Jocelyn Eldridge (makeyoubetter) wrote in brightlightlogs, @ 2009-12-11 22:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | alpha, jocelyn eldridge |
Who: Joss and Alpha.
What: Joss said Alpha had to buy him dinner first. Alpha picked somewhere classy.
When: Evening.
Where: Joss's room, then Alpha's car.
Rating: R. For sexual references.
Status: Complete.
The problem with being a former active from the days when the chair was held together with chewing gum and twine, was that occasionally you got the random urge to do laps for an hour or wax poetic about applesauce or make glitter kittens. So, yeah, Joss's brain sucked sometimes, but it wasn't so bad. Sometimes it was nice, when he was alone and could just switch it off for a little while. Like a light switch or a stereo or an iron...no, you unplugged those. Stick with one analogy at a time. Switch off or unplug. Not both. Anyway, Claire had taken the children, by which he meant Echo and Sierra, out for ice cream or something. He wasn't sure. He just hoped she had them on those child leash things, so they wouldn't wander off. It was Vegas, so it wasn't like anyone was going to comment. They'd probably just assume it was some kinky threesome thing. And now he was thinking about kinky threesomes involving Claire, Echo and Sierra. Dammit.
There was a knock on his door and he walked over, fervently praying it wasn't Topher. He was not his manfriend, whatever that was, no matter how many times the programmer called him that. In fact, he often felt a strong, if somewhat inexplicable, urge to punch him in the face. Or correct his terrible grammar. He wasn't sure which, but he hadn't done either yet. Maybe he should. Stress relief could be good. He opened the door and stared quizzically at Alpha for a long moment. Huh. Not what he'd expected. "Claire isn't in right now," he said with a charming smile. Or possibly it was an awkward smile. But Alpha hadn't stabbed him yet, so that was a plus. Go him. "And neither is Echo...or Sierra, if you've moved on to stalking a new girl. Blonds are nice, if that's what you're going for. Can I take a message?"
"I want alfredo," Alpha said bluntly. "We're going to the Olive Garden." Was it weird that Alpha was dragging a Dollhouse handler out to dinner? Abso-fucking-lutely. But Alpha was weird that way and, for a while, he seemed to have given up on trying to torture or kill the people from his own world. Maybe he'd had an epiphany. Maybe he was saving them for later, like delicious pasta leftovers.
...Mmm, fettuccine alfredo.
"I'm not blowing you for Olive Garden," Joss said dryly with a raised eyebrow. Yes, he remembered their earlier conversation, and he sort of hoped that wasn't actually why Alpha was here. Because that would be really awkward. Still, even as he spoke, he was grabbing his jacket. Because Olive Garden may not have been the nicest place ever, in terms of meriting fellatio, but they had some damn good breadsticks. Okay...note to self? No mentioning fellatio and breadsticks in the same sentence. It led to strange mental images that he really didn't need with Alpha standing right fucking there. "Fine, fine. Olive Garden. Let's go then."
He paused. "But you're paying. You asked me on this date, not the other way around."
"Who said anything about blowing me? I want pasta, you perv." Seriously. Actually, Alpha looked rather disgusted by the thought. The straight ones must have been at the wheel right now. In ten minutes he might totally change his mind. "Do you really wear that jacket out in public? Faux pas much?"
"You, a few hours ago," Joss said with a roll of his eyes, "but I guess you're a different you right now. Ever thought of picking one and sticking with it." He was sure that Alpha would be different in ten minutes. Probably handsy. "Are you sure you're not one of the gay ones? Because you're being really bitchy. I mean, for fuck sake, it's a leather jacket. A plain leather jacket. Nothing wrong with that."
"Sure, if you're a biker or Johnny Depp." Alpha rolled his eyes in turn. "Come on, let's go. I bought a car with that limitless credit card thing. I want to break a few traffic laws before dinner."
"Or...pretty much anyone," Joss countered. Why was he putting up with this bullshit again? Oh right. He didn't want Alpha shivving him in a fit of PMS. "What kind of car? Is it a Prius? Because that's a total douchebag car...I bet Ballard drives a Prius. You hung out with him when you were conning him. Did he drive a Prius?" He had a tendency to just say what was on his mind. So what?
"He couldn't fit in a Prius. Keplar had a Prius---I used to. It was good for the environment." Alpha twitched, making a face. "Ain't a fucking green car," he continued in Bobby's light Southern twang. "Got somethin' fast that shouldn't even be on the road. Somethin' what you can set the pavement on fire."
"Doesn't mean he wouldn't drive one," Joss pointed out. "He's kind of an idiot." It was a thing. Most of the handlers didn't like Paul's holier-than-thou white knight complex. "But good. Never been a fan of green cars. Environment is all well and good, but if you're gonna drive a car, drive a damn car. Not one of those..." He tapped his hand against his leg in a jerky rhythm as they walked. He hadn't actually left much while he'd been here. It was kind of a thing. He wasn't good with crowds. Or people. Oddly, Alpha made him feel more comfortable than he would have alone.
Maybe that was because it was a little comforting to know that if people were going to stare, it would be at Alpha acting like a lunatic. That, or he had great people skills. It really depended on the weather and the price of tea in China.
The car that waited for them was a sleek black sports car. Most of Alpha didn't care much for cars, and the ones that did were pretty happy. He'd just walked into a dealership and asked for something fast. The professional driver in him would take over the rest. He vaulted over the driver's side door and settled into the seat, comfortable as anything. "Get in or I'll leave without you."
It was probably the same reason he slept in the bathtub and calmed down whenever Claire talked to him. It was just instinct. Really fucking stupid instinct. Like a retarded bison or something. Another reason to want to punch Topher fucking Brink.
Joss whistled lowly at the car. "That's nice," he said with a smile. He might have been queer as a three dollar bill, with the exception of Claire, but he could appreciate a nice car. He wasn't a fucking stereotype. He stood there a moment, then quickly opened the door and got in, not wanting to be left behind. Actually, he was worried if he did try to stay behind, Alpha might just run him over. And that would suck.
"Of course it's nice." It seemed like he should have snapped, but Alpha just looked happy with himself instead. "Heated seats, too. Who the fuck sells a car with heated seats in Nevada?"
"I hear it gets fucking cold here at night," Joss pointed out with a shrug. He wasn't an expert on heated seats. "I don't fucking know. If it's a fancy gadget, people want it, even if it's fucking useless." He said fuck a lot. It was a character flaw.
"Then put on a sweater, don't be a pussy about it." Alpha shrugged. The car practically hummed when he turned the key in the ignition. Without warning, Alpha peeled out of the driveway, his foot practically glued to the floor of the car. With anyone else, this would have been terrifying. As it was, it was still pretty terrifying, but at least Alpha knew what he was doing.
"I didn't mean me," Joss said, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not cold." And holy shit, he was pretty sure that normal cars weren't supposed to go this fast this quickly. He hastily fastened his seatbelt and resisted the urge to grip the door handle in a panic. It wasn't that he didn't trust Alpha, or rather Alpha's driving...because he didn't trust Alpha, but he had a strong aversion to dying in a car crash. "Wow...you're driving...fast. Yeah..." He was tapping his foot in a twitchy way on the floor, fervently praying not to die.
Speaking of which: "You know why I haven't tried to kill any of you yet, Josie?" Alpha asked casually---as casually as one can ask something when yelling over the wind because you're driving a hundred miles an hour.
Joss bit back the automatic retort of 'Don't call me Josie!' Other than Claire, Alpha was about the only one who could get away with calling him Josie. "No idea," he admitted, also yelling. "I hadn't given it much thought, honestly. Just figured you wanted your damn alfredo first."
"I hate this place," Alpha yelled back. "Back home, controlling all of you was easy. Here, there are too many crazies and fucking vampires to upstage me. Wouldn't be the same. I want to go home as much as you do." Alpha's your best friend while you all are still here, Joss.
"I don't really mind it," Joss said with a shrug, "unlimited funds, not being under the thumb of Adelle fucking DeWitt. But I'd rather be home. I don't function well out of the Dollhouse. At all. I'm sorry though, that you don't think you're the scariest motherfucker around anymore. If it makes you feel better, you scare us more than the sparkly flour girl." Oh Alpha. You'll always be their favorite villain to fear and loathe and have inappropriate crushes on...you know...normal stuff.
"That means a lot to me, actually." Like Joss was telling Alpha he was a favorite uncle or something. "It's disheartening to put so much effort into something to be upstaged by little girls."
"I'm glad." And in a strange way, he was. Because a happy Alpha was less likely to randomly knife him, and he liked his blood on the inside. "You definitely aren't upstaged by little girls, I promise. You terrify us well and good. You're very skilled at it. The terrifying thing."
"So about that blowjob---"
"Right now? Is that really such a good idea? What with you driving well over the speed limit?" But it wasn't a no.
Alpha smiled crookedly, running his tongue over his upper lip. "What's the matter? You don't trust me?"
"Like I said before," Joss said, "I'm not that kind of girl. Dinner first, sweetheart." This was fast becoming the most surreal night ever.