Scorpius kept his eyes on the window, still having a hard time with everything, the curse, dying, and Jamie was in there somewhere, mixed into one big mess. He had this resolve before he had come in, just to walk away and forget it. Jamie had this ability to pull him back. He was determined not to let him do it again, but soon it would make no difference anyway.
He was biting his lip, the way he did when he was nervous, or measuring words. "It can't be anything," he said, bringing his grey eyes back for a moment. "I'm just someone he uses, likes to play with for a few minutes. The first time was a dare, and the second...I don't even know anymore."
There was also the time in the ministry, and then when they were lying in bed, and yesterday. Fuck, it didn't matter now but yes, it meant something. They were thoughts that went with the words he would never say.
Instead he went backward. "A lot of people kiss and it doesn't have to mean anything. Neither does a shag or whatever people do. Sometimes it is just pleasure. Feelings are too bloody complicated. I said that in school, remember?"