Professor Remus J. Lupin (galarusblaidd) wrote in breaking_point, @ 2010-11-17 17:53:00 |
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Entry tags: | *complete, 2025 11, character: remus lupin |
RP: Remus Lupin
Who: Remus Lupin
Where: Grimmauld Place
When: Wednesday, 17 November, 2025 -- evening
Summary: Remus does his brooding in private.
The night was cold and wet, very much the same as it had been during the last weeks of the siege at Hogwarts.
It suited Remus' mood.
When Sirius had given him the news from James, it had been shocking. But, Sirius was off to take care of James. Moody's owl had arrived shortly after for Regulus. Ginny was leaving. There were things to be done, however small. And when there wasn't, there was the Library and research and not thinking about fresh sorrow.
Dinner had been a subdued affair.
And now there was nothing but night.
Remus sat outside on the terrace off their bedroom. He'd changed into denims and a pullover, sitting on the ground with his back to the wall, just staring at the dark, starless sky and letting the light rain fall on his face to wash away the trails of tears he finally allowed himself to shed.
I'm sorry, Harry. His thoughts turned toward his friend, chest constricting with emotion on top of the early restlessness that came with the approaching Full Moon. I tried. I tried to help your daughter find her way back to you and I failed. I'm so sorry.
Like the night after Lily had disappeared, Remus felt the weight of guilt and failure. Had it been his fault? When he'd been to visit her that last time, to see the baby, had he said the wrong thing? He'd told her she could give Harry his daughter back, that he knew she would do anything to protect her baby.
But, he hadn't meant in this way.
Had Lily thought, in her delusions, that he meant she could literally return to Harry? Had he unwittingly given her the courage to take their lives to keep Hope from pain?
What had happened to the sweet, inquisitive girl who had been his friend? Who hadn't cared about history or who he was in the past, but simply wanted to know what it was like to come back to a world where everyone knew a you that hadn't existed. He'd begun to heal that day in Harry's garden.
And he'd mistakenly thought he could help to heal her by continuing that friendship. He'd thought, by trying to help Lily, he could do for Harry what Harry had once done for him in looking after Ted.
But, he hadn't been able to do a thing to help in the long run. In his well-intentioned words, he might even have done more damage than good.
Wiping at his face, Remus closed his eyes and lay his head back against the wall of the house. He'd go inside shortly, dry off, get warm. He'd get into bed and hold on to Regulus for comfort. In the morning, they'd be there for James to support him and give him strength to deal with the loss of his sister and niece. Perhaps he could be better help to one of Harry's children where he'd failed the other.
For now, though, it was just Remus, the hidden moon, and tears falling in the rain.