks.
“Fine. Later.” I say. Josh lies back down. I lie next to him, facing the other way. Josh sets his alarm for nine. We both started to doze off. In my last moment of consciousness, I heard him murmur something. Or was I already asleep, and I dreamed it?
I took Josh to the prearranged meeting place for his party. Josh acted surprised, but I think the guys do this to him every year. Josh opened the presents. He smiled when he opened the candle.
“I know just what I can do with this.” he said and placed a kiss on my cheek.
“He’s still upset at me from this morning.” I think.
When the party was over, Josh and I headed back to his house. He went up to the front door, and then turned around and looked at me.
“Coming?” He asked. I took a deep breath.
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe moving in isn’t a good idea for us right now. I-I need some time to think about this. About us.” I got back into my car.
“Mel!” Josh said, starting down the steps toward my car. I started my car and pulled out of my driveway, leaving Josh there, staring after me. I went home and cried. Upset, I took off the promise ring Josh gave me the day of my video shoot. The video. I remembered the smile on Josh’s face the first time he saw it.
“What is wrong with me? What have I done?” Maybe I was moving too fast, but something with in me told me that moving in was the next thing to do, and that it was time to bring it up. I loved Josh. It felt natural for me to want to be with him. My phone rang, but I ignored it. I knew it was Josh. I couldn’t handle a conversation with him right now. A short time after the phone stopped ringing, the doorbell rang. I could hear Josh calling my name through the door. I went to my bedroom window and leaned out of it.
“I want my stuff back. All of it.” I called down to Josh. He moved back so he could see me.
“Melody, I love you. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything in the world.” He called up to me. I pulled my head back into the window and closed it. Josh and I could never be what we were before. I knew that deep within me. Josh left. A little while later, the doorbell rang, and he called through the door that he was leaving my stuff there, ‘since it’s what you want’. I waited until he left to get it. The phone rang again, only this time it wasn’t Josh. It was Johnny. I let the machine get it. Josh didn’t call again that night. I didn’t realize it until later though.
I ignored everyone except Mom, Jack and Cindy. August turned into September. I missed some appearances that have been scheduled for weeks. Johnny tried to get what happened out of me by showing up at my door. I ignored him, pretending I wasn’t there. I wasn’t feeling well on top of everything else I was feeling about Josh and myself. Tired of feeling like this, I answered the door when Lance showed up.
“Melody, are you okay?” he asked as I let him in.
“No, I’m not. Josh didn’t feel the way I did, and now I feel like I’m dying. I’ve even been throwing up every morning.” I confessed.
Lance looked me over.
“I’ll be right back.” he said and he left. About ten minutes later, he was back. He handed me a brown paper bag.
“This is just a hunch, but I think it might be worth a try.” he said. I took the bag. I looked inside. I looked at Lance.
“Excuse me. Make yourself at home. You know where the fridge is if you get thirsty.” I headed up stairs to use the product in the bag. I waited for it to do what it needed to do. I was pregnant.
I went downstairs. Lance was still in the foyer.
“Come in, sit down. Do you want anything to drink?” I asked him. He followed me into the living room, but declined to sit or anything to drink.
“I just want to know why you just stopped talking to Jc. He came to me the night you just stopped talking to him. He told me everything. It hurt him so much that you didn’t want to try to talk it out. Melody, he loves you. All of us can see it. He’d never even have a passing thought to hurt you. What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Lance, I think you know what’s wrong with me as well as I do now. I need to talk to Josh about this. Would you mind if I did it in private?” I said.
“Of course I don’t mind if you did it in private. It should be done in private. I’ll let myself out.” he left the room and I heard the front door open and close. I picked up the phone. I stared at it for a moment. Then I dialed.
“Josh? It’s Melody. Could you come over to my house? I think we need to talk.” I listened as he said he’d be right over. I hung up after saying good-bye. I got up and walked to the foyer and sat on the bottom steps of the stairs. Josh arrived. I let him in.
“Hi.” I said.
“Hi.” he said back.
I took him into the living room where I offered him a drink. He declined and sat down on the couch. I sat down in an armchair on the other side of the couch.
“Josh, I’m sorry for everything. I’ve been moody and depressed since your birthday. I couldn’t explain it then, but I can now. Josh, I’m pregnant.”
Josh was quiet for a minute.
“Are you sure?” he asked quietly.
“Not 100 percent. I’ve only taken a home test, though those are pretty correct.”
Josh put his head in his hands.
“Josh, I didn’t plan on this either. But, as hard as it may seem, I still love you. I know that we’ll be able to get through this. I’m sorry I hurt you on your birthday, of all days. Do you forgive me?” My eyes teared up as I asked Josh to forgive me.
Josh had lifted his head during my little speech.
“Melody, I love you. I always will love you. It was just a shock that you were ready to move in. I didn’t know you were feeling weird. I forgive you.” Josh reached his hand out and took mine in his. I smiled weakly.
“I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment to see if everything is going alright.” I sniffed.
“That sounds like a good plan.”
* * *
Josh and I are waiting for my name to be called for the appointment. When it was called, Josh got up to come with me. I told him I was a big girl and to stay put unless someone recognized him. I went into a room where the nurse handed me a cup to pee in. I went to the bathroom and peed. I handed it to the nurse, whom left with it. I waited a little while before my doctor came in. He examined me over, and we were talking about what to expect in the coming weeks when the nurse came back in with the results. She handed them to the doctor, who looked at them, and then told me I was approximately six weeks along. I thanked the doctor, went out into the waiting room and made an appointment for the following month. Josh didn’t notice I was there until I was standing in front of him.
“Come on Josh. Let’s go.”
I climbed into Josh’s car. Josh got into it too, and put the key into the ignition.
“I’m at six weeks, Josh.” I said.
He stopped turning the key and looked at me.
“So we are pregnant? For sure?”
“Of course we are! Would I tell you I’m six weeks along if I wasn’t pregnant?” I asked him. Sometimes men can be so weird.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I love you.”
“I’m sorry Josh. I don’t need to be moody. It’s just, what will we do? Tell the public? What about our families? The guys? When should we tell them? I don’t know what to do now.” I admit.
“Maybe we should talk to Johnny. He might know what we could do. I just want you to know that I’m with you for every step of this.” Josh says. I nod my approval and he starts the car. He drives us to Johnny’s office. We went in. Johnny smiles when he sees me.
“Look who came back from the dead.” he said as Josh and I sat down.
“We’ll get straight to the point.” Josh says after Johnny closes the door.
“What is it?” Johnny asks as he sits down.
“I’m pregnant.” I say. Johnny looks shocked.
“We need some guidance. We’re not sure what to do or who to tell right now. We thought you might be able to help us with that.”
“Well, I don’t know who you should tell, but I do know that most people don’t tell the public they are expecting until they can no longer hide it. It’s what I recommend.”
“That sounds reasonable. That’s what we’ll do.” I say. Josh looks at me.
“Are you sure?” he asks me.
“There really is no reason for everyone to know about this until they have to. Besides, it might hurt the guys when the public knows about this. I don’t want to hurt the other guys with this. They didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I don’t care what the public thinks. I only want to do what you want.”
“Well this is what I want. The five of you guys are in this together. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew that I hurt the guys because I wanted everyone to know about the baby.” I say. I stood up.
“Thanks Johnny for the advice. It really helped.” I left. Josh followed me.
“We should tell the guys and our family. I love you.” he said. I turned to him.
“I know that this is all unexpected, but I really am glad we’re working this out. I’m glad that I’m going through this with you. I love you.” I say as he wraps me in his arms.
“I love you too. I’m glad that you’re the mother of my child. I wouldn’t want anyone else.” he leaned down and kissed me. It felt wonderful to be back with him.
Before Josh and I had a chance to finish our kiss, Justin saw us.
“Melody! You’re here! How are you?” he called out at us. Josh and I broke apart instantly. I turned and faced Justin.
“Could you go get all the other guys? I might as well tell you all at the same time.” I say.
Justin turns back around and goes off in the other direction, yelling for the other guys. Josh and I head outside into the compound’s backyard. The speakers that played the top 40 cut out suddenly. Then we heard Justin’s voice.
“JOEY FATONE AND LANCE BASS I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE. GET BACK UP HERE. MELODY’S HERE AND SHE WANTS TO TALK TO US ALL AT THE SAME TIME.” Blares out of the speakers at top volume. Josh starts to laugh. I smile and hit him playfully.
“It’s not that funny.” I say as he keeps laughing.
“I’m not laughing at that. I’m just imagining what he would be saying on that if he knew what we had to tell them.” he said. I thought for a second and started laughing too. We stood there and watched Joey and Lance come walking up from the pond, wearing wet suits.
“I’ve been thinking. Do you still want to move in? Now that we know we’re expecting, it seems more natural. And besides, I don‘t want to miss any more than I already have.” Josh said, sobering up.
“I’d be happy to move into your house. I love you.” I said as I kissed him on the nose. It wasn’t long before all of the guys were together.
“Josh and I just wanted to tell you guys something. It won’t take long.” I said. I looked at Josh for support. He squeezed my hand. I turned back to the guys.
“In late April, Josh and I will be welcoming our child into the world. We’re having a baby.” I said. Justin, Joey and Chris were shocked. Lance walked up to us and congratulated us. Then the other guys followed suit. When all the excitement was over, we all split up into our separate ways.
Josh and I drove to my house. I had gone into the utility room where I kept Amanda’s litter box and stuff. I fed her in the kitchen, but I kept her food out here. I had noticed that she hadn’t eaten her food yet, and I looked at the clock. She usually had eaten her food by now. I was looking for Amanda. The utility room was the last place to look. She wasn’t here either.
“Josh, Amanda’s missing.” I called out to him.
“What?” he called back, coming into the room with me.
“Amanda’s not here. I looked all over the house. She’s not here. I can’t find her. I hope she didn’t get out somehow. She’s an indoor cat.” I started to panic, imagining Amanda outside, not knowing what she had gotten herself into. Josh came over to me and started to comfort me.
“She’ll be fine. She’s a smart cat. If she had somehow gotten out, she’ll find her way back home.” Josh said as he held me.
* * *
Two weeks later, I was moving the last of my stuff to Josh’s house. Just before I drove off with the last load of stuff, I spotted Amanda sitting on the porch railing, looking at me. I got out of my car and went up to her, picked her up and put her into the car. I drove off to Josh’s house, feeling much better.