Talia Andromeda Portman (my_stars) wrote in btvsal, @ 2010-02-19 10:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | courtney kowalski, place: la, talia portman |
Being A Friend
Who: Courtney and Talia
Where: Regan High School
When: Courtney's first day back at school, after Lucy's death
Thankfully, Courtney's first post-funeral day back at school was uneventful. Despite the warnings everyone from Meredith to Talia had given her, if anyone had started shit today? She WOULD have killed them. No doubt in her mind. But, the student body remained unscathed as Courtney left the school, finding a big tree to sit beneath, waiting until everyone else was gone before leaving herself. she was dressed in a long black dress, with fingerless, elbow-length gloves, and her blonde hair pulled back in a bun. Her face was calm and emotionless... but she looked vaguely like someone about to snap.
Talia had noticed that Courtney seemed a ... bit out of it during class and kept a watchful eye on the girl, she didn’t think Courtney knew Lucy, given that she was a new student, but… she was open to the possibility that she did know her. Or was upset about something else entirely. So, when she spotted Courtney sitting under the tree, she tilted her head to the side and realised right now what the girl really needed. A friend. And so, she went over. She wasn’t dressed as ... bleak as Courtney was, in a pair of jeans and a white peasant-top, which had long sleeves but clung rather nicely to her figure. She held her laptop to her chest and smiled faintly down at the girl. "Hi."
Courtney's gaze lifted, that same 'ho-hum' expression she always wore evident as she looked up. "Oh. Hello, Talia. Has anyone bothered you today?" She actually had something resembling a hopeful tone there, as if aching for a reason to fuck someone up.
"No, not yet," Talia replied with a snort. Really seeing the need to destroy something, or someone in Courtney’s eyes. "But it’s still early. ... Can I sit with you, or do you wanna ... stay alone?" She wouldn’t be shattered if Courtney asked her to leave, but… at the same time, she wanted to comfort her friend. Hrmh, dilemma.
"I believe I could use a.... friend, right now." The way she stuck on the word 'friend', it was as though she was either ashamed or disgusted to use it. "Yes. Actually... I'm quite sure of it."
Without another word, Talia sat down beside her and leaned back against the tree. She set the laptop aside and, without asking permission, wrapped an arm around the other girl, just trying to be comforting.
Like the old song said, "whoop! There it is". The blush that quickly overcame the deathly pale blonde's skin. Courtney wasn't accustomed to being comforted, but this felt good. And frankly, she needed it. With a jagged, pained sigh, she leaned into the other girl, closing her eyes.
Talia pressed her cheek to Courtney’s head and smiled faintly, feeling a little selfish for enjoying this. "Do you want to talk about it or should I just… try to take your mind off of it?" Not that she really knew what it was, but she left the option open.
"I... somehow I suspect you couldn't possibly think of anything to take my mind off of what is bothering me, Talia." She said mainly because, well... how exactly DO you tell someone 'my mother, who's technically a year and a half older than me, just died'?
"Oh," Talia blinked. In her mind, something bad had to have happened for Courtney to be like this (Yeah, she’s a regular ball of sunshine, normally), so she just gave the girl’s shoulder a squeeze. "Whatever it is, I’m sorry it happened."
"It's.... the girl. That... that died. We were... very close." What else could she say, honestly? "I'm trying to be... myself. But I keep crying. And I rather hate crying. Or showing any form of emoting, actually." She actually looked fairly annoyed by it.
"... I did notice that, but crying, while uncomfortable for you, is a part of the grieving process. I think I cried for three weeks straight after my mom died, but ... it helped. The pain lessens, but ... the people who leave us are never really gone," Talia murmured and shook her head. "I’m sorry. I don’t think that made sense."
"Your.... your mother passed away?" Courtney asked with some tone of surprise. Perhaps they DID have one big thing in common, right off the bat. "I... I feel as though my heart is cracking into small pieces. And I do not know how to put it together again." Yeah, because normally, Courtney's heart was so overflowing with love and affection.
"She ... it was a long process." Talia murmured, her voice tinged with sadness. "What helped me was… remembering the time I did have with her, I think. I could scream it wasn’t fair until my face turned blue, but the fact is I had more time with her than some people have with their parents. And like I said, she’s not really gone ... a part of her is still with me." She put a hand to her chest, "Just like your friend is still a part of you."
"You are a very wise girl, Talia." Courtney said with certainty. She looked around... everyone else had finally seemed to taper out, leaving them as the only two students remaining on campus. "And what are your feelings on people who do irrational things to help themselves cope with loss?"
"I ... guess it depends on the irrational thing," Talia murmured thoughtfully, a small frown of concern on her face. Was Courtney talking about kicking a puppy, or ... something else? Poor girl. Smart as she was, could be completely oblivious sometimes.
"Some people tend to escape from grief with irrational displays of passion." She explained in that casual monotone. "And I was strongly considering seeing if kissing you would work in that manner for me."
"Oh," Talia blinked again. She moved her mouth to the side thoughtfully. On the one hand, she wanted Courtney to kiss her because she wanted to, not to escape from grief… but on the other hand, if she helped her friend? "We could try."
Now, keep in mind that Courtney had been thinking about this since the girls had met. But this was her way of rationalizing having real human emotions. She closed her eyes, leaning towards the other girl, nervously placing her lips on Talia's, reaching over to place one hand on her cheek.
Talia felt the blood rush to her cheeks as Courtney’s lips pressed against hers, and she, too, closed her eyes as she leaned into the kiss, placing one hand on Courtney’s thigh to keep from falling over. This ... was a world of nice, and warm, and in that moment, everything just faded into the background.
After breaking the kiss (which stayed sweetly innocent), Courtney stayed close, their foreheads still touching, as she gave a nervously deep breath. "That was... that was very nice." She said in that maddening monotone.
"Very," Talia agreed, taking in slow and steady breaths as she reclaimed her hand. Heh. After a moment, she allowed herself to look into Courtney’s eyes, wondering what she’d see in them.
Sadly, all that was in Courtney's eyes, even before this, was darkness. Despair. She was like a tiny blonde terminator: no pity, no remorse. Yet, for this girl, she seemed to soften a little. "...thank you."
Talia closed her eyes and nodded slowly. What could she say, really? 'I hope that helped'? A little frustrated with her own ineptitude, all she could think to say was: "You’re welcome."
"So..." She had to admit it now... this was horribly frustrating. "I have absolutely no experience in this. Where do we take this from here? I don't entirely believe either of us went into the actual kissing process out of mere casual curiosity."
"No..." Talia agreed, as she brought a leg up to her chest and hugged it. "But I guess that really depends on what you’d expect." She would have joked about flowers or candy, but that just seemed a bit ... off. Points for a sense of humour, though, right? "Usually people date..."
"Are.... you saying you wish to date me?" Courtney asked, a fine eyebrow raising slowly, that being the only change in expression she allowed there.
"Would that be so bad?" Talia asked, that sweet mischievous grin of hers making an appearance.
"I... do not believe I said that, no." Was her way of answering that question. She almost couldn't believe the little grin that popped on the other girl's face. It promised all kinds of mischief she hadn't thought the girl capable of. "You... are actually quite beautiful, you know." It wasn't exactly a Hallmark moment, but come on. She was TRYING here.
Talia saw that Courtney was trying, and that just warmed her heart… and cheeks. Not many people really made that kind of effort before. "I never really thought so before, but hearing you say it ... makes me want to believe it." She rolled her eyes, feeling incredibly foolish for saying that.
"You are." She said, just saying what was in her mind, no matter how it sounded. "You have... an unusual look, but one that is stilll quite... appealing to me."
Wow, Talia wasn’t used to compliments. She tilted her head to the side thoughtfully. "I could say the same about you, except I don’t think 'beautiful' really covers it in your case." Cutest thing ever? I think so.
"I..." She actually smiled there. Although... it was a terribly sad smile. "I've been told I look a lot like my mother." Oh god. Not again. Courtney had never let herself cry. EVER. She tried not to feel much in the way of emotions. But ever since Meredith had broken the news to her a few nights ago... she couldn't seem to stop. "I... I miss her, actually. A lot."
While not entirely bright in the social department, Talia was a smart girl, and sensed that there was more going on than Courtney was letting on. She was quick to wrap her arms around the other girl, and gave her a gentle comforting squeeze, "Sshh, I know. I know," she cooed softly.