Harry James Potter (bp_harry) wrote in breaking_point, @ 2010-03-07 12:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | *complete, 2025 03, dead character: harry potter |
RP: Harry
Who: Harry
Where: Hogwarts
When: March 7 (well before dawn)
Rating/Warnings:
Summary: Harry returns after a night at work, with information he does not want to have
The night was still dark when he returned to the castle and climbed through the window, and yet Harry knew it was not long before morning. What had started as a night in worry and hope, had gone on to be a night of despair as reports were handed to him. He'd received the first from Vance with visible disappointment but with every piece of news that fluttered through, his face became more and more of a stony mask. He did his job. He passed the orders. He did everything he was supposed to and refused to feel.
But not feeling was hard when alone in a dark room.
He closed the window behind him quietly when he entered, not wanting to wake up his wife. How could he? He didn't even know what to say to her. How did you tell the woman you loved that the child you raised no longer existed? That the little girl you'd give your life to protect was turning into what you'd spent your entire youth fighting? That she was some sort of sex-toy for the Lestranges.
Had she been given a choice in that? Was the spell he knew she'd been under making her do things she didn't want? Or had she lost herself to the Dark Arts like Selwynn's testimony seemed to imply?
Sinking onto the sofa, Harry lit a single candle and opened the file still in his hand. The file that held all the information he did not want to see. Did not want to admit, but that he forced himself to read anyway. He wasn't sure when the first tear fell, or when he let the report fall onto the table and brought his hands to his face or when his body started shaking with the power of the sobs he tried to muffle as to not wake Ginny.
Here alone in the semidarkness the pain he felt was too much to bear. There was no more strength left in him to keep up the act, no choice but that between not feeling at all and falling apart. Tomorrow, he'd go back to work and do what needed to be done while showing nothing, while feeling nothing. Tonight he didn't even have the strength to go into his own bedroom and tell his wife what she deserved to know. Tonight there was nothing but pain and emptiness left.