Seeing the woman he'd felt one of the only soul-deep, non-romantic connections with—outside of his third ex-wife—after nearly twenty-five years had been a shock, to say the least. But there had been no time for questions, not really. Joe was still lingering outside, and there was something in the way that Alex had been stroking Thorne's hair that had given Njall significant pause, had made him suggest that she come back later, when the hubbub was a little less pronounced. It was 'later' now, and he sat in his office, trying to avoid thinking about the insanity of the evening by keeping his eye on Thorne's monitors and attempting to update a few of his digital records. They were notes for Mateo; even if those particular patients no longer wanted him as their healer, it didn't mean he was going to stop making sure they had the best care they possibly could get.
It was only partially working. His mind just went back to that rush of control, to the stake sticking out of Thorne's shoulder, to his profound regret in having to leave Felix alone at the party—and feeling like an ass for being gone for so long before he was able to text his date—and not getting one more dance, to Alex's impossible face and her impossible smile. She looked absolutely the same. There were no glamours on earth that he knew of that could do that, but apparently, she'd found something. Njall's thoughts had touched on her over the years, little more than nebulous remembrances and wondering how she was, but he never really imagined he would see her again.
"Looking a little lost in thought there, Doc."
The woman had found her way through the med ward to his office after a time, figuring he needed to finish off whatever needed when it came to Thorne and his injury. There was a lot to go over, she was sure, but she had honestly never understood all the medical stuff. She was as clueless in that as anyone else likely was. Except for doctors, of course. Except for Njall.
To be honest, when she came to Snowcap, she had only intended to track down the twins. Happening upon Njall here as well? It seemed fate to find her three favorite men in the universe here in one spot. Together. Maybe that meant things were looking up for her. And finding that she wasn't the only one who looked the same was definitely an interesting point. Something that she wanted to talk to him about, if he was willing, since she couldn't exactly be with her son.
Having a stranger in a room where someone was just attacked was not something security was letting happen.
Now, she was leaning against the frame of his door, looking down at him as he worked on something on his computer. She was still in her dress, having not wanted to leave to go home and not be allowed back on the property. Her mask and shoes hung from her hand, but other than that, she looked much the same as she had when she'd slipped her mask off earlier. No glamours. A little make-up. Her hair was a little looser with tendrils falling down around her face. But she was very much Alex Spencer. And she was standing there looking at the closest friend she'd had in twenty-five years. My... how time flew.
He looked up at her, and a smile lit up his face, almost banishing the tired shadows that had gathered there. Her hair was different, but she was still Alex. Njall was out of his chair and around his desk and to where she was standing in his door before he was even conscious of making the decision to move. There was a moment of very scant hesitation right before he pulled her into a tight hug, and, god, if that didn't bring back a flood of memories. All he could manage in that moment was a slightly choked, "holy shit."
There was that smile she'd missed all these years. She'd seen it so very often when she'd been eighteen that it was one of the first things that began to flicker throughout her memories whenever the others began to wear off. And now, here she was, seeing it in person once again after so long. It was definitely something she appreciated.
His hesitation could be understood, really. It had been twenty-five years, after all. But Alex was more than glad when the other man wrapped his arms around her so tightly and hugged her to him. Her own arms wrapped around him just as tight, water prickling at her eyes as she breathed in that familiar scent. She'd missed him so very much.
'Holy shit' was absolutely right.
He stayed like that for several long moments, hugging this blast from the past. Njall found himself caught up in a swirl of memories: of nights spent on his couch while his wife was away on some conference trip or another (or possibly seeing some lover she'd had at the time, his mind supplied bitterly and possibly unfairly) talking until the sun began to brighten the sky outside; of lunches and dinners and breakfasts; of movie nights and having her curled up against his side where they had mock serious discussions about the utter lack of chemistry with the romantic leads; of all the times spent with one another with an ease that had been hard to find with much of anyone else in the intervening years, with a few exceptions.
Finally, though, he pulled himself back a short distance and took her hands. With a gentle tug, he led them to his office couch and sat down. Njall couldn't stop smiling at her. "Tell me everything."
Whenever Njall pulled back, Alex felt a small chill. Almost like letting go of something important. Or, well... that was exactly what she'd just done, wasn't it? Just in the physical sense. She couldn't help but shake her head slowly, still smiling, as she reached up to run her fingers through his hair at his temple. "You've grown it out. It looks good on you, Doc." She'd always been admirable of his profession, or his look. It was almost effortless, the way he could pull off different ones.
Of course, then he was asking about what happened. Maybe not in a direct way, but she knew, and the smile on her face dimmed a little bit. "Are you sure you want to know everything? It's not the prettiest story in the world." It had its good times for a little while, but it was still heavy. She was glad that he’d led her to the couch. It wasn’t the kind of conversation one wanted to have in the doorway of an office. “This could take awhile."
He still had her hands in his, and it was almost shockingly familiar, the way they felt, the ease in running his thumb across her knuckles in a soothing pattern. So, too, did his own smile reflect hers, turning a touch rueful. An old gesture from the wee hours had Njall leaning forward and briefly touching his forehead to Alex's before he pulled back again and watched her. This wasn't the time for comparisons, so he didn't want to point out the more unattractive qualities of his own storied past. Instead, he nodded toward her and gave her hands a squeeze. "I said what I meant: everything. I have time. I'm always gonna have time for you."
And so, with that comforting remembrance of the way they were with each other, Alex took a breath and began to unravel the mystery of the last twenty-five years. She told him everything. From when Orion took her to California and she felt horrible because she had to way to contact him. About Orion's jealousy but him leaving when she found out she was pregnant (even telling him that whole last month she spent with him in New York, she was pregnant and had no idea). She told him about working and trying to keep her head above water. About those who were kind to her. About the pickpocketing.
She told Njall about going into labor and being so terrified because she was so alone. About having twins. About being told that Rowan (who she had recently learned was named Clifford) had passed and how she'd tried to show Hawthorne all the love she could. The struggle to keep them both fed (which didn't always happen for her... but Thorne was always fed) and the potions it took to keep him feeling okay. Getting sick...
Everything got darker from there as she told him about the five years that she was held as nothing more than a feedbag for a group of insane vampires. She had to reach up and wipe at her eyes a little, remembering that. That and how they kept her alive by feeding her their own blood. How they told her they'd been the ones to take Rowan and that he was still alive. The way she lived their memories over and over again and it had clouded her own so effectively that she didn't remember who she really was for a long time.
The tale of the escape came next, along with returning to school and getting a degree in teaching. When she got to the part where a little boy told her he'd gotten poked by a thorn, she smiled softly. It had been that moment, that one word, that triggered her own memory return and led her here.
"And now here I am. Imagine my surprise when I found, not only my twins, but the only other person in the entire world who means nearly as much to me as they do."
Sitting there, Njall was struck dumb with horror and the crushing weight of a universe of what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. He never interrupted but had asked clarifying questions in one or two spots. His own tale of woe was so insignificant by comparison that it was almost laughable. "I wish," he started to say, but immediately cut himself off, because that was a path of conversation that wouldn't change a goddamn thing for either of them. At least the mystery of her agelessness was solved, even though it was the worst possible scenario imaginable, other than her being fully turned. His hands never left hers; the idea to stop touching her never, ever entered his brain. His eyes widened as the realization hit him all over again. "God, Alex. Thorne and Ford are your sons. I've treated both of your sons."
Squeezing his hands lightly, Alex smiled and sighed, nodding. "Yeah... me too." It was an unspoken thing, something that she could understand. She knew Njall would have been there for her if the two of them had been able to contact one another, but what happened happened and there was no changing that. Not really. Still, it felt nice to know that Njall would have helped if he could. Maybe if things had been different, things could have been different for all of them.
"You definitely would have been named Godfather to both of them," she chuckled, tucking a single strand of hair behind her ear. "And there is no one I would rather have looking over my twins than you. It's nice to know that they've been in good hands at least for a little while." She didn't know her boys' stories yet, but she hoped to find out soon. It would only be a matter of time and she was fairly certain it was not going to be an easy road to trek. She could be patient though. And now, she knew she wouldn't have to be alone through it all.
"Enough about me, though. Tell me about you. It's my turn to know everything."
He almost wanted to laugh it off, to dismiss the recounting of his paltry miseries as superfluous to her own, but Alex has opened herself up, like she had all the months of their too-brief friendship, and now Njall knew he had to do the same. He told her about the sad and quiet dissolution of his second marriage just months after she'd disappeared, and how he moved away from New York shortly thereafter, chasing a life that wasn't tied up in someone else's happiness. The face that he subsequently got married after that was something of a joke, and it was clear from how he framed this section that even he found it hilarious as he'd fallen right back into old romantic habits. Even funnier was the fact that the woman turned out to be a lesbian, but the fondness with which he spoke of her spoke volumes for the warmth he still felt for her. He'd been with two more quodpot teams since as a healer, but packed it in for the more sedate life of private practice in the midwest. All of that was great, and had led him easily to Snowcap and the Reserve, where he'd been for the last three years. He told her about meeting Nat again, reconnecting after scant encounters from his time in the professional sports healer world, and dating her. He also admitted up front that she was pregnant with his child—a girl—but that they weren't together anymore, and that he hadn't found out until almost three months after the fact due to the death of his mother.
This brought him to his own news, and he shifted uncomfortably as he told her about finding out the truth of his father. He left nothing out: the letters, his mom's diary, months spent in Iceland trying to unravel this madness only to come to one possible conclusion. He was part selkie. And then everything after, Nat's complications, meeting Felix and finding in him a surprising, but much needed support system, and the fact that they were now dating, and how he made him feel things that he hadn't even thought were possible anymore. And just how much he needed that in his life because of the things inside of him that he was only just now becoming aware of, and that had always been there, but he'd never had a name for it. Njall talked about the Registry and his ex-wife's public confrontation just a couple of weeks back, and how several of his patients had decided they didn't want him treating them anymore, and just how much that hurt, even if the only person he'd shared that with was Felix.
He glossed over the evening's events, because he wasn't yet ready to deal with them, but that brought her up to his present. To having her sit there, in front of him, and for just a second he could make believe that the intervening twenty-two years hadn't happened. "So, that's me. Half-selkie and about to be a dad. Forty-seven, and I still haven't figured out my life." His laugh was bitter. "Sounds about right, doesn't it?"
Alex listened attentively, her range of emotions showing on her face and in the way she touched him depending on where his story led. Everything he'd been through, the ups and downs of his love life and his personal life... she was so very glad that he'd found someone who understood him. That he was having the chance to become a father and raise a precious little girl. There was absolutely no doubt in her mind that he would make an amazing father and she told him that, the conviction in her voice proud and definite. "I didn't get to be a mom long before Thorne was taken, but I can tell you, being a parent is one of the hardest but most fulfilling things I've ever done in my life."
Of course, the bit about him finding out about his family, about the fact that he was a cross-being, a Half-Selkie, it was interesting to her. She wanted to know more about that, but it would be something she'd ask later. If he hadn't told her what he could do yet, it was either because he wasn't comfortable with it or he didn't know. Alex was almost sure he'd never really keep anything from her. Not unless he had to.
The part about his ex-wife's confrontation with him had her fuming. "Had I been there..." She left it at that though, because like before, there was no way to change that past. Still, had she been there, it was less likely that woman wouldn't have made it out of there without some kind of repercussion. Now that she'd regained all of her memories, she could recall that she'd defended Njall against whatever she felt she needed to... even Orion.
But in the end, here they sat. Together. And Alex could only think of one thing that could make it even remotely better. Still, she flashed that smile at him again and sighed, shaking her head at him. "You're doing something you love doing. You're in love with someone who treats you amazingly by what you describe. You're about to be a dad, Njall. I'm pretty sure you've got more things figured out about your life than you realize. And people who don't see how amazing you are just because you're half of something they don't understand are a bunch of idiots. Darwinism will wipe the lot of them out eventually and we will all be the better for it. Don't ever doubt how amazing you are. I'm pretty sure I would have gone stark raving mad if I hadn't had you as a best friend and I couldn’t imagine having anyone better treating my kids."
There was that word again, love, brought up for the second time in a week's time. He wanted to argue against it, but the words wouldn't come. Was it because it wasn't true, or just because he didn't want it to not be true? That was something to consider another day, one that didn't contain the impossibility of the last several hours in it. He'd never let go of her hands, and now he used them to pull her closer, into his arms. His fingers combed through the ends of her hair, dark now but still that same soft texture. Two decades, and so much of this was just as familiar as it was back then. He folded himself around her, head tucked against the side of her neck. "I tried to find you, but you were just gone," he murmured. "I missed you."
It was easy to wrap around him like she used to, to tuck herself into the safety of his arms and his body and to just be. After everything, knowing that that hadn't changed, it was so much more comforting than she could have ever hoped it would be. "I went back," she told him, the words spoken against his skin, "Even before I could remember everything, I went back to New York because I knew there was something else missing. And the last time I had it was there. You were missing, Njall. I was looking for you." And then after that, whenever the memory of her sons literally put her on her ass, she'd come here and found all three of them. Fate had favored her. Luck had worked with her. She didn't know who to thank, so silently, she thanked everyone and everything for putting her on this path.
His eyes stung, but he managed to hold back tears. Njall only leaned far enough back to plant a firm kiss against her forehead, before pulling her back again, even more tightly. "You're giving me your number before you leave my office," he demanded with a laugh. "And, look, I obviously can't promise you anything from them, but since I know them both, I'd be happy to arrange for introductions. Or re-introductions." His hand found the edge of her face and traced it with the side of his thumb. "And this time you'll have me. I'm not going anywhere, Alex."
Chuckling softly, Alex nodded to his demand for her number. "I promise. You're going to have a hard time getting rid of me this time, Strand. I mean, you could try, but I doubt you'd be very successful." She wasn't going anywhere. Not when everything that was important to her was right here in Snowcap. She certainly appreciated the offer to help her with the boys, but that wasn't something she was going to put on him. It sounded like he had enough to deal with lately.
He smirked at her, raised a wry brow. "Not a chance in hell, Spencer. We're stuck with each other no matter what."