Patience Kowalski (eternalpatience) wrote in btvsal, @ 2010-02-11 11:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | pat mcconnell, patience kowalski, place: la |
Grieving
Who: Pat and Patience
Where: Their home
When: Wednesday, Feb. 10th (After her scene with Ash)
Truthfully? Right now Pat McConnell wasn't sure how he should act, or what he should do. He barely knew Lucy Van Warren... but her older sister Chloe was one of his bandmates. And Kevin had taught his wife to sing for the wedding. And Ash... poor Ash... he was in love with her. He'd called the Van Warren house, left a heartfelt message, telling Chloe that anything she needed, he and Patience would be there for her. Now? He just sat in the small studio he'd built into he and Patience's basement, absently strumming an acoustic guitar, trying to possibly write something that could express what he knew they were all feeling right now. He paused, rubbing his palms on the thighs of his faded black jeans, leaning his head against the wall with a sigh.
Patience had just come home from Ash’s, having spent God only knew how much time with her little brother... frankly she would have stayed, clung to him for all eternity if he ... didn’t have things to do. She scowled at the thought as she toed off her shoes at the front door, and made her way to the basement. She didn’t have to think where Pat would be, she just knew. She was still in the jeans and a white camisole she lazily dressed in that morning, and her eyes were red rimmed from crying. Without saying a word, she made her way down the stairs and carefully took that acoustic guitar from Pat’s lap, setting it aside before crawling on top of him, wrapping one arm around his shoulder and pressing her forehead to his cheek.
"You ok, kid?" He asked, his voice croaking a bit, as he kissed her forehead tenderly. He knew she liked Lucy more than she let on... especially knowing how much she meant to her little brother. "It'll be ok. Not for a long, long time... but we'll all be alright."
"I’m okay. I just... I don’t understand how or why these things happen. Lucy, of all people, didn’t... she didn’t deserve to die." Death, it seemed, was always going to be a sore subject for Patience. Especially when it was so close to home. "And I know we’ll come through. ... But Ash. You didn’t see him, Pat. He looked so broken." She clung to him a little tighter then.
"I'm scared for him. I can't lie to you... never could." He sighed, stroking her hair lightly. "All we can do is be there for him. Give him anything he needs. Show him we love him." He held her tighter, whispering sweetly into her ear. "I love you, Patience. For better or worse, right? This is pretty bad... but our love will get us through this." He felt selfish thinking it... but it was true to him: as long as he had her? Nothing could be THAT bad to him.
"I ... have this horrible feeling that he’s going to disappear," she admitted, "After he gets his vengeance or whatever. He said he wouldn’t commit suicide, but..." her tongue snaked out to lick her lip, "I think there are worse things than death, and he’s capable of doing them all to himself." Her eyes met his and she nodded slowly, "I know that. I love you, Patrick. Promise me we’ll grow old and senile together?" She knew it was a promise he couldn’t reasonably make and she hated sounding so vulnerable in saying that, but she... needed to hear it.
"We will." He placed a large hand on that slightly growing tummy, tilting his head to carefully kiss the side of her neck. "We've been through too much to lose now. All of us. Ash included. He'll be fine. He has to be if we're gonna make him godfather, right?" He smiled, knowing that she'd likely smile at that thought.
"Mm, yeah," she murmured, smiling faintly. Pat always had a wonderful way to calm her down, didn’t he? She shifted a little in his lap and placed a hand over his chest, feeling his heartbeat. "We should see the Van Warrens soon," she added absently.
"Yeah. We should. Fuck..." he sighed, unable to even conceive of how Chloe must feel right now. "When I... I lost you... it was the worst time of my life. I didn't think I'd ever breathe properly again."
She clung to him again, and cooed in his ear softly. "I know. But you’re right. All we can do is be there... and eventually, we’ll be alright." She kissed the underside of his jaw. "I mentioned that I love you, right?"
"You mighta said it once or twice..." He smiled, as, knowing her like he did... he knew exactly how to get their minds off of this. "Might need to show me how much though..."
"Oh, reeeeeeally?" She smirked, raising one eyebrow at him. He wasn’t wrong. It was definitely a good way to get their minds off of things. If only for a little while. Okay, a few hours... three tops. "I don’t know... I’ve got alllll this house work to do..." she teased.