WHO: Will Moody and Anthony Goldstein WHAT: Ant answers some of Will's questions. WHEN: Wednesday, July 24th (backdated) WHERE: Medical Exam Room Four RATING: Low and adorable
Thus far, today had been a relatively easy one. Now, Ant knew that even by just daring to think such a thing was inviting Fate to mess with him, but he was enjoying his day. Sure, there was a call-out to one of the public tour groups after a few visitors had been bit by some grindylows, and he'd had two cases of mumblemumps break out among the interns, which was a bit surprising as he was used to seeing it in people much younger than the late teens or early twenties of the Reserve's interns. If there was another case he was going to ask Potions to brew up a vaccine for the lot of them.
But that was a task for future him. Right now he had a consult with one Obedience-To-Thy-Will Moody. Well, that was a mouthful of a name, but Ant didn't judge. Mostly he just wondered if there was any relation to the Moody family in England and Alastor Moody, his former professor. Though, the question if he was even a professor lingered, but that was a better debate to be had over a pint with his former classmates.
Ducking into Exam Room Four, Ant greeted the young man with a broad smile. "Good afternoon, I am Healer Goldstein. Anthony. You can call me Ant, Anthony, or whatever you feel comfortable with. And how may I address you?"
Will had occupied himself looking at the educational posters in the exam room while he waited, and was peering with horrified curiosity at an illustration of a witch infected with dragonpox who looked extremely uncomfortable. He looked up at the healer's entrance, and returned his smile. "Good day, sir," he greeted him politely. "I am Obedience-To-Thy-Will Moody. Folk call me Will. Is--" He hesitated a moment, because it seemed rude to ask, but his curiosity and concern for a healer who had been kind to him drove him on. "Is Healer Strand not coming back? Are you taking his place here?"
"Just filling in, I assure you!" Ant's smile remained firmly in place. He wasn't sure if the question came out of simple curiosity or the fact that there seemed to be an undercurrent of dislike for the cross-lineage healer among some employees. Ant thought it all rather distasteful but kept those thoughts to himself. "Healer Strand will be back in place in no time." He might stay on until Healer MacMillan returned from her sabbatical, but that had yet to be confirmed.
Taking a seat in the chair provided, Anthony opened his notebook and set his Quick Notes Quill to start. Some of his colleagues might have preferred computers, but Ant was still stuck in the ways he'd been taught at Mungo's, which meant quill and parchment. At least he didn't have to physically take notes any longer. Charmed quills were a fantastic investment and were far easier to read at the end of a consultation. "So what brings you in today?"
Will nodded, reassured, and stood to unbutton his shirt, quite unselfconscious as he laid it neatly over his chair. "I have some strange rash," he told the healer, and pointed out the raised, lace-like pattern running down his side under the waist of his jeans. "It came on very sudden yesterday on my stomach and--" he gestured vaguely, his cheeks flushing a little, "below-- but I consider I have been feeling poorly for a few days. I had fever and ague yestereve, and this morning I found the condition had spread, as you see, so I considered I should come in. I have not seen aught like this before. Do you know what it is, sir?"
There were many reasons for strange rashes to appear quite suddenly. Some more innocent than others and some more carnal. But it was not Ant's place to judge the whys, but to make sure that his patient understood the hows. "And how are you feeling now, beyond the rash? Do you still have a fever and chills? Nausea?"
Rolling his chair closer to Will, Ant put on a pair of gloves. "I would like to get a closer look. Is that alright?"
"Aye, sir," Will agreed, and obediently turned to let the healer inspect his side. The new position exposed the old scars striping across his back, souvenirs of his teenage years with a grandfather who believed in physical punishment to purify the soul and did not believe in magical healing. "I consider I am still overwarm, but the ague has gone. I have headache now, but 'tis not so bad as the ague was, and my stomach is settled, but," he swallowed experimentally, "my throat is sore. Also, this morning I had stiffness in my hips and my back when rising, like an old man." He turned his head to watch Ant examining him. "It could not be dragonpox or the like? Healer Strand gave me a potion against it."
With Will's back turned, Ant allowed himself to frown at the sight of the old scarring. He couldn't be sure if his patient was muggleborn or not, but even if he did not have access to magical healing surely even with muggle medicine the wounds would have healed better than this? Looking down at his left hand, Ant shook his head. Scars always held their own stories and it was up to those that wore them to share those tales.
"It's not dragonpox, no." Ant dragged his fingers over the raised, lace-like patterned skin. "Tell me, Will. Are you sexually active?" The man looked old enough, but Ant wasn't going to judge one way or another.
The relief Will felt (he really hadn't wanted it to be dragonpox) was short-lived, as that next question made him start in surprise, a deep flush rising immediately over his chest and up his cheeks. He swallowed, and turned to face the healer again, meeting his eyes for one brief moment before he dropped them. He hesitated, but he'd been conditioned to always tell the truth, especially to healers, and so he nodded, one quick, shameful jerk of his head. "A-aye, weeks ago I… I acted improperly. I know 'tis not -- that we should wait until we are wed, but here in the world 'tis so different, and -- I have been weak." He swallowed, a new fear growing in his belly now as he looked down at those patterns on his skin. "Is it -- do you consider it may be punishment for such licentiousness? A mark of Cain? Shall I bear it all my life?"
Oh no. No no no. Ant could already hear echoes of his father clucking in displeasure in his mind. He kept his face carefully neutral, however, because if he thought about the fact that Will likely hadn't had access to accurate information about sexual activity and wellness. He could respect people's religious beliefs of abstaining until marriage, but there was no excuse to withhold vital information!
"It's just a simple rash. A few potions––one to ingest and one to rub onto the affected areas––and you will be right as rain. Now," he scooted his chair backward to give Will a bit more space, just in case he was uncomfortable being in such proximity of another person, "it can be prevented in the future as long as you follow some safe sexual practices."
Adopting a softer look and gentler tone in the hopes of getting Will to meet his gaze, Ant spoke again. "Are there any questions I can answer for you? I could probably give a pretty decent version of my father's lecture that he gave to myself, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, and nearly two entire generations of Hogwarts students, but something tells me that you don't want me to go into that sort of explicit detail."
Will was still bright red with shame, but the matter-of-fact words in that gentle tone eased the tension in his spine some, and he chanced a look into Healer Goldstein's face. He didn't look even a little bit stern or disapproving as Will had feared, which was astonishing; his mouth was open in amazement, and he took a shaky breath to calm his nerves and start to cool down his mortified face.
"I am betrothed," he said, and flushed all over again, because he hadn't said that out loud often enough to be used to it, and glanced down at the faded bracelet wrapped around his finger like a ring, which he'd protected with spells and hardly taken off since Luke had tied it there that night. "I will be wed, but I -- sir, I come from Old Plymouth. My folk are what thy folk call Traditionalists. Such things are not spoken of there. And I have worked in farm labor for years, so of course I know how the creatures..." He flushed even more deeply, searching for a word that was not too crass to speak out loud. "How they proceed in their mating, but I consider I know very little about the… the marriage bed." He looked pleadingly at Ant. "I pray you will tell me how we can be safe when we cleave together, for I would do nothing to harm my -- my beloved, if I could avoid it. And also, if 'tis different…" He hesitated, his eyes dropping again for fear of judgment. Most folk here in the world didn't seem to mind about two men as a couple, but it still felt so strange, and he hadn't spoken it to anyone but JJ. "My beloved is a man," he said, very low.
Ant did not say anything immediately. Clearly, the young man was wrestling over something very dear to him and interrupting would only cause more turmoil. “Thank you for sharing that with me, I know from personal experience that cannot be easy.” Even when he had probably one of the most accepting families ever, Ant had found it hard to share details of his personal relationship. Still did, some days.
Looking around the exam room, Ant made a decision. It was no place for a conversation about matters such as these. It needed comfortable chairs and tea most definitely. “Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll get the potions you need for that rash. After that, why don’t we go to my office so I can answer any questions you might have, alright? I promise it will be far more comfortable than the exam room.”
Will held his breath for a moment, and let it out on a shuddery, shaky sigh. That simple acceptance meant more to him than he could say or even fully understand right now, and all he could do was nod and turn away to reach for his shirt. "Aye," he agreed softly as he shrugged it on. "I thank you, Healer. I -- may I ask -- you say you have had this experience also, so I consider mayhap -- are you also…" He still struggled with the word, no matter how easily Luke could say it; it still felt foreign and instinctively shameful on his tongue from the derisive tone he'd heard some people say it in, here in the world. It took a moment and another breath before he could finish, very small, "Gay?"
"No, not exactly." Ant didn't know Will's story, or even what he meant by Traditionalists, but there was something that tugged at him. Like he wanted no harm to come to the young man in front of him. Now, granted, he rarely wanted harm to come to anyone, but this was something different. And this was precisely why he was inviting him to share a cup of tea. "I guess you could call me bisexual––I am attracted to both women and men. Or maybe just one man." Will, his Will, had always been the exception to the rule.
Once clothes had been put to rights and he had deactivated his quill and organized himself, Ant beckoned the younger Will down the hall and to his office. The water was already heated, thanks to a lovely charmed kettle his sister had gotten him for his birthday a few years ago. It didn't take too much effort to fetch two mugs and drop the tea bags into them. And the tin of biscuits. Never forget the biscuits. "Do you take tea and sugar?" Ant gestured for the young man to sit down. "Biscuit?"
"Only milk, sir, if you have it," Will answered, ducking his head. "Thank you. 'Tis very kind." His flush had faded to just a mild warmth in his cheeks as he mulled over that word, bisexual. That was what JJ was, he supposed, remembering their conversation that sunny morning after church in the spring, when they'd confessed what had seemed like grave moral failings to one another. That seemed impossibly long ago now.
After a moment he realized with a start that he was being rude, staring off into space while Healer Goldstein made their tea, and he looked around the office for something to comment on. A framed photograph on the crowded bookshelf caught his eye, a group of three adults and a pretty little girl, and he moved over to inspect it. "Oh, is this your…" He hesitated, unsure what word to use for the handsome man with his arm around the healer in the photograph. "Partner?" he ventured an uncertain guess.
For his part, Ant wasn't bothered by Will getting lost in thought. He'd already made the decision to let the young man guide the conversation. He could take as much time as he needed. He didn't have anything on his schedule for the next couple hours. So, barring any sort of emergency, he and Will could enjoy a leisurely talk over as many cups of tea as was required. "That's my family. Rani. Will. Our daughter, Melody." He pointed out each individual in turn. "Rani, Will, and I…." there was a pause as Ant sought the right word, "Share one another." It didn't quite sound right, but then again he had never adequately found a succinct description for his relationship. "Instead of a duo, we are a trio."
He broke his own biscuit into two and popped a section into his mouth. American style cookies were interesting, but he much preferred the standard Scottish shortbread, especially with tea. "You had questions about the marriage bed?"
Will's mouth dropped open at the explanation, and he stared at the photograph again, shaking his head a little in wonder. He'd never fully understood the concept when it was Cate with her two beaus, and hadn't even imagined that there were other people in the world who lived that way as well, and with a child. "Oh," was all he managed to say, and even that was very faint and mostly shocked.
After another moment where he had no idea what to do with the half-startled, half-scandalized thoughts rolling over in his head, he slid down into a chair and wrapped his fingers around his warm teacup. "Aye," he said, his face and ears starting to burn again, and he took a deep breath. "Sir, I - I pray you will tell me how… how 'tis done. I know that a man can know a man as if he were a woman, for Scripture tells us folk did so in the cities of the plain, but I cannot conceive how. Does it require magic? And… will it hurt?" He swallowed. "I love my Luke so dearly, and I could suffer any pain for him if 'tis needful, but 'twould pierce my heart to hurt him, and I know 'twould be the same for him."
"Scripture says a great many things. Much of which I find comfort in. Some of which I don't." He did not keep a copy of the Tanakh in his office, that would be far too inappropriate, but he had several at home. Ant paused, not sure if Will wanted to discuss religion and ethics at this time. The young man's reaction to his revelation about his family was not unexpected or unkind. Ant was used to having to explain himself, even if he hated to do so.
"There are spells––" Ant started and then shook his head. "No, let me start at the beginning. First, listen to your body. If something seems off or wrong, it probably is. Sex is not just the act of intercourse, but a series of intimate physical and emotional moments shared with others." Something told him to leave masturbation to another discussion altogether. Or maybe provide a pamphlet, but a simple pamphlet would mean he wasn't doing his duty as an educator of physical health.
"I would suggest that you and Luke take it slow, learning what arouses each of you." His mind flashed back to the first several months when Rani, Will, and he were learning all about one another. And how they still used that knowledge against him to this day. "And if or when you do decide upon anal sex, please use personal lubricant. And if you think you have used too much, add more."
Will listened as carefully as he'd ever listened to anything in his life, his mouth hanging open as he absorbed the new information. Healer Goldstein's calm, matter-of-fact tone went a long way toward cooling his blush, though that last note made him wrinkle his brow in puzzlement. "Aye, sir," he agreed, fully prepared to go slowly and to pay attention if anything seemed wrong, because that made sense in most situations, "but what is personal lubricant, and why does having too much mean that we must use more?" He raised an eyebrow in inquiry, and almost managed to get through his next question without blushing. "And -- and if we come together in that way after we are wed, which of us is the man and which takes the wife's part? I am the elder, but my Luke is taller and more broad, and he is much wiser. He goes to university," he added with great pride. "He is so far above me in all ways, and I cannot fathom why he loves me, but I thank God for it every day."
Ant's thoughts, though he couldn't help it, flashed to his own arrangements between him and his significant others. They'd certainly blurred the lines between traditionally assigned gender roles when it came to sexual intimacy, but they'd had the freedom to do so. Not everyone had that luxury. "Males do not produce the same sort––or quantity––of personal lubrication the way a female does. If you want to be safe and not run the risk of tearing or otherwise injuring yourself or Luke, I would suggest you are liberal with its use." He took a deep breath and reminded himself, he was there to educate, not to get on his proverbial soapbox to breakdown antiquated ideals.
"If you are asking about who is to be penetrated and who is doing the penetration, there is no right or wrong answer." Picking up his mug, Ant took a small sip to simply wet his mouth and to give his statement a moment to sink in. Just in case, he nudged his tin of biscuits in Will's direction. Biscuits, he found, were almost as good as chocolate in situations such as these. "Sometimes you might want to do one. Sometimes you might want to do the other. Sometimes both in the same night. Will," the healer put his mug of tea aside and reached out to lay a hand on the young man's arm, "have you spoken to Luke about any of this?"
Will looked down at the biscuits, which were called cookies here in the world, and took one with a murmured, "Thank you." He bit into it meditatively; his head was full of these new ideas Ant was putting into it, and it took him a moment to answer after he'd swallowed and followed it with a sip of his milky tea. "Nay," he answered, almost entirely blush-free this time. "We have agreed that when we are wed we will know one another as married folks do, but we have not spoken of -- of how. We kiss and hold each other, a-and one night we…" Will's cheeks flushed again at the remembered shame and mortification of it. "We were embracing and I could not stop from -- from spending," he admitted, very low, almost into his cup of tea. "Luke said 'twas normal for a man, but I could only think how wrong and shameful it was. When I was younger I sometimes had d-dreams that made me spend in the night, and I had many whippings for it, for it angered my grandfather greatly. I cannot conceive 'tis normal, sir. Do you consider Luke is right?"
"Luke is absolutely right." Ant's tone booked no room for argument. If he ever ran across Will's grandfather he would give the man a thorough hexing for his troubles. "Nocturnal emissions are a part of puberty, but isn't restricted to that particular time in a man's life." His head was spinning a little. He knew he was in a small minority when it came to his own education in his body and sexual health, but even when he compared it against what his friends had learned at their parents' knees, Will knew almost nothing. Less than nothing. Ant took a deep breath and thought about what his father might do in this situation.
"Would you like to come to dinner sometime, Will? Luke, of course, is invited." Ant could answer as many questions as Will had and would, gladly, but in his professional opinion, what this young man needed was a good meal surrounded by good people. Bolster his confidence a bit.
The answer made Will sigh, greatly relieved. Not that he had doubted that Luke knew what he was talking about, but he'd had a suspicion that his betrothed might have bent the truth a little to make him feel better, so having a healer's word for it was a burden lifted. The next question made him lift his eyes to meet Healer Goldstein's, surprised and grateful at the kindness of that offer. "Really?" he asked. "Sir, 'twould be an honor to meet your -- your family. But my Luke is in Chicago for some weeks yet, and 'tis not simple for him to come here, for…" He hesitated only a moment. "He has no magic. He is what your folk call a Squib." Will watched the healer's face to see what he thought about that. "But I could speak with him, and when he is back in this territory I consider he would be as pleased as I am by the offer." He smiled a little just thinking about how pleased Luke would be to meet the healer, how much they would have to talk about. "Aye, sir. I thank you."
"I think you can call me Ant, since we'll be breaking bread together." Pleased with this particular outcome, Ant leaned back in his chair. "And really, you would be doing me a great service. I grew up in a large family it has been added to over the years, but living out here has made me miss the loud rambunctious Goldstein dinners."