Meredith Delany (band_chicka) wrote in btvsal, @ 2010-02-23 18:50:00 |
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Current mood: | depressed |
Fucked Up Life
Who: Mere and Elle
Where: Baracus Motel (Yes, I do know where that name comes from. Giggle away.)
When: Sunday Night, Feb. 21
Since she left Deanna's Saturday evening, Mere simply packed herself a bag, grabbed her guitar, and left without a word. She had just lost all of her ability to want to deal with anyone at the moment. So, she had paid for a week's worth of stay at the Baracus Motel (the name actually made her smile briefly) and holed up. She had a nice enough butcher (who was paid well enough to do so) bring her some 'take out' to her room, but, other than that, she hadn't interacted with anyone, which was odd for her. Still, she didn't have it in her to talk to anyone else about her feelings or anyone else's feelings at the moment. So, staying away from others seemed best. With the windows smartly covered with tin foil and tape to prevent sunlight from getting inside, she was actually holed up well enough. Right now she was watching television, well, she was staring at her working television, anyway. She couldn't for the life of her say what was on it.
Perhaps... it seemed like stalking. The way Elle had been following Meredith around the last day or so. Skulking in the shadows, not saying a word. But was it really stalking someone if they're your daughter, and in your own, semi-warped way you're just worried about them? After keeping an eye on the motel for hours... Elle become a little disgruntled at the fact that Mere seemed determined to hole herself up and shut herself out. No way... she herself had done that for FAR too long, and look how well that turned out, hm? Finally, with that calm demeanor in place, she walked up to the door of Mere's room, and knocked softly.
When Mere heard the knock, she sighed. She caught the scent of her mother's perfume, which, by the way, hadn't changed since she was alive and Mere was a little kid, surprisingly, and knew who it was. A part of her wondered if she'd go away if Mere didn't answer the door, but figured that it would be quicker to get rid of her if she actually got up and answered the door. She pushed herself off the bed, walked over, and opened the door. "Can I help you?" she asked.
"I would say I should be asking YOU that, Meredith." She said as she just... walked right in. No invite necessary, thanks. She clasped her hands behind her back as she practically floated around the room. "You're not going to do this. I'm not going to let my only daughter end up like me." She actually smirked there. "At least no more than she already is."
Wow, that's actually kind of annoying. No wonder Ash hated it right now. Still, it would probably not be a good thing to shove her back out the door, would it? "So, I'm not going to do what I damn well please? Tell me, how are you going to stop me?"
"Meredith. I may be your mother... but if it came down to it..." She raised an eyebrow and looked her dead in the eye. "Do you REALLY think you can take me? Now please. Sit down."
"I'm not going to fight you," Mere said, sitting down. "I don't want to fight. I want to be left the hell alone right now." Besides, what difference did it make for her to go out at this point, anyway?
"So...." Elle began, seeming to want to have a more.... stress-free conversation before jumping into the worst of it. "I see you're taking your first stab at... being motherly. How's it working for you?"
"That's the least of my problems," Mere said to her. "Courtney's a good kid who got a raw as hell deal." Finding out that you can't exist in this dimension because your mother was dead was a rough thing. "That was at least working out mostly OK."
"You're doing fine." She stated simply. Of course she'd been watching. When she wasn't working on The Vault... she was generally watching either Mere or Jack. "The child seems... to have quite a liking of you, I've noticed."
"You mean in the way that she blushes every time I look at her?" Mere asked. "Well, I think she has a girlfriend now, so maybe that will ebb off a little. She needs someone her own age." Mere was only nineteen, but she already felt ancient.
"Besides..." Elle agreed with a sad smile. "It seems it's her father you're more worried about right now."
Mere rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, her father just had his girlfriend die on him in one of the most horrible ways imaginable and has now completely flipped his lid. Ya blame me?" She sighed. "Not that I can do anything to help him, anyways. He's gone off the deep end."
"He's still human." She said simply. "If you or I can be helped... why can't he? Grief is a horrible thing, Meredith. I've done my best to keep you from it as much as possible. He... is suffering from it in it's worst form."
"He doesn't WANT help," Mere pointed out to her. "Being human can't help the fact that you don't want help. That you want to bring her back to life or go to her in an alternate dimension or become a god and recreate the world in your own image."
Louise actually smirked there, covering her mouth with her hand as she tried not to... well... giggle. "Meredith? Repeat that in your head.... he's a teenaged boy with a broken heart. Of COURSE he wants help. He's just... afraid to accept it right now. Afraid to face his grief. I watch you. I've never stopped watching you. And I know you've loved this boy since you met him back in Sunnydale. Think about this: you're likely to live forever. That's a long time to not be able to forgive yourself if you just... let him destroy himself."
"Well, if he destroys himself, he'll destroy the world in some way or another, so I won't be around that long for it, will I?" Mere pointed out. "Sure, a part of him may want help, but it's buried deep under all the anger and hurt and fucked up-ness and he's REALLY good at pushing people away."
"Since when have you been a quitter, darling?" She asked, reaching out to place a palm on her daughter's cheek. "You are so much like your father... don't pick now to take after me."
Mere sighed and looked away. One thing that she couldn't say out loud was how much it had hurt to see Ash in the state that he had gotten into. Mere wasn't sure if she had it in her to actually fix him at this point. She wasn't sure if she was capable. "It's easier to quit when you know that you're not wanted."
"I didn't think your father would want me. Like... like this. And I quit. I left." She shook her head, knowing she likely did irreparable damage to any relationship she could ever have with Jack or Mere now. "If you can get him back to his right mind... and he still claims he doesn't want you around? Then that's not quitting."
"I'm not sure I can handle facing that," Mere admitted. "It hurts to be in love with someone and to think that they don't love you back, or do but you'll always be second best to some dead girl."
"Second best? Meredith..." She shook her head, sighing. "So dramatic. Sometimes you really ARE still a child. You can love different people in different ways. Just because he loved her in a different way than he loves you doesn't mean he loves you more or less. I watched you put him together again after the Summers girl. You two have a bond nobody else could ever touch, for either of you. And if you can't see that... then clearly you need to sit down and look harder. Your whole life, you've been so much like Jack. Be like him now. Don't give up until what you want is YOURS."
Mere actually looked up at her when she said that. Damn, maybe she did have a point. Who would have thought, huh? Mere was still a kid in a lot of ways, hell, most of them were. Still, it felt like the end of the world to her right now. Sadly, Ash kind of WAS her world in a lot of ways. "You may be right about that," Mere said to her. "Hopefully I can actually do that."
"I'm sorry, Meredith. For hurting you, for hurting your father. There are a lot of things I wish I could take back. But for now... let me be the mother I never got to be to you all these years." She opened her arms to the other vampire, trying her best to be comforting. She had spent so many years being cold, collected... this was almost new to her again. But for Mere? She had to try. She knew the girl needed this.
Mere just leaned into her. This kind of was something that she needed, at least from her mother. "Thank you," she muttered as she leaned against her. It was something that, really, she'd never had before.
"Let me try to repair this, Meredith. To be here for you. I'll help you through this... I swear it." She just held her daughter, for the first time in far too long remember what it felt like... to be content.