Alice is far too pregnant for this! (no_wonder) wrote in blurred_owls, @ 2009-08-08 16:24:00 |
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July 29 1979 Dear Frank, I was the one who told the Order to sit down and write these letters to our loved ones, just in case. It seemed like a good idea at the time. In times like these, I think it's better safe than sorry. We should all leave a record of what we wanted to say, what we wanted done with our possessions and our bodies. Obviously, if I've died, everything that I have is yours, and you're free to do with it as you like. Most of my possessions aren't, ultimately, of that much importance, which makes me wonder how people write such long documents dividing who gets what. Or, rather, why people want the mundane possessions of their dead relatives. I suppose this just makes me realise how few material things I have that are of great worth. Who would want my clothes or Auror's books? They're all yours, to do what you like with. I would like to be buried, preferably with your family. I'm not certain whether or not my parents will argue with you on that point. They might want me put in the Prewett plot in Pembrokeshire, but I think I would rather be with the Longbottoms. That way, we can be put next to each other. I wouldn't much want a large Ministry funeral, I don't think. Keep it small. Our families, our friends, our coworkers. I don't like the idea of people I never knew or liked much putting on airs about my death. Imagine Jeremiah Smith there reporting(!) The rest of the details I'm not much fussed over, though I know some people have specific requests about flowers and officiators. Remember that woman from Wick who wanted everyone to sing "Auld Lang Syne" at her funeral? I can't think of anything like that. Maybe I will think of something later. As for the less business-like aspects of what to say in a letter like this... well, to be honest, I'm not certain of what to that I don't trust you already know. You made me into the person that I am today. When I left Hogwarts, I still didn't know if I was making all of the right choices, going into Auror training, living on my own, defying what my parents wanted. Having you as my mentor was a god-send. You knew what kind of potential I had and helped me grow and develop and become more confident in myself. I feel silly writing all of this down when you're just outside in the garden, and technically, I could go say it all outloud, but that's not the point. I feel silly being so sentimental. But you know that I love you very much. You're the best husband and partner that I could have asked for. I think we make a good team, don't we? I'm sure that you'll be just as good without me, though. (I told you this was silly.) I don't want to think about what you will do in the months and years after I've died. I know that the right answer is that I would want you to be happy no matter what, but the more selfish part of myself doesn't want you to move on to other Auror partners, another wife. This isn't the sort of thing I ought to be writing. I ought to tell you to go out and be happy. But I always felt that things were just right with the two of us. I don't know how I would handle being without you, so I don't like the idea of it in opposite, either. It's easier if I just concentrate on the logistics of what I want done if I die. Annendum, 10 January 1980: I've finally gotten the chance to add more to this letter concerning recent developments. I've been meaning to do it for a while, but I've been too busy with the holidays, and then this past week has been a mad house. I've finally gotten to sit down and say something, though. I don't hve the energy to completely rewrite this letter. I don't think that I can think too hard about the prospect of my own death or I might change my mind about all of this. I might say that I want to leave, to go somewhere safe, and to take it all back. I won't say that I don't have fear of death, but we've gone too far to the blood traitor side to ever go back now. I often times wonder if I really do all of this because I'm courageous or because I'm corwardly and know that this is my only option. It's not that I don't believe in what we're fighting for, I do. It's just that I never thought of myself as being on the other side of the law. I never imagined being called a terrorist and a wanted woman. I don't like it. But anyway, that's not the point of this annendum. The real purpose was to say -- well, I'm not going to get a large Ministry funeral now, am I? and, more importantly, if I'm dead, I want your first priority to be our baby. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that he or she makes it into the world. Not even Death Eaters are vicious enough to kill a pregnant woman, are they? So, invariably, this will be once he or she is born. If it's a girl, you can keep some of my things to give her, jewellery and my dolls from when I was a girl. Even if it means that you have to stop, I want him or her to be taken care of. Our child doesn't deserve to lose both of their parents. That's all I have to add. And it's all I'm going to say, because otherwise, I won't know how to finish. Love, Alice |
5 May 1980 Dear Hippo, I bet that you didn't know that your dad and I used to call you 'Hippo,' before you were born. It started when I suggested 'Hippolytus' for your name if you are a boy. Or 'Hippolyta' if you are a girl, I suppose. But, not knowing whether you'll be a girl or a boy, and not having decided on any names, Hippo you are for the time being. After you're born, I'll edit this letter so that it has your name in it. I'm sure it will be a very good one. I just want to have this written in case something catastrophic happens and I don't have a chance to update it. I don't even know what your gender is, what you look like, what sort of a person you'll grow up to be. But I already love you more than anything else in the world. I want to be able to watch you grow up, to shape what sort of a person you become. But you were born into a world that doesn't have any guarantees of that. Children are being left orphaned every day. Parents lose their children. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that you're safe. But I can't be sure about myself. It won't be easy to grow up without a mother. Everyone should have both of their parents. I want you to know, though, that I wouldn't have risked my life if I didn't think it was worth it. Everything that we do in this war is for you. It's so that you can grow up in a world without violence. Without Death Eaters. It's so that you are free to grow up and marry a Muggleborn if you want without anyone looking down at you or calling you a blood traitor. So that you can know everything you want about Muggles. So that you aren't expected to be anything different because your parents both happened to be purebloods. A world where you can go out and play in our yard and eat ice cream and buy broomsticks and toys and books in Diagon Alley without fear for your life. I hope that the world you live in is like that. I hope that you know that I would have done anything for you, no matter how much I wish that I were there to watch you grow up. Be good to your dad. He deserves it. Love, Mum |
14 July 1980 To the Order of the Phoenix, If you're reading this letter, it means that one more of us is gone. I'm not going to say a lot of emotional, sappy things in this letter. I've tried in my previous drafts, and it just all came out with a level of utter silliness that I just can't handle. I will just say that I care about every one of you in the Order and that I can only hope that this is the last letter like this that you lot read. I do have some final requests. Frank has been left with the details of what I would like for my funeral, but I'm going to leave the entirety of the Order with a short writeup, lest (Merlin forbid) something happen to both of us. -- Our Hippo will, of course, be cared for by Frank. However, I want all of you to keep in contact with Hippo. I want you to be a part of his or her life. The Order is such an amazing group of people. If I had lived, I would have wanted you all to know him or her. I would have wanted him to have a little bit of every one of you. Moody and Andromeda are going to be named his or her godparents, but I want him or her to know each and every one of you. -- I would like to be buried with the Longbottom family. Specifics otherwise aren't important. -- All of my Dark Detectors, my Sneakoscope, Foe Glass, potions that we've kept, books, all of that, I'm leaving for you to use. We need all the help that we can get. -- I want someone (Andromeda might be the best option, as my family never took much of a liking to Frank) to contact my family and tell them what's happened. Maybe if they know that their daughter was killed by the Ministry she once worked for, they'll finally come around. -- My mother-in-law, Augusta, has provisions to open our Gringotts vault, should the very worst happen. In there is the Order's finances and documents, given to us by Dumbledore. These will go to Moody. The Gringotts will know what to give you, and presumably Moody will know what to do with them. Frank has arranged all of this already. And I would like to leave you with my final wishes for what the Order should do. Of course, as always, they are not orders so much as suggestions, but I say without ego that I think they are good ones. -- Get our members back from the Rehabilitation Centre. We need them. We need Aberforth. We need James. We need Tabitha. They're important, and even more, we don't know what kind of information they're giving up. Kill Gaius Travers if you have to. As we have two of the best Healers in Britain, I have no doubt that, with time, they will be able to undo the damage done by Travers. -- Hit back, and do it hard. We have been doing better at this over the last few months. Keep it up. Gone are the days where we can delude ourselves that this can be won through boycotts, pins, and Stunners. We need to strike at what they hold dearest to them. I knew the purists and their values well. Andromeda and Sirius do, too. They can help you decide what to hit. But these people value their homes, their heirlooms, and their legacies. That is why they value family -- not because of the blood connections, but because of what family means -- their history, their purity, and their continued domination. -- Try to work with Albion. We have the same goals. I know that none of us trust Pepper, and we have reason not to. But they're good people, hard workers, and they are trained. Rufus Scrimgeour is the best at what he does, and he'll be able to help you. -- Keep Resistance Radio going. Keep targeting the media. The Prophet is how the Death Eaters keep people ignorant and afraid. Spread the truth. When more people know what's really going on, they'll rise up. There's only so long that people can live like this. -- Talk to Jeremiah Smith at what used to be the Daily Prophet. He was my contact. Tell him I'm dead and I sent you. He has useful information, even if he is a prick. -- Protect yourselves. Moody knows how to do this. I know that when he barks orders, he can seem a little ridiculous (no offence meant, Moody), but he knows what he's talking about, and if you listen to him, you're that much better off. I've run out of things to put on my to-do list. Keep fighting the good fight. You're all good people whom I've grown to care about very much. I have faith in you, that each and every one of you can make a difference. Sincerely, Alice |
14 July 1980 To the Army of Albion, I feel as though you deserve some parting words as much as anyone else I know, though now that I'm sitting down to write this, I'm not positive of what to say. You're all such strong and independent people that I don't feel as though I need to give you the guidance in my last words as I do with the Order. You know what you have to do, it's just a matter of getting it done. It has been an honour to work with all of you, from the time that I was eighteen years old. The times when we were really getting work done, bringing in Death Eaters and giving old Crouch grief for his form letters, were by far some of the best that I've had in my life. I've never regretted becoming an Auror. It heartens me to know that so many of us were dedicated enough to follow Rufus out into the Scottish wilderness, where we'd be outlaws scavenging for food and living in barracks. I've always respected those of you who didn't have a home under Fidelius to go back to. Your help at Hogwarts was indispensible. You'll get the Ministry back. I know that you will. It might take time, and more lives, and hardship and pain and sacrifices, but I know that it will happen. I also know that Rufus will know how to rebuild this broken-down country. Please try to help the Order. I know that some of you don't like them, for personal reasons, or because they were the 'vigilantes' when we were in charge. But they're good people who are fighting for the same things we are. They want equalitiy and peace. They want Albion restored to the Ministry. They just need guidance. Many of them are young, many of them are rash. But with the right guiding hand, they will help you win this. Working with you has been worth all that I have suffered because of it. My parents' anger, being called a terrorist by the Death Eaters who started this whole thing. Thank you for making the Auror office worth the sacrifice. Thank you for being such hard workers and assuring me that there are still many people out there who believe in justice and the law. Sincerely, Alice |
14 July 1980 Dear Lily, I'm going to try and keep this short, because I've already said a lot in all the letters I have to dead people. However, I wanted to tell you that I'm infinitely grateful that you joined the Order. You feel like a little sister I never had. Someone I could take under my wing. It's a little odd that we're going to have babies at the same time, in that case, but I'm sure that Elvendork and Hippo will be the best of friends (or future husband and wife, if we're so lucky). Please do your best to look after Hippo. He or she will need a mum of some sort. Someone who can nag about his hair being too long or her shirts being too low cut. Someone to give hugs and bake biscuits (surely yours are better than mine, so that's an improvement). I think that, as Elvendork and Hippo will surely be friends, you're a prime candidate. And I'm not asking you to help raise my baby with I'm gone. I'm sure that Frank will do fine with that. I just want there to be someone like you he or she can be close to. I know these past few months have been incredibly hard on you, losing Marlene and your husband. We'll get James back, though. I know that we will. I know that Hestia and Beth can undo the damage. I know that Sirius and you will know how to handle him. I know that he loves you, despite what he's been saying. I know that, when Elvendork is born, all perfect despite his "dirtied" blood (please, laugh right now at this notion), he'll love his son or daughter. I know that you're strong enough to make it through this. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of what you've done for the Order, and the mother I know you're going to be. Love, Alice |
14 July 1980 Dear Andromeda, I'm going to try and keep this brief. I just wanted to say a few words to you, as I know that you have lost far more than any one person deserves to lose. The purists and Death Eaters might say that you left your family, but any family that was worthy of you wouldn't have unceremoniously burned you off of your family tree. You didn't deserve to lose Ted, either. We've been friends for as long as we've had husbands who were the best of friends, and I always imagined that we would have our children play together as we sat on the lawn, watching them. All four of us. I suppose that it wasn't meant to be. There were more important things to do, sacrifices to be made. Please, try to take care of my family now that it's gone. Frank will need support. I'm even more worried now that Ted is gone, too. You're to be Hippo's godmother. You can teach him or her all about how to be well-dressed and defiant and strong, and going against stereotypes. I'm sure that, with me gone, you'll have a very special place in Hippo's life. You have the strength to do all of this. Just keep going. You've already proven yourself multiple times. The Order will do anything for you, if you need them to. They should know that if they don't, I'll come back as a ghost and make their lives even worse than they already are. The safehouse will be haunted by a very irritable poltergeist. You can lean on all of them. Love, Alice |
14 July 1980 Moody -- You're godfather to our baby. Wait until Hippo's at least eleven before you start teaching him or her Shield Charms and jinxes. I'd hate for you to get drug in for something regarding underaged magic. Help Frank keep charge of the Order. You can ask Frank to see the papers Dumbledore left us. I've read everything, Frank hasn't. Really, someone should have all that information in their head. I've always admired you and wanted to be harder and fiercer like you. You're one of the best Aurors I know. (You and Rufus and fight over which one wants that distinction -- though not to the death.) Love (and if you vomit at this point, try not to do it all over the parchment, it has sentimental value!), Alice |