InsaneJournal

Who: Jaeger Henson and Anya Jenkins
What: Eerbudy in the club gettin' tipsy
When: At some point in time after this
Where: Scooby Manor
Rating: FH for Friggen Hilarious
Status: Complete



Jaeger Henson enjoyed the simple things in life. Living in a mansion with a bunch of seriously hot chicks. An unlimited credit card with which he could buy motorcycles, boats, and a tv so big it took up an entire wall. And sitting around the kitchen table playing Quarters with Anya and stolen alcohol, while the rest of the house was out fighting the forces of darkness.

Yep. The Simple things.

He'd snagged one of the golf carts they'd bought to get around the property and driven at top speed (that is to say about fifteen miles per hour) toward the servants quarters where Giles and Wes had moved to. They kept the front door locked, but Jaeger wasn't as completely useless has he seemed. He'd been a pretty damned good athlete back in Sunnydale, and he still had some moves. Parking the cart next to the side of the building, he climbed his way up onto the flimsy roof, feeling it dent slightly under his weight. He leaned forward, reaching his arms out, and grabbed ahold of one of the windowsills and shoved the unlocked window up.

Jumping up he pulled himself through the window and climbed into a study. "Cause they don't already have an office and a library in the main house or anything." Jaeger rolled his eyes as he headed over toward the well stocked liquor cabinet. He helped himself to a couple of bottles. (Variety is the spice of life, right?) Before letting himself out through the front door and motoring it back to the main house. He had the bottles, the shot glasses, and the quarters out on the table and was lounging around in one of the chairs when Anya finally appeared.

"Bout time. I was gonna start without you."

"No, you weren't," Anya corrected, clinking her stolen booze unto the table before pulling out a chair with a satisfied smirk. Like it'd been her fault that Spike kept his alcohol locked up tight. It'd taken her forever to get the stupid case open, which was weird, because in the movies they always did in thirty seconds with a hairpin. She would've just taken off her clothes until he did whatever she wanted, but apparently he was too busy mooning after Buffy and worrying about his startlingly frequent homoerotic urges to be sitting around in his room. But what else was new.


She'd already dipped into one of the bottles, not because she felt a particular need to be drunk, but because it was a Tuesday and she didn't have a reason not to be. And sure, she might want to have her wits about her in case evil came barging in through the window, but she'd probably die horribly regardless of sobriety, so. Though if she did have to kick the bucket, it might as well be here, with Jaeger and more liquor than she could possibly drink. Ooh, and quarters! This was going to be fun.


"What did you do, rob from the piggy bank?" She asked, pointing to the stack of coins on the table. “Oh my god, you didn’t, did you? I put up a sign.”


"Maybe not." Jaeger consented, reaching out to snag one of the bottles that Anya had just set down on the table. "But that's only because Spike's stuff is better than the Watchers." He spun the cap off of the bottle and eyed the markings around the rim. "Apparently you decided to start without me, though." He tilted the neck of the bottle toward her. "Unless you and Spike are wearing the same lipstick these days."


Wiping the lipstick off the rim with his sleeve, Jaeger took a swallow from the bottle before pouring two shot glasses full. "We live in Las Vegas, Anya." He said, sliding one of the shot glasses toward her. "Home of the slot machine! He downed his shot and stretched his arms out above his head, the empty shot glass still clutched in one hand. "I don't need to rob from your adorable, yet slightly odd piggy bank. However, tonight..." He swung his arms back down and pointed a finger at her. "We're playing a different sort of game."


"Don't be stupid," Anya said giving him a look. "Pink wouldn't suit him at all." But she shrugged a little and looked almost contrite. Almost. She reached out and grabbed one the offered glass, taking a quick swig when Jaeger did. She wrinkled her nose. Good stuff or no, it still burned on the way down. Less than it used to, though, which she reckoned either pointed towards better booze or a startling alcohol dependence. Probably the former, but you could never be too sure. Examining her drink, she took another sip before stretching out and settling into the chair. Yup, definitely the first.


"It is pretty adorable," she conceded happily, ignoring the other part of the comment. There was nothing odd about her piggy bank, as far as she was concerned. After all, it was cute and filled with her money. What's not to love? She watched as Jaeger threw his arms around like a enthusiastic if slightly deranged monkey, pointing at herself as he swung a finger at her. Me? she mouthed, giving a excited little clap at the idea. Yay, this was going to be fun! But wait. "This isn't going to get all sexy, is it?" she asked suspiciously. Because apparently, that happened to her a lot.


"You're right. He's more of a winter than a spring. Pink just wouldn't go with his complexion." What? So maybe once he'd gotten drunk at a post homecoming party and had gotten stuck listening to one of the cheerleaders talk about her fashion advising class for half an hour.

While Anya sipped at her drink, Jaeger grabbed another shot glass and placed it between the two of them on the table. He filled it with...what were they drinking anyway? He spun the bottle around to glance at the label. Jack Daniels. Nice. Thanks, Spike he thought as he poured the amber liquid into the glass. Setting the bottle aside, he reached his arms out again, across the table this time, and used his hands to herd the large pile of quarters closer to the two of them.

"Sexy?" He glanced up at her. "Oh, right. Yeah, I've heard you tend to have inappropriate sex when you're drunk. Don't worry, it's a human thing. We all do it. And while it will be sexy in the sense that you and I are both sexy bitches, we'll leave it at that. No, table-top sex tonight, my little towheaded friend. NOW. You do know how to play Quarters, don't you?"

She ran her fingers through her hair contentedly, humming a little. Comments on her sexiness and a mention of her hair (which, by the way, she'd had lightened just this morning)? She knew she liked him for a reason. "You don't think it's too blonde?" she asked, with an expression that clearly said that the answer had better be 'no, oh god no, you goddess of leave-in conditioner.' Anya may have been big on the bluntness, but that didn't mean she didn't appreciate certain reassurances. Most of them about her hair. Was that a human thing too? She finished off her drink, and poured herself another shot. You know, maybe it was the drink talking, but she was feeling pretty awesome today. "Hooray for non-sexual attractiveness. Hit my hand," she said, holding it up for what was more commonly referred to as a high five.

"No," she responded, eying the pile of coins. "I think Xander and I played once, but we were interrupted by three-horned demon spawn. Also, already drunk."

Jaeger laughed as Anya preened a little. She was adorable, and she knew it, but in never stopped her from searching out a compliment here and there. "Too blonde?" He commented for her benefit. "Never. And even if it was, you could still pull it off."

"Right on!" He slapped Anya a high five, before grabbing a quarter and holding it up for her to see. "Quarters, my dear Anya, is the most classic of drinking games. And barring and demonic intrusions, you are going to love it." Holding the quarter tightly between his thumb and his index finger, he bounced the coin on the tabletop and it flipped up and into the glass easily. "The object of the game is to bounce a quarter into the glass. Now, since I made it, you would have to drink. But if I missed, then it would be your turn."

She drank obediently, then leaned forward and plucked a quarter from the pile. "My turn? It's my turn, right?" she bounced impatiently. "I want to take my turn."

Jaeger laughed again. Yeah, this was definitely going to be entertaining. He grabbed the bottle and filled the glass up again. "Your turn."

"Yay!" Screwing up her face in concentration, Anya took one of the coins and tossed it onto the table. It rolled sort of near the glass, but otherwise missed it, completely and utterly. Completely abandoning the rules they'd established just moments before, she reached out to try again. "Wait," she insisted, "That didn't count! I get one more try. It's like a handicap, but for old age and/or previous drunkenness." It was a little early in the game to be bending the rules to her advantage, but hey. Her pride was on the line, here.

A wide smirk crossed his face as her quarter didn't land anywhere near the glass. He'd been about to reach out and grab a new coin for himself, but his hand froze over the pile of change when Anya shouted 'wait.' Hand still poised midair, he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Alright," He conceded, bringing his hand back over to the edge of the table. "But if you miss again, you have to take another shot." He should feel a little bad at exploiting her. She'd never played before, and he was King of the Quarters back home. But as funny as she was sober, she was even more hilarious when drunk. So he couldn't make himself feel too terrible. "You willing to risk it?"

"It's a deal." she said, offering her hand to shake. "Humiliation for alcohol." She'd do fine - mathematics were on her side! Well, not exactly, but more on her side than it was before. Nodding her agreement, she bounced the quarter neatly into the glass, and, cheering, promptly took a drink in celebration. Huh, when did her glass get all empty? Grabbing the bottle, she poured herself another shot, and turned to Jaeger, looking utterly triumphant. "Go."

Jaeger shook her proffered hand with an air of importance. These were serious deals they were making here. They deserved the proper amount of respect. While she prepared for her next shot, he folded his arms and leaned backward in his chair, balancing on the back two legs. He had to lean forward again though, as he doubled over in laughter. "Anya!" He chuckled. "When you make the shot, I'm the one that's supposed to drink!" He poured himself a shot and downed it. Fair was fair. She had made the shot. He filled the glass between the two of them again.

He grabbed the quarter, feeling the shots starting to go to his head now. He focused intently and just barely managed to land the quarter into the glass, it pinged against the side as it flipped in. "Now you drink." He instructed.

"That's stupid," Anya complained, as Jaeger started to laugh. "I want to get drunk on stolen booze. That's the point of the game." Throwing quarters into cups was no fun if you were sober. But then, she had felt an odd thrill at her success, sort of warm and pleasant in the bottom of her stomach. Or maybe that was the whiskey. Either way, she was pretty much good. Stacking the quarters absentmindedly, first in little piles of two, then three, she watched him attempt the shot.

And gaped as he managed to make it in. "Unfair!" she exclaimed, pointing at the coin in the bottom of the glass. "How did you do that? It was magic, wasn't it? I bet it was magic." He'd better watch out, that stuff was addictive. One minute it was all party hats and drinking games, and the next you were flaying boys and knocking your favorite ex-ex-demon friend unconscious for the third time within the hour. Or so she'd heard. "I call shenanigans." But she drank, nonetheless.

"Anya." Jaeger said patiently, only the corners of his mouth turned upward in a smile. "I'm pretty sure you already are drunk on stolen booze. Unless those pink cheeks are just because you're so attracted to me! But we've already said there won't be any sex. So you get those ideas right out of your head, young lady." He clucked his tongue. It felt thick in his mouth. Yep. He was pretty sure she wasn't the only one getting drunk on the stolen alcohol.

"I've got magic hands, baby." Jaeger agreed. Then realized what she was talking about. Sometimes, even with everything he dealt with, he forgot that when people referred to magic, they were being serious. "I mean, no." He turned his baseball cap sideways and shook his head. "I've just got skills."

"Shenanigans!" He shouted back at her. "I call your mom. Now come on. It's your turn."

"That's true," she agreed pleasantly. "All true." Drunk drunk drunkity drunk. But then again, so was Jaeger, she could tell. She wasn't really sure why, but that made her feel kind of proud, like it was some sort of competition, but with fewer medals and more complaining the next day. It didn't really make any sense, but then again, nothing she was thinking really made sense right now. So it was all good. Like, for example, as far as she could tell, the three most important things in the world right now were: 1. Jaeger's hat, and how it looked kind of funny sideways, 2. The coin in her hand, which was definitely going in that glass, no matter what, and 3. That her shirt really, really itched.

Closing one eye, she lined up her arm very carefully and aimed for the glass. It skimmed the rim, and bounced off. Poop, now she was itchy and losing. Pulling her shirt off over her head, she picked up the coin and dropped it in the cup with a clink. There. Much better.

Jaeger stretched his arms over his head, leaning back in his chair once more and watching Anya while she concentrated on her shot. When she whipped her shirt off, he wobbled dangerously from the shock, before the chair rocked back down onto all four legs again. "Anya!" Jaeger laughed, pulling his hat forward again and pulling the brim down so he couldn't see her. All he could see was the glass on the table between them, and her quarter lying neatly on the bottom.

"I think," He said, only slurring slightly, "That we may have just pinpointed why you have inappropriate sex when you've been drinking. Would you put your shirt back on, please? My neck is starting to hurt."

"I was itchy," Anya insisted, certain that Jaeger was the one who was confused here. "Not sexy. That's not the same at all, Jaeger. Unless you're a Gnerveel demon--" Which, she supposed, he could be. They looked more or less human, and were generally amusing. Well, except for their slight tendency to eat babies. Or maybe because of their slight tendency to eat babies, it really depended who you asked. "--and then they only line up three days a month."

No, she was pretty sure he was human. Most creatures of the night weren't nearly so reckless at the human male. "Stop doing that!" She instructed worriedly, pointing at the leg of his chair. "Are you trying to die a chair-related death or just give me a heart attack?"

Grumbling a little about stupid scratchy material and her generally delicate skin, she slipped her shirt back on. There was a bit of a disconnect in Anya's brain that had nothing to do with drunkenness, and it went something along these lines: Shirtlessness often led to sex, true, but only if she wanted it to. Which she hadn't. Ergo, she hadn't been sexy, just partially naked. Silly Jaeger, clearly his grasp on logic was tenuous at best. "Still," she added seriously, after a moment. "You were right not to look at my admittedly attractive breasts. Looking is cheating, and cheating is wrong. I've killed men for less." Smiling happily, she patted his arm.

"I'll stop leaning in my chair when you put your shirt back on!" Jaeger grinned, still staring at the inside brim of his hat. "But I'm touched that you're so worried about me, really. It's very sweet."

He gave a small sigh of relief when Anya pulled her shirt back on over her head. He may have been a good guy, and exceedingly crazy about his girlfriend, but he was still a nineteen year old male. It was better not to have the temptation around. He pulled his hat off his head and ran his fingers through his blonde hair. Throwing the hat down on the table, he shook his head in amused disbelief as she patted his arm.

"Thank you. I think." He was going to point out the fact that he had noticed her blatant cheating the round before, but didn't want to risk her taking her shirt off again. Instead he grabbed a quarter and bounced it off the table-top. It was a bit too far to the left, and bounced off the rim, careening across the table. "What the French Toast!" He grumbled. He was never drunk this early into a game of quarters. Anya was a bad influence.

"You're welcome," she responded blithely, completely oblivious to any hesitation on his part. She'd given him a very nice compliment, if you asked her. She did notice that he'd taken off hit hat, though. That was good. She liked the hat well enough, but sometimes she just forgot he had hair under there. It was a nice reminder. Plus, that thing probably smelled. Once, Xander had worn a hat for two weeks without stopping, even while he was digging holes. It'd been gross. Eventually, she and Willow had just stolen it and burned the thing. There'd been bonding, and he didn't wear another cap for a year. Success. Jaeger's was probably much nicer than that.

"What, french toast? Where?" Anya turned around, scouting the room for the mysterious breakfast food. She didn't see anything. Shrugging, she turned back to the table, cheering triumphantly as Jaeger missed the toss, then catching the quarter carefully before it could fall to the floor. It took every bit of hand eye coordination she had left this evening. Whoo, how many drinks had they even had?

"There's no french toast. Just another of my inexplicable, yet oddly charming turns of phrase." He rubbed the side of his face as he watched her catch his quarter before it rolled off the table. Yep. He was definitely drunk.

"Anya." He said, over pronouncing her name in an attempt not to slur it. "I don't know how you did it. But you got me drunk way too early into the game." He pointed a finger accusingly at her, poking her in the nose. "So it is for that reason alone, that I say we just end this right now, continue getting drunk without the aid of quarters, and go practice some more of our awesome dance moves."