Lexi Lane (cest_moi) wrote in britannia_ny, @ 2010-01-04 15:33:00 |
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Current mood: | depressed |
Current music: | Charlotte Martin ~ On Your Shore |
Entry tags: | elaine corbin, lexi lane |
Second Tries (Closed RP)
The dreams were getting louder, stronger, like an orchestra that's finished it's chaotic warmup and is now ready to get into the meat of the piece. Each night sent her tumbling from bed - her empty bed, her cold bed, the one just for her because that's how she wanted it, right? - onto the floor, gasping, retching, heart thundering a bass line she could barely breathe above. And all day, now, she fought the shadows of what was. She'd been so patiently oblivious before Britannia. Now she could barely think for the ghosts of the past.
She was so lonely. Never was before. God, she prided herself on the way she held herself apart, never having too many connections, never tying herself down. Now she'd kill for someone to claim her, to belong somewhere.
...Or he would. He wanted it and Lexi was just swept away. She didn't know anymore.
In any case, someone who watched, who listened who paid attention, would see the gleam start to wear off of Lexi. Her smile wasn't so bright, her laugh not nearly so brilliant. The grief and desperate despair of the man who once was, the man who'd died so achingly alone, so completely a failure, so broken and torn apart by his own stupid actions, he was starting to dull the carefree girl he'd turned into. Lexi tried, she did, but some days it was hardly worth the struggle.
Like today. Showing up on Elaine's doorstep with a pie and a bottle of wine and only the vaguest notion as to why. How the hell she thought this could help was a bit beyond her. But Elaine had been the first to name her, really, the first to touch both herself and Lancelot. So maybe she could help. Maybe she could make things better.
Or maybe she could just warm her up, even for a little while.