WHO: Derry and JJ WHAT: Getting to Know You, Getting to Know…Some About You WHEN: 18 June 2019, Evening WHERE: Derry's Room, The Bunkhouse RATING: Kissing, Being/some Religious discussions, Loss of a Parent mentioned, (a bit of plot)
It was a quiet night after a normal enough day wherein nothing remotely out of the ordinary happened. JJ was very content to be lying in a bed not her own, with her lips against a mouth not her own, while one hand that was not her own was tangled in her wild hair, and the other had finally been bold enough to slip under her shirt. It had gone no higher than where it was currently resting, folded over the curve of her ribs and into the dip of her waist. The touch gave her goosebumps, and she made a pleased sound against Derry's mouth.
It had been like this for a couple of weeks now, getting together for even a brief time, nearly every night--sometimes just for dinner, but sometimes for this. She liked it, the ease of it, the unpressured sweetness. She wanted it, wanted him, sure, but it never felt like that was the sum total endgame for him. JJ pulled back just a tiny bit to smile up at him as she traced patterns over his neck and along his clothed shoulders. "There certainly are much worse ways to end the day. At the risk of makin' you blush, I have to say you're very good at this."
Things between him and JJ had been good. Derry liked her, and it was so rare for him to actually act on his feelings or if he did to hope for more. There was still some reluctance, and some fear of rejection. That was why Derry hadn’t pushed JJ to do more than she wanted. So, if making out in his room at the end of the day was what she wanted, Derry was happy to let that go on as long as possible.
When JJ pulled away, Derry took that opportunity to catch his breath. He laughed lightly at the compliment, and it might have made him blush a bit. “It does take two,” he said and grinned as his nose brushed against hers. Her skin felt so soft under his hand as it slid behind to the small of her back.
Her breath caught, and she arched up into him, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. He was always so careful with her, and that feeling flew straight to her heart. Her hands fell down to his shoulders and moved across his arms until one rested over his bicep and the other against his forearm. His muscles felt extremely tense there, almost hard, and she rubbed her thumbs against them to try to relieve the tension. "We don't have to stay like this." She searched his face for any sign of discomfort. "I kinda like curling up against your chest."
Every time they met up, Derry was always careful. His shirt had never come off, and usually he was so focused on JJ that she never noticed anything different about him. His hand had spread out over the small of her back as he’d pulled her closer. Derry had leaned in closer again to drag his lips over her jaw line and down to her neck.
He had felt JJ’s hands on his shoulders but Derry hadn’t been paying attention when they moved down to his forearm. While Njall had helped with the patches on his skin… they were still growing back. He’d felt panic start to rise as JJ’s hands rubbed at his arm. Derry leaned up to look at JJ’s expression when she suggested they could move.
“Sure,” he offered instead of protesting he was fine even though he was. With his arm wrapped around JJ’s waist, he was able to roll them over on the bed, so he was laid back with JJ now on top of him. “I like feeling you curled up against me too,” he did agree, and leaned up this time to kiss her again.
She spent long moments like that, trading kisses that varied in intensity, but something in the way he'd tensed made it difficult to completely ignore. Slowly, reluctantly, she pulled her attentions away from a particularly soft patch of skin on the side of his neck, and leaned up to look down at him.
Yet again, she studied his face, even reached up to draw her fingers along the lines of it, across his brow and down his nose. She didn't want to say anything, but she felt like it was important. "Sometimes," she said slowly, "it's like you don't want me to touch you. Look, if I'm doin' somethin' wrong all you have to do is tell me, and I'll stop. No questions asked. I just feel like so much of the time you make it all about me, when all I wanna do is make it about you."
Derry looked up to JJ when she’d pulled back again. He listened as she slowly told him her concern, and he frowned. That had not been his intention. It never was. It was always the risk when Derry became interested in someone.
“I promise it’s not that. You’re not doing anything wrong,” Derry assured her as he brushed his hand through JJ’s curls. “And I don’t mind you touching me, it’s just...” he said before he hesitated. He’d already told two people in a short period of time. And JJ was the person he was spending the most time with now…
Derry let go of JJ so he could reach to pull up both sleeves of his shirt. It revealed the dark cracked patches of skin of brown and green on his forearms. He was worried about explaining in case JJ’s immediate reaction was to just leave.
She'd watched his movements curiously, had leaned away to facilitate their ease, and then blinked down at his arms, not quite knowing what she was seeing. Very quickly, surprise followed that initial confusion, but right on its heels came concern as her gaze went from those bits of bark-like skin—there was no mistaking what it looked like—up to his face. Her lips pressed tightly together as she watched him for a few seconds, but there was no break in the worry in her face and no revulsion, or hiding of the latter.
JJ took his arms, one right after the other, and with soft, delicate movements, arranged them so that they lay across his stomach. One hand still supported her weight, but the other wrapped over his upper forearm, just below the crook of his elbow. Her thumb brushed over his skin, a sweeping circular gesture that came very close to touching one of those patches. She didn't flinch away from it, but she also wasn't about to actually touch it without him saying she could. It felt like one of those lines of intimacy that one shouldn't cross without express permission, and she had no idea if they were even remotely there yet. Slowly, quietly she asked, "Is it a spell effect?"
Derry had watched JJ and even a few moments felt like it could take forever. She hadn’t said anything, and he saw her expression of worry on her face. She didn’t get up to leave but instead arranged his arms so she could possibly see better. JJ touched him but stopped short of the bark-like skin.
“No,” was his first answer to that question. It didn’t provide more explanation as he tried to think of the best way to explain. “It is magic, but it’s a condition I was born with,” which was honest but not everything. He remembered the day when they’d gone into the woods and while under the influence of the Weeping Cortinarius, JJ had compared him to a tree… and told him his mother hadn’t screamed when she was killed. So, in a strange way, JJ already knew though Derry couldn’t explain it, and that allowed him to think he could explain it to her now.
“My mother was a Dryad. My father met her while on a research trip in Greece. So that makes me half human half Dryad,” he explained as he watched where JJ’s hands went before looking back to her face to see her reaction. “It’s actually quite normal… in Greece to have half Dryads in the community, but they mostly appear completely human, or have small patches of bark-like skin.” JJ hasn’t left yet, and he felt that she probably was someone who would be supportive of those who were cross-beings, but he wouldn’t know until she told him. “But I’m… different, and Healers have never been able to figure out why. Since I was a teenager, my Dryad skin has been growing more rapidly and aggressively. If untreated… it could cover my whole body. So, over the years, I’ve gotten used to hiding it which usually means avoiding contact with other people too.”
Her fingers never stilled on his arm, but she never stopped looking at his face. The only real reaction she had to his revelation was the slight widening of her eyes and her lips forming a tiny "oh" of surprise. It settled into wonder as he continued. Even though she had a million questions, she didn't speak until he was done. "I'll bet she was beautiful, your mama. But I noticed you used the past tense." JJ frowned a little, not well liking the implication. She remembered from school that the only way a Dryad died was if something happened to their tree. Her gaze fell to one of the larger patches, and she traced the outer edges of its irregular shape as she mulled over the rest. Worry knit her brow, and she did nothing to hide it. "Does it hurt? If it doesn't, may I—?"
Derry looked at JJ carefully, remembering her words when she was under the influence of the Weeping Cortinarius. She’d told him his mother hadn’t screamed when she died, but Derry didn’t suspect JJ of being insincere right now. “She was, my Dad said,” Derry clarified to her guess. “She died when I was still a baby, so I have no memory of her,” he explained. Sometimes he imagined that he did but he could never be sure if that was just suggestions put in his mind from listening to his Dad talk about her.
He watched where JJ’s hand had gone, tracing along the patch on his arm. “No, it doesn’t hurt. Go ahead,” he said, giving her permission to touch him. It was a part of him, and it only really hurt when it got to his joints and that was only because he wasn’t used to it.
"I'm sorry. About your mama. I know you say you don't remember her, but that still must've been hard to grow up without her. And I'm sure your daddy missed her terribly." JJ kissed him, like it was an apology for having been robbed of a childhood with both parents. She was increasingly aware of just how lucky she was that her parents were still together, and still very much in love.
But those thoughts were for another time. Now, she finally ran her fingertips along a strip of green and brown. It felt dry and rough around the brown parts, just like she would expect from nondescript bark, a little smooth if she went with the grain, but catching on her skin if she went against it. The green bits, however, were soft no matter which way she went.
It was all warm, like him, and maybe she realized she'd been touching it and looking at it a little overlong and flashed him an embarrassed look. JJ slid down his body until his arms were at her head level, and she pressed a kiss against one of the patches. "I like them. I hate what they're doin' to you, and I can see why you wouldn't or can't, but I think they're beautiful. I never thought the world could be made up of such amazin' people, but then here you come, showin' me another wonder."
Derry hadn’t realized how tense he’d felt until JJ had kissed him in apology. There was more relief in that action than he’d expected. He’d wanted to wrap his arms around JJ, but he’d let her do her exploring first. He wasn’t used to someone not a healer doing that, and clearly it felt a lot different with JJ touching him.
What really surprised him was when JJ moved down so she could place a kiss to his arm. He’d blushed, not expecting that at all. “I’ve never thought of myself as beautiful,” he said honestly. Derry smiled at JJ though and pulled one arm away so he could brush a hand over JJ’s cheek and up into her hair. “If anyone is amazing, that would be you.”
There was a part of her that wanted to instantly dismiss the idea. She was nothing special. Her meteoric rise and fall were just down to coincidence and being in the right place and the right time and knowing or being introduced to the right people. She closed her eyes momentarily, and allowed herself to feel his fingers in her hair. It wasn't often that she actually liked for people to touch her hair, especially without permission, but this was one of her very, very tiny list of exceptions.
Scooting back up his body, she perched her arms across his chest and loomed over him. "All right, if not beautiful, would you accept devastatingly handsome? 'Cause you really are. Sometimes I catch myself thinkin' about you when I should be payin' attention. You're gonna get me in loads of trouble one day, Mr. Alexander Ackerly."
When JJ moved to lean on his chest and look down at him, Derry was able wrap both of his arms around her waist. It was a relief that JJ really wasn’t bothered by how he was different. He’d been registered for years but Derry was always reluctant to tell people. JJ made three… and it was getting easier with each person he spoke to.
He’d mostly meant he didn’t think the bark on his skin was beautiful, but JJ had to take the compliments further. He did chuckle when she explained how he distracted her at times and how that would get her in trouble. “Should I be saying thank you, or I’m sorry?” he asked.
If anything though, Derry thought that JJ was the one that captivated him and he couldn’t stay away from her, even to keep his secrets. He couldn’t stop thinking of her either, and he looked forward to any chance to see her. “The beauty in your eyes, a glow that shines like the sunrise. A smile that opens up the cloudy skies, and laughter delights. Rosy cheeks cover your face, and beauty defined the word itself,” he recited to her.
Her breath caught, because how could it not? JJ stared down at him, into those stunning blue eyes, and found herself momentarily and utterly speechless. She lowered herself until her lips just barely brushed his, but no further. The smile that curled the corners of her lips was teasing and so very, very fond. "Keep that up, and I'm pretty sure what you should be doin' is kissin' me. Or maybe I should be kissin' you. Which would you prefer? Either way, the endgame's the same."
Derry returned that quick kiss, and smiled back at JJ affectionately when she leaned in closer. “Both sounds good to me,” Derry said with his hands brushing underneath her skirt again so he could feel connecting and her bare skin under his palms. He leaned up to kiss JJ again, deepening it further this time.
With a soft sigh and a breathy moan and an arch to her back pushing her more flush against his chest, she descended to make good on her plans. She kissed him with an aim to enjoy and distract, to pull them away from heavy topics. Yet it was one of those topics that finally made her bold enough to push up his shirt ends a little so she could return the favor of direct contact. She didn't even pause when her hands encountered more of those rough patches. It kind of spurred her on more, because she wanted to show him that it didn't matter to her. Not that she didn't care, but that she accepted that part of him, because, well, it was part of him.
Yet for as much as she was absolutely present in the moment, and was, in fact, losing herself in the series of open mouthed kisses that made her socked toes curl, her mind still drifted to their conversation. How his mama had died. Or that she'd died. It got into her head, tickling against her thoughts. Something was there, some memory beyond just today. JJ didn't want to poke at it, but it felt important.
Very abruptly, she pulled away, freeing her hand to plant against Derry's bed so she could gain just a little more distance. Breath left her in little shaking gasps, and she looked all around the room before looking down at his face. She worried her lip with her teeth, before blurting, "A whole forest for an office building."
This time, Derry hadn’t flinched or panicked as JJ’s hands moved under his shirt. The fact that JJ was there kissing him again, was a relief. She had not left, nor was she disgusted. He continued to kiss her back and all of his thoughts were of her. He was happy to go at JJ’s pace, and let her explore his chest with her hands.
When she pulled away suddenly though, Derry looked at JJ concerned. “What’s wrong?” he asked and perhaps his relief had been too soon. And what JJ finally said, Derry was just concerned for another reason. He moved to sit up, but kept his arm at JJ’s waist. “It’s alright. Are you remembering… that day?”
JJ was extraordinarily confused, and it played out all over her face. When he sat up, she did as well, with the effect of her legs going around his waist. Normally she would have been embarrassed, but the sensation of memory, of being back in the woods, and feeling like everything had become music, and then feeling it all become overwhelming, the weight of these secrets that were still just beyond her reach put everything else out of mind.
One hand was still under his shirt, palm resting over the center of it while her fingers pressed a mindless rhythm that happened to match his heart. She tipped her forehead lightly against his, eyes closing. "I don't remember things. I've remembered one thing since I got to Brightstar. One, and it was just a flash. But this. I can remember what I said, what I did, but not the thoughts behind it. Even the feelings are vague. Heck, who knows, I'll probably forget this too. Derry, I'm missin' time, all the time. I have whole chunks of my day sometimes that I can't recall to save my life."
Derry was worried about JJ so while he noticed her legs going around his waist, he was more concerned about JJ and what was happening to her. He remembered the way she spoke that day in the woods. He’d still think it over and would wonder how good of an idea it would be to ask her about it. How she was acting now told him that JJ clearly hadn’t remembered, until now.
His hand moved up her back in a soothing way as JJ leaned in to him, their foreheads resting against each other. “What do you mean you don’t remember things?” Derry asked because he wanted to understand. What was she not remembering? When she mentioned missing time though altogether, Derry looked at JJ concerned. “JJ… have you gone to a Healer about this?” he asked. “You mentioned part of this before… in the woods. That you were forgetting yourself.”
"No healers," she said sharply, going tense all over. It was an automatic response. It was the same response she gave anytime anyone mentioned it. Which, granted, was just this once. Not even Felix had suggested it, bless him, but if he had her reaction would have been the same. "It's not that bad." The logic made no sense, but she couldn't seem to stop herself. "It's just a few random instances. I'm sure you can't remember every minute of every day."
The instant response of refusing to see a healer wasn’t what caught Derry off guard. He felt JJ tense in his arms, and he watched her as she tried to explain her reaction. That was what caught him off guard as the level of worry changed. Derry went to say something but… he wasn’t sure what to say. One moment JJ had been worried about how she’d been forgetting things… and now it was no big deal. And, she was defensive.
“JJ… you just said it was happening all the time,” Derry pointed out. He didn’t want to upset her, but he’d already seen one incident where she’d forgotten things she’d said and did. There was a fine line here because Derry didn’t want to upset her. And if she was really forgetting things, then this could just be part of it. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean anything negative by suggesting it.”
Her face fell, and she was quick to lean in and kiss him, to smooth her fingers over the obvious concern on his face. "Aw, hon, I'm sorry. You know how somethin' happens, and all of a sudden you just feel like makin' a mountain out of a mole hill? Like it's the worst possible thing that could ever happen to you, when really it's just a bunch of nothin'. It's like that, I promise."
But it wasn't. She was lying. She didn't want to be, but it was still spilling out of her, all charm and guile.
Derry wanted to believe her. He kissed JJ back when she leaned in again but he was still so unsure. JJ had contradicted herself right in front of him, and her explanation didn’t seem to account for it.
“Alright,” he said as if he was accepting it… for now. “If it’s no big deal then, I have a better suggestion,” Derry said smiled as if to reassure her. “When we see each other, you tell me about your day, or anything you want to remember. And if you do forget, I’ll remind you.”
The relief she felt was palpable enough that she felt absolutely dizzy from it. She drew him in for another kiss, deep and meaningful—and not an absolute lie. When she did respond, it was still against his lips, as she kept him close. "Sounds like a plan." JJ smiled against his mouth and bowed her back into his hands. "And now that we've got that sorted out, however will we spend the rest of our evenin'?"
He didn’t hesitate when he kissed JJ back. Derry figured that the more stressed she got about this memory issue, the worse it would get, and maybe even the more she would lie. But his concern was sincere, and his relief was real as he kissed her back. Derry would just have to be careful and watch what JJ said.
He smiled at her question about what else they had planned on doing. “Well… I did have a question for you before we get back to our original plans,” Derry decided to bring this up now as the mood had shifted to the positive again. “Did you want to go to the Masquerade Gala on Friday… together?”
It shouldn't have come as a surprise, but she still felt touched by his offer. She threw her arms around his neck and squealed quietly before kissing his cheek soundly. "I'd love to! Do you have your outfit picked out already? I was kinda sorta bankin' on just workin' the registration table or somethin', but actually goin' with you is much more preferable."
Derry was pleased that his offer made JJ happy. He’d hugged her back, and after she’d kissed his cheek, he leaned his forehead against hers again. “I have my just in case of formal emergencies suit, but that’s about it,” he admitted but fashion had never really been his thing anyway. “I don’t really like crowds or parties, but I can deal with that if I get to dance and be with you.”
JJ's heart swelled all over again, and she leaned away but only so she could bring her hands around to trace the collar of his shirt. Her fingers skirted just inside those fabric lines, touching bare skin and not flinching at all when they encountered those bark patches. "Aw, hon, of course I'd love to distract you for an evenin', and I'm absolutely sure you're gonna cut the most dashin' figure out there. That's not bias, that's just fact."
She sent him a coquettish smile and a bitten lip as she undid one of his buttons. "I think you cut dashin' figure just by existin', and, again, that's just a cold, hard, universally accepted fact. I don't make the rules, I just try to abide by 'em."
Derry watched JJ as she smiled at him, and felt her hands continue to explore. He already noticed the difference now that he’d showed her what he’d been hiding… she had no reason to stop touching him now.
He did chuckle though as she continued to compliment him on how dashing he was. “I don’t know if that’s really a fact, but I like it that you think so,” he said. His hands were resting at JJ’s waist, his thumb tracing patterns there on her skin, while he watched start to unbutton his shirt.
Drawing back, she affected an extremely offended look. JJ pressed a hand against her chest to further said affect, even while she pushed at his shoulder. "My dear Derry, do you doubt the veracity of my aesthetic? I will have you know that it is deeply rooted in my belief that God made all creatures great and small, and that you, sir, are definitely not small, nor are you remotely a creature outside of my further belief that we are are all creatures of God and therefore precious in His sight. So, by default, you're precious in mine too."
Her teasing smile faded, because the last thing she wanted was for him to not think that, despite her bombastic delivery, the sentiment was very sincere. The hand at her chest went to the side of his face, fitting against his cheek as she used her gaze to try to convince him of her truth. "I really do mean it. I think you're great, and I really do believe that God put all of us on this Earth for some purpose or another. And if he brought you to my path, then that means somethin' to me."
For his part, Derry tried really hard not to laugh just in case JJ was serious, or at least partially serious. “I don’t doubt you at all,” he said because that for sure was true. Her delivery was obviously meant to tease, but with her hand on his cheek, she restated her point again. “Whatever put you in my path, I’m grateful,” he did agree and to reassure JJ, he leaned in to kiss her again.
She urged him again onto his back and followed him down with a kiss. After long moments of this, she tipped her nose against his, just rubbing them together in a ridiculously adorable way. "Look, if you ever don't like me bringin' up my beliefs, all you have to do is tell me. I know it's probably weird, what with us havin' magic and all, but it's how I was raised. Every Wednesday night was choir practice, and then you'd best believe my little self was planted in a pew or with the choir every Sunday mornin' and Sunday evenin', no excuses aside from maybe an Egyptian-style plague. I realize I'm a minority in more ways than one, so I get it if might make you uncomfortable." She smiled a little sadly. "It's hard balance that I'm still tryin' to reach."
Derry did as JJ urged him and moved to lay back on the bed but certainly pulled JJ with him so she could lean on his chest again. Even after they’d finished kissing, Derry held her close. “It’s not weird,” he assured her but had waited until after she’d finished. “It’s part of who you are and your story,” Derry explained and brushed his hand over her cheek and frowned at her sad smile. “It doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable,” he explained.
“I remember when I was young, trying to find out more about myself. Stories that had people like… me. And the one story that stood out the most was the Myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. The only story that I could really relate to, ended in tragedy,” Derry explained. “I know we have different reasons for feeling like minorities, and I don’t mean to compare experiences… but I do understand.”
She was very aware of the myth and the story. And he was right: it was a tragedy. Sudden, ridiculous tears pricked at her eyes, and she leaned in to kiss him before she said, "I would sing you from the land of death, if only I could promise to never look back. But I'm too curious, and I'd want to make sure you'd followed." Her laugh was a little wobbly around the edges. "Which...I realize is really dumb and probably creepy, given that we've only been datin' for, like, a couple of weeks."
Derry didn’t mean to make her cry. He kissed her back, but when JJ began speaking about what she’d do, he reached to wipe the tears from her eyes with his thumbs. He smiled at her as she laughed. “It’s not creepy,” he assured her. Derry appreciated JJ’s imagination. “I’ve already had to save you once. I’d consider it returning the favor, at least the attempt,” he said because she did admit to being too curious.
JJ laughed again and slipped her hand into the gap she'd finally created by undoing another couple of buttons. Her fingers rested just over his heart, and set up a light tapping that matched its rhythm without any conscious thought of her own. "Well, if that's the case, then I promise a rescue worthy of prose and song and enduring glory. I'll make sure it's extra memorable."