Characters of a Minor Sort (jesschars) wrote in btvsal, @ 2010-04-12 10:13:00 |
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Current location: | Lena's Estate |
Current mood: | curious |
Entry tags: | lena jacobs, place: la, ~damon braddock |
Interesting Conversations
Who: Lena and Damon
Where: Lena's Estate
When: April 4th, Evening
Earlier that evening, Damon had nearly been floored when he received a phone call from Lena. He wasn't sure what was more shocking, that she'd called him or the actual invitation to come to the mansion. Considering the former couple's volatile relationship with the younger vampire, he wasn't sure if he was going to get blames for Lucian's sudden disappearance. Although entirely suspicious, because he suspected that Lena was a tad bit crazy, there Damon was on the older vampire's doorstep, ringing the bell and wondering what sort of plot she was hatching.
Was it sad that there was no actual plot behind this phone call? Probably. The part of Lena that scorned at the idea of emotions thought so. That part of her was fading though. Had it been training and an act for Lucian's part? It was possible, but it left Lena confused as to who she was and what she should do with herself. While she always had Devon to talk to, she wanted to speak to someone that she had known for a while. Maybe he could tell her of what she was feeling was insanity or something real. When the doorbell rang, the butler saw him in and led Damon to the library where she was sitting in a leather chair. The black backless Versace dress she was wearing clung to every curve. "Damon, I'm glad you decided to come," she said, standing up to greet him.
Damon, for the most part, was a casual dresser and he was sure that Bella would try to change that about him. Although, honestly, he didn't see what was wrong with a casual, but nice, button down shirt, jeans, and a worn pair of slightly nice boots. But, that was a woman for you, no matter if they fated to save the world over and over again.
It was clear by the younger vampire's body language that he was suspicious of Lena's statement. However, out of politeness and respect to the older vampire, Damon stepped forward and placed a hand on her upper arm and planted a kiss on her cheek, "Lena...thank you for your...surprising call."
"I have to admit that I'm surprised that you came. Pleasantly, though," Lena said to him. She walked over to a bottle of wine her butler had brought in. "Would you like a glass? It's normal, I promise," she said to him. Of course, after the stunt that had been pulled with Bella, she wouldn't be surprised if he didn't trust her on her word alone.
The younger vampire didn't trust her, but he was still riding a bit high from his encounter with Jon and his oh-so-delicious blood. Damon quirked a brow at Lena's words. Pleasantly surprised? Damon cut the chase and asked, "Okay, do I need to be looking for a Pod Person here? Where's the real Lena, would doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself and her missing significant other?" Ouch. That came out harsher than he intended, but he'd said it and there was no taking it back.
She went through the motions of making him a glass of wine even though he hadn't agreed to one. Training as a hostess made her polite, something that she was starting to realize that she HATED with a passion. She had spent so many centuries being what Luke needed that she was unsure of who she was. "Forgive me, but what's a pod person?" she asked, handing him a glass of wine just the same. She had never been interested in scifi movies. "Luke's not missing so much as gone of his own accord, Damon. And, as far as I can tell, he's not off cavorting with with Bella, so we can both breath a sigh of relief there. Neither of us want another Michele on our hands." Damon may not have known of Luke's little French slayer pet, but it had been the one thing that almost caused Lena to leave Luke on her own. "Did you ever think that I might want to just talk with you?"
The younger vampire chuckled a little at Lena's initial question, taking a seat opposite her in a matching leather chair. "One of these days, you need to rent Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Then you'll get the question I asked." Damon brought the wine glass to his nose, inhaling the scent of the wine and then took a sip, nodding his head in approval of Lena's choice. Knowing now that Lucian left of his own free will...saddened him, but not because Lucian left without any indication to Damon, but that he apparently had no regard to inform Lena. Damon murmured his condolences, "I'm sorry he did that to you, Lena." He lifted his gaze to meet hers, "Truly."
"I've never been much of a movie watcher, but I probably should watch some just so I get cultural references." She had only kept up with fashion and, to some extent, music over the centuries. As for the rest of what he said, she thought before answering, sipping at her own wine for a moment. Finally she looked at him again. "Thank you," she said to him. "I don't claim to know why he did it. I just know that he seems to have no want to be found, so good riddance, if that's what he truly wants." For someone to just leave after so many years infuriated her, at least it did now. "How are you doing?" She was fairly sure she had never asked him that before, but she was working on the empathy problem she had.
Damon gave Lena a respectable nod as a you're welcome and remained silent while she spoke. Except to answer her question and his own question was, why was even bothering to answer Lena? Perhaps it just to still feeling the effects of Jon's blood or, a more plausible answer, was Damon knew Lena wouldn't sugarcoat anything. She wouldn't try to say something that was supposed to make him feel better because nothing anyone had said had made the younger vampire feel better. Damon sighed after taking another sip of wine and set the glass aside, "There's an aching, empty hole in my heart where she should be and...I don't know how to fill it."
"Normally I would have suggested finding the girl's genetic double, using her, and killing her, but I'm trying to avoid doing that myself, so suggesting that to you seems silly," Lena said to him with a slight smirk. "I'm told talking about it helps. Hasn't helped much with me yet, but you're more used to dealing with feelings so you tell me. Does talking about it help at all?" Lena admitting to having feelings was a bit of a revelation in and of itself. Admitting that Luke leaving her made her feel worthless? She wasn't ready to go there with Damon yet.
With a dejected sigh, Damon set aside his wine glass on the side table between them. Carefully folding his hands, resting his elbows on the arms of the chair there was a silent moment while he stared down at his hands and contemplated Lena's question. Finally, the younger vampire looked up at the older one and slowly shook his head, "No...it doesn't help." There was a pause in which Damon's gaze roamed over the interior of the library and he tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat, shaking his head again, "There is a hole...in my heart. I don't think it can ever be filled again."
"I'm not good at being comforting, but I'll try," Lena said to him. "You may find love again. It isn't a good idea to say never because that is merely a good way to shut yourself off and make sure you never are happy again." She looked at him. "At least you were happy. I'm not sure I was."
Damon let his head fall back against the chair and he stared up at the ceiling, hands still folded as he said with a thoughtful tone, "...Maybe I don't want to be happy anymore." Perhaps the younger vampire was feeling a little vindictive, but he added, "Well, that's because you were with someone who didn't care about anyone but themselves."
"All I did was try to make him happy and he left me," Lena muttered. "I'm starting to realize that he may not have cared about anyone but himself, don't you think I'm finally getting that?" she snapped at him. "Then don't be happy, Damon. Be miserable for the rest of your existence. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? I on the other hand would rather try to enjoy my life, even if I'm having to adjust it a bit."
The younger vampire flinched at the cut of Lena's words, the tone behind them and then shame crossed his face. Damon honestly hadn't expected sympathy to come from this corner of his life. Contempt, ridicule, an I told you so but not this...A moment later, the vampire was on his feet and in front of Lena, leaning over her. His lips met the top of her head, his fingers from one hand partially buried in her hair and Damon whispered, "...I'm sorry."
Well, at least she finally got through to him in some capacity. She was a little surprised, to say the least, at the gesture of him coming up and kissing her on the forehead, but she couldn't help but appreciate it just the same. She reached over and squeezed his hand for a second. Apparently being around Devon was having a thawing affect on her. "It's fine," she said to him. "Looks like neither one of us are sure of what to do with ourselves, though."
Before he younger vampire sat down next to Lena's chair, Damon squeezed her hand back. His back pressed against the chair, knees drawn up to this chest and after a while of sitting silence, he chuckled a little a little, "You know...after all the people who have talked to me since Christmas...this is the first time I've felt...comforted." Damon tilted his head back, resting it on the arm so he could look at Lena.
She was a little surprised when he told her that this was the first time that he had felt comforted. Well, that at least showed that she had the capacity to still be humane to another person. That was progress, right? "I am glad that I am able to provide some comfort to you," she said to him. She smiled a tad. "I'm glad to see that I can still be comforting as well."
"They don't get it," Damon explained, getting to his knees and turning so that he faced the other vampire and rested his arms on the armrest, "The others don't understand that we feel things differently than they do. Their lives are so short that they don't really understand what it's like to live eternally." At Lena's words, Damon smiled and pointed out, "You weren't always a vampire, Lena." Then as an afterthought, the younger vampire added, "You should smile more."
She nodded. Maybe that was why she had little respect for humans. Sure she was working on that a bit, but she'd never try to date one of them. Better to stick to your own kind in that respect. "It's been a long time since I've been anything but, Damon." Her smile got a little bigger when he told her she should smile more. "I think you should meet someone. A new friend of mine. I think you'll like him."
Damon had to give Lena the respect she deserved for trying to change her ways. Now that he thought about it, Lena had the potential to do that long before now, however...Lucian had always been a bad influence at the people he touched (literally and figuratively). Perhaps it was good that he decided to mysteriously disappear for however long the older vampire decided to stay away. Lena's smile was contagious, triggering a smile on Damon's lips, "If you insist."
She was trying really hard to work on it. Other than the slip up with Ari, she had been sticking to murderers, actually usually catching them before they killed someone else. So, a little bit of cosmic balance to go along with things. "I do insist," she said to him. "I think you and Devon will get along. He's the one who suggested to me that I try to be better. That I can be." She looked at Damon for a moment. "How do you do it? It's not a mocking question at all. I actually want to know." She knew he fed on willing victims only, but she wanted more to know about how he dealt with it inside his brain, how he feels about things as it were.
"You can be better, Lena," Damon murmured and reached out to push an errant lock of hair behind her ear. The younger vampire stood and made a come on, follow me gesture before offering his arm to the older vampire. If Lena took it, Damon guided them into the gardens, thinking about her question because it was going to be difficult to answer. After a while, he finally said, "A long time ago, I came to the realization that...unless we stop feeding or something stakes us...we live forever." Damon looked at Lena, "That understanding, that real understanding of immortality...made the begging, pleading, the screams...seem so small in comparison." The younger vampire shrugged, "I knew I couldn't do that for an eternity and I grew bored." Why was he telling Lena this? So she could understand the next part of his answer, "Asking can reap the same benefits without the riskier consequences." Namely things that wanted to kill them.
She took him up on his offer for a walk. It actually made her a little sad that she couldn't see these beautiful flowers in the sunlight like they were supposed to be seen. Strangely, it was the first time she had felt this way. She contemplated what he was saying for a few moments before saying anything. "Some things don't care if we ask or if we take," she pointed out to him. "They just see us as abominations. Asking does narrow down the field of things that want to do away with us, though." In the long run, it was easier. That much she knew. She had just not always been the one to take the easier option. Of course, she basically let Lucian dictate her life for centuries without really even realizing it. Then again, that's what he was good at.
Damon chuckled, a hint of dryness to it, "Lena...we are abominations. I mean, come on!" He paused, turning so he could look her in the eye, a sardonic smile on his lips, "We're walking corpses minus the need for human flesh. We can't walk in the daylight, and anything Holy that meets our skin, burns us." The younger vampire closed his eyes, "All that is what makes us abominations, Lena." Damon opened his eyes again and a more genuine smile curved his lips once more, "But there are other things than bloody screams that make it worth while."
"I don't really think of us as abominations," Lena said to him. "Merely different. Maybe not necessarily better or worse, just different with different needs." She wasn't screaming that she was better than a lowly human, so consider this progress. "I'm looking into finding something interesting to make it worthwhile."
The younger vampire didn't reply right away, thinking over what Lena had said. Damon broke the silence and shrugged, "...Perhaps you're right."
"It's really just a perspective, I think," Lena said to him. It was at least food for thought.
Damon paused in his step again and then leaned in toward Lena and pressed a kiss to her cheek, "Good night, Lena. Thank you for your invitation." The younger vampire looked out over the gardens a moment before turning his gaze back to the woman, "If you want to talk again, call me any time." He added with a smile.