This better not be one of those habitually told exaggerations which ruin the rationales of even the most sensible members of our family on Uncle George's birthday.
I've already submitted the announcement to the printers for the Morning Edition but fortunately they've halted their last minute additions during my efficiently-orchestrated takeover of the Prophet's Owlery.
Al
P.S. Do you know of an optimal way to store a petrified person? I'm afraid that if I keep Perry Busfield under my desk for over an hour, he'll shake off the Petrificus and climb out.