Elsie Prod (puredeadbrill) wrote in blurred_owls, @ 2009-05-11 14:18:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | ! [1980-05] may, . order of the phoenix, damocles belby, elsie prod |
26 March, 1980 Damocles, If you're reading this I guess it means I've kicked it. I really hope you didn't kick it too but if you're reading this I guess not. Of course, since we're both not dead that doesn't mean I'm not worried. If something happens to us it seems like there's a good chance it'll be both of us, but I really hope not. (If that's the case, too, and it's Egnorwiddle who's reading this, you'd best shut the letter and give it to Ma and Dad. Now.) All right, first things first. I lied about Dem's death but I don't want to lie to them about my own. Go ahead and tell them I'm a vigilante. Tell them about whatever happened. I'm not saying you have to tell them about you, but just maybe that I told you in this letter or something of the sort. I can't be arsed to figure it out but you're smart. Secondly, I've got an envelope all prepared in my bureau with everything I want at my funeral. Got it all together when I was doing Dem's stuff. Figured I could make it easy on you. Plus I don't want Dorothy coming in and trying to muck everything up and picking horrible songs, after all. I bet she'd do it. If I've moved out of the house and haven't re-written this, the envelope's in my old room at Ma and Dad's. My will's in there too. The house is yours, if I've still got it, though I might like it to go to the Order if that will help anything. And all the information for the plot is in there too, since I do want to be buried next to Dem and all. Tell the Postmaster what happened too. He deserves that much, and I know he secretly doesn't support the current Ministry. You might make a good contact. There are some pictures I've got at work too, you can take them if you want them or give them to Ma. Except the ones with me and the folk at work, give those to the Postmaster. And give him my apologies too, for everything. Guess that's about it for things you've got to do. Still real odd to think about me dying, especially since I thought we were real quiet and all but then this all happened with Dem. It's still hard and I know I'm throwing myself into Order stuff to not think about it much but you've been pretty great through all of it. Thanks for that. I didn't really tell you this before, but after Dem died I thought long and hard about leaving the Order. Wondered if it was worth it, if it really was my fault that Dem died, if it was the Order's fault. But I figured, if I just left and went back to a "normal" life, what would I have? Dem's already gone. I'd just be a twenty-seven year old widow with the same job I've had since I was a teenager and a house I don't want to live in to finish paying off by myself. I'm not okay with what happened - might have been easier had some Death Eater killed him and I'd have someplace to direct my anger, but it wasn't. But can I blame myself for the lies that Dem bought into? Dunno, but if I work hard enough for the Order maybe his death will be worth it. Hope that my death is worth it too, since if you're reading this I'm dead. I hope it was braw. Guess I was too complacent with my family all still being all right when everyone else has lost people. You can't blame yourself though like you probably will because you recruited me and all. I'll hit you if you do. It was my decision to join up and none of this is your fault - not Dem's death, nothing. Unless my death really was your fault but I don't think that's likely. Even if it is, I don't care because I know you tried your hardest and you're my brother. And you're not Egnorwiddle. Still, I made my own choices. Don't really know what else to say here. Make sure you don't give up on your potion or I'll never forgive you. You'd better create something brilliant because I know you can. I've been working on those IDs and hopefully I've got them perfect and I'll make a lot of notes and I plan on showing you my tricks so you'd better keep that going. Muggleborns will need them, we'll need them, etc. Make sure you spoil Marcus for me since I'm not around to do it. Buy him everything he wants that Dorothy won't get for him. Find yourself a nice girl and marry her. Have some kids but don't name one after me, that's creepy. A middle name would be okay. Sorry I can't be at your wedding. Or there when your kids are born. Or throwing you a giant birthday party when you turn 100 and embarrassing you for getting old. Sorry I never gave you a niece or nephew - I wanted to. Sorry for all the shite I gave you growing up and I forgive you for all the shite you gave me. I'll miss you. Not as much as you'll miss me since I'm the one who's dead, but I'll still miss you. I'll see you soon though, or at least soon for me and hopefully not too soon for you. Promise. I love you. |
26 March, 1980 To the Order of the Phoenix, Dunno really what to say here, since I don't really think I'll be dead before I rewrite this letter after we've won or lost or whatever it is, but in case I do, make sure to give them all hell. Private to Tabitha Tibby, I'm real glad I was able to meet you and get to know you since I joined up. I never had a sister, but I had you. Tell Ioan he's the best and thanks and you'd better be real happy with him and have some braw babies with him. You should keep my recipe book too - it's got all my secrets. Private to Andromeda and Ted It still seems like yesterday we were all on prefect rounds together and now I'm dead, but I'm real glad I got to start seeing you two again after I joined up. Your daughter's beautiful. Don't ever give up and I'll miss you. Private to Frank and Alice I can't thank the two of you enough for what you did when my husband died. Nothing about that situation was good and I'm real sorry for all the trouble (and all the trouble in the past, like the yak thing), but I still really appreciate it. Private to Remus, Marlene, Peter, Sirius, James and Lily Dunno if any of you have the time or inclination, but don't forget about making fake IDs. Hopefully I've have made a few foolproof ones, maybe I've taught some of you, but if not then ask Damocles about it - he's got my notes now (or he should) and hopefully I've taught him how to make them. Thanks for all the help too that day of the fire, even though it ended badly. Still was a lot of help. My tea leaves say there are tough times ahead for the Order, but I've got faith in you lot. I liked you all, even when I lost my temper. Sorry I had to leave you but I sure hope I at least did something worthwhile. Don't give up or I'll come back and haunt you or something. Sorry this letter's so rubbish too. Take care of my brother for me. He needs someone to look out for him. And maybe find him a date too if you can. I've been trying, but it looks like I'm not around anymore. Guess that's it. |