Who: Chuck Brand and Kent Brightstar (and Anthony Goldstein!) What: Billywig Emergency! When: Thursday, July 11, 2019 | Morning Where: Medical, and then one of the Habitats Warnings: Language (it's Kent), Injuries-by-Creature (CW: Blood), Mood-Altering (natural) Substances, Innuendo (so much innuendo)
Kent was really starting to dread his phone going off.
His night had been chaotic—this was one of those times when being the on call person meant staying the night and getting zero downtime—and his morning was no better. Most things had been harmless, but ever since Felix's memo had gone out the day before everyone had taken it upon themselves to call in every single weird thing that their charges had done with the fear that it had something to do with whatever crisis was going on in herbology. Still, this was his job, and every single request had to be answered, even if nearly every single request had turned out to be the most inane, mundane, or easily explained thing on the damned planet. With a sigh, he read the text alert.
8:47 AM BLWG HAB STAT
It was from the department head, which boded oh so well. He started to grab his go-bag when he checked the message again and found it had been sent to Chuck as well. At least he'd have company. Shouldering the bag, he walked to her office to see if she'd left yet. Or was even there. Kent may have been tired, but at least he was with it enough to think about knocking first. He did so and poked his head around her slightly open door. "You around?"
Fortunately for Chuck she'd had the benefit of a good night's sleep. Not that it meant much for someone who wasn't much of a morning person. In fact on days off Lennox would be hard pressed to get her out of bed before this hour. Still she wasn't about to let it affect her doing her job — at least it was a rare morning where the first thing on her plate was having to go through paperwork. Chuck was just checking her calendar schedule to double-check on when her next round of checkups were due when she heard her phone buzz.
It was as she was adding a few items, and a couple extra just in case, that she'd forgotten to replace at the end of yesterday that she heard Kent. "Yeah. I was just getting my bag before heading out," she answered, before closing the bag and shouldering it. "So think this call out will turn out to actually be something?"
Stepping away from the door and waiting for her, Kent pulled up his phone and double checked the memo and the map of the affected areas to determine if they were going to have to make a trek. Fortunately, the closest one wasn't close and all, and the closest apparating point to the habitat was a fraction even of that. He showed his findings to Chuck as he said, "On the one hand, I feel like it's tempting fate to say that it'll be nothing, but, on the other, what kind of monster does it make me if I'm also kind of hoping that it is something? Something would at least make my sleepless night seem fucking worth it."
As an afterthought, he grumbled, "There's not enough coffee in the universe for this shit."
After locking the door behind her, she got out her wand and tapped it against the nameplate on the door — a quick and simple spell putting a notice up saying she was out on call, and could be reached on her phone. Chuck couldn't help but groan slightly when she glanced at the phone. It would be really handy if there more apparating points but too many of them close together didn't seem to agree with the Reserve's wards in general, and so the ones that were available were as strategically placed as they could be. "I know what you mean. I get that it's our job, and I don't mind it... much, but I can't lie and it would be 'good', tempting fate or no, if we actually got called out to something that didn't y'know turn out to be nothing." She very kindly, and conveniently, neglected to mention the fact she'd had a decent night's sleep as she didn't think Kent would be appreciative of that little fact at all.
"No kidding," she said agreeing with him. "It's not helpful right now but coffee's on me afterwards — and I don't mean the stuff in the breakroom." The latter was accompanied by a look that clearly described her feelings on the coffee that was available in the medical department's breakroom.
Flashing her a tiny smirk, Kent took the turn to correct spot without incident, with Chuck only a second or two behind him. They walked a short distance toward the habitat, but were stopped a good ways away from the enclosure itself by a clutch of handlers and researchers. The glow of a couple of shield spells was visible from where they were, and Kent's low-key apprehension grew into full-blown concern. On their approach, the division head broke off and quickly explained that they had observed some odd behavior earlier from one of the colonies, in that the billywigs had simply stopped what they were doing, whatever they were doing, even if they'd been flying around. It was like they'd simply frozen.
The area had been checked for more of the errant magic and toxicity that Felix had reported in his memo, but there was no signs of it. "But that's not the weirdest part," the older man said. "We were about to call you when all of a sudden, another colony showed up, and then another, and another. The way we've been able to reckon, all of the Reserve's population is here now. And, well, they started...moving."
Kent started to ask what he meant, but an area around the shielding had just opened up and he was able to see exactly what the guy was talking about. The swarm was moving in a Möbius strip, blue bodies and flashes of iridescent wings folding in and in and in on themselves in a pattern that was in no way natural—even for magic.
Staring, Kent said the one thing that was probably on the minds of all those assembled: "What the fuck?"
Despite having seen yesterday's memo, warning bells still sounded in her head the moment Chuck had spotted the handlers and researchers a ways away from the enclosure. A frown formed on her face as the elder wizard explained the situation. It didn't make any sense, and certainly wasn't in-line with the billywigs' nature at all—even when ill billywigs weren't exactly known for stopping mid-flight. Chuck stepped around Kent to observe herself, and the words were on the tip of her tongue the moment she heard Kent speaking them.
"That's... definitely not natural," she commented a moment later with a slightly stunned look. It was also stating the obvious but what else could one say about seeing the entire Reserve's population of billywigs acting like some kind of, and completely bizarre, Möbius strip. Chuck shook her head when she felt herself starting to be almost mesmerised by the sight. They had a job to do after all.
Turning to the division head she asked, "Were there any signs in their behaviour for the last couple of days to suggest something might happen? Or is this really as unexpected as it is?"
While the wizard shook his head and answered Chuck, Kent listened and started to edge around the perimeter. He cast a couple of standard detection spells around the area, but nothing happened. "We had long enough to observe the situation that I had the handler and researchers review their notes for the last few days," the man told her with a sigh. "There's been no change in their patterns whatsoever. This literally just started this morning."
Kent frowned. It wasn't whatever the herbologists were dealing with; that much had already been explained. Something from the ball snagged his memory, but it was wobbly around the edges. This is wrong. "What about the warding in the area? Maybe not just here, but surrounding the habitat itself."
Chuck cast a quick approving glance at Kent's minor investigation before turning her attention back to division head. She didn't know William Biggs all that well since she was rarely, if ever, called out to look at the billywigs beyond their annual physical (as much as one could give swarms of insects a physical) but he didn't appear to be leaving anything out from what he knew to be currently going on. Hoping the researchers knew their stuff, she held off on requesting the notes for now but would likely do so later so she could pour over them herself to make sure nothing had been missed. She meandered over to one of the researchers to discuss what they'd found so far.
"We had a preliminary look at the wards a few moments before you both arrived but nothing appeared out of the ordinary that we could find," he answered scratching at his head. Nothing like this had happened at the reserve before, and he honestly didn't know why it would start now of all times even with the current issues that were occurring. "Still we sent a couple of our people out to look at a couple of the points on the farther sides of the habitat but nothing seemed out of place there either so we didn't really investigate any further."
Another dead end. Great. Sighing, Kent rubbed his hand down his face and grimaced at the shield and the rolling movement within. None of the insects were breaking formation. "Get security out here to double check those wards. Ask for Thorne specifically." He drew in a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "I can't get any diagnostic spells to work right with these shields in place. I need you to take them down just for a few moments."
Biggs didn't look terribly happy about this, but he turned to a couple of the handlers with orders to do as the doctor had requested (even if it had sounded way more like a demand—oops). The tension ratcheted up to a level that made a muscle in Kent's jaw jump. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the older wizard nod at the two witches who'd been maintaining the shields. In a wink, they were down, and the area was instantly filled with a high pitched buzzing that had his ears aching in seconds. He winced, but stayed perfectly still.
The billywigs never stopped, and Kent felt like maybe he could breathe a little easier. That didn't mean he wasn't cautious as he started casting again.
Chuck's conversation with the researchers didn't bring up anything beyond what Biggs had already informed them of, but they were happy enough, albeit somewhat reluctant, to pass copies of their notes on to her later. It wasn't easy trying to maintain composure when all she wanted to do was fold in on herself at the sound assaulting her ears. It was bad enough putting up with her own tinnitus at the best of times without anything making it worse.
With the billywigs still in their strange moebius-like formation, it didn't seem as if anything had changed at first the moment the shielding spells were dropped. Though Kent's nature made it a little difficult to get along with him at times, Chuck fully trusted his abilities when it came to caring for the creatures of the reserve, and was why she had no complaints in him taking charge on the diagnostic front for the time being. Though keeping still so as not to disturb the billywigs started to prove a little difficult when she felt a sting against her arm. The second happened just as quick that she still hadn't even noticed a change in the formation—a little unsurprising considering the entire population currently made up the entirety of it.
"Ow... damnit," she muttered as another stung her. However, what little annoyance and concern she felt was masked by the giggles that followed. Carefully getting out her wand, she turned to Kent, and winced as she felt another sting on her neck this time. "If you've got... any... bright... ideas..." It was near on torturous trying to be serious when you were feeling as giddy as a kid in a candy store. "All that's missing... is fairy dust," she giggled, as she realised she'd just started hovering off the ground.
For a second, Kent merely stared at her nonplussed. In the next, he was grinning, and a laugh bubbled out of him. He was standing in a veritable cloud of billywigs, and was completely unconcerned about the nightmarish quality of his current existence. Red welts were coming up all over his exposed skin. The two witches were quick to erect the shielding again, but had to trap the two healers inside so that the rest of the assembled group wouldn't be overwhelmed. He could barely get the words out through his own giggles, but reached out to grab Chuck's wrist to try to keep her grounded. "We're totally gonna fucking die if we can't get out of this pretty much five minutes ago."
It was getting hard to think in any kind of linear fashion. Kent held his stomach, almost doubled over with uncontrollable laughter. "I can't… can't spells. Use spells, I mean. Can't think straight enough to concentrate. Can you… can you use a freezing spell or something else? I don't wanna hurt these little guys. Maybe we can introduce an airborne tranquilizer into the air. Let's all get sooooo baked!"
If it wasn't for nearly floating off the ground, or Kent holding onto her wrist, Chuck would've done her best to collapse on the ground in laughter. No matter how serious she wanted to be, every time she went to open her mouth she'd just start laughing away. It was beyond annoying. And yet she didn't care one bit about that, or the angry red welts cropping up where the billywigs had stung her. Chuck snorted with laughter. "No kidding. I know I'm bubbly but this is a nightmare."
"Right. I didn't want to do that either. Not their fault," she said, and yet laughed despite the seriousness of the situation. "I can try, but it's so hard... keeping still. Why is that so funny? It's a good idea, but can't stop laughing." One of them had to try something before the possibility of one of them having an allergic reaction became a reality. Thankfully she hadn't yet dropped her wand, and keeping a careful hold on it (and attempting the same with the laughter) raised her wand and as steadily as she could cast Immobulus in the billywigs' direction.
Chuck couldn't tell if it worked or not because the moment she relaxed she just started laughing giddily again. "Did it work?" she asked in between giggles. "Or are we still royally screwed?"
Something trickled into Kent's eyes, and his forehead and right cheek were starting to burn. It should have been alarming, but all of this was the most hilarious thing that had ever happened to him. He kept a hold of Chuck's wrist as she cast and tried to wipe at whatever was on his face. A flash of red on his hand could be seen through the cloud of insects, but it didn't bother him in the slightest. The buzz was deafening, and then suddenly it wasn't. The swarm hung suspended all around them. His ears still felt like they were filled with cotton, so maybe he could be forgiven a little for yelling, "No need to mince words here! We're well and truly fucked without dinner at this point!"
Someone dropped the shields and bodily guided them both out. Kent felt, well, buoyant as they went, his feet barely touching the ground. "It's like we're on the moon! Chuck! Chuuuuuck, we're terrestrianauts!"
An attempt at keeping a straight face lasted all of a second before Chuck was nearly doubled-over laughing at what Kent had said. Given the assault on their ears Chuck didn't even mind the yelling since it all sounded perfectly normal to her. "Utterly and completely fucked," she agreed, giggling as if it was the funniest thing that had ever been said.
Chuck whooped with unbridled glee. "That's not a real word... but I love it! I love that word! Oh my god. Kent! Keeeent! What do you think would happen if we tried jumping really high?" Chuck then tried really super hard to get her feet to the ground so she could try out her amazingly fantastic idea but her feet didn't seem to agree. It didn't take long for someone to notice her attempts and take hold of her other wrist before she could try and leave.
Chuck was pouting when she turned her attention back to Kent and gasped—which sounded more like a gasp of delight than shock thanks to the unnatural giddiness. "You've got cuts and blood on your forehead," she giggled. "I'm sorry that's really really not funny at all."
"I mean, theoretically scars are sexy. At least I hope CateandTony think so. I'm so lucky they love me. Even when this kind of shit keeps happening to me." He wasn't sure who had his arm, but someone was keeping him from establishing low orbit. This seemed like a wise course of action, even if it was a little disappointing. He really thought he might be onto something with this Earth-bound cosmonaut thing. It was difficult for him to focus on any one thing at a time, but a couple of their coworkers were taking them away from the scene. One thought stuck out, though, and he shouted gleefully over his shoulder, "Someone check the goddamn wards!"
Since that was a job well done, he gave Chuck a nod and another grin. At his coworkers' prompting, he bounced his way into the closest building. The levitation was so bad at this point that he literally had to crawl through the top of the doorway. After that, he just kind of pulled his way along the ceiling. "We should get back to medical, but you know we'd totally splinch ourselves at this point. In the grand scheme of things, it would just kind of fit, y'know? Okay, but I really wanna know what the fuck is happening to my Reserve before it blows up, please and thank you."
The words should have been angry, but they were so cheerfully delivered that it sounded totally opposite.
That made her wonder if Lennox would think the same. She wasn't so sure cause red welts were not very sexy at all. On the other hand Lennox might kiss her better a whole lot, and that was always fun. Chuck was having just as much trouble focusing with the way her thoughts flitted from one subject to another in quick succession. "Why don't they make doorways tall enough? They should be taller. Don't you think?" She babbled on as she clambered her way through the door after Kent.
"We definitely should. I feel totally great but we should definitely get checked out before either of us has some kind of allergic reaction. I kind of hope they're able to stop the floating even though it's fun I don't think having sex with Lennox would be much fun if I'm floating." Chuck wasn't sure why she just told Kent that, and she knew she ought to care (and she did) but it seemed so funny at the same time that it wasn't. Though she just as quickly zoned in on the other thing Kent had said. She knew "Oh, like one bad thing after. I really hope it doesn't go on and on because I like working here at the Reserve. Do you really think somebody messed with the wards? Why would they do that?"
"This leads me to believe that you guys have never done it on a broom, which leads me to one very important question: what's the point in dating a Quidditch player if he's not even gonna let you handle his broom?" Kent was able to hang onto a more or less disappointed look for all of five seconds before devolving into snorts of laughter. This progressed to wheezing giggles, and he had quite the time of both hanging onto the ceiling and his stomach as nigh-hysteria took over.
Chuck's question about the wards and the Reserve were well and truly forgotten.
"Judging by the question, you've never had broom sex. It's fucking terrifying." Thorne stepped through the internal floo system just in time to hear Kent's question. It wasn't used much these days, but there was a hiccup in getting his apparition credentials reactivated and he had no intention on walking to the Billywig Habitat. He sneezed, thanks to the floo dust, and pointed at the nearest person who wasn't high––literally. "You. What's going on?"
Chuck might've been more annoyed at the insinuation if she weren't still laughing at every little thing. Especially watching Kent as he became a laughing mess. "And awkward," she managed to add on to Thorne's comment before losing it again.
The young woman gave him a summary. Weird creature behavior, which called for the summoning of the creature healers. Once they arrived, Brightstar summoned Thorne specifically and then went got himself fucking stung up like a teenager dabbling for the first time. Thorne made a mental note to mock Brightstar later, but it sounded like he needed to take a look at the ward, which certainly beat the paperwork that had been his foreseeable future when he came in that morning.
"Right. To the wards. You might want to get these two looked at." He jerked his head over to where the pair of healers floated up towards the ceiling. "You really don't want Medical to meltdown. They're breaking in a new guy."
The amount of time spent laughing and repeating the phrase fucking terrifying to himself was definitely disproportionate to the situation. But Thorne's arrival had also prompted Kent to wave merrily at him from his rather reclined position against the ceiling. "Thoooorne," he sing-songed the wizard's name, "I said they were wrong, and now something's fucking with the creatures. And I told them to ask for you. 'Cause of the gala. You probably thought I forgot, but I really didn't. I don't forget things. Unless I'm made to. And then it fucks with me." He collapsed into more giggles, tears forming in his eyes. "My wards are broken too!"
Thorne looked up at Brightstar from his spot by the external door. "You're literally high as a fucking kite, Brightstar. But when you're not maybe we should talk about your wards." And see if he could get in contact with the only Brightstar sibling not currently stationed in Snowcap. But that problem was best saved for future-Thorne. Right now he had some wards to look at and potentially play with.
Just shy of ninety seconds later, the floo burst into life again and another man stepped through. "Blimey. You lot just throw a bloke into the deep end, don't you?" Anthony Goldstein had been a member of staff for less than twenty-four hours, barely enough time to put out family pictures and get his chair to the perfect height, before he was called out onsite for a two potential Billywig poisonings. "Healer Anthony Goldstein, but you can call me Ant. Or really, whatever you'd like as long as it's not an insult."
If she'd been capable of being sensible Chuck may have just picked a spot on the ceiling to lay against instead of trying to swim her way around the room. Hearing someone else coming through the floo she turned her head—which might've been helpful if she hadn't been upside down at the time as such what she saw only made her giggle more. Chuck managed to wave at the wizard even as she trtied to think of why the family name sounded familiar.
He set his beat up bag onto a nearby table and pulled out his wand. "Before we start, are either of you on any potions or have any allergies? I don't want to accidentally cause complications because we didn't take at least a cursory history." Because he wasn't speaking from experience or anything.
"Aw, fuck, he's nice," Kent grumbled—or would have grumbled if he wasn't too busy smiling at medical's newest addition.
"Yes, yes I am." Ant grinned sunnily up at the man. Kent Brightstar, his mind supplied. People had tried to warn him about the man, but Ant had faced Death Eaters. A grumpy healer was the least of his problems. "But for the record, if you swear in my office then you're going to owe one of your lion coins."
"Well, shit." Kent laughed. "I'll just give you my banking info now, get you a direct line."
Chuck couldn't help but point and laugh at Kent when Ant mentioned a swear jar. Now that really was funny if you knew Kent at all well; and if she'd been close enough to him, and not so giddy, then Chuck might've swatted him on the arm and told him to be nice back or at least be civil. Ignoring Kent's comments in an attempt to try and answer Ant's earlier question she turned the right way up and looked at Ant. "Contraceptive potions count, right?" Okay it really wasn't very easy trying to ask serious questions, or keeping a straight face for more than a second, when anything and everything kept making you laugh.
"That's why it's my office only or if my daughter's about, but don't worry, you get used to it. My Rani did after a time." But that was a story for another time. Ant turned his attention to the female healer. Charlotte Brand as she wasn't blonde. "They absolutely count, but they're generally non-reactive."
Casting the standard set of diagnostic charms on both his patients, Ant made note to reach out to his niece to get some recommendations on journals for creature related injuries. It paid to keep on top of the latest research. "Right. Basic antidote to common poisons for the both of you. That should help purge some of the giggle juice from your systems. We can move on from there, alright?"
"Gods, yes," Chuck laughed. "I would really like to be able to act and speak how I actually feel—even though I feel absolutely great—without giggling all the time. And the floating, even if that's fun too."
With an airy wave of his hand—one that lasted a bit too long as his gaze caught on the motion, which reminded him of being high as fuck at the masquerade, which, in turn, made him laugh even harder—Kent shrugged through his renewed laughter. "This is the second time you've mentioned sexual or sex-adjacent situations, Chuck. At this point, I'm pretty sure you're fixated." Kent turned his grin on Ant. "Hey, what's your stance on bad ass scars? 'Cause I'm really on the fence here. Like, on the one hand, CateandTony might find them really hot, but on the other I think I also pretty much don't wanna. How much street cred can one get with having survived an attack by poor little fucked up billywigs?"
With considerable effort, he bit back another wave of giggles. There was something important he needed to convey, and this constant euphoria wasn't helping matters. "In my office! I've been working on wing reconstructions. For study reasons, idek"—he actually spelled it out—"but you can use bits of it like a vaccine. Use the shit that affecting us to counteract the shit that's affecting us. It makes sense for science reasons."
The unnatural giddiness the pair had meant that when Chuck flipped Kent off for his comment it didn't quite have the desired effect. After all you couldn't project seriousness when you were incapable of actually taking anything seriously at the moment. "I don't think there's chance of getting or keeping any street cred if you admit to surviving an attack of billywigs," she giggled. "It's not exactly awe inspiring. It's about as funny as we're finding everything right now."
Chuck blinked. Then squinted at Kent wondering if she'd even heard right. "Oh Merlin, did you seriously just spell out the shorthand for 'I don't even know'?" Then she promptly burst out laughing again. "Oh, that's the best thing ever! Except for the wing reconstructions because that does actually sound fascinating."
"Sexual relations are a normal and healthy part of human behavior and nothing to be ashamed of," Ant chriped he measured out a dose for each of his patients and floated them up to the pair. "Right them, swallow that if you will and we'll see about looking at those notes in your office, okay?" With the air of a practiced healer, or maybe a parent used to the babbling of a child, he continued to go about his duty, lining up any potions that he may need should the situation escalate.
Chuck very maturely stuck her tongue out at Kent before giggling again. And she didn't need to be told twice to take a potion that would bring her back to being her normal, capable of rational thought without giggling, self. A couple moments after downing the potion she started making a face. "Bleh. Why hasn't someone discovered a way to make potions taste in a way other than something completely disgusting?" She blinked in surprise when the sensible question hadn't been followed by a round of laughter. Although her feet didn't yet seem to be any closer to the ground just yet.
"I don't know about the scars, I guess it depends. I've found that whenever I may be liable to get a scar I tend to get grumbled at. So your CateandTony might not be terribly pleased if you end up with a scar. We don't want that to happen, do we?" He gestured to the potion. "Drink up, please."
"I'm not fucking five," Kent said around laughter, and tossed it back whilst holding his nose. Chuck was right. The shit was rank, and that was the only way he could choke it down.
For a second, nothing happened, and he shrugged. In the next, however, gravity reasserted itself with a vengeance, and Kent hit the ground so abruptly and so hard that he actually bounced. His nose stung from the impact, and his lip and chin was soon awash with fresh blood. Rather than offense or even anger, however, Kent erupted into another round of absurd giggles. That was one problem down, but not the other.
"Of course not." Ant's voice was breezy as he looked up at the still-floating Chuck. At least she was no longer giggling hysterically. He was in the midst of debating the pros and cons of using a Strengthening Solution versus Deflating Draught when the sound of Kent crashing to the floor and blood pouring out of his nose happened. "Oh dear."
A few flicks of his wand ceased the flow of blood and conjured an ice pack. "Hold this to your face. It will help with the swelling." He'd give something to the magizoological healer soon enough, but he wanted to address the Billywig poisoning first.
Chuck winced in sympathy the moment Kent crashed to the floor, and grimaced when she caught sight of the blood. Suddenly her annoyance at not having got her feet back on terra firma had disappeared. Sure, she wanted the floating to stop but she'd rather it not end with her face greeting the floor so enthusiastically. She raised a hand. "Um just wanting it noted I'm all for not greeting the ground again so hard?"
Kent flopped onto his back, chest still shaking with mirth even as he gingerly placed the ice pack on his smarting nose. On some level, he knew he should be upset, that he'd been altered yet again, but all he felt was this ridiculous font of giddiness that welled up from deep inside him. Was this proof of some deep rooted optimism, or just a magical chemical imbalance? "Pffft, you've got a warning now, and we can cast cushioning spells. We got you, girl. You'd land on a fucking pillow. You're welcome."
Chuck rolled her eyes. "Yes, thank you. I realised that." It was kind of funny that he was being his usual grumpy self but with the effects of the billywig stings it just didn't quite have the same desired effect it usually did. Which honestly was just weird because she was so well used to the normally grumpy Kent that this just felt all kinds of unnatural—not that Kent didn't have his moments of pleasantness but they generally felt a whole lot more like Kent than what this did.
"I'm thinking that coffee I said I'd buy is going to have to wait until tomorrow now," she commented. "After the stings and potions I'm pretty sure doping ourselves with caffeine is not the way to go."
"Aw," Kent somehow pouted with a grin, "but coffee."
"Tomorrow," she responded, trying not to smirk or laugh at the expression on his face just now. "And it'll be good proper coffee and not the sludge found in the breakroom."
Nobody had informed him that his coworkers would be this amusing. He was going to have to thank Anna and David for the recommendation to apply for the temporary vacancy. "Wait until tomorrow," he advised, "or I'm going to have to officially suggest that you stick to decaf for at least the next forty-eight to seventy-two hours." Casting a charm specifically to get blood out of clothing on Kent, Ant finally decided on the Deflating Draught for Chuck.
"I'm going to give you a small dosage to start, Chuck, but as promised, cushioning charms as well.."
Chuck made a face that told absolutely everything about her feelings when it came to the possibility of sticking to just decaf for a couple of days. No matter what any decaf advocate said it just didn't taste the same at all. "Great!" Taking the proffered draught she held her nose as she tipped the potion into her mouth grimacing at the taste as she swallowed. "Gah... that's awful," she muttered.
At first nothing seemed to even happen as she stayed floating up near the ceiling. However, she suddenly dropped before coming to a halting stop that caused her to flail and end up on her back. It hadn't been the cushioning charms that had stopped her—thankfully she hadn't face-planted either. Doing a slight maneuver she turned herself around and found that she was still about a foot or so off of the floor. "Well, at least I didn't crash land — so count that as a win?" she commented. "So... wait and see if I make it the rest of the way to the ground?"
Still lying on his back next to the new guy, Kent was in no real hurry to move. He may have been earth-bound again, but something inside him still felt oddly buoyant. As he debated how fiercely he wanted to argue in favor of his ability to drink caffeine within 24 hours, he watched Chuck's rapid (but slightly more controlled) descent with an openly amused grin. "9.5 at best. Nice dismount, but points deducted for a failure to stick the landing." He rolled his gaze back to Ant. "Can we get to medical now? I've decided that scars suck and look best on bikers and prize fighters. As I am neither, I would really like to go back to being a Ten. Or maybe a Seven. Eye of the beholder and all. I'm no sexy Quidditch player who refuses to do broom sex, which is so lame. Chuck, you seriously need to call your boyfriend on that shit. Laaaaaame-sauce."
"Ha ha," she drawled. Despite not floating so high now her balance was still iffy that it took some effort trying to stay vertically upright, and not actually ending up upside or in a more horizontal position—which now that she was only a foot or so off the ground wouldn't be nearly so fun. "That scoring is definitely subjective," she commented. Chuck rolled her eyes as Kent mentioned the broom sex again. "Starting to think you're a little fixated on that despite the fact I made just one off-hand, and very general, comment about sex. Also, for the record, no matter how much you keep mentioning it it's not going to increase the chances of me either confirming or denying what Lennox and I get up to."
A look of utter delight filled his face, and Kent chirped, "Birthday sex! I mean, for next time. Or maybe Christmas. Nah, that's way too long. Labor Day sex! I'm just sayin', ask him for something crazy. You never know. CateandTony tied me up and called me a good b—"
And suddenly he wasn't saying anything. In fact, there was no sound coming from him at all, despite the fact that he was clearly laughing again. Someone had saved him from himself and cast a silencing charm on the poor poisoned doctor.
Chuck blinked and momentarily wondered if this was at all what Kent was like when he was drunk because the guy sure could rabbit on, and say a whole lot of stuff he probably shouldn't be saying. Then suddenly he just stopped, or rather he was just no longer making any sound—and boy it was a weird sight to see Kent laughing but not making even the slightest bit of sound.
It had been Ant who had cast the spell. He didn’t know Kent Brighstar all that well, or at all really, but he’d been on the end of some accidental overshares as a result of some healing related incident. One not unlike Kent’s, actually, only there were family members involved instead of coworkers and no one had shut him up soon enough. So really it was a small mercy.
He turned to look at Chuck. “I promise never to mention this incident if you do. I have no intention of making an enemy of any of my coworkers.” He already knew the situation enough that he was filling-in for a very good, and popular healer, which wasn’t going to make him very many friends. Snowcap and Brighstar Reserve were small communities. He needed all the allies he could get. “How about another half-dose of Deflating Draught? I have Lemon Sherberts in my bag for the aftertaste.” No, Ant was not above bribing individuals when the situation might call for it.
Turning to Ant, because she knew she hadn't cast anything, she smiled gratefully. "I definitely won't be mentioning any of this," she stated. Well, she might comment a little about it to Lennox but for the most part she was definitely going to stay quiet about what had been said. "With an offer like that, I don't think I could refuse — especially if it gets my feet back on solid ground."
After taking and drinking the draught—which most certainly didn't taste any better on subsequent consumptions— she grimaced a little before taking the proffered candy from Ant. Chuck looked down and grinned the moment she felt her feet touch the ground, and bounced on her heels a little. "Oh, that's so much better. Thanks," she said. Turning her attention to Kent, she was a little concerned that—though he had definitely stopped floating—he was still very much unnaturally giddy. "He's going to be alright isn't he? Cause him being this giddy is... weird."
Glad that he had gotten one patient taken care off, Ant turned his attention to the other. “He wouldn’t be the first person to over indulge on Billywig stings, even if this was not for recreational use.” A few years back they’d been popular with the upper years at Hogwarts when he’d filled in for the medic. “He will eventually crash and need some pepper up to give him some stability.” Ant felt a little bad for the man, but it looked liked some of the welts were fading and there didn’t seem to be an allergic reaction of any kind. “But he expressed an interest in going back to Medical and it wouldn’t be a bad idea for him to be in for observation for the night. We can even let him do some paperwork if that would make him happy.” Or less prone to arguing.
See, bribery wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
Kent made an expressive gesture to indicate that he was still lying right there, thank you very much, and then very happily flipped the visiting healer off at the mention of paperwork. Like hell was he even remotely touching any of that while he was high out of his mind. Again. With a silent laugh, he wondered how it was statistically possible that all this shit kept happening to him.