It took Hugo several sheets of parchment and three quills before he had an adequate response to Al's shocking letter. And he also needed to invest in some brain bleach, as the image of Al and the Headmaster was so very much NOT a pleasant one. Finally though, he had something that would work.
Al,
???????
Hugo
(The thirty-third attempt looked something like this:
Al,
Really? The Headmaster? Really? Why? He's so old. And...greasy. You're really going to let him have sex with you? And he's going to read this isn't he. And I'll be dead. Good thing I'm burning this
And is now safely in the charred remains of the Common Room floo)