This is really weird. You'd think that it would stop being weird since this is like... the ninth time I've rewritten these, but it's still really really strange to think about other people reading it. I'm hoping that someday after the war's all over and we've won that there'll be some sort of museum or something dedicated to everyone who didn't make it, and that'll I'll still be around to rip these things to shreds so that they don't become an "artifact of war" or whatever. I think most of them went up with James's house, which is probably a good thing because no one needs that many "oh hey look I died" letters hanging out.
But. Holy cow this is weird. Okay. Apparently if you ARE reading these, you're either impeccably nosy or my plans of sticking around just to spite the death eaters fell through. And if that's the case, I need you all to keep giving them hell for me. And I know you will; I have no doubt about that. Hopefully I went out kicking arse and taking names and brought a bunch of them down with me, and not something stupid like... I don't know. Falling asleep in a pool. That'd suck.
Anyway. I've got a lot of plants growing in the back yard that'll either serve as potion ingredients or actual weapony things. Some are deceptively pretty. There's a couple of dangerous things in the back there -- Frank, you should probably take care of those, since I know you'll know how to keep them from eating you. Make sure you guys keep up with the radio -- there are instructions right on it for how to cut into the WWN signal taped under the left speaker. Don't let anyone shut you up. Get the word out to people in every improper gory detail, because even if people don't want to hear it, they need to. Get your own stories out, get the stories out for those of us who aren't around any more to tell them, and and don't back down until people listen. Don't let the death eaters write the history books. (Even if I would make a damn sexy supervillain.)
Someone let Carlotta, Doris, Jo, Kingsley, and Uncle Gilly know what happened, and I know Remus will take care of Sammie and Lady for me but if you guys could still pop in and play with them every now and again, they loves the company. Also Sammie's a fierce battle weapon with a full bladder, so note that as you will. Ugh god I am musing about my dogs. Okay.
Everybody is in the Order for a reason, and all of you are such strong and amazing people that I feel incredibly honoured to have been a part of it. Keep each other safe, keep yourselves safe, and don't give up even when things are looking impossible. We are going to win this. And I have faith that you guys can do it. You guys've all been like my family, and I thank you all for it. Especially for putting up with me when I act like a brat, or for giving me a chance when I probably didn't deserve one, or for knocking some sense into me when I needed it, and for teaching me things that I wouldn't've known without you. I wouldn't've made it this far (however far "this" far is) without you guys.
[Frank, Alice, Moody, Aberforth]
You guys have all been such a huge inspiration to me, and to the rest of the Order. Your guidance and dedication to all this has been incredible, and it's going to be a great day when you're able to look back and know that you guys helped end the war. Frank and Alice, you two are going to be amazing parents, and I hope that I'll get a chance to rewrite this at a time where I'll be able to say that I KNOW that you're amazing parents. I know you've definitely been there for me. Moody, thank you for staying tough on us, and for appeasing mine and Agnes's drug-addled ways. I am happy to say that I Once Hugged Alastor Moody. Abe, thank you for the drinks and for helping me train, and for assuring me forever ago that there are no such thing as werefetuses. Keep pushing everyone, you guys. They're going to need you.
[Beth and Hestia]
I don't think I can count the number of times that you two have stitched me up and put me back together again, and I can't thank you enough for it. You two take such good care of all of us, and while I know it's not quite working in a hospital, what you guys do for the Order is so freaking important. Thank you for doing what my little sister didn't get a chance to. And more than that, you are two of my best friends, and thank you for being there through all the fights and the radio shows and the ice cream parties. You both have this amazing strength of character and I'm totally kind of jealous of it.
[Emmeline, Tibby]
I am so glad that I'm able to say I've known you both since I was eleven. Emmeline, you are such a freaking brainiac, and I hardly ever had the slightest clue what you and Dorcas were talking about when you'd go all DoM on us, but I love you for it. You are such a strong, talented person, and even though I don't remember it happening I am glad that you and me and Agnes all apparently made out one time. I think. It was An Experience, and those are always good to have.
And Tibby, Tabbit, Taberino, Tabborine... you terrified me as a first year because everything you had was pink. I'm glad I got over that, though, because you've been an incredible friend, who has amazing ideas and is nice enough not to make fun of my awful attempts at accents. You're so much braver than you think you are.
[Damocles]
You're going to cure Lycanthropy. I know you are. You are an amazing guy and a freaking genius, and I'm glad I got the chance to know you. Hopefully there'll be something growing in the garden that you'll be able to use.
Although let it be known that if your experiments hurt Remus, you'll regret it. You will be getting a serious butt-kicking from the Great Beyond.
[Dung]
If it wasn't for you, we never would've been able to finally figure out the listening devices, which have been amazing when it comes to giving us the heads up on things. Thank you for being the Order's ears in places we wouldn't think to listen.
[Patty]
You are such a bad arse. You bring so much knowledge and experience to this from what happened in Czechoslovakia, and we're all better for it.
[Sirius, Pete, James, Lily]
There is way too much for me to say here, and it's making me kind of annoyingly sniffly to think about it, and I don't do sap well (and I know you guys'll probably laugh at me if you read it.)
You guys are my family. You've been there for me at my best and my worst and kept me from falling to pieces both literally and emotionally. You were there for me when I didn't have anyone else or anywhere else to go. You were there on the happiest impromptu day of my life. Thank you for listening, and for helping me down fire escapes and out of burning buildings and for getting me out of situations that no one should ever be in. Please watch out for each other, because as much as I don't ever want to say goodbye to you guys, I don't want any of you to have to do it too. I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't have you all, and even though I'm sure others would argue otherwise, I definitely see that as a good thing.
You guys had better make it through this, because I still call Original Godmum Dibs on Elvendork, and I had better see you all spoiling her rotten. That kid is going to be so damn loved.
And I guess that's it. Take care of Remus for me, because if he feels anything like I did after I thought he was gone, he's going to need you.
I love you guys forever.
[/Wards]
And that's it, because this is really long for something I don't plan on anyone ever seeing, and you guys are all probably like oh my gosh Marlene shut UP already. So yes. Be happy and healthy and win this thing. I'll miss you guys, and I don't want to see any of you too soon. I love you all.
Remus,
I don't want to write this. And I hope that you never have to read it, because I know what this feels like. But you came back, and I can only hope that I get to do the same. I doubt it, but it would be nice, although I'd hate for you to go through that for any length of time, because it really fucking sucks. Which obviously you know if you're reading this. Ugh. This is seriously the most depressing and awkward thing in the world to write, and it's definitely good that you're not here right now because I am such a basketcase writing th
Starting over.
Someday when the war is over, I hope we get to spend a night burning these damn things. It'll be incredibly romantic. There can be music and steak and candles and letter burning, because I hope that you never have to go through what comes along with these letters, just like I hope I never have to see yours ag.
Thank you. For everything: for being my best friend, and for taking a chance on us, and for letting me cling on like the succubus I am and putting up with all my crap. Thank you for letting me be Mrs. Marlene Lupin, and for taking me to Amsterdam, and for all of the amazing little things that meant the world to me. Thank you for coming back, and I am sorry that if you're reading this I didn't do the same. Sammie and Lady are going need you to be brave for them, and I know you will be.
You are such an amazingly strong man, and you have done and are going to do amazing things. You're going to help the Order win this war. You're going to help Damocles find a cure for lycanthropy, I know you are, and I will be so fucking happy for you once you do, because you deserve it. You're going to change lives, just like you've changed mine. I don't regret a second of it, except maybe that it took us so long to realise that we had something there. Hell, if I would've known, I wouldn't've left you alone on the train first year. Of course, you probably would've been terrified of my awful haircut and never spoken to me again, and I wouldn't've blamed you for it, but in theory, I wish we could've had longer.
I love you so much, and I hope that you will always always know that. I don't want you to hurt because I'm not around. I want you to do everything that you've ever wanted to do. Teach, because you'd be incredible, and you've taught me so bloody much. Go travel, see the world, live your life, and have a bunch of amazing stories to tell me when we see each other again. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. I sure as hell don't want to THINK about that right now, but you deserve to stay just as happy as you've made me.
And then when it's time, a really really long time from now, after you have a long fulfilling happy life, you'll find me. You always have been able to find me.
Because you're the best hide and seek player ever. And I will be waiting to pounce, because I'm going to want a hug, dammit.
And I'm putting this away now because I'm getting loopy.