Bella James Morrison McConnell (bella_mcconnell) wrote in btvsal, @ 2010-05-10 23:28:00 |
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Current location: | Ben and Skylar's Home |
Current mood: | worried |
Entry tags: | bella mcconnell, ben bale, place: la, plot: future problems |
Coming to Terms with Daddy
Who: Bella and Ben
Where: Ben and Skylar's Mansion
When: Monday, May 10, 2019
Sad to say it, but Bella was actually a little apprehensive about approaching Ben. She had only dealt with him as necessary, which wasn't much because she hadn't been staying there and she had been on tour the past four months, which, for all its faults, had at least given her time away from everyone to get her head on straight. Well, straighter. However, when Chloe had told her about her brother, Brayden, disappearing into the wild blue yonder along with his friends, well, she had to go at least talk to him. Even doing that took two days worth of gathering courage to do so, though. Still, she knew what she had to do, which meant going and talking with her step-father (that time on the road had given her time to think, after all, so why not call him that?).
Since Brayden's disappearance, Ben had been doing something he hadn't done in years: drinking. A lot. Not to the point of a staggering stupor, but enough to dull his anxiety a bit. He sat in the living room, glass of whiskey in his hand, staring at what looked to be a large photo album.
When she saw him, she briefly wondered if she had been calling him anything different than 'Ben' before this version of her had come back, sans memories. Deciding that he'd correct her if she had (or remember that he was dealing with a slightly different Bella), she simply said, "Ben? I kind of need to talk to you if you have a minute."
He felt a brow rise a bit, hearing that familiar voice. Sure, Skylar had told him she was back... but he also now knew that Bella wasn't exactly fond of either of them. Come on... 'Ben'? When the hell did she ever call him THAT? Combined with everything he'd been through? Yeah. Not a good thing. He looked toward the door, scruffy face showing that he'd clearly not bothered shaving for a day or two. "Come in, Bella."
She walked inside of the room. "Is that really healthy? Drinking by yourself?" she asked. Sure, she may or may not like him, but, well, he was important to her mom, and...well, that's where things started to get really confusing. Ugh, did things really HAVE to be this complicated?
"Tell you what, Bella..." He said in a tone too sadly amused to be funny, "You lose a child, have her come back hating you, then lose ANOTHER child, one that practically worshipped you... then you tell ME if you feel like living... healthy."
"I don't hate you," she pointed out. "I've had a lot of time to think while I was away on that tour." She rolled her eyes at the thought of it. How *did* her other self stand this kind of stuff, anyway? "I'm sorry about Brayden, though. I didn't know that he was gone."
"I had to sit by and watch while your mother, the most amazing woman I've ever met, KILLED you. Then I had to hear about how you feel about me upon coming back. Now my boy is gone. I love Brandie... but having her here is still not a substitute for losing two beautiful children." Jesus CHRIST. THIS was Benjamin Bale??? The future was a scary, scary place indeed. "I was just.... reminiscing about you kids..." He showed her the photo album... which was full of pictures of him, Skylar, and the three kids at varying stages of their lives: births, first birthdays, first days of school... and oddly enough? In almost all of them, little Bella was practically clinging to Ben.
God, she wanted to hit something for not being able to remember this right now. She reached out and touched one of the pictures. "I wish I could remember all of this." It was true. She'd give anything to remember what she was supposed to be, who she was supposed to be. "I really, really do."
"Wherever you went, whatever you saw that made you find me so... disgusting..." He had real pain in his eyes when he said it, and that pain was almost excruciating to see. "When you were here... before you were turned... you were my little girl. Sure, I shared you with Patrick and Patience, and you loved them... but you never quite bonded to them. As much as you loved your mother, you never clung to anyone like you did to me. Your Uncle Bretton used to teasingly call you my shadow, actually..."
She sighed. "When I was there and everything happened, I didn't know what to think. I thought that you were separating my parents and kind of just doing it because, you know, from what I heard, that's just kind of what you did. I was upset and didn't even bother to ask Mom just what she was really feeling in all of it. I didn't actually know *either* of you, which was a mistake."
"I miss my boy, Bella. I miss him so much it hurts. And more than anything?" Stop the effing presses: Benjamin Bale... had TEARS in his eyes. "I miss my little girl. The girl whose eyes would light up just hearing my voice. The one who actually LIKED when her mom went on tour, because she knew Daddy always made extra time for her then."
She sat down on the sofa with him finally. She was pretty sure that this had been the closest she had been to him since the whole Ben/Gwen/Skylar fiasco started, which made a part of her, the part that probably still remembered all of these missing memories, inexplicably sad. "I'm so, so sorry about all of this. I think Brayden might have gotten pulled back because someone was trying to pull me back instead." She felt like all of this was her fault.
"At least I know that... no matter where Brayden is... he loves us. What kills me is knowing how you feel about us. About me." He opened another page in the album, placing it on her lap. Sure enough... every picture had her clinging to him almost as if she were glued to him. From a toddler, all the way to the age of what had to be thirteen or fourteen, every one was the same: Bella, with a huge grin, just clinging to Ben, who had (and this would be funny to anyone who knew him in the past) just the most heartbreakingly proud look in his eyes, as if this girl was his world.
She reached out and brushed her fingers over the photo again. "I wish so much that I could remember these things," she muttered under her breath. She looked back up at him. "What was I like?" she asked him.
"Heh." He couldn't help but chuckle as he started to answer that question. "I guess... it shouldn't have surprised me at all to see you become the pop diva you did. You were a little princess. Cutely self-centered, a bit on the bratty side... but always full of love. You were about the most adorable little diva ever."
That actually brought a smile to her face. A small smile, but it was one, still. "I bet you guys were a little surprised that I didn't go the metal route." She made a face. "Pop fans are insane, anyway. Kind of wish I had, or at least not the 'crazy teenaged girl fan' pop star."
"I was fine with it the day you sang a cover of Van Halen's 'Dreams' at my fortieth birthday party. Ohhhh how your mother wanted you to sing 'Jump', but you made sure you picked a Hagar song..." Dear lord. It would appear that even 18 years in the future, the Roth/Hagar debate went on.
Of all the things she could have thought of saying at the moment, "Oh god, you're forty now?" OK, forgive her, but, when she had last really talked to him, he was like, in his late twenties. So, maybe not the most sensitive thing to say, but what do you want? Strangely, it made her sound much more like a regular eighteen year old than she realized. "Sorry, I just never pictured you...getting old."
"Forty-two now, actually. Thanks, kiddo." He laughed and shook his head. "Not a lot of people did. When you were a baby, a crazy girl that hung out with your mother and her... co-workers tried to kill me."
She remembered that. Although she had kept it to herself, that had made her angrier than she let on. Once again, probably memories kicking in in ways that she couldn't really understand. "Um, I kind of got yanked back before that really got resolved. What was going on with that? Who did it?"
"Name was Candice Harrington. Tragic story, that one. Went rogue, tried to straighten herself out... tried to kill me in a crazed attempt to stand up for someone she loved... ended up finally getting her head on straight, only to be killed by a nest of vampires trying to defend that same person."
She made a bit of a face. "That's messed up," she blurted out. "So, what happened with the other person? Did he or she fall for the declaration of love that is so screwed up it makes, well, everything else I've seen look normal by comparison?"
"The other person was, well... a former flame of mine. She and Candice... had quite a history. If it matters... I'm not mad at her anymore. She was a sick woman at the time... and she lost her life standing up for that former flame, a person who still means a lot to me." Ben had countless flings in the past, but other than Meredith, Faith was the only one who still truly held a special place in his heart.
Bella nodded. Wow, they were actually bonding. This was kind of weird, except not, which made it feel even more weirder. "So, do you think if I went back things would get back to normal for you guys? Like, the me that belongs here would come back and Brayden would come back."
"Normal? No." He smiled sadly, squeezing her hand. "You HAVE to go back though. I... can't explain to you why, but you have to. You have promise me that whatever it takes, you'll go back."
"Why do you want me to go back, though?" She had to ask. It seemed like he knew of something that she didn't. "I thought I got turned into a vampire."
"That was in *this* time. And trust me when I say... that's not gonna matter much longer." He said with a smile that came off looking much sadder than he intended.
She looked at him, confused. "What are you talking about? Now you're really going over my head."
"Bella... just trust me here. As the man you grew up calling Daddy..." Yeah, Pat was 'Father' or 'Dad' but Ben? He was always Daddy to the girl. "Trust me on this one, ok? You just... you have to go back." He knew she'd never leave them all here if he told her the truth... but he didn't want to lie to her, either.
She nodded. She had a bad feeling about this, but, she sort of felt that arguing would do no good in this situation. "There's something you're holding back, but I guess I'm just going to have to trust you on this one, Daddy." It was for his sake, but something told her that she wouldn't be seeing him much after this meeting.
"I love you, Bells. You'll always be my baby girl. I love Brayden and Brandie with all my heart... but we'll always have a special connection nobody else can touch." He forced that old Ben-smile that everyone remembered so well. "Now. Get outta here. And let yer old man figure out how to get yer ass back to your friends."
"Actually, I don't know if you a guy named Lindsey McDonald, but he was pushing me back back when everyone was pushing for me to stay right here," Bella told him. "Maybe he knows how to do it."
"Then tell him how to contact me. He and I... we'll do whatever it takes. Trust me when I say... he and I go way, way back." He said with gritted teeth.
She wrote down the number he had given her. "Yeah, I can tell that there's no love lost, there, whatever went on, but sometimes there are things more important than grudges."
"Exactly. And saving my kids is one of them." He mumbled, taking the number she handed him. "You should go see your sister. I know she's missed you."
Bella nodded. "I'll go up and see her right now," she said to him. "Just...don't do anything stupid, OK?"
"Trust me, Bella. I stopped doing stupid things a long, long time ago." He winked at her, a seemingly final glance at the young, fun-loving man he used to be.