He laughed, just a little, and had to admit that Sandy had a point. "They don't see it as selfish though. They see it as living." He shrugged. He didn't really understand what any of them had been thinking, himself included. He'd just been so worried that he hadn't thought about what it would mean to break his promise to Dylan.
"It's my fault. I should have thought about what I was doing, instead of just forging ahead." He didn't want anyone making excuses for him, and he just hoped it would be worth it in the end. If Dylan and Jamie survived, he thought that it would be. "I should have been able to handle it, and to find a different way to help."
"He's not though. Don't say that." He pulled back and looked at Sandy. "He's ill, and stressed, worried about Jamie and upset that I betrayed him. I don't blame him for being angry." He sighed, and a few more tears leaked out. He didn't want to cry, but it was suddenly hard to stop. "Going near him won't be a problem though. He never wants to see me again, remember?"