TAPESTRY (tapestry) wrote in blurred_owls, @ 2008-07-29 21:29:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! [1979-07] july, astra lestrange (née avery), severus snape |
Astra, You have not written to me for several days, which I deduce means either Aquila has forbidden you to speak to me or you have chosen so of your own accord. Whichever it may be, please do not feel any guilt. I would take this responsibility on my own shoulders. It was my own belief that services to the Dark Lord would somehow lessen the stain of my Father’s blood: my desperate hope that I could, perhaps, erase that which I despise from my life and would be allowed the honour of your hand. I have made so many mistakes. I did not speak to your father before speaking to you. I overlooked the importance of my parentage. I was fearful of what your brother would say, which should have been a sign to me that what I was doing and the way I was going about it was all wrong. I did not think what grief my actions might cause you, or that it might endanger your chances among society. My only excuse is also the one thing I do not regret: love. And whatever others may believe or say to you, I do love you, Astra. And it is for this reason that I tell you that a life together cannot be. And indeed I see now that it must not be. You deserve better. You deserve a man who can give you a place in society, and a last name you can be proud of. Children who will not be forced to work as hard as I have done for respect and position. You should not endure whispers behind your back because of the man you have married. The only option for us is something that I will not ask of you. You need your family and your friends. You need your life. You deserve that life more than anyone I know and I will not be the cause of you not having it. I will not do to you what my Father did to my Mother. I will not further upset your chances for that life. I hope for you only a man who will love and adore you - as I would have done had I been given that opportunity - you deserve no less. I will not say goodbye, although I will not write to you again. Should you ever want for any thing you have only to contact me - no questions asked; nothing expected in return. A coeur vaillant rein d’impossible, mon amour. |