"Oi, don't touch those, they've touched Ben's piano!" Al attempted to duck the assault. There were confirmed instances of SEX on that piano! And now the music sheets are suspect to it as well, by association.
"And it is too a Christmas tree. It's almost Christmas, and this is, by definition, a tree. It's perpendicular and it's got... um," Al looked up at his creation, "...branches. And it'll have decorations soon!" He held up a cut-out newspaper snowflake.