Patience Kowalski (eternalpatience) wrote in btvsal, @ 2009-08-18 15:20:00 |
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Current location: | Pat's House |
Current mood: | loved |
Entry tags: | pat mcconnell, patience kowalski, place: la |
Take Two
Who: Patrick and Patience
When: Monday Night
Where: Pat's House
Patience had already had one session with the shrink and, while she wasn't sure how THAT was going to work out, it had gotten her out of the house and on her own for an hour or so. All she had to do was take it one day at a time. She'd talked to Ash about moving back into Pat's house. It wasn't like she had a lot of possessions left over. Mostly, she'd wanted to run the idea by him just in case he...what? In case HE needed HER? Yeah, just the thought made her laugh. He was all grown up and sometimes it surprised her just to look at him and see him leading his life but she couldn't help but be happy for him. She'd called Pat on her way over to the house and let him know that she was on her way. Would the doctor say she was taking a step back by moving in with him again so soon? He was her crutch, even Patience could admit that, but she was getting stronger. With every day that passed, she felt more real, more solid. That didn't mean she wasn't messed up. It just meant she was doing the best she could.
And of course, he was waiting for her, a big, silly grin etched onto his face. In some ways, she was as much his crutch as he was hers. With all the bad things he'd gone through, having her back was like a drug, one he had no desire to stop taking. He opened the door for her as she arrived, originally intending to help her carry her things in... only to realize she really barely had anything other than a few small bags. He'd have to take her out, for sure, and buy her some things... help her feel like this was THEIR home, as opposed to only his.
"What?" she asked, matching his smile even though her tone was mockingly offended. "No, 'Welcome home, sweetheart' - no, 'Honey, I cooked dinner'? We might need to renegotiate the terms of this living arrangement." She paused in the doorway and leaned up to kiss his cheek as she passed him by. "So. Where do you want me to put all my...stuff?" She had clothes and a few CDs she'd stolen from Ash...without telling him, of course. Her toothbrush and all those things she used on a daily basis were, conveniently enough, already here. She'd barely spent much time with Ash and maybe that was another reason she'd wanted to sit around and talk to him for a while.
"Well, I figured your 'welcome home' would come later, and would be said with more grunts and groans than actual words, but if you'd prefer a badly cooked dinner from the king of microwave means, then hey... who'm I to judge, right?" He shrugged, playing indifferent there. "Get yer ass in here, smart-aleck."
She laughed and nudged his hip with hers as she stepped inside and set her bags on the floor. It should have felt more momentous, right, but really...she'd been with him almost every night since Ben had brought her back. It was just a little bit anticlimactic and that struck her as funny. "I feel like there should be more to this. You know, you and a couple of other shirtless, sweaty guys carrying all my boxes and heavy electronics." She grinned and turned back to him. "Instead...it kind of feels like I've been here all along." Of course it did. For HER. Probably...not for him.
"Trust me... I got something MUCH bigger than a simple welcome home planned for you." And oh, did he. Once she was ready to socialize? He already made plans with the Bales to hold a huge party for her at Avarice: music, booze, friends, and dancing. "But seriously... welcome home, sweetheart. Don't ever leave me again, you hear?"
Patience's eyes narrowed when he said he had something MUCH bigger planned for her. Was that supposed to be something sexual? She arched a brow at him, but didn't ask any questions. Then he had to go and get all sweet on her and, as always, a little part of her melted inside and she stepped up closer to him, her hands resting lightly at his waist. "I'll do my best. I promise."
"You better." He said, leaving it at that. Christ, he barely made it through losing her once... he never wanted to deal with that loss again. "Tomorrow morning, I'm taking you shopping. You're going to get all the new clothes and anything else that you want." He put his hand in his pocket, clutching the ring he'd bought her this afternoon. He was still struggling with whether or not it was too soon to give it to her...
"I don't need a lot of stuff," Patience told him. She grabbed his free hand and started tugging him into the living room. "Clothes, maybe, but I can make due for a while. I don't want you spending money on me. I guess...this is just one of the downfalls of coming back from the dead...two years later." She grimaced and sat down on the couch, kicking her shoes off before she curled her legs under her. "I think I'm going to have to get a job. It's just all so...weird, you know? I wonder if this is what coma patients feel like when they wake up to find the world's gone on without them and they're still...stuck in the past."
"Actually, that's probably very close to what you're going through." Pat said, no smart comment there, as she was pretty much on the mark. "I just want you to get back to having a normal life, you know? I mean, I have plenty of money... my band is signed to a record contract now, and we're gonna be making money from touring and album sales.... but if you want a job, I can talk to Ben or Chloe, see about getting you something at Avarice or the Sugar Shack..."
God, just hearing him talk about record contracts and touring and albums.... It made her happy - ecstatic, actually - for him. He was so talented and deserved every success. She only wished she could have been with him while he'd made that journey. "I AM getting back to a normal life. I've got you and Ash and...." Okay, maybe she had a ways to go before things were completely normal. "I'll get there. I promise, okay? I'm not going to make you live with some nutcase recluse."
'"Come on now..." he said, that playful glint in his eye. "You're MY nutcase recluse." He had to show her that he had no worries about this, and he knew the best way to do that was to make her laugh. Comedy was always their most powerful bond, after their mutual attraction.
Sometimes, she hated that he knew just how to make her laugh. Okay, that wasn't true. She loved it deeply. Nothing could ever be TOO bad when she was with Pat. "Well, yeah," she admitted grudgingly, fighting back a smile. "I am, and don't you forget it. That just means you have to take me, whether you like it or not. You're completely stuck with me."
Damn it... that made him clutch at the ring again. He wanted so badly to do this, right now... but he feared he was throwing too much too soon at her. "Can... can I ask you something? And have a promise that you'll be completely honest, with NO regards to my feelings?"
Shifting her position, she drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs loosely, her head cocking to the side as she let her gaze trace the features of his face. "NO regard to your feelings?" she echoed. "That sounds a little ominous. But you know I can't lie to you. Not very well, anyway."
"Well... as you know, when you... you..." he hated saying the word, still. "died... we were technically engaged." He was beating around the bush, he knew, but he knew she was going to be honest, and he was fearing that that truth was going to hurt. Badly. "I didn't know, I mean... is that something you still want? Or is that still sometime far away?"
She wasn't sure what he was trying to say at first, and for some reasons, she winced at that word he seemed to have trouble just saying. She nodded when he reminded her that they'd been engaged. She hadn't forgotten it. She hadn't even really had a chance to start making all the plans when she'd...died. Watching him, she tried to figure out where he was going and then, like a burst of clarity, she understood. Right before he got to the point. Patience was speechless for a second and she cast her gaze down to the cushions, biting her lip thoughtfully before she looked back up at him. "Are you asking me? Officially?"
"Well... for the sake of my heart... we'll say the question is hypothetical for now." He closed his eyes, preparing himself for the worst, just in case. He knew he certainly couldn't blame her if she DID say she wasn't ready... but he also knew it wouldn't hurt any less.
She nodded slowly, still seemingly in thought. The tip of her tongue traced the lush curve of her lower lip and she continued to watch him. "Well. In that case, hypothetically speaking, I wouldn't be able to give you an actual answer until you actually asked me." She paused and the look in her blue-gray eyes softened. There was even a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. "But don't ask me until YOU'RE ready, Pat. I'm not going anywhere...that I know of."
"Ok. Right. Yeah." He stammered a little, giving a nervous, boyish chuckle. "Well... because when I was out earier, picking some stuff up for you..." He was completely a rambly mess now, and it wouldn't take a brain surgeon to figure out why. "And I sort of stopped in this little jewelery store I passed... and, well..."
There was something so endearing about Patrick when he was nervous. Unfolding her body, she crawled closer to him. Everything always felt better when she was close to him. "Patrick?" Her smile widened and there was something playfully sweet about it as she reached out to touch his cheek lightly. "Are you asking me?"
He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a ring. It was almost exactly like the small gold band he'd given her before, the one he had recently given to Baily. Only this one, now that he had more money, had a small but brilliant diamond on it. Inside, was the exact same engraving: "PM/PK - Eternity" He smiled at her, honestly looking as though he might throw up. "So... proposal. Take Two." He slipped down to one knee, smiling sweetly, but trying not to be TOO serious, because he knew she loved their playful banter. "Will you marry me? And... not die this time?"
The look on his face was priceless and she couldn't help but laugh, even as she felt huge, fat, hot tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't want to cry, but it was inescapable. The waterworks started slowly and she sniffled, her nose turning pink all too quickly, the way it always did, and she reached up to brush the tears from her cheeks. Unfortunately, they kept coming. All she could do was nod. Was that really an answer? Letting out another wavering laugh, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, then turned to kiss him. "Yes," she murmured against his lips. "I mean. Yes, I'll marry you. And...I'll TRY not to die this time."
He just got up, pulling her to him for a long, emotional hug. He finally, for the first time since they'd been reunited, let himself just... let go. He began to cry, deep, emotional sobs. At times, he was barely understandable. "I... I was so lost without you... my whole world seemed like a big fucking blur..."
She clung to him until she heard his voice. Leaning back slightly in his embrace, she looked up at him, her hands cradling his face. She pulled him down just far enough that she could feel his forehead resting against hers. "Don't," she whispered. She didn't like hearing him talk like that. She never wanted him to feel that way. "We're both here right now. I can promise you forever, Pat, but I can't promise that...that I won't die. I will. It might be before you or it might not, but you will NEVER lose me. I'll always be with you. My love for you will never die." She wiped his tears away gently and kissed his lips. "Now...can I have my ring? Pretty please?" She laughed again and wiggled her fingers against his chest.
"Yeah... of... of course." He managed to stop the waterworks, and shook his head for a moment, before slipping the ring expertly onto her finger. "Sorry about that... I'd just been... holding it all in, you know? I was so afraid of upsetting you..."
"It's okay." Funny how the ring felt right at home on her finger. It made her feel a little bit more complete, as if she'd unconsciously been missing the other one. "You don't have to hold it in. I know...this hasn't been easy on you. You don't have to be strong just for me. We're both adjusting. Don't be afraid of what you're feeling, okay?" She wrapped him in another tight hug. "I love you, Patrick McConnell. And I'm going to be your wife." She said it and it made her smile, another laugh bubbling up inside her. "I'm gonna marry you." Her little sing-song voice was soft against his ear and it was questionable whether it was a promise...or a threat.