James Sirius Potter (simply_james) wrote in breaking_point, @ 2010-11-05 23:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | *complete, 2025 11, character: james sirius potter |
RP: Jamie
Who: Jamie
Where: the Potter house in Godric's Hollow
When: Friday, 5 November, 2025
Summary: Jamie finally deals with his parents' death.
Jamie had pushed his parents' death into a deep corner after the initial reaction. The anger for his father's actions hadn't seem important when the distraction could have led to more deaths. The despair for his mother was just as dangerous and after the first night, he had avoided thinking about her. After the war, there were injuries and then the new government. There was always something more that needed to be done and he couldn't afford to be weak but last night's discussion had made it impossible to ignore it any longer.
After work, he Apparated to the house in Godric's Hollow. He hadn't been here in ages, not since the fire. He wasn't sure what to expect when he got in, but nothing could prepare for the devastation that he faced. Bitch! He wasn't even sure if it had been Lily or Bella, but for a moment, he felt intense hatred for the both of them. He had never understood his father's attachment to a house. 'It's just a building', he had told his father, but now he understood. Now, he wanted the house, wanted the familiar place that he knew as a child. He walked slowly through the ashes, mentally picturing where things would be. He knew what he had to do. He'd have to rebuild the house the way it once way.
In his walk, he ended up where the drawing room would be. Jamie sat on the floor, right in front of where the fireplace had been had would be once again, with pictures of all of the family on the mantel to replace the burnt emptiness.. Jamie wrapped his arms around his legs and stared into the empty fireplace.
"Mum, Dad, I'm sorry that I never made time for you. We didn't even have a proper funeral. I thought about everyone else, but I never seemed to have time for us, and now it's too late." He closed his eyes, not caring about the tears that were falling down. He didn't need to be strong any more, at least not now. "We won, you know. You would have been happy about that, even if you wouldn't have liked the means we used. Al is still with Severus; I'm not sure how you'd feel about that. Al was injured in the attack, but he's doing better. He's still with Severs and they seem happy, which... well I'm not sure how or why, but then Severus and I can't be in the same room without arguing and I assume that it's not the same for them. I still can't cast Dark magic; I bet that would make you happy." He wiped his cheek with a hand, as he continued to talk. "I was so angry when you left, Dad. It was so stupid, and because of you we lost Mum. I hated you so much for that, and now Lily is back and she's... she's better. She's not completely well, but you were right about that, too. She's still in there, and she can get better. Stephen thinks so too."
He smiled a little. "It kind of sucks to have you as parents. Between the two of you, you were right most of the times. Not always, but most of the times. The twins will be here soon. I hope that one day they'll think that Sirius and I suck too, because we're always right. I know I'll try my best. What else? Oh yeah, Lily and James are having a child, an uncle-" He chuckled, even though the tears hadn't stopped. "It's so fucked up, Dad. They want Sirius and Remus to be there and tell the baby about you, but none of them really knew you, not like Uncle Ron or Aunt Hermione, or even me. Those diaries you gave me... sometimes I wish that you'd given them to me sooner, not for Riddle, but to understand you. I don't think they care, though, not really. They are too stuck in the past. I know I should give them a chance, because you'd want to, but they pissed me off when they talked like they were your closest friends, and then I realised just how I was blaming them for doing the same thing I did. So fucking busy, and it seemed like there weren't enough hours in the day. I was so tired. I'm not looking for excuses, it's just... I miss you, both of you. I came here to say goodbye, but I don't know if I can." He lowered his head, burying it against his knees and cried until there were no more tears.
Jamie used the sleeve of his robe to dry his face and then stood up. "I'd like to come again, tell you about the twins. I hope you don't mind. Bye, Mum. Bye, Dad."