Damon Braddock (damonslostlove) wrote in btvsal, @ 2010-08-01 12:31:00 |
|
|||
Current mood: | crushed |
Current music: | Halestorm - A Familiar Taste of Poison |
Who: Bella & Damon
Where: Damon's apartment
When: Saturday evening, July 31st
Status: Complete
Rating: PG
Finishing up some work in his office, Damon closed a few cases and sent out invoices for his services. Standing, he moved on into his apartment to refill in his coffee mug before heading out for the evening for his shift at Eden.
Barefoot, the vampire was dressed in a simple plain gray t-shirt, jeans, and a casual blazer. Refilling his mug, Damon stook at the island in his kitchen, taking some time to sort through his mail that he could take a look at once he returned to his apartment for the rest of the night later.
OK, Damon had kind of been avoiding her lately, seemingly working a lot more with either cases for detective work or playing at Eden or other stuff. She really wasn't sure what was going on, but Bella was going to find out one way or another tonight. Instead of walking inside and just using her key, she knocked on the door. It had gotten to the point that she didn't feel comfortable enough to just let herself in. Shows how bad this had gotten.
Bella was right, as usual. Damon had been avoiding the Slayer once he'd made his decision after Adrianna's impromptu visit a couple of weeks ago. While his reunion with Bella had been a sweet, happy affair...the older vampire showing up had jolted him out his obsession with the Slayer. Damon had finally admitted to himself that Adrianna had been right...because how could he completely forget about her if he wasn't obsessed, consumed by Bella? It wasn't healthy and it wasn't fair to anyone.
Damon had been avoiding the Slayer, because he just really didn't know what to say. More specifically, he didn't know where to begin because...he didn't want to hurt her, but there was no avoiding that. No matter what went on with that conversation, someone was going to get hurt. Probably everyone.
So, the vampire was both surprised, and not, to find Bella in his doorway when he opened it. A smile tugged at his lips, but he forced himself not to snag a kiss from those lips that he knew to be oh-so-soft.
"Bella..." he said softly.
"Hi," she said softly to him as well. She wanted to lean up and kiss him, hold him, and just spend the night with him. She had managed to not miss him so horribly bad in the future because, well, she had found him. Now she found herself missing him even though the version that she had met originally was right here for her to touch. Is it possible to miss someone that you can see every day? Well, in Bella's case, it certainly was. She missed him so bad that it made her chest ache. "Can I come in?"
"Always," came Damon's ready reply. He stepped back, pulling the door open wider to let Bella into the apartment. In the descending silence, Damon headed back into the kitchen area to get her a cup of coffee. Setting it aside, he indicated the mug was for her and the vampire cleared his throat. Fingers tweaked the end of his nose and finally said, "Bella...there's something you should know." Damon gulped.
"When you disappeared, I...spiraled pretty fast and deep." A dry laugh and smile flicked across his face, "There was one moment where I seriously considered going to the roof and waiting for the sun to rise. It...I-It was bad, Bella." He closed his eyes and shook his head, "Those last couple of months before you reappeared..." The vampire opened them again, to look at her, "Were really lonely." He ended quietly and he moved to the couch, taking a seat on the arm.
"Bella...you need someone who can be with you all the time. Not...not just at night. Someone who can see you in the sunlight, someone you can grow old with." Damon shook his head, "I can't do all those things for you. I can't always be there for you, and I certainly can't grow old with you." The vampire stated with a sad smile and then murmured, "I can't be obssessed with you."
She walked inside after him, looking around the apartment as she did. She picked up the cup of coffee and just stared at it. She wasn't sure if she should drink it or what. As she listened to him, she briefly thought about throwing it at him, but she knew that she wouldn't do that. "I see..." She said simply, setting the cup of coffee back down before she did do something crazy like throw it, or just break it from squeezing it too hard. Slayer strength and all.
A part of her now wished that she had stayed in the past, if that was even possible, which it wasn't. Maybe she could have brought that Damon with her and went off to Paris or something. Somewhere far away so that the two wouldn't run into each other.
She finally looked up at him. "So, I guess I don't get a say in this at all then, do I?" She sighed. "You've been so lonely that, when I get back, you decide to break up with me? Damon, that doesn't make sense. What's really going on?"
"A couple of months ago, someone found me at The Vault." Damon lifted one of his knees to his chest, arms hugging the leg close, "A vampire, a lot older than me, possibly even older than Katrina...pointed out to me that what I have for you isn't love. It's obsession, because...I wouldn't have completely, utterly forgotten them when you returned." The vampire shook his head, "That's not love, Bella. Love doesn't make you forget someone that was there for you in a tough time."
Bella nodded. "Sure," she said with a sigh. That was more of what she had thought was going on. He had found someone else. Some other immortal woman that could actually be with him forever if they so desired. Someone that he wouldn't have to watch grow old and die, or have to watch being staked by their own mother because she was turned by the wrong person. "If you say so. I think I'll just go now." She fished the key to his apartment out of her pocket and dropped it on the coffee table. "Guess you'll be needing this back...to give to your new friend."
The vampire looked at the key a moment and then stood, plucking it from the table. Damon moved to stand in front of Bella and took her hand, pressing the key into her palm and gently closed her fingers over it. It took all of Damon's inner strength not to do more than that to the Slayer when he really wanted to run his fingers through her hair, pull her close, and whisper that everything would be alright in her ear. Instead, Damon forced himself to say, "...Keep it. If you ever need me for anything, I will be here to help you."
She fought the urge to roll her eyes. She wasn't sure if she could ever picture herself being in the same CITY with Damon ever again, but she pocketed the key again just the same. Easier to just get out of here so that she could cry in peace. "Fine," she said to him. "I'll keep it."
Knowing this would happen and seeing it were two different things. The hurt he was causing was eating him up inside, but it was the best for both of them. He wanted to apologize, but somehow Damon figured that would just be insulting at this point. He sighed and then stepped away, moving to the door and opening it.
She took a deep breath to try and stabilize her emotions. She knew that Damon would be able to hear her until she actually left the apartment building, so she didn't want to cry until she was far away from him. Not saying anything (because doing so would break the tenuous hold she had on her emotions at the moment), she walked through the door and away from the apartment, not looking at him at all.