Darlene D. Sauer A.K.A. Darlene Southland (fcked_up_gal) wrote in btvsal, @ 2010-09-22 21:55:00 |
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Current mood: | scared |
Holy Fucking Shit
Who: Darlene and Dave
Where: Darlene and Paige's Apartment
When: Sept. 9th, Evening
Darlene was getting ready for what was supposed to be a night of going out with Dave and having some fun with him, Jim, and Paige. Paige was SUPPOSED to be already out at Avarice, but she might be boning her girlfriend, so she would probably be late. Still, when big fucking balls of fire starting falling from the sky, well, Darlene reacted about as well as one would have expected. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE BLAZING FUCK IS THAT?" That scream could be heard all over the building.
A buzzing went off then, as... oh dear. It was Dave, standing outside the apartment building at the intercom. "Daaaar... ow. Ow ow ow. Um... please let me in?" He sounded SO calm and just... annoyed. "It's kinda raining fire out here. And I kinda just got hit in the face by a flaming ball of rock or something."
"FUCK!" My, she was a poetic little thing, wasn't she? She ran over and buzzed him up, and, when he knocked on the door, she yanked it open and drug him inside. Let's just HOPE that he ain't a vampire, huh?
"Wow... hey Dar. Um... you know, the guys on the local news channel are fulla SHIT, man..." Oh god... what an idiot... "Sunny and cool my ASS, dude... they didn't say SHIT about rocky fireballs..."
"How the ever living fuck are you calm right now?" she asked, slamming the door behind him. "Seriously? Are you high or something? You holding?" Sobriety or not, times like fire falling from the sky were good times to toke up.
"Huh? Oh... I dunno why I'm calm. I guess I'm just annoyed. Getting hit in the forehead with a rocky fireball will do that." Snerk. Ya think? "And naw, dude... I don't light up, you know that. All *I* ever did was drink, and... I'm kinda trying not to now. For you."
She wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss him or throttle him. Really, she might do both. Instead of doing either of those, though, she pushed his hair off his face so that she could look at his forehead and see if he was too banged up or not.
Comically enough... a flaming ball of rock had falled from the very heavens and hit him IN THE FOREHEAD... and he just kinda had a little red mark. Like if you'd had shot a rubber band at his face.
"Oh wait, you're invulnerable," she said, pushing him away. "I forgot." OK, so she couldn't remember shit in the fear of god that was in her right now. "Still...HOLY FUCK." She pointed to the window. "What the hell is going on?"
"Dude. I'm telling' you... I know what's going on." Whoa... did Dave actually have some sort of revelation about the coming apocalypse??? "It's totally global warming. I saw that Al Gore dude talkin' about it, and he's RIGHT." Sigh.
She blinked. "Dude...really...I don't know a lot, but I fucking DOUBT that global warming would make flaming balls of firey rock come falling out of the sky like we're under a volcano or some shit."
"Oh. Then... I got nothin' then." Dave said with a defeated little sigh. "You ok, babe? You look terrified."
She tilted her head. "Well, for everyone but you, going outside is kinda a death sentence right now because big balls of flaming rocks are falling from the sky, Dave!" She shook her head. "How does this not bother you?"
He didn't say a word there. Even HE knew that nothing he could possibly say was going to make her feel any better. No... instead, he just grabbed her and hugged her to his chest, stroking her hair soothingly. "Hey... if it helps? I'll totally lay on top of you and make sure that anything about to hit you kinda smacks ME instead..."
She wrapped her arms around him. God, it used to be that she would have reacted horribly to someone trying to hold her, but a little bit of therapy and rehab seemed to have done wonders. His last statement made her giggle a little. "You promise?" she asked.
"Dude. Of course. You're my best friend. And way too hot to let some fireball wreck that fine ass." Well. In Dave's mind? That served as a compliment.
It actually worked for her, too. She pulled back from him just slightly enough so that she could straighten up properly and kiss him on the lips. He'd made her feel better. He OBVIOUSLY deserved it.
Well then. After kissing her back, with way more passion and surprise than he really knew he had in him.... he had only one reaction he could possibly give: "Dude. That... that was AWESOME."
She snorted. "Glad it was for you, too," she said playfully. "So, we should probably stay in tonight, do you think?" she asked. She had no real want of going out in that crap.
"Yeah... we probably should." Oh for... he didn't even get what she was SORT of hinting at. "So in case there's a fire we can call 911 and stuff."
Well, at least she knew how to deal with him, right? "Goddamn you're an idiot," she said, responding by yanking her shirt over her head to show that she wasn't wearing a bra, either. "Got my hint now, smarty?"
"Oh damn. Yeah... yeah, I think I gotcha now." He blathered, kind of staring at her chest like he was looking at a winning lottery ticket.
She snorted. "Glad I know how to get your attention," she said, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him toward her room in the back.