Who: Ford Harper and Andi Kingsland What: Ford shares his news and attempts to keep moving forward When: Saturday, August 31, 2019 | late afternoon Where: Bettina's and Andi's house Warnings: Death and illness, some plot
Currently, Ford's whole world was the couch where he'd been sleeping for the last several weeks. Sometimes he was curled up under the blanket that stayed folded at one end for him, and sometimes he was cuddled up with Loki, but he hadn't moved from that spot since Thorne had dropped him off that morning. Bettina had checked on him more than once, but thankfully she hadn't lingered or insisted on being overly chatty. He'd turned off his phone. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there, but he was so numb that it really didn't matter.
He was trying his hardest to think about absolutely nothing. Sometimes it was working.
Loki had wandered back over and nuzzled his side, demanding attention that Ford was perfectly happy to give. He sat up enough to allow the dog to jump up onto the couch, then leaned into Loki's side while he scratched all the dog's favorite spots. "Missed you, too, buddy," he murmured into fur. "Got over a week's worth of pets to make up for."
Andi was having a not so good day. She’d gone to work at the reserve, only to find that the oldest unicorn was missing. She and Will had gone looking for her, but the tracking charm had basically just faded away, meaning the unicorn had been taken off the ground of the reserve. Andi knew what had happened. Poachers had come and taken Grace. It was the only logical answer she had, considering one of the unicorns had been hurt on her first day by poachers. Add to it that she was worried about Ford, and her whole head was a mess of things.
For the better part of the day, she had been talking to poachers and trekking through the woods and trying tracking charms only to keep getting the same result. Afterwards she looked over every unicorn, making sure none were hurt in any way. Thankfully, they all seemed okay, just skittish and probably worried over their missing friend.
Then there was the paperwork, but once that was over she was clocking out and heading home. She thought a good, hot shower was in order before she went to go see Ford at the medical center. This meant she was not expecting Ford to be cuddled up on the couch with Loki when she walked into the house. It was a nice surprise, one of the better moments of her day so far.
“Ford?” She said as she dropped her purse into a nearby chair. “You’re home. I mean, Thorne didn’t break you out again, did he?” And he was touching Loki, which made her wonder. For the past week had been hell with the no touching part because of his immune system being completely gone while he went through the treatment.
Ford hadn't been able to admit to himself until that moment that he'd really been waiting for Andi, but her appearance at the house made it impossible to deny. He looked up, and she spoke, and it was as if a fire had been lit nearby. The ice that had encased his heart and kept him just that little bit removed from the world had already started to melt and crack. He had to look away as he sat up fully, turning to sit normally on the couch, with his hands clenched on the cushion on either side of him.
"Technically, yes, but it doesn't matter." He stared at the ground, taking a few even breaths because that was all he could do for those few seconds. Loki nosed at his arm, but the churning in his chest was too great to pay attention to anything else right now. Even his own voice sounded distant as he said, "It didn't work." Another breath, and then a quieter repetition. "It didn't work."
Andi opened her mouth to ask why it didn’t matter, but then Ford was explaining himself and her heart froze. “Oh Ford,” she murmured quietly and then rushed to his side. “Loki, move over,” she said, shooing the dog to the other edge of the couch. Loki reluctantly moved, allowing Andi to sit beside Ford where she took one of his hands in hers and her other went around his shoulders.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, unsure of what else there was to say. But just because the treatment didn’t work this time didn’t mean that she was just going to walk away from him or let him go through this alone. “What did the healer say?” She asked. “Why didn’t it work?”
Ford barely reacted to her touch, only staring down at her hand wrapped around his. "There's not really a 'why' for it. Well, there probably is, but it doesn't change anything. My body didn't accept the stem cells, or it assimilated them and is still producing the diseased blood." It was like a recitation, probably compiled from a dozen other explanations he'd gotten from healers over the years, though he couldn't have named which ones. "Thorne didn't take it well. Not that he takes much well."
He started to continue talking about Thorne, to tell Andi about the short conversation between his twin and his mom, maybe even about Ford's first meeting with the wizard...but all at once it seemed so, so pointless. He had so little time. He'd borrowed too much already, and now Fate was coming to collect.
Everything felt like it had narrowed down to a pinhole as he turned and looked over at her. The next breath he drew in was shaky, stuttering, and he knew that he wasn't going to be able to hold it together much longer. He brushed her cheek with his free hand, then leaned in just enough to place one soft kiss on her lips. "I wish—"
He bit the inside of his cheek, still looking at her for a second before he crumpled against her shoulder, trembling with sobs.
Andi listened, her mind working. She didn’t know enough about medical side of things. She knew that stem cells were a big thing, that they could heal a lot of ailments she thought, but that it wasn’t working here baffled her. She hoped the healer’s had kept some of the stem cells and were still continuing to try, to see what they could do to make it work. Because it had to work. Ford had to live. If he didn’t…. There was no end to that sentence, nothing good anyway.
Of course Thorne hadn’t taken it well. Ford was his twin brother, and though they barely knew each other she was sure that Thorne wanted to get to know this other half of himself. That couldn’t happen if Ford was gone. God she needed to stop thinking about Ford being gone. It wasn’t a good thought.
When Ford looked at her, she smiled. When he touched her cheek, she leaned into the touch. When he kissed her, just a simple, soft kiss, she was surprised. Her eyes closed on instinct, and she returned the kiss, welcoming it. His words were along the same thoughts as her own. She wished it wasn’t like this. She wished…
Her arms wrapped around him, holding him close and hiding her face in his hair as she, too, cried with him. She just held him and let him cry it out, her tears silently streaking her face. “Don’t give up, Ford,” she said with a voice that was thick with the emotions she felt. “Don’t you dare do that. Do you hear me? Even in the last second, don’t you dare give up on me. We’re going to find a way. Whatever it takes. I’m not ready to lose you yet…I’ll never be ready for that.”
Everything Andi said was a blur as Ford sank into the force of his anguish, half a day delayed. The only time it had been this bad had been his initial diagnosis, when it was all fresh and horrible. Since then, his natural propensity to positivity and optimism had won out, and while each failed attempt hurt, he had always known there was something else to try. All he had to do was be strong a little longer....
That was no longer the case, and for the space of many minutes, that was the only thing running through his head: you are out of options.
But as the tears started to slow, and his breathing came easier, he couldn't help remembering what his twin had said that morning. No. You said it yourself. You don’t want to die. I’m far too stubborn to let death win. How was it that this could be the end, but Andi and even Thorne still saw options, but he didn't? Everything felt backwards, like he was stranded deep in the woods and couldn't find true north.
Slowly becoming conscious of the awkward way that he'd burrowed into Andi's space, he shifted slightly so that he could wrap his arms around her in turn. "I don't...." His voice was still tight, rough, and he had to swallow a few times and try again. "I don't know how to look forward anymore. At first it was years, and then months, and then weeks...and now even days feel uncertain."
Andi didn’t care how awkwardly Ford was leaning into her. She would have held him like that all night if that was what he needed. She would pretty much do anything for him, hell she had even gone to be tested to see if her own stem cells would help him. But when he moved, her body was grateful to have a chance to get more comfortable. She adjusted just slightly and continued to hold him close, one hand sliding up and down his back.
“The way to look forward is that you go one day at a time. One second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time,” she told him. “I refuse to give up on you, Ford. You’re not alone in this. You have me and you have Thorne, we aren’t going to let this win and we aren’t going to allow you to give up,” she said, her voice tight. She hoped that Thorne was with her in this, about not letting Ford give up. “I’m positive that we haven’t exhausted all avenues yet. As long as you’re here, there is hope.” She moved her head and pressed her lips against the top of his head. “You’ve got more to live for yet, and Loki needs his dog father to live. You got that? So one day at a time.”
Ford wound his fingers into her now-shorter hair and held her tighter, despite the relative weakness of his body. He wasn't sure if he wanted to give up, or if he'd simply decided it was the only thing left for him, but he did know that he didn't want to disappoint her by going against what she wanted. Maybe it wasn't the same thing as having hope. Maybe it wasn't going to buy him more than a few hours of respite from the clawing despair that had started to latch on the second he'd allowed himself to feel.
"Thorne thinks he's going to be able to hunt down our biological father. The vampire. But it's such a long shot, and even then we don't know if vampires have the right biology." He pulled back so that he could see her, but didn't bother wiping his eyes; she'd already seen him looking his worst. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life chasing a fairy tale. I'd rather...I don't know…be the fairy tale." Maybe his online vampire persona wasn't quite that, but it was a fantasy that improved on his circumstances, so he thought it counted. "I want to live. Not just survive."
Loki had somehow managed to move to the floor and had put himself where his body rested against both of their legs, as if he were trying to comfort them both. Andi kept her arms around Ford, feeling his fingers in her hair. If this were happening at another time for different circumstances, she would have said that it felt nice.
When Ford started to explain about his biological father, she remembered that he was adopted and that there were still chances for a cure of sorts for him. “I can help search,” she said. “I can hire a private detective.” She had the money to help, and if it got Ford what he needed then it would be money well spent. “What about your birth mother?” She realized she didn’t know much about his birth family, but she had learned quite a lot about his adopted family and they her for the time spent in the medical center. She smiled at the rest of his words, her arm moving to bring a hand up so she could cup his cheek, her thumb brushing against his skin and wiping away tears. “Then be the fairytale,” she said. “Make a list. Live your best life, the life that you want. That’s something I can definitely help with. Let’s live!” Her eyes caught his and she lifted her eyebrows.
"She doesn't know where he is. He left her when he found out she was pregnant, apparently," Ford said, shaking his head. Though the idea of a private investigator was intriguing. He wasn't surprised that he hadn't thought of it, given the day he'd had, but he wondered if it had occurred to Thorne as a possibility. Probably. Thorne's brain seemed to go at a million miles per hour sometimes.
His eyes dropped to her lips and the smile that had curved there. Somehow, impossibly, he felt himself respond in kind. Maybe his own smile was dimmer, not supported by much other than liking this specific moment in time, but it was worlds better than how things had been. Maybe one second at a time was going to be his reality from now on, but this second wasn't so bad. Quite the opposite.
"Right now I pretty much want to curl up on this couch with you and Loki and talk about anything but my life," Ford said, giving a little shaky laugh. All that crying had taken a lot out of him, and the thought of moving seemed far harder than even thinking about the future. Even if he hadn't been exhausted, though, he couldn't imagine that he would want anything different. "Your day. Loki. My parents. Your crazy sister. My deviant brother. The fact that you drunk texted me." The fact that he wanted to kiss her again—really kiss her—but the timing was atrocious. "Sorry to hit you with this first thing in the door. Loki has been keeping me company but...well, not the same."
“So deadbeat dad is really deadbeat,” Andi sighed. Why did this have to be so difficult for Ford? Why couldn’t things just work out? He was such a great guy and there was no way in this world that he deserved this. She wished she had the power to fix this, to make it all go away, but the best she could do was to hold him and comfort him and make it all seem a little less sucky.
For a split second she thought he was going to kiss her again. Her lips even parted when his eyes darted down to her lips. She wouldn’t have minded, though she knew that everything was just so heavy which was why she hadn’t tried to kiss him again herself. It was a little aggravating, not knowing what to do and not wanting to do the wrong thing.
“Curling up and talking about everything sounds like a dream,” she smiled again and started to kick off her shoes. She was nodding about what he wished to talk about. “My day hasn’t been so…” she started to say and then he brought up the drunk texts. “Oh god,” she groaned and moved to cover her face with both of her hands. She knew her cheeks were flaming red now and she just didn’t know what to say. “To be fair, Mia sent the first text and I just followed through,” she said behind her hands. “I don’t know whether I should apologize or just hide forever,” she moved her fingers to peek through at him. “I’ve never in my life ever done anything like that before.”
Ford laughed and tugged her a little closer, using his other hand to pull gently at the ones that were covering her face. "Well, I've never had that done to me before, so we're on the same page there." Laughing too hard still hurt, but so long as he kept it light, it was okay. Right now, it was a struggle to not laugh harder. "And anyway I don't see what was so bad about it. I've gotten through some pretty rough moments thinking about those messages. Well, thinking about you and the fact that you sent those messages."
Andi moved closer and gave a small sigh as Ford pulled her hands away, her cheeks still pink from the furious blushing she was doing. “How is it that you’ve never had anyone drunk texting you before,” she asked, her eyes meeting his. His next words were what really caught her attention and she wasn’t even sure how to respond. She’d never felt this way before, had never liked anyone enough to even want to drunk text them, never had anyone ever taken up as much of her mind as he did. “You thought about them? Me?” She gave a small smile and looked down at her lap once more before looking back up. “I meant what I said,” she said and took a breath. “All of it. I like you and I think you’re amazing...though I think I said amazeballs,” she groaned and rolled her eyes on the last word. “I’ve pretty much have liked you from the start.”
It occurred to him that it was strange that he felt comfortable saying these things, but Ford quickly realized that he didn't care if he said something stupid. It was very possible that he had limited time left, and that meant he didn't have time to worry about making a fool out of himself.
"I mean, you were drunk, so I think I can forgive you for bad vocabulary?" He laughed, and this time it was enough to make his chest clench, and he had to close his eyes for a second to let the pain pass. When he opened them again, he continued as if nothing had happened. "I meant what I said, too. I like you. I wish I—" He stopped and shook his head. He didn't want to spend time on the what-ifs or the powerless wishes, either. "Is it okay if I just kiss you and think about what to say later? I'm probably not all the suave in general, but especially not today."
Andi laughed with Ford, but when the pain crossed his face, she sucked in a bit of air and waited with him until his eyes opened again, a look of worry on her own. But when he continued on as if nothing had happened she let out a breath of air and smiled. I wish… She wished too, and nodded in understanding. Oh how she wished.
She reached up and cupped his cheek with one hand, her eyes searching his for a moment. “I think kissing now and talking later seems like a grand idea,” she said, letting him off the hook of trying to explain anything. They both had admitted liking one another, what else could they say at this moment. “But just so you know,” she murmured as she moved closer. “I like how un-suave you are, because then I know that you really mean what you are saying,” she smiled and then leaned the rest of the way in to press her lips against his.
Ford might have been tempted to respond with a tease about his lack of suaveness being an act, but he was far more interested in sliding his hands back into her hair and responding to that kiss. It was only a couple of seconds later that he had to pull back for breath, drawing as much air as he could in a single breath before he pressed his lips to hers again.
And again, it was only a few more seconds, and he had to break again. "Sorry," he murmured between breaths, cheek resting against hers. "Might have to take it slower than I'd like." He pulled back so that he could shift on the couch, attempting to find a more comfortable position with a little better support from the cushions. "Would it still count as a date if I called in a delivery order to the Kestrel and we had a picnic on this couch? Asking for a friend." He managed a lopsided grin.
This was probably the only time that Andi missed her hair being long. She liked Ford’s fingers in it, raking through and clinging to strands. That along with her lips pressed against his left goose bumps along her arms, a flutter of butterfly wings in her stomach and a warm feeling in her chest. This is where she belonged, she just hoped it was for a long while.
“Don’t apologize,” she murmured back, her hand running through his hair as they sat cheek to cheek. When he pulled back, she smiled softly at him and nodded at his question. “Yes, I think so,” she said at his question. “You can tell your friend that I think it would be the perfect date. Add to lowering the lights and lighting candles and it would be an unbeatable date,” she grinned. “You call, I’ll grab candles.”
Ford dragged his fingers over her cheek, reluctant for a moment to release her even for a short time, but then relented and dropped his arm from around her. This morning's news and the hours of numbness that had followed weren't gone, and he had a tiny spike of fear at the thought of turning on his phone again, at seeing the messages from his parents that he knew would be there, and probably messages from his followers, too. He knew that people cared, but right now he couldn't think too hard about why they were caring. He hated to think of Andi or this so-called date as a distraction, and they weren't, entirely, because he would have wanted it regardless. But distraction was definitely an element of it.
"I'm on it." He pressed the button on the side of the phone and pretended that he didn't feel every buzz of the notifications coming through. He tapped the phone icon and placed the call, studiously ignoring pop-ups and every other alert to messages. He didn't want to think about it right now. Didn't want to have to think of a way to answer people's heartfelt messages to make them feel better when he didn't feel better.
He ordered a couple of things he knew Andi had had before, since he liked them both and could just take the one she didn't want; he wasn't super hungry anyway. After getting off the phone, he mustered up enough energy to straighten up the blanket and throw pillows on the couch before she returned. Loki nudged his leg, and he realized suddenly just how late it was. "Sorry, buddy," he said, giving the dog a good scratch. "Hey, would you mind grabbing his bowl, too? I entirely forgot to give him his dinner, oh, two hours ago."
Andi didn’t want to leave Ford’s side at all, but she wanted to get changed out of her work clothes and get more comfortable before really snuggling up with Ford on the couch. She headed straight for her bedroom and quickly changed into a tank top and sweat bottoms, then came out with the candles and matches she had in her room and set them on the coffee table.
“Ahh, poor Loki,” she said as she reached over to rub at her poor dogs head. “Come on boy, let’s get you fed,” she said, giving Ford a smile before she headed to the kitchen. She filled Loki’s bowl and made sure he had water, then grabbed both her and Ford drinks before going back out to join him.
“So,” she said as she lit the candles and then settled back on the couch beside him. “I’ve decided that you will not be sleeping out here on the couch anymore,” she looked at him. “You can have my bed, I’ll sleep out here.”
"Thanks," Ford said as he accepted the drink and took a sip before putting it on the coffee table. He slid his arm around her shoulders as she sat down, giving her another little crooked smile. One moment at a time. "No way. That would be weird. You're the one actually paying rent around here. I'm the slacker who crashes on the couch and generally upsets the balance of the otherwise serene existence in this house." He reached for a lock of her hair and tugged gently, playfully, on the end. "Besides, this couch is comfortable. No reason to swap it up now."
“Ford…” Andi snuggled into his side gently, not wanting to hurt him any. “I slept on this couch for a few nights before I got my bed here,” she said. “I know exactly how this couch feels and you need to be in something more comfortable.” Not that the couch wasn’t comfortable, but her bed was so much better. “You’re going to start sleeping in my bed. No argument,” she said with a raised eyebrow and a small smile.
Ford wrapped that same lock of hair around his finger. "You obviously haven't spent much time in hospitals if you're worried about the quality of my current bed by comparison." He kissed her cheek, right at the edge of her smile. Narrowing his eyes playfully at her, he said, "Not even going to let the sick vampire win an argument. I see how it is." He brushed his lips over hers. "What about a compromise?"
“I don’t believe I’ve ever spent time in a hospital,” Andi admitted. “But if I had, it would have been the most expensive room with the most comfortable bed, courtesy of my parents,” she rolled her eyes. Her smile grew when he kissed her cheek and she turned her head a little more to look at him. “I have the inability to let anyone win an argument, sick or not,” she said with a chuckle which was then hushed by his lips on hers. Her stomach did that weird flipflop sensation that she’d never felt before Ford and she had to force herself to concentrate on what he said. “Um..what kind of compromise?” Because if it were more kissing, she could do that.
Even as he'd asked it, Ford hadn't actually come up with a good compromise to offer; it had simply seemed like a good thing to say. Unfortunately, his brain was not functioning at full speed to really control what he was saying, so he had given it about two seconds of thought when he said, "Well, you could stay there with me." At which point his brain caught up, and it was his turn to blush furiously. His only saving grace was that the lights had been dimmed for the candles, so maybe it would be less obvious. "I mean, you just shouldn't have to sleep out here, is all I'm sayin'...."
Whoa! Andi hadn’t been expecting that for a compromise. She bit down on her lower lip and stared at him for a second as she tried to get her thoughts in order. She had fantasized a time or two about getting Ford into her bed with her, but this had not been in any of the scenarios. Her bed was big enough for the both of them, so it was definitely manageable. “You want me to sleep in the bed with you?” She asked, her cheeks turning pink once again. “You don’t have to do that. I just… is that what you really want?”
"Is that a rhetorical question?" Ford said with a laugh. "Sorry, sorry," he added quickly, running his thumb lightly over her cheekbone. "I'm just having trouble imagining a scenario when anyone would be idiotic enough to say 'no' to that."
He was quiet for a moment, forcing himself to slow down and not let his mouth get ahead of his brain once again. This was important, and he didn't want to get it wrong. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Or to feel like you can't tell me 'no' because of...well, everything. This is still new and all, and yeah, maybe I'm a little afraid—" He broke off, biting his lip for a moment before he continued in a lower tone. "I'm actually a lot afraid of never getting a chance for things. But this isn't that. Not in the way you might think, anyway. I don't think I have to tell you that I feel pretty much...well, like shit. I'm not exactly in top form to take advantage of sharing a bed, even if I was the pushy sort to start, which I like to think I'm not."
Andi lifted a brow, giving a small smile at his words. She was sure that someone out there in the world would say ‘no’, but she didn’t point that out. She knew what he was trying to say and it was a compliment of sorts.
“Ford…” she trailed off for a moment and smiled. “I’m not afraid of you taking advantage, whether you are in top form or not,” she said. She was almost certain that he would be a total gentleman if he were healthy. “And you aren’t making me uncomfortable. I just didn’t expect that to be your compromise,” she admitted. “Sleeping in the same bed would be nice,” she then told him. “I just don’t want you offering that because you think you have to, because you’re a gentleman and…” she wasn’t sure what she was going to say after that. “I want you to be comfortable.”
"I didn't expect it to be either," Ford admitted, a bit sheepishly. "But one second at a time, right? I'm pretty sure the gentlemanly thing to do would be to take my parents up on their offer of a room in the house they rented in Columbus, not to point out that I already know about your llama pajamas, so really there's no reason not to just share here." His expression stayed even for about half a second, and then it cracked with a teasing smile. He let his thumb trail from her cheek down to trace over her bottom lip. "I'm comfortable. Here, your bed, one of us, both of us, whatever. Promise. But not being alone is a bonus."
“Okay,” Andi managed to get out, it floating out from her lips on a slip of breath. Her lips had parted slightly when his thumb brushed over the bottom one and she had to, once again, remind herself to breathe in and out. “You’re not alone, you won’t be alone; sleeping with you in my bed would be nice,” she gave a small nod. “Is it selfish of me that even though I know you should probably be with your parents I would much rather have you here instead of somewhere Columbus? I very much like having you here, where I can see you and touch you, and know that you are...relatively okay,” she cracked a smile.
"Relatively okay," Ford repeated, paused, and then nodded. "I think I can manage that one." Probably, it was going to fluctuate, more now than his mood ever had done during his treatment, but maybe he could at least manage something on the slightly more positive side for her sake. "I think it's pretty selfless, considering you're giving me what I want."
There was a hint of a tease in his tone, but there was sincerity, too. He searched her face for a moment, then leaned up just enough to kiss her softly one more time before relaxing back into the cushions again. "Food should be here soon. Maybe tell me a bit about your day while we wait? And I'll save my energy for after." He winked at her.
“You’re just really hard to say no to,” Andi grinned, teasing him again. But if she were to be really truthful, giving him what he wanted was also giving her what she wanted so it was a definite win/win.
Returning his soft kiss, she thought that maybe they should do more of that without the talking, but she knew it wasn’t exactly fair and that he wanted to know what was going on in her life just as much as she wanted to know him. She let out a puff of air and pushed some hair behind an ear. “My day hasn’t gone so well,” she said. “One of the mares are gone, the oldest. Will and I thought she might have passed on, but…” she shook her head. “Someone has taken her from the reserve. Probably a poacher… so…” she lifted her hands, not knowing what to say. “And I feel completely powerless because I can’t track her.”
Ford's face scrunched up a bit, and it took him a minute to realize she was talking about unicorns and not horses. He blamed his high discussion with Gigi for that. "Is it because of the funky wards?" After his adventures with Thorne, he'd better understood some of the random comments that people made in passing on the Reserve. He'd had plenty of time in bed to overhear conversations in the hallway, or for the medi-staff to make references. He tightened his arm around her a little. "How does that work? Tracking down poachers, I mean. Is there, like, an agency for it? Or do you have to hope to catch them in the act?"
Andi snuggled more into Ford, accepting his comforting squeeze, and gave a small sigh as she thought about poor Grace and how afraid the unicorn must be. “I believe the funky wards are allowing poachers to come in, yes. They are taking advantage of it, maybe even behind them,” she said. “If we could track Grace’s tracking rune, we’d be able to find her and the poachers, but her tracking rune is inactive. They’ve cloaked it somehow, turned it off, I...I don’t know. I can only track where she went inside the enclosure and then nothing,” she looked at him. “Security will try to track it, I’ll be keeping a lookout and if I come across them…” she closed her eyes. The whole thing made her angry. “Did you know on my first day of the job here, I found a unicorn who had been harmed by a poacher? They had cut from her tail and shaved her in places and then took bits of her horn. Who does that?” She looked at Ford. “It’s just...so aggravating.” And it felt good to at least talk about it a little bit.
Ford shook his head, frowning. "No, you never told me that. I guess it's not the sort of thing that's nice to discuss when you're dancing or shopping for dog food." Despite the serious nature of the topic, though, he had to admit to himself that it was nice to talk about something other than his own problems. Weirdly, it made the world seem like it was continuing to move, and that maybe he could just coast along with it. "What happens next, then, aside from security tracking it? Do you double down on wards with the unicorns? Or station extra people? Will you need to be at the Reserve more? Because I know I look pitiful today, but I really can and don't mind making sure Loki's fed and everything, if you need me to take some of your share."
Andi gave a small smile. “No, I suppose that’s not the sort of thing that you discuss when doing that,” she smiled again, though it was still a little sad. She hadn’t exactly known Ford when they had danced at the Gala, and then when they took co-partnership of Loki she had been too blissfully happy to really want to talk about ugly things that had happened, and then she had learned Ford was sick, so she had just been keeping all of her issues to herself. A missing unicorn was not nearly as terrible as what Ford was going through. “I don’t know if we have the extra people to spare, but I will probably work longer shifts maybe, and we’ll strengthen the wards, keep them all closer to the stables where they can be seen at all times,” she shrugged. “I can still juggle Loki and seeing you and working a little extra at the reserve, and with you being here, it will make things a little easier,” she said, giving a full smile then. “I just hope we can find Grace before they hurt her too badly.”
Ford wasn't so sure it was possible for the wards to be strengthened, despite his question, but he kept that part to himself. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel worse. He kissed her temple. "I hope you do, too," he said, because he didn't want to provide any sort of empty reassurances. He'd heard too many of those himself over the years. Then again, hope was a dangerous thing, too, but it was far easier to have it for someone else. "I like being in your list of things that you need to do every day, though. Do I get a time slot? Other than bedtime, of course."
Andi wasn’t sure what all measures they could take to find Grace and to protect the others, but she knew she would do whatever she could. Even if that meant staying up all night at the stables, it was something that she would do. She pushed the thoughts away and focused on Ford, smiling and leaning in to kiss him gently on the cheek. “Of course you get time slots other than bed. First thing in the morning, calling or texting throughout the day when I’m at work, dinner and through the evening…” she grinned. “How does that sound?”
"Sounds like something to look forward to," Ford said, his return smile soft around the edges as he reached for her cheek again. He couldn't control the current dark tendencies of his life any more than she could control poachers, but maybe they could steal some smiles as they went. "Does right now count as 'through the evening'? Because I think we might still have a few minutes before we get to the 'dinner' part." His smile went wider as he leaned in, and this time he didn't intend to stop kissing her until the food arrived, even if that meant a hundred tiny breaks to catch his breath.